Warm Moon / 6 / 1218 A.F.

“I. You. Really?” The choir boy looks up at me like a confused puppy. “You’re really going to be my bodyguard?” his wrist relaxes as he smiles.

“On two conditions.”

“Of course! Name anything!”

I kick the knife out of his hand and stomp his wrist to the ground. “You do what I tell you to do and you never point a knife at me again. Got it?”

The choir boy panics and thrashes about for a little bit before calming down. “Y-yes, ma’am! I’m sorry!”

“Three conditions.” I get off his foot and walk towards the knife.

“O-of course…” he groans and rubs his hand.

“Don’t call me ma’am.” I pick up the knife and get a good look at it. It’s a butter knife that’s been haphazardly sharpened.

“B-but what should I call you then?”

“Astrid.” I dust the knife off, put it in my satchel, and extend my arm to the kid. “Who are you?”

“David.” David takes my hand and helps himself up. “Can I have my knife back?”

“You can have it back when we get out of the Ravine.” I turn my back to David and start heading back to the lift. “Keep quiet and stay close to me. Tap my shoulder if you see something in the water.”

“Yes, ma- Astrid.” David begins following me- and yells no less than three seconds later. “A-astrid! There’s a dead body here!”

“Eh?” I turn around to see David staring at Gramp’s corpse. His arms and lips are shaking. He’s even fallen flat on his butt. “Oh, Gramps? Yeah, I knew that. Hurry up.”

“How did you know that?” David’s eyes begin to moisten.

“I killed him.” I shrug. “Now hurry up or I’m leaving you behind.”

“Why would you kill him…? What could an old man like him have done?”

“He tried to kill me.”

“Oh…” David takes a deep breath and wipes his nose with his sleeve. “I see… My apologies. Please let me say a prayer for him at least.”

“You got thirty seconds.” I cross my arms.

“Thank you!” David gets on his knees, touches his forehead to the ground, and starts muttering something. “Oh Divine Matriarch… Mother of the Soil, Sea, and Sky. Please let this man’s soul know rest… Please give him the strength to pass on and me the will to carry on his will. Glory be.” David kisses the ground and begins tossing some loose soil onto Gramps.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m burying him. You always bury the dead.”

“Not here you don’t.” I grab David by the scruff of his neck and hoist him over my right shoulder like he’s a sack of potatoes. “Thirty seconds are up. Time to go.” I hoist the stone over my left shoulder and turn towards the swamp.

“That’s not true!” David waddles his legs. “Only twenty-one seconds have passed!”

“What’s that? You want me to leave you here?”

“Sorry, ma’am…”

I give David a firm pat on the back and finally begin waddling through the Ravine’s swamp again. Passed by the goop wall again, turned around, and soon enough I see the lift. A few steps later and David opens his mouth again.

“Astrid…”

“Don’t tell me you have to pee.”

“Fortunately not… just… bodies.”

“Then close your eyes or get used to it.” I keep trudging through the thigh-high swamp juice until I feel a body brush up against my knee. I look down to see the Rookie looking up at me. Empty eyes. Blood leaking from the mouth. Crossbow bolt through the neck. Out of the corner of my right eye, I can see the body of the dude who went back with the Rookie. He’s floating facedown in the swamp with a crossbow bolt in the back of his head. He’s also got a small mist gem clutched tight in his left hand. Both of them still have empty crossbows clutched in their right hands. “David. I’m going to let you down for a second.”

“O-okay.” David closes his eyes and holds his breath.

I plop David down into the swamp and begin prying the stone out of the man’s hand. After some twisting and pulling, I managed to free the stone and two fingers from his hand. Flicked the fingers off, stashed the stone, and trudged over to the Rookie’s body. Reached around his neck and found a little necklace. Looks like it’s made of silver and has his name, a series of numbers, and an address on it. I stash that as well, pick David back up over my shoulder, and resume my trip towards the lift. “You can open your eyes now. Bodies are gone.”

“Hooo…” David takes a deep breath. “Thank you, Astrid.”

“Don’t mention it.” I finally reach the base of the lift. Looks just as I left it. Lift’s still down. Still as rusty and grimy as usual. Should probably send someone to clean the goop off the rail there… it doesn’t look quite right. The Lost and Found trunk by the lift console looks as full as ever. Lost jewelry, I.D.s, lost jackets, weapons, even some old photos are still just wasting away there waiting for some poor Mistwalker’s family to pick them up. Wonder if there’s anything in there. I put David down and begin rummaging through the trunk.

“Thank you very much.” David pokes my back. “Can I have my stone back now?”

“Sure thing.” I hoist the stone off my shoulder and hand it back to David. He hugs it tight, bends his knees, and manages to carry it. He looks like he’s about to crap out his spine at any second, but he’s carrying it.

“Shall we depart?” David grunts. “I don’t like this place.”

“Are you kidding me?” I turn back to him. “You can’t just carry that stone around. You’d get robbed in ten minutes.”

“Oh… I see… what do you propose then?” David puts the stone down, sits on it, and wipes his forehead.

I glance back at the lost and found trunk. Looks like it’s still in serviceable condition. Old, but still sturdy. Got two adjustable leather straps by the sides. Old coat of blue paint. No holes. Looks as long as David’s torso and twice as thick. I flip the trunk upside down until it's empty then slide it over to David. “Here. See if it’ll fit.”

David looks down at the trunk for a second and opens his mouth. Words don’t come out. He just sighs and puts the stone in the trunk. “Are you sure this will work?”

“No, but it’s better than nothing.” I close the trunk, clip it shut, hoist it onto my back, and walk onto the lift. “Now hurry. Mirage’s tend to get real hungry around this time.”

“Okay okay!” David runs in and stays close to me.

I pull a lever up on the lift’s console and the lift begins ascending. Within two minutes, we rise out of the mist, ascend out of the Ravine, and get back to good old Dead End.

Dead End. A border town on the Southwest end of the Athesian Empire. Always cold. Nearly perpetual rain. Middle of nowhere. Inhabited only by smugglers, fugitives, Mistwalkers, hunters looking for some dangerous, yet lucrative work, and those with nowhere else to go. Accessible only via a midnight ferry along the Fortuna River. Even then, it’s not a trip most would consider worthwhile due to the near constant flooding, unstable currents, mist storms, and mirage attacks. The terrain is so unforgiving past a certain point Westward that the Athesian military does not police the Southwestern border. No military in the world could police the border better than nature. The town itself is built off the roof of a centuries old castle. Despite the harsh conditions, the roof has proven more sturdy than any of the surrounding swamp soil. There you’ll find nothing but the bare necessities: The Tavern, a ‘business house’ that facilitates all manner of smuggling, crime, and disappearances, and two competing inns. The only thing more dangerous than the terrain is the locals and the only thing more dangerous than the locals is the two innkeepers.

The two innkeepers have been locked in bloody competition for longer than any of the locals can remember. No one knows exactly when or how the rivalry started, they just accept that there are two inns at Dead End: Hunter’s Respite and Freedom’s Den. No more. No less. The last time someone else tried to set up shop, they were found pitchforked on the road in front of The Tavern. That’s not even the worst of it. One time the owner of Hunter’s Respite announced a sale and woke up the next morning to find that his daughter had been sold off to some prince from the United Principalities. Not to be outdone, the owner of Freedom’s Den woke with an arm and a leg missing and half his inn burnt to cinders.

While the inns and The Tavern are treacherous to reach and have limited resources, the customer service is top notch and all the other customers keep to themselves. Nothing is more honest than a den of thieves. There’s no pretense or masks. Everyone knows they’re filth and they all roll in it together like the pigs they are. The inns and Tavern are the only respite you’ll find for miles for even the outside of the town is practically a warzone. Packs of mercenaries hired by scholars roam the submerged depths of the castle towers searching for booty and anything else of historical significance. Slave auctions, scarlet deals, endangered species eggs. If there’s something you want and you have the coin, you can find it here. This hell is only reserved for the most hardened, most corrupt, and most mad individuals. Yet if you had the grit to make it this far, you’ll fit in just fine.

The lift gates open up and David and I head back into Dead End. It got a little colder since I went in. It is also night now. I swear time always flies when I’m in the Boundary. Stomach’s empty. Need a drink too. I immediately start heading towards The Tavern only to feel David pull my arm back.

“Is something wrong?” I look back at David.

“Why are those people on that bench looking at me?” David pulls himself up to my side.

“Eh?” I glance over and see two men and two women sitting on a bench beside a road. They’re just smoking some blues and talking to each other. Their armor looks worn and they all have rusty broadswords at their side. They also look real moist; like they haven’t had a bath in a week. “So what if they are? They won’t hurt you.”

“They look really dangerous… Can I please have my knife back?”

“Right.” I fetch the knife from my satchel and hand it back to David. “If you want to feel safer, you could always stab one of them. It’s a good way to send a message and earn some street cred.”

“Are you joking?” David holds the knife close to his chest.

“What part of that sounded like a joke?” I tilt my head.

“Oh…” David groans and his head falls in his hands. “This was a mistake…”

“Too late to chicken out now.” I pat him on the back and resume my trek to The Tavern. “Why are you even surprised? Dead End’s always like this. You had to have seen worse stuff on the way into the Ravine.”

“What? Ma- Astrid. You must be mistaken. I’ve never been to Dead End before.” David struggles to keep up with me. His legs look weak. Not injured by any means. Just weak. Poor kid looks like he’s never run a day in his life. I’ve seen starving street mutts with more meat on their legs.

“Excuse me?” I stop and turn back around to face David again. “What do you mean you’ve never been here before? How’d you get into the Ravine then?”

He bends his knees, lets go of me, and covers his face a little. “I-I walked through the Monastery’s Sacred Path. I walked East for what I believe to be seven days u-”

I gently press my fist to David’s mouth. “Kid. Kid. One thing at a time. What’s this Monastery?”

“It’s where I was raised. It has all sorts of-”

I press my fist further against his lips. “Let me elaborate. Where is it?”

“Lombardy’s Eastern Peninsula.”

“Are you screwing with me?” I slide my fist up to his forehead. “Or are you just delirious from the Boundary?” I reach back into my satchel and offer him an old stick of blues. It’s cold and hard as a brick and there’s some fabric stuck to it, but it’ll still work just as well if you let it sit on your tongue for a while. “Eat some of this. It’ll keep you from getting sick.”

“A-are you offering me drugs!?” David pivots back and keeps his knife close to his chest.

“Yes. Calm down. Everyone who spends time in the Boundary uses blues. You have to. If you really spent a week in the Boundary without any blues, I’m surprised you’re still able to walk - let alone form coherent sentences.” I chuck the stick of blues at him. “Suck on this before you pass out.”

“I’m fine.” David shakes his head and politely hands me back the stick. “Big boys don’t use drugs.”

“Okay.” I stash the stick back in my bag and finally reach the doors of The Tavern. The faint smell of grease, smoke, and iron fill my head. The tall iron doors vibrate from all the noise inside. I can even feel my ribcage start to rattle a little bit just by standing next to the place. Must be jousting night. I kick the door open and am about to head in when I feel David pull on my arm. Again. “What is it now?”

“Can’t we go somewhere quieter and less… scary?”

“Do you want food or not?”

Before David can respond, his stomach lets out this disgusting growl. Damn near thought a badger was going to burst out of his belly. “Yes please…”

“Then get in.” I hold the door open for him with my foot. “My treat.”

The Tavern looks like any other tavern, but is far more spacious. Sure you have the typical bar counter, tables along the walls, and tired staff, but you also have a huge pit in the center of the place where you can watch people fight it out. There’s no hatred or anger in the pit. Just good, dirty, bloody fighting. It’s one of the few things that makes me smile here. It’s all packed to hell towards the pit. Rows upon rows of sweaty bodies yelling for blood and chucking table scraps into the ring. I’d shove my way to the front of the spectators if I didn’t have to babysit… There’ll be other joust nights I’m sure.

My eyes hover to the left and see that the bar counter’s mostly empty. “Kid, follow me.” I head over to the counter, sit down next to a old man who has his face buried in a plate of mashed potatoes and gravy next to a half-empty mug. He’s still alive, just passed out. I can hear his snoring through the potatoes. In front of me is a small window into the kitchen. There’s some staff relaxing by the table and cleaning some cutlery. Kitchen looks damn near immaculate. Doesn’t look like it belongs anywhere near here. To the right of the window is some green curtains dressing up a doorway to the kitchen. There’s three knives stuck in them. Not sure that’s sanitary, but I’m not a cook.

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David pulls up a seat next to me and actually takes a while to seat himself properly. The chair’s too tall for him… It’s like watching a puppy trying to climb a staircase. It’d be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic. He coughs and holds his throat for a while. His eyes get red and watery and his pale cheeks grow pink.

“Waitress.” I pound on the counter. “Three mist beers!”

A few seconds pass and I see a waitress strut out of the curtains. Big eyepatch over her left eye. Metal arm. Frizzy hair. Older. Heavy. Dark skin. Smoking a stick of blues. Good ol’ Martha. “Heey, Astrid.” She takes a deep inhale and coughs. “Good to see you’re still kicking.” She looks left and right. “What happened to the other Mistwalkers you had with you?”

“Half of them got stupid. Half of them got greedy.” I yawn and rub my shoulder.

“Ah, bummer. Maybe you’ll get a better batch next time.”

“Hopefully.” I reach into my satchel and lay Rookie’s dog tag out on the table. “I found this off one of the bodies. Could you make sure it reaches his next of kin?”

“Lemme see.” Martha picks up the tags. “I know this address. Yeah, this won’t be hard to ship. I’ll get it to where it needs to go no problem.”

“Thanks, Marth.” I lean on the counter and look down at Martha’s metal arm. Looks way shinier than normal. Looks like the elbow and bracing around the shoulder’s been reinforced too. “That’s a new looking piece. Where’d you get it?”

“You know that archaeologist that just moved in?” Martha stuffs the dogtag in her back pocket and sits on the counter. “The one digging around in the castle keep?”

“Yeah. What about him?”

“His son’s a mechanic. Managed to patch me and the boys up pretty good. Why ask? Did you bust your hand up again or something?”

“You could say that.” I pop off my left hand and look at Martha through the hole in the palm.

“Aaah!” David’s voice goes through three octaves and he falls off his stool the second I take my left hand off. “Astrid! What happened to your hand!?”

“Pffft.” Some laughter escapes me and I bang on the counter. “Relax. It’s a prosthetic. See?” I lean over and dangle the hand in front of his face. “Oooooh. Look out. The hand’s gonna getcha.”

“Stop teasing me.” David swats my hand away, rubs his back, and gets back onto the stool. “I’m not scared of ghost hands… I’m not a kid.”

“Sure.” I look back at Martha and plop my hand on the table. “Think you could take it into shop tonight?”

“That depends.” Martha wiggles her singed eyebrows.

“Come on, Marth.”

“Nothing in life is free, sweetie.” Martha giggles.

I sigh and chuck the small mist stone I looted off the body onto the table. “This good enough?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Martha’s eyes light up as she picks up the stone and gazes at it. “Ooooh… This one’s a beauty.” Martha takes my hand and stores it under the counter. “I’ll have this puppy brand new tomorrow morning. Just you wait.” She stretches her back and takes another deep puff. “Food’s on me the rest of the week just for that.”

“Now that’s more like it.” I lean back in my seat and cross my arms.

“Got anything else to pawn off?” Martha asks.

“Yeah, actually.” I hand her Gramps’ ring and the jaws of goop. “Know anyone who can use this goop and ring?”

“Hmmm…” Martha sloshes the jars around. “Yeah…. I think one of the scientists here is interested in this. As for the ring,” she grins and puts the ring on her finger. “I can offer you a free room for the night. Need to stay?” Martha blows some smoke at me and I happily inhale it. “Looks like your new slave might crap himself if he tries to sleep at either of the inns.”

“S-slave!?” David nearly falls off his stool again, but manages to catch himself on the counter. “I’m not a slave! My name is David! I’ve hired Astrid as my own personal bodyguard!”

“Uh… huh…” Martha looks back at me. “If you ever need to pawn him off, I know a duchess in Lombardy that’s always looking to add another to her collection. She likes ‘em bratty.”

“Really now?” I glance towards David and grin. “How much?”

“Bout 8,000.” Martha takes another hit.

“That doesn’t sound like a bad idea.”

“A-astrid…” David’s arms shake and he points his butterknife at me again.

Martha and I erupt into laughter and pound the counter again. “Bwahahaha! Aaaw relax, kid. I’m just pulling your leg.” I wipe my eye. “You should’ve seen the look on your face. Priceless.” I take a deep breath and rest my hand on my stomach. “Anyway, Martha, can you get us some beers and the usual? I’m starving.”

“Coming right up, darling.” Martha heads back into the kitchen and leaves us alone at the counter.

I fish around in my satchel. Map’s gotta be in there somewhere. I see David scowling at me out of the corner of my eye. At least I think he’s scowling. He looks like a baby owl that just ate a rotten mouse. “You alright?”

“No! I am not alright! Were you really about to sell me off to a noble!?”

“Relax, kid. It was just a joke. Take it easy.” I feel a metal tube in my satchel. Strong. Rough around the edges. Got some grooves around the center to help with the grip. There it is. I pull out a metal tube, place it on the table, and zip my bag back up.

“How is joking about selling a child funny?”

“Are you kidding me? You ever try messing with a kid? It’s low effort combined with maximum payoff. That crap’s hilarious. You should try it sometimes.”

“You have an utterly despicable sense of humor…” David rests his chin on the table.

“Haha yeah. The Boundary will do that to ya.” I poke him with the end of the tube. “Unscrew this for me.”

“Why can’t you do it?”

I move to poke his cheek with my stump hand.

David recoils. “Okay okay! Just please don’t poke me with your stump.” he unscrews the cap off the tube and draws away from my stump.

“Good boy.” I chuckle and tip the tube over. A rolled up map falls out and unrolls neatly on the counter in front of me. I scratch my head with my stump and start examining the map. The map depicts a continent surrounded by mist on all sides. The continent has a hole shrouded in mist in the center of it. Looks like if a bat and a donut had a child. The frigid, icy mountains to the North are shared by the Free Range, Athesian Empire, and the Lombard Kingdom. The hole in the center is known as the Mediterannean. It was once Caldesian territory, but ever since mist settled in, no power has dared to claim it. To the West is a land full of lush meadows and long, fertile rivers. The Athesian Empire occupies the land North of the Fortuna River and West of the Mediterranean. Its size and strength is rivaled only by the Lombard Kingdom to the east. Few rivers, plenty of featureless plains, but lush forests and lakes keep the region well irrigated. On the eastern end of the Kingdom is a little peninsula that houses the Monastery, a cultural and religious epicenter for all Lombards. To the Southeast lies the United Principalities, a group of tribes that have banded together to brace the harsh desert that live in. What the desert lacks in water, it makes up for with powerful artifacts and plentiful minerals. South of the Fortuna River lies the Caldesian Federation; the worst political dumpster fire to ever blight the continent. The Caldesians once ruled the continent half a millenia ago, but after constant wars, infighting, terrible management, and a surge of nationalism across the land, the rest of the continent broke apart and formed the countries we know today. In order to keep the Caldesians from getting any bright ideas, every nearby power sends supplies and money to keep the union engaged in civil war. It’s a true shame. I hear their climate is always pleasant. I would love to hike through their mountains and hear they have some amazing food, but it’s gotta be done. National security and all that.

“What are you doing?” David takes a deep breath and looks at the map around my shoulder.

“Plotting a route. Shut up.” I’d like to cut through the Mediterranean… but I’m not sure how the weather’s going to be. No way in hell am I going up the Range.

“Um… if you don’t mind me asking… where exactly are we?”

I point to the western tip of the world. Towards the center, but a little bit South. Right on the border of Athos and Caldesia. “Dead End’s here.”

“Oh… oh that’s why you didn’t believe me…”

“And where exactly did you say you walked from again?”

David points to a little peninsula on the eastern end of the world.

“You sure you’re not hallucinating.”

“I’m certain.” David nods.

“How the hell did you deal with the Mirages then?” I rub my stub.

“Promise you’ll believe me?” David pries his eyes off the map for a second to look at me.

“I’ll do my best.”

“Mirages don’t go after me. Not even Class Bs or Class As.”

“Except for the one that ate you.”

“Indeed... haha…” David rubs the back of his head. “Thank you again for saving me…”

“Yeah. Mind telling me why the hell you’re even still alive? No one’s taken a nap in the stomach of a Mirage and lived to talk about it.”

“I’m not sure…” David shakes his head and focuses his gaze back at the map. “All I know is that I found the stone in its stomach before I fell asleep.”

“Really now…? Fascinating.”

“What’s so fascinating about that?” David coughs and rubs his eye.

“That means that wasn’t that mirage’s stone. It must have eaten some other mirage’s stone… but that just raises more questions.”

“Why?”

“Mirages ain’t cannibals. They’d eat sewage before turning on one of their own.” I look down at the map. “Something catch your eye?”

“Yes… the map detail is exquisite. Where did you acquire it?”

“My college gave it to me upon graduating. The footnotes are from yours truly though.” I tap along a wall of text along the outer border of the map.

“Wow…” David’s eyes scan the map all over. “How are we going back home?”

“Well we start wi-”

Martha comes out of the kitchen with three tall beers in one hand and two deep bowls of pork and noodles in the other and plops them in front of David and I. Suddenly, hunger hits my stomach. The smell of hot broth and spicy pork are the only two things I can still smell here. I lean in to give the bowl a deep sniff and feel some crust melt off my mind.

David leans in to look down at the bowl. The bowl’s twice the size of his head. “Is there meat in here?”

“Hell yeah there is.” I rub my hand and my stump together.

“Now hold on a minute, Assie.” Martha reaches under the counter and plops a gauntlet next to my bowl. Wrist part looks just wide enough to fit my arm and has a sizable fork affixed on the other end. “Made it just for you. I call it the Noodle Buster.”

“That’s what I’m talking about.” I grab the arm and fit it over my stump. Fits like a custom made glove. It’s comfy on the inside too. “Feels like paradise.” I run my fingertips over the side. “What’s this button for?”

“Why don’t you find out?” Martha says before taking a sip from her beer mug.

I tap the button and the fork begins to rotate. Fast enough to ensure a steady supply of noodles, yet slow enough to make sure no noodles get lost in the broth. Perfection. “Can’t thank you enough.”

“Damn right.” Martha wipes her mouth with her arm. “Now come on. Let’s toast!” She raises her mug.

“Here here.” I raise my mug to hers and tap it.

David just sits there with his hands folded neatly on the counter. “Yes?”

“Don’t be rude, kid.” I poke him with the Noodle Buster. “If someone gives you food and calls a toast, you raise that toast.”

“But I don’t like meat…”

“Then take the meat out and put it in my bowl.”

“Oh. Right… I can do that. Sorry.” David picks up the mug with both his hands and holds it against our mugs. “What exactly are we toasting to?”

“To a safe journey.” Martha smiles at me.

“To a safe journey.” I smile and we bonk our mugs against each other. Some beer spills into my bowl, but that just makes it better. Martha and I take a deep swig and wipe our mouths. “Still as good every time.” I pound my chest and rest the mug back on the counter.

Martha looks to my left and narrows her glare. “What are you waitin’ for? Drink.”

David puts the mug down and slouches back in his seat. “I-I can’t drink. I’m too young. I don’t want to get in trouble.”

“Relax, kid.” I rub my shoulder. “You’re not going to get in trouble.”

“Still… I do not want to give into peer pressure. The abbot warned me about peer pressure.”

“Kid…” I rub the fork against my temple. “Just shut up, be polite, and take a sip. I’ll drink the rest, okay?”

“Okay…” David gulps, wraps his hands around the mug once more, and puts the mug to his lips. Almost immediately he slams the mug back down and erupts into a coughing fit. “HACKGACKHACHORK! That’s awful! Why are you two drinking that!?”

“Haha. Ahh…” I feel my chest deflate. “You’ll understand when you’re older.” I take another deep sip. “Let’s eat.” I dig the Noodle Buster into the bowl, shove a mouthful of greasy pork and thick noodles into my mouth, and feel my insides get warm. Real warm. The kind of warm that makes you want to sleep. Meanwhile, David carefully places chunks of pork into my bowl. Poor kid… he needs the meat more than any of us… and yet he denies it. Why? His frame is so tiny. I feel as if he would be blown away if left outside too long.

“So… Astrid.” David slowly slides his mug next to mine. “How are you planning to get me back to Lombardy?”

I slurp down noodles, and more noodles, and more noodles.

“Astrid?”

I continue consuming noodles.

“Astrid? Please?”

I swallow the noodles and broth and wash it down with two swigs of beer. “Kid.” I pound my mug against the counter. “Wait till I’m done eating. Okay?”

“Yes, ma- Astrid. Sorry.” David’s stomach rumbles. “I suppose I should eat too… It is a sin to waste food.” David picks up a fork with his left hand, rests his right hand on his lap, and finally begins eating.

Martha looks down at the map in silence. I can see her eyes trailing back and forth between Dead End and Lombardy.

I keep eating and eating and eating. Got a real thick piece of pork that refuses to be broken down. No matter how much I chew, it won’t break apart. I just spit it back in the bowl and keep moving on. Eat eat… I can’t take it anymore. I swallow some pork, wash it down with copious amounts of beer, and turn to David. “Kid. Put your hands on the counter when you eat.”

“Hm?” David’s eyes grow wide. “Why?”

“You hiding something? Mixing a poison? Preparing to stab me?”

“N-no of course not.”

“Then put your hands on the counter.” I tap the counter with the Noodle Buster. “Don’t be rude.”

“Yes, Astrid.” David rests his free arm on the counter. “I must be honest… I was not expecting Athesians to care so much about manners.”

“Really now?” I grin. “What were you expecting an Athesian to be like?”

“Oh… Um… you know…” David refuses to look me in the eye. “All… rawr! Blood! Battle! Me like fighting! Me like raiding! Blood for blood gods!”

“He ain’t wrong.” Martha takes another sip.

“Shut up.” I shake my head and take a deep breath before gulping down the rest of the broth and pork residue out of my bowl. I finish, wipe my mouth, and finish my beer. I slide the empty mug to Martha and bring David’s beer close to me.

“May we discuss our itinerary now?” David asks before slurping up some noodles.

“Sure.” I take another hearty swig. My head still hurts… Beer’s not doing its job. “Hey, Martha. How’s the Mediterranean lately? Hear anything?”

“Heard some Corrupted managed to sneak out and raid some encampments. The mist there’s been really irregular lately. Can’t really get a reliable forecast.”

“Dammit…” I rub my temple. “I assume that means the gondolas are down too?”

“Indeed they are. Not only are they down, the lines got cut. Some traders say a Class A devoured the gondola lines whole.”

“Come on…” I press the mug to my lips and down half of it in one go.

“Hey now, cheer up.” Martha pats my head. “Maybe they’re wrong. Maybe it’ll be fixed by the time you get there.”

“Sure hope so. The U.P.’s can’t be too happy about that.”

“Gosh no. Heard they’re dumping anyone they can into fixing that asap. They’re hiring prisoners, hunters, and anyone stupid enough to run in there.”

“How’s the Federation?”

“It’s not the Federation anymore.” Martha cackles. “Just heard they’re now an absolute monarchy. Again.”

“I’m sure that’ll last.” I laugh and take another chug. “Have they calmed down at all though?”

“Nope. Insurrections and rebellions are still pretty common; especially around the border. Heck, I’m even holding a shipment of weapons for some separatists right now.”

“Which group of separatists? The Athesian backed ones, the Lombard backed ones, or the U.P. shills?”

“Whichever one gets here first.” Martha cackles again.

I sigh and rub my temple. Face is starting to feel light and my head feels warm. Finally. “We really should just annex that place already… Damn savages can’t rule themselves.”

“It’ll fix itself eventually.” Martha finishes her drink, wipes her mouth, and puts her mug on the counter. “Might as well profit before all the crazies kill each other.”

“Amen to that.”

“Ahem…” David clears his throat. “The itinerary?”

“Sssh…” I put the Noodle Buster to his lips. “Ssshshsh… the adults are talking.” I turn back to Martha. “So… you’re telling me the only option is up through The Free Range and through Lombardy?”

“So it would seem. Unless you feel like making a trip through the U.P.s.”

I groan, shake my head, and chug down the rest of the beer. “Lombardy it is…”

“What’s wrong with Lombardy?” David wipes his mouth with a handkerchief that looks cleaner than anything in here has a right to be.

“Lombards are assholes.”

David says nothing. He just nods, looks away from me, and eats more noodles.

I take another look at my map, trace my finger along the optimal path a few times, then take another sip. I don’t know if it’s because of the way I drink… but beer always seems to hit me all at once… “Hey. Hey, kid. Look here. Are you listening?”

“Yes.” David swallows his noodles. “I am listening.”

“Okay. So.” I put my finger on a little place in Southwest Athos. “We’re here right now.” My finger begins trailing east. “We’ll take a ferry east on the Fortuna River up to around here. Then we go northeast through some disputed territory and arrive at the Mediterranean. If everything goes well, then we cut across to the U.P.s. If stuff is still broken, then we head north up to the Free Range. We then head east then southeast through Lombardy, and get to your little Church. How’s that sound?”

“That sounds simple enough.” David smiles. “How long will it take?”

“A month at most if the Mediterranean gondolas are working.”

“And if it isn’t?”

“Four months at most.”

David deflates into his stool. “Are you sure there’s no faster way?”

“You’re free to find another bodyguard.” I shrug and lick some residue booze off the mug.

A soul-wretching screech erupts from the Pit and everyone in The Tavern goes wild. People bash mugs together. They cheer, flip chairs, and get into minor scuffles.

“W-what just happened?” David nearly falls out of his seat.

“Someone just got really, really rich.” Martha smirks and crosses her arms.

A disembodied finger flies out of the crowd and lands on David’s shirt. It tumbles down his stomach like an old raisin before resting on his lap. “A-astrid…” David begins crying and closes his eye. “Please…”

“Yeah yeah…” I flick the finger off his lap and tap his head. “It’s gone.”

“T-thank you…” David takes a deep breath and rubs his eye. “When do we depart?”

“That depends.” I turn to Martha. “When’s the next ferry out of here?”

“Round ten tomorrow. Your hand will be ready by then. I promise.”

“Good to know.” I yawn and stretch my arms. “I’m exhausted… mind if we use your room tonight? I don’t feel like dealing with either of the inn owners right now.”

“Not at all, darling.” Martha smiles. “You’re always welcome.”