"To the person I was, to the soul of myself, I am sorry I have failed you time and time again."
Prologue: Attempt 442
April 3rd, 2076
He had been here once before… but yet, it was his first time in the world's eyes. He had felt the dry ground and the gritty texture of dirt beneath his feet many times, but yet, they didn’t remember the way his feet pressed on them.
He had felt the warm rays of the beautiful sun as they glimmered on his obscured features, yet the sun couldn’t recognize his face. The blue expanse of the sky stretched farther than his eye could perceive, so grand and large. So empty…
But he was wrong. The blue sky wasn’t void of everything except for its blue pigment. No, he could see small dots gliding through the air. Their large car-sized wings and elongated necks could be spotted with the man's keen, precise eyes.
From afar, they seemed so beautiful and elegant, with pale white feathers like a swan and a long beak akin to a crane. But they were feared. After all, they were monsters. Monsters who had no sense of remorse or morality.
Monsters who would eat him without a second thought. However, they simply couldn’t… and because of that reason, he could admire their beauty without fear.
A naked man let out a sigh and leaned his head against a large sycamore tree. His features concealed by the sunlight, he lifted his chin and admired how the enormous tree towered at least three hundred feet above him. But it also felt out of place.
The scenic tree stood alone, in a tennis-sized crater that was formed by a fallen meteor long ago. The long-growing grass and moss indicated how much time had passed since its landing, but the closer you got to the center, the more the greeneries faded and were replaced with the dry grittiness of dirt.
Above the landing sight, a lush, flat green land expanded farther than human eyes could see, as smaller groups of trees and lakes were accompanied by shadowy movements of creatures that were barely distinguishable from afar.
“Yes… I’ve seen it all before.” The man breathed, leaning against the tree with his eyes closed. “Every single tree, every monster, every flower, every blade of grass, I've seen this all a long time ago.”
But yet, here he was, at the same exact spot. Why would such a man return to a place he knew so much about? Perhaps deep down, he liked it and didn’t want to admit it. Or perhaps, he didn’t know how to leave.
“It's going to rain.” The naked man predicted, inhaling the air, even though not a single cloud in the sky hinted at that conclusion. But sure enough, after minutes of patiently waiting for his prediction to come true, dark grey clouds swirled above the great sycamore tree.
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The sun now covered in grey, it didn’t take long before a water drop splashed on his nose. Deciding not to wait until his whole body was drenched, he stood up to face the tree's base. A hole roughly the size of a human was carved into it, while pieces of bark were scattered on the ground.
It almost seemed like it was a hollow tree that someone had broken the outer shell to seek cover. The naked man decided not to deny this perfect opportunity and entered the hole, albeit It wasn’t the size of a modern bed or anything, but it would do until the rain stopped.
His rear already started itching from all the bugs as he sat in the tree, and his skin bristled from the chill brought by the wind and rain. “Yet again…” the man sighed, almost calling out to someone who’d never understand his pain. “I wasn’t wrong…”
No one would understand him… he was alone. Just like the hollow tree, he was empty inside. Not a single fragment of hope in his soul. He yearned for a person who’d lend him a simple ear while he vented about his troubles.
Someone who would understand him. Someone who wouldn’t interrogate and wouldn’t doubt if he was telling the truth or not. Someone who’d just make him feel… listened to.
“I guess it wouldn’t matter that much, huh?” the man's lips moved, yet the rest of his face was hidden in the darkness of the hollow tree. “In the end, I’ll still come back here. But one day, I would like to tell someone everything.
Tell them what happened, what I endured, and share everything that I have done.” The naked man couldn’t help but smile. “That sounds nice. Really nice.”
He longed for that moment… no matter how long it took, he wanted that more than anything. “I really hope this is the last one,” he whispered. “Four hundred and forty-two…”
The man huddled as he waited for the storm to pass, the frigid weather making his lips quiver and his body shake. But before he knew it, a ray of sunlight passed through the trees’ awning and into the hole, making him raise his head from his bundled-up position and meet the beautiful spectacle of the warm orange light reflecting off the wet leaves that created a beautiful glimmer above.
Leaving the shelter, he took in the beauty. No matter how many times he had seen it, the sight always made him feel a bit better. It made him come back to reality, even though the concept of it had become distorted in his mind.
Inhaling the fresh scent of rain, the man suddenly noticed movement from the corner of his eye. “Huh?” he froze. A swift, small black creature landed on a tree branch, making him lose his balance and topple on the dirt in surprise. His heart began thudding in his chest. More than he ever thought he was capable of.
Thud… Thud… Thud…
Putting his hand on his pounding heart, he could only stare in absolute awe. The creature that had landed… He couldn’t believe his eyes. The naked man first thought he was in a dream, but it was right before him. This was no dream, this was reality.
The realization of what this meant made him feel so… He didn’t know what it was… but it felt like a flower began blooming in his chest.
Is this what hope is?
A drop of water splashed on his crotch, and at first, he thought another storm was upon him, but not a single rain cloud could be spotted. One after another, he felt the same drops of water… before finally realizing it was him.
He was crying.
He had forgotten how it felt.
But he couldn’t help it, not after gaping at the beautiful creature that watched him with its obsidian black eyes, and its black-feathered figure.
“A crow…” the man sobbed. “It’s a fucking simple crow.”
But yet, the man couldn’t help but think it was the most magnificent creature he had ever seen. Because it was more than just a crow to him. It was a sign—a symbol of hope.
“Finally,” his nose sniffled from snot as he wiped his tears. “Something I haven’t seen before.”