Lone Moon / 2 /1207 A.F.

Seth’s family and my family meet in a little park on the outskirts of the Capital. I don’t think I’ve been to this park since I was eight… dunno why we stopped. I always remembered having a good time here. Fed some ducks, sparred with ma, and even made some beetles fight each other with some kids. Good times. There’s a sizable serene pond, a few trees scattered about, and a massive hill that casts shade all throughout the park through half of any given day. The air’s pretty clean too. None of the smog from the mines or factories makes it up here. The northern wind always blows it away.

We’ve been here for about four hours so far. Seth and I are just sitting by the pond chucking biscuit pieces at the ducks. Our das have been off hunting local boars and my ma’s been trying to get Seth’s ma to spar for the past twenty minutes. Seth’s ma looks… different since the last time I saw her. Looks more pale and about twenty pounds lighter. She looks rather tired as well and has this thick blanket over her shoulders.

“Hey, Seth?”

“Yeah?” he nails a duckling in the back of the head with a biscuit piece and profusely apologizes to the small thing.

“Is your ma alright? She’s not looking too hot.”

“She’s fine.” Seth responds without looking back at me. “She just fell into venbrush during a job.”

“If you say so… Did she bring some meatloaf at least?”

“Nope.” Seth shakes his head and refuses to look back at me. “We didn’t have time. Managed to mash a bunch of potatoes though.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” I eat the last biscuit I have. “Any idea how much longer till our das get back?”

“They said they’d be back in forty minutes…”

“How much time has passed?”

Seth looks up at the sky. “Uuuh… about thirty?”

“That’s more than enough time.” I rest my head on his shoulder. “Wanna sneak in a quick spar before they come back? Winner gets first cut at the pig.”

“You’re on.” Seth takes a deep breath, finally smiles, and chucks his remaining biscuits into the pond. “Weapons or barehanded?”

“I’m feeling bare today.” I get up and crack my knuckles.

“I like the attitude.” Seth leads me back to the area besides the picnic table. Both our mas are now sitting at the table nursing some hot tea. Why tea? Didn’t they have anything better to drink?

“Ma?” Seth sounds like he’s ten for a half second. “Me and Astrid are gonna spar. Would you like to be the referee?”

Seth’s ma takes a quick sip of tea and opens her mouth only to be interrupted by a fit of violent coughing. The kind of coughing where you lurch over and grab your stomach. The kind of coughing that makes your throat turn inside out. The kind of coughing that makes you want to rip out your throat just to feel some kind of relief. Seth and my ma gently rub her back and attend to her while I just stand there. Not like I could help at all. She already has two people helping her. I’d just get in the way.

I keep standing there for an entire minute until Seth’s ma finally calms down. Her eyes are watery. Her nose is runny. Her face is bright red and her hand is trembling. “Are you okay?”

“Yes…” Seth’s ma rests her hands over her head, closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath. “Just some tea went down the wrong pipe.”

“Are you certain?” Seth asks with his hand still on his ma’s shoulder.

“I’ve already told you.” Seth’s ma holds Seth’s hand for a second before taking it off her shoulder. “I’m fine. Venbrush just needs a few more days to leave my system. I’ll be fine in no time.”

“If you say so…” Seth takes a deep breath and looks at my ma. “Are you okay with refereeing then?”

“It’d be my pleasure.” Ma chugs down the rest of her tea and claps her hands. “How many rounds we going? What rules are in place?”

Seth looks back at me. “What sounds good to you?”

“How about till one of us concedes or until one of us can’t stand?” I begin stretching my arms.

“The usual then.” Seth smiles, turns to me, and begins stretching as well. “Are face shots forbidden?”

“Hell no. You think I’m some kind of coward?”

“Just wondering.” Seth chuckles and steps backwards until he’s ten paces away from me. “Ready?”

“Ready.” I stand upright and take a firm, wide stance. Bend the knees just right and keep my shoulders loose.

“Very well.” Ma stands up and raises her hand. “Three. Two. One. Begin!” she throws her arm down.

I immediately go in for a straight lunge to the solar plexus. No good. Seth slides to the side and knees me in the gut. Seth goes for his typical left hook follow up, I duck under and headbutt his chin. He stumbles back. I try to follow up with a roundhouse kick, but he just grabs my leg the same way he always does and makes me fall to the ground. Calling it now. He’s going to try to jump on me and- yep. Called it. He just leapt towards me. Now I’m going to kick up and land a good kick to his chest and reset us back to neutral. We get up and continue pummeling each other like we always do. We keep falling for feints, hits, and plays we’ve each seen a million times. We don’t keep falling for them because we don’t learn. We keep getting hit because we’ve learned everything about each other. Every counter, every grab, every punch. I have his exact kick, punch, and grab range memorized by heart and so does he. If we fought seriously, we’d never get any good hits in and nobody wants to see that. Yet even when we’re letting each other get hits in, I can never seem to land a straight lunge on him no matter how fast I move. I’ll get him with a good lunge one of these days. I swear it.

Until then, we’ll just keep fighting and fighting and fighting. Punch for punch. Kick for kick. Grapple for grapple. Even though I’ve fought him more times than I can count, it’s still as fun as ever. I almost feel like calling this fighting does it a disservice. There’s something more to it. Something more raw. More emotional. Something deeper. I can’t put my finger on it, but I know this isn’t just fighting.

We keep swinging, kicking, and grabbing until we just plop onto the ground as usual and stare up at the cloudy sky. I feel like I wanna vomit. My right eye’s all bruised and swollen again, and it’s a little hard to hear. I must look like a two week old banana by now. Not that Seth looks any better mind you. Dude looks like he just fell down a mountain.

“Aaaw come now!” Seth’s ma cheers. “Seth! You’re not done yet! I know you have more in you!”

“C’mon, Astrid!” Ma roars. “Show that weakling who’s boss! Stand up! I didn’t raise no quitter!”

“Seth!” Seth’s ma suppresses another cough and continues. “If you stand up now, I’ll make meatloaf when you get home.”

“I’m trying!” Seth laughs. “Astrid banged up my kneecaps pretty bad.”

“Aaw. That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard you say.” I chuckle before groaning and clutching my chest.

“Astrid!” Ma keeps yelling. “You can do this!”

“I know I can but… oooh… my breast feels like jelly.”

“Aw whoops.” Seth winces. “Sorry bout that. Didn’t mean to bang them up that bad.”

“Don’t apologize.” I wince and rub my scarred chest. “I shoulda been more careful. Wanna call it another draw?” I extend my bloody left hand to Seth.

“Deal.” Seth takes a deep breath, shakes my hand once, then plops his hand down onto mine and lets it rest in the grass. I can barely open my hand and neither can he. His hand feels so strong, but so gentle. The strength of a true Athesian, but the softness of a scholar. He’s going to make a damn fine hunter. Maybe he’ll be as good as me.

We continue lying in the grass much to the chagrin of our mas’ with our fingers intertwined. “Hey, Astrid?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you...” Seth closes his eyes and sighs with a small, content grin.

“For what? You some kind of masochist or something?”

“Nothing like that… Just... thank you for everything. Never change.”

Wander Moon / 4 / 1218 A.F.

We gathered our things and continued Northwest towards Frigus. The flat plains give way to uneven hills lined with harsh ice and soft snow. Packs of yappers, hares, lone moose, foxits, and scarlet pinecones are the few hardy lifeforms that fill the frozen wasteland. We pass some frozen ponds on the way and can see some travelers skating on them. One tried to do a 720 and fell flat on their ass. Managed to get a good chuckle out of me. A little while later I manage to see a Lone Moose wandering towards a group of Yappers feasting on a carcass. The Yappers raise their tails and snarl, but the Lone Moose is unimpressed. It just stomps right through their group without a care in the world. The carcass is stomped under its mighty hoof. One Yamper decides to leap at the Moose’s leg in revenge. It bites and thrashes with all it’s might, but can barely hang on for a few seconds before falling by the wayside. The Lone Moose doesn’t even look bothered. I don’t think it knows those Yappers exist. Before long, it begins to approach a tall pine tree.

“Hey, David.” I nudge his leg with my foot. “Check that out.” I point out the carriage window.

“Hm?” he looks up from his notebook, but keeps his pencil pressed tight to the page. “Oh my gosh… that moose is so big… are all Athesian moose this big?”

“No. That’s a lone moose. You’ll find those all along the tundra of Athos, The Free Range, and Lombard. While they look like moose and we call them moose, they aren’t moose.”

“Then why do you call them moose?”

“They look close enough.”

The Lone Moose begins ramming its wide horns against the tree. Loud cracks and snaps echo through the frozen wilderness.

“Why is it doing that?” David flinches each time the moose bashes the tree.

“Wait for it.”

The lone moose fells the tree after five headbutts and begins feasting on it. Its razor teeth shred through the bark like a hot knife through butter. Its lanky, dripping tongue slides out of its mouth like a tentacle and begins sucking sap out of the inner recesses of the tree. The Lone Moose continues chomping and licking away at the tree like a rabbit would a carrot.

“That is terrifying…” David shivers.

“They are until you learn they’re herbivores.” I yawn and rub my stump to try and keep it warm.

“Ah, good for them.” David smiles and begins doodling a crude drawing of a moose into his notebook with some Lombard text beside it. I could probably read his notebook given enough time and if it wasn’t upside down. “Oh, Astrid. May I ask you a question?”

“You just did.” I smirk.

“May I ask you three questions?” David looks up from his notebook unimpressed.

“Sure.”

“That is a beautiful necklace you have on you. I notice you squeezing it from time to time. Where did you get it?”

I glance down and see that my hand is indeed resting on my necklace. “Made it myself…” my hand slides off the necklace and onto the seat beside me.

“I had no idea you were a jeweler.” David smiles and keeps looking at the necklace. “Have you made others?”

“No. This is the only one.” I look out the window.

“Aw. That is a shame. Why did you s-”

“Just drop it.” I close my eyes and feel my mouth tighten.

“Understood.” David frowns and nods. “Sorry to intrude…” he looks down and resumes writing in his book.

“What are you writing down by the way?”

“Everything I see on my pilgrimage.” David flips his notebook around to show me pages upon pages of Lombard text accompanied by many crude drawings. They aren’t offensive or bloody, just of poor quality. I can see drawings of four knights chasing a carriage with stick figure versions of me and him on it, me punching David onto the pavement, and Michael being thrown into the Fortuna River.

“Aaw…” my chest feels warm. “That’s kinda cute. What are you writing about the moose?”

“Everything you tell me.” David turns the notebook to the page with the moose drawing. “Can you not read Lombard?”

“Given enough time.” I roll my neck. “Never really have a lot of opportunities to practice writing, but I can manage speaking just fine.”

“I must say, your Lombard is quite good. I can hardly tell it is your second language.”

“Thanks. Would you believe me if I told you I nearly failed out of foreign language class?”

“What?” David closes his book and tilts his head. “Did you not graduate with straight As?”

“Nope. Just barely managed to get by with language.”

“Then how are you so good at Lombard?”

“Brute force and saying a lot of stupid stuff by accident.”

“That is incredible…”

“Not really. It was necessary.” I yawn again. “Can’t be good at something without first being bad at something.”

“I will have to write that down… that is a fantastic quote.” David opens his book and begins writing my words down. A few moments later, he opens up to a page full of Lombard text and shows it to me. “How much of this can you read off the top of your head?”

“Uh… hm… I know that says ‘big’, that line says ‘the foxes are so tiny and cute’, and that line at the bottom says ‘Astrid is so big and cool. I want her to squeeze me with her large arms.’”

“I-it does not! Where does it say that!?” David turns the book back towards him and begins looking through it fervently. “Hah! It doesn’t say that at all!”

“Hahaha! Yeah I know!” I lean my head back and let out a good laugh from the belly. “It says I’m scary, but useful.”

“Well… useful is a bit off. Dependable is a more accurate description.”

“What’s the difference?” I rub my nose.

“Useful implies I am using you. Dependable means I depend on you.”

“Fair enough.” That actually manages to get a smile out of me.

“Is that really all you could read?” David glances through his book.

“Just about.” I nod. “I could probably translate a whole page given enough time and my notes from school. I usually just have all my Lombard clients translate text for me.”

“Why do you not practice? Do you not like Lombard text?”

“Nope. Written Lombard sucks. It makes no sense.”

“What are you talking about?” David scoffs. “Our language is perfectly logical.”

“You have more exceptions than rules, your Y’s can sound like I’s, your E’s sound like Y’s, your vowels all sound like each other, and there’s no consistency to how your consonant clusters sound. I don’t know how anyone learns that.”

“Really?” David peruses his notebook and laughs. “Huh… indeed they are. I never realized that. In all fairness, Athesian has its dumb aspects as well.”

“Like what?”

“It is all logographic.” David shakes his head. “I can never sound out anything.”

“You just memorize the pronunciations and you’re fine. It’s only hard for little kids, but adults manage just fine.”

“Really? How many pronunciations does the character for ‘war’ have?”

“... Five. No, six.”

“Uh huh. And how do I know how to pronounce it?”

“... Fair point.” I cross my arms. “You can still manage to read just fine without knowing the pronunciations.”

“How many characters does Athesian have?” David’s eyes narrow.

“Uh… At least a thousand. About two hundred of those are archaic though and you can get by with knowing only 190.”

“Lombard has 50 characters and only 25 are crucial.” David crosses his arms.

“Hey man. I didn’t design our languages. Language is dumb.”

“But endlessly fascinating…” David scribbles something in his notebook. “I remember seeing these two characters on top of a building at The Checkpoint. Let me try and get them right…”

“Take your ti-”

“Finished!” David turns his notebook around and I see the characters for ‘War’ and ‘House’. He butchered the stroke order and crossed out the characters for ‘Death’ and ‘Erotic’ next to the other characters. Huh… now that I see them side by side, the characters for ‘War’ and ‘Erotic’ are eeriely similar. “What do you think? What does it mean?”

I belch out a good laugh that slowly devolves into a coughing fit. Head starts to hurt a bit and my vision gets blurry again. I light up some blues and take a good hit before replying. “Those are the characters for ‘War’ and ‘House’. Together they mean ‘barracks’, but it could also mean ‘armory’ or ‘war room’ if you add the appropriate character before those.” I continue laughing.

“What’s so funny?” David flips the notebook back towards him. “Did I write them wrong?”

“Oh yeah. You butchered the stroke order. I could barely read it, but that’s not the funny part.”

“What is?”

“Barracks is a euphemism for ‘Sex House’ or brothel.”

“What is a euphemism?” David tilts his head and gets a closer look at the characters.

“It’s a phrase that secretly means something else. Kinda like a secret code or an inside joke.”

“Oooh that sounds fun.” David closes the book and smiles at me. “What is sex?”

I nearly keel over to suppress my laughter. “You’ll figure it out.”

“What? No no! Tell me!”

“Pay me.”

“Really?” David’s eyes sparkle. “How much?”

“Five million gold.”

“What!? No! Astrid! Tell me what sex is! It sounds important!”

I keep laughing and making up excuses until David finally gives up. We continue riding through the quiet tundra. Just as I’m about to nod off to sleep, I begin to think of home… the soft carpet, the warm fireplace, dad’s warm smile, mom’s apple perfume. It all comes flooding back into my mind.

“Hey, David. Do you have a spare pencil and something to write on?”

“Indeed I do.” David nods. “What do you need them for?”

“I want to write a letter.” I look out the window. “Haven’t spoken to my folks in a while… I wanna let them know I’m okay.”

“Of course.” David pulls out a thin book and pencil from his robe and hands them to me. “Why have you not been speaking to them? Did you get into a fight?”

“No… just… I kept getting busy and then the more I put it off, the more I got embarrassed.”

“Why would you get embarrassed over that?” David tilts his head. “I am sure your parents would always love to hear from you.”

“Yeah… guess so…” I take a deep breath. “Mind if I have some paper too?”

“Not at all.” David tears out a page from his book and hands it to me. “Is this enough?”

“That’ll do.” I take the paper, rest it on the book in my lap, and start writing.

Hey, Ma. Hey, Da. I know it’s been a while. Sorry about that. I meant to write more, but work just kept piling on. I assure you that I’m still alive. I actually managed to get out of Dead End for a while. I got a new job escorting a Lombard child back to the Monastery. It’s a little dangerous, but nothing I can’t handle. I’m finally getting some sunlight and eating well. I actually forgot how hot it could get sometimes. I’ve been soooooo sweaty. I’ve been well though. There’s no need to worry about me. I’m in good health and my left hand has been behaving. My nightmares aren’t as bad as they used to be either. I love you both very much… if it’s okay, can I come home for a visit after this job? I know it’s been a while. You can send me a letter at Frigus, Serenissima, or Dead End. If - no - WHEN I finish this job, I would love to come back home and see you guys again. I got a ton of stories to tell you guys. You two will have a field day from my Caldesian campaign stories. I love you both dearly.

Sincerely,

Astrid

I look down and read the letter over and over again. No matter how many times I read through it, I can’t think of anything to add. It feels so basic and even fake to read… I can only hope Ma and Da don’t feel that way. No, no. I can’t send this in. After all this time? No, I have to send them something longer. I have to include a nice gift with toffee or chocolate with it-

“Astrid.” David tilts his head. “Are you okay?”

I look up from the letter and see David swaying side to side in his seat. “Yeah… just thinking about tossing this draft out.”

“What? Why? Send it! I am certain your parents will love it.”

“It’s not as good as I wanted it to be. I need to revise it and make it longer.”

David shakes his head. “The Abbot always said revised letters are little more than lies. Letters are meant to communicate things from the heart. Revising a letter defeats its purpose.”

I feel my chest defrost and I begin to read over the letter once more.

Wander Moon / 13 / 1218 A.F.

Our carriage pulls over a tall hill. The wind is howling. The sun is setting. It’s getting colder by the second… but I can finally see Frigus in the valley below us. Rows upon rows of metal rooftops fill the valley. Steam and smoke rise from the city and warm the air around us. The white snow slowly turns grey as we approach Frigus. Carriages full of food from Serenissima, coal, and ore flood in through the city gates. In the carriage next to us, I can see some weary coal miners covered head to toe in dust and soot. Their eyes look dead, but they’re all sharing drinks and having a laugh. Except for the guy lying limp in the center of the carriage. I’m certain he’s just sleeping. Tall walls reinforced with steel guard the city from all angles. Encampments line the road up the Free Range to try and curtail the smuggling of scarlet into Athos. It isn’t working. I can see an empty vial laced with bright red residue on the roadside under a dead tree. Some owls are poking at it.

Stolen novel; please report.

We pass by a large fort armed to the teeth with cannons and ballistae: Fort Yukey. It lies along the Eastern edge of the empire where the Free Range and Mediterranean meet. It’s where all the lackluster recruits and soldiers who refuse to retire are sent. No mirages ever bother coming up this way and most Lombard forces would be frozen solid before they ever encounter that fort. It’s really just a hold over from when the Mediterranean used to be home to an empire. No one really knows the empire’s name and the only proof of their existence lies buried under armies of Mirages, Mist, and Corrupted. I managed to see some artifacts the army managed to recover in the National Museum at one point. They looked foreign, but familiar. Similar enough to Athesian architecture from the same time period, but just different enough to be unique. The few recovered weapons resembled Caldesian short swords and shields, but the armor and childrens’ toys resemble Lombard artistry. I would love to learn more, but I’m not crazy enough to go into the depths of the Mediterranean just for some pretty artifacts… Maybe once the corruption sets in - if I even live that long.

Regardless, Fort Yukey will remain as long as Athos lives. All the top brass and history nerds are too attached to let it go. I can’t blame them either. Just staring at the snow-covered walls of Yukey makes me feel so… insignificant. I feel like an ant looking up at a human. I will perish, the generations after me will perish, but that old fort will still be standing there in the tundra until the end of time. Hundreds of years of history are held in those old walls and it’s a poor shame that I will never be able to experience even a fraction of it.

The carriage comes to a sudden stop and David nearly falls out of his seat again.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

“They want documents.” Driver replies. “Get out.”

“Right right.” I yawn, pull a blanket off myself, and put it over the trunk and smaller deposit beside my seat. “David, come with me. Don’t say anything.”

“Okay…” David follows me out of the carriage and hangs onto the strap of my satchel.

I shut the door behind me and see four guards clad in Northern Guard armor. It’s pitch white, slender, and painful to look at in the sunlight. Underneath the plates, I can see layer upon layer of coats and heated cloth. They’re all wearing thick scarves over their faces and expose only their eyes. Each of them have hardy-looking hounds attached to leashes. One guard emerges from an entourage of bored-looking guards and walks up to me. Almost as tall as me and has these bright blue eyes that are almost as white as his armor. “Papers?”

I dig into my satchel and hand him my license.

“Hmm…” he looks through my license and flips through a few pages. “Looks legit. Everything checks out. Nice mistwalker stamps… Oooh Royal Academy. I went there to-” his eyes peer onto the page with my portrait. “Astrid? Is that you?”

I rack my brain trying to remember who this is, but nothing comes up. Even when he pulls his scarf down, I still remember nothing. “Yeah, it is.” I reach for my license.

“Whoa hang on now. Don’t tell me you don’t remember me.” The guard smiles and points to his face.

“No… sorry.” I scratch my stump. “I’m super tired right now… I can barely remember my own name.”

“Astrid?” A guard behind him leans on her lance. “Isn’t that the girl you had a crush on? The one with the big tits?”

“Emily!” The guard turns around and his voice cracks.

David and I laugh in unison before the guard turns back around to face us.

“Pardon the new recruit.” The guard’s cheeks turn pink. “She meant no disrespect.”

“Your words, not mine, chief.” Emily cackles.

“Regardless…” The guard clears his throat. “It’s me, Troy. You know? Your Lombard study partner?”

“Ooooh yeah! I remember you!” I lie.

“Yeeah there we go!” Troy says something in Lombard that I cannot comprehend.

“Haha yeah.” I reach for my license again.

“So how’s your Lombard coming along? You been practicing some more?”

“A little bit.” I nod. “Speaking’s a lot better than reading or listening, but it’s functional. Can I have my license back now?”

“Oh of course. Sorry.” Troy hands me back my license. “We just have to do a little search.” he pets the hound next to him. “Standard protocol around here.”

“Make it quick.” I raise my arms over my head and David does the same.

“Go on, boy.” Troy pets the hound’s head.

The hound begins sniffing David and I.

“So what brings you here anyway?” Troy keeps his eyes on the hound.

“Bringing a client to the Free Range.” I tilt my head to David. “Got kidnapped from his mom and I gotta bring him back.”

“Oooh nice.” Troy turns to David. “Kid, what’s your mom’s name?”

I feel my heart sink into my stomach.

“Abby.” David says without skipping a beat.

“Mmhm. I see.” Troy looks at David in silence for just a tad too long. “Anything to declare? What are you bringing in?”

“Just some cash and some blues. The usual.” I shiver.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Driver being asked the same questions and hounds sniffing up the carriage. My chest grows tight for a second. I don’t know if I’ll be able to fight these guards off if they see the stone and get greedy.

“I see…” Troy glances to Driver, then to me. The hound returns to his side and rubs his cheek against Troy’s leg. “Well, the hounds say you smell clean. You ever consider joining the North Guard? Your talents are wasted as a mistwalker.”

“It’s too cold here for me.” I wipe some black snow off my nose.

“You sure? I could refer you and you’d get an instant bonus.” Troy smiles. “Nihul could really use a woman of your talents.”

“Chief, just let her in.” Emily picks her ear clean. “I wanna go on my lunch break.”

“Hm?” Troy looks back at the clock on the city gate. “Oh my, it really is that time. Sorry to keep you.” he cups his mouth. “Open the gate! They’re clean!”

A burst of steam erupts from the top of the wall and the city gate lowers in an instant for us.

“Please at least consider it.” Troy, Emily, and the rest of his entourage begin to walk into the city with us. Driver whistles and calls their horses to follow us. Meanwhile, a fresh batch of troops walks past us outside the city gate.

“I will.” I yawn and stretch my arms in front of him. “Though a good meal and a new hand would really help convince me…”

“I’ll find the best Frigus has to offer.” Troy nods and runs off ahead of us. “Please wait at The Guild for my return. It is down the street to the right just before the fountain. Please put anything you like on my tab!”

Emily shakes her head and chuckles. “Did you have to play him that hard?”

“Is he always like this?”

“Only to women who are taller than him.” Emily sighs and the smile slowly evaporates from her lips.

“What drinks are good around here?” I bury my stump under my armpit just to keep it warm.

“Good for sleeping or good for getting stupid?”

“Both.”

“Frozen Apple’s my favorite. Sweet as honey and potent as a hammer to the noggin.”

“Sounds good.” My vision starts to get blurry again. I’m not even anywhere near mist and I’m not starving or about to pass out. It’s barely past noon and I’m almost through this pack. I reach into my satchel and light up another stick. “Want some?” I offer Emily my box.

“Do you need to smoke around the kid?” Emily raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah. I do.” I feel warmth spread across my lips and let out a big indigo cloud. “And the kid’s cool with it. Ain’tcha?” I rest my forearm on David’s head.

David suppresses a cough and nods.

Emily glances at David narrows her eyes at me. “I’ll pass. Thank you though.”

The inside of Frigus is only slightly warmer than the outside, though that’s mostly due to the buildings serving as nice barriers from the frigid wind. The streets are mostly desolate. No beggars, no trash, no street art on the walls. The most you’ll find is some puddles of sleet and small pockets of frozen horse dung, but those get cleaned soon enough. No fancy aqueducts. No gardens. No green. No soil. The fanciest thing in the city is a fountain in the town center. Even then, the fountain’s frozen shut half the time. Every bar, restaurant, and inn comes equipped with a fully functional forge and a water pump that can tap into the massive water reserve under the city. Each establishment must come equipped with a pump because going outside for water during the Winter is tantamount to suicide. Each building comes with a forge partly for the warmth they bring, partly because of how cheap weapons are to produce here. The mountainside to the east is rich with ore and the small distance between the mines and the city keeps prices low. The coal reserves to the Northwest also help power forges and keep our airships flying. Thanks to its proximity to resources and the Free Range; our best customers, Frigus is where a majority of all Athesian weapons are produced. If it wasn’t for the weather and terrain, it would easily be bigger than The Capitol in terms of size and population. Until the weather decides to warm up, the city will only be populated by the military, opportunistic entrepreneurs, coal miners, and devoted weaponsmiths.

In order to better cope with the winters and any possible invaders, there is an underground network of tunnels and roads that connect every establishment to each other. That’s where you’ll find the heartland of Frigus production. Small factories, farms, and even a school can all be found. In the Winter months, that’s where you will find most of the people. It can be accessed via a lift in any building, but I won’t be going down there. Partly because it absolutely reeks even for me. If you ever wanted to know what hot metal, pig dung, and smoke smell like all condensed in a cold box, the Frigus Underground is just for you. The other reason is that they don’t allow non-Athesians in. No way am I leaving David alone here.

If Serenissima is the Athesian child who everyone loves for their artistry, charisma, and good looks, Frigus would be the older child of equal skill who everyone ignores. Serenissima is bright and green. Frigus is dark and pale. Serenissima is loud and cosmopolitan filled to the brim with vibrant art and hot music. Frigus is quiet for all but the hammering of metal and the hum of machinery. Frigus is cold and uninviting, but also like a lone, little fire kindling in a wasteland. A bastion of warmth and life in an environment that shuns both. The people are cold and quiet, but a hell of a lot more honest than the rich bastards down in Serenissima. Yet both are essential to the Empire. Serenissima cannot flourish without Frigus’s production and materials and Frigus cannot survive without Serenissima’s food and transportation.

Ten minutes of walking later, we get to a pub called The Guild. Emily opens the door for us and the soldiers pour in.

Driver holds my shoulder back.

“Right.” I nod and face Emily. “Give us a few minutes.”

“Of course.” Emily enters the Guild and closes the door behind her.

Driver and I hop into the carriage while David stands guard.

“Alright. Let’s make this quick.” I toss the blanket off the trunk. “How much you want?”

“Something the size of my hand will do.” Driver pulls out a knife from their pocket and places the edge against the deposit. “Mind if I cut?”

“Go on ahead. Less for me to carry. You know how to cut those things?”

“Mmhm. Da used to do some mistwalking from time to time.” Driver begins carving a slice off the deposit. The blade never goes more than an inch deep and glides across the inside of the deposit. I can see mist seep out of the stone with every cut. Within seconds, Driver cuts a clean, smooth chunk off that’s as thick and tall as their hand.

“Well cut.” I open the trunk and barely manage to stuff the rest of the deposit in with the big stone. “Need anything else? Are we square?”

“We’re clean.” Driver extends their hand. “Pleasure doing business with you.”

I shake Driver’s hand. “Pleasure. Now get out. I need time with my horses.”

“With pleasure.” I sling the trunk onto my back and leave the carriage. Upon exiting, I can see David rub the back of his hand. He winces and his jaw trembles for a little bit.

Driver pats a horse on the butt and the carriage begins trotting away.

I tap David on the shoulder and lead him into The Guild. Warmth washes over my body as the door shuts behind us. The walls, roof, and floor are all plated with metal. No singers. No dancers. No bright candles or instruments around. Just an old bartender washing glasses, two miners covered in soot, and a young soldier sitting at the counter surrounded by empty beer glasses. It’s somehow quieter than it was outside. The entourage of soldiers escorting us all sit down at a separate table while Emily escorts us to the counter. We all sit down and wait for the bartender to stop washing dishes. He’s hardly a head taller than David, but has the thickest eyebrows I’ve ever seen on a human. I thought they were nests of caterpillars on his forehead at first glance. The soldier entourage talk amongst themselves, but it’s too quiet to be an indoor voice, yet too loud to be a whisper.

Eyebrows dries off the glasses and turns to Emily. “Aah, Emily. How are you, my child?”

“Pretty good, gramps.” Emily pats my shoulder. “I’m showing a Hunter around Frigus. She graduated from the Royal Academy.”

“Oooh.” Eyebrows scratches his cheek. “Pleasure to meet you.” he bows his head a little. “I graduated from there too about… how long was it again… sixty years ago!”

“Sixty?” I rest my arms on the countertop. “That can’t be right. You don’t look a day over thirty.”

Eyebrows erupts into a coughing fit before smiling and pointing at me. “I like you. What can I treat you ladies to?”

“Two Frozen Apples.” Emily coughs.

“Coming right up.” Eyebrows leans over the counter to look down at David. “What about the boy?”

“Just some warm milk if you have it.”

“Cow, pig, or goat?”

“Cow… please…” David recoils a little.

“Coming up…” Eyebrows winces and sucks in air through his teeth.

“Everything okay?” Emily asks.

“No… sorry, Emily. Could you be a dear and help me? My arthritis is acting up again.”

“Sure thing, grampa.” Emily gets up, goes around the counter, and starts preparing drinks with Eyebrows.

“You okay, David?” I rest my arms on the counter and rest my cheek against my forearm.

“No…” David shakes his head. “I want to go home… I am cold… and I am scared all the time.”

“You can only be brave when you’re scared. You’ll get used to it.” I close my eyes. “How are your hands?”

“My hands? Why do you ask?”

“They looked pretty mangled after our runin with the knights.”

“Oh, right…” David breathes in air through his teeth. “These will get better eventually. Some lotion would help though...”

I feel my neck relax and my arms start to get heavy. A few more seconds, and I’m bound to knock out. “Can you… shoot fireballs or something?”

“I could never. Destruction magic is sacrilege.”

“Have fun freezing then…” It’s getting hard to even breathe. Drool is starting to escape out the side of my mouth. I close my eyes.

“Are you worried about me?”

A figure appears in my sight. A tall, pale woman with white hair down to her knees. She looks mature, but her eyes look as if they have a millenia’s worth of wisdom. A warm smile spreads across her face as she stretches her arms out towards me. I have never seen this woman before. She gets close. Real close. Too close. Within a second, her face is touching mine. Her smile is still bright, but it feels like my soul is being sucked out through her eyes. Her hand touches my cheek and sends a jolt down my spine. My body shoots up, my eyes open, my knee collides with the underside of the counter, and I nearly fall out of my seat. “Bwah! Dammit!” I hunch over and rub my stump against my knee. “Son of a bitch…”

“Astrid! Are you okay!?” David places his hand on my back. “What happened?”

“You know when you’re about to fall asleep and it feels like you hit the ground? That.”

“Ooooh. I understand. I get that sometimes. Do you need an ointment for your knee?”

“Nah. A Frozen Apple should do the trick.” I sniff the air and feel the sweet smell of caramel, apple, and just a hint of cinnamon hit my nose.

“Can you drink a little less?”

“Do you want to get to Paradise or not?”

“Okay…” David rests his chin on the counter.

“Hey…” I pat his back with my right hand. “We had a rough trip so far. If you need to cry, I can listen.”

“I do not need to cry…” David shakes his head and puts his hands onto his lap. I can see his hands curl and tug at his robes. “Big… big boys don’t cry…” I see stains drop across the counter.

“Cut the crap.” I yawn and prop my head up with my stump while I continue rubbing David’s back. “Crying doesn’t make you weak.”

“I-I…” what little facade David put up gets blown open and snot and tears flood his face. “It was not supposed to be like this. I miss everyone… why did no one else come to help me? Does the clergy hate me? Am I annoying?”

I get the feeling I really shouldn’t be honest right now. “You’re not annoying. I’m sure they just got busy with something. They’re definitely looking for you right now as we speak.”

“I-I do not want to die… why is the Matriarch not helping me… what did I do…” David’s speech stops being intelligent and he just starts crying and blowing snot all over like; well, like a kid.

“Hey now… maybe she sent me to help you.” I try to smile.

David’s crying gets much louder.

“Aaaw what’s wrong here?” Eyebrows turns around and leans over the counter. “Why’s the young’in crying?”

“He misses his ma.” I pat David on the back.

“Aaaw… say no more. I got just the cure for homesickness.” Eyebrows bends under the counter and I hear some metal clanging.

Meanwhile, Emily comes back with two glasses of Frozen Apple and a tall glass of warm milk. “Aaaw…. poor baby.” Emily ruffles David’s hair and slides the glasses over. “Don’t worry. Your ma will be super happy when you come home. Come on. Drink some milk. You’re going to run out of tears if you don’t drink something.”

David nods and starts sipping on the milk. He stops crying, but keeps sniffling. That’s genius. Wish I could’ve thought of that.

“Here we are.” Eyebrows stands up again and lowers a plate full of pale brown cookies in front of David. “These are some of my family’s cookies. Made them just this morning. The recipe’s been passed down through five generations.”

“Grandpa that’s no-”

“Ssssh!” Eyebrows waves his hands. “They’re filled with a magic sugar that makes all your wishes come true. I gathered them from the tallest point on the Free Range in my youth for just such an occasion like this. Go on. Have a bite.”

David nods, dunks the entire cookie in milk, and devours it whole. He munches it with his mouth open and gets some milk on the counter. He perks up immediately, dunks three more cookies into the milk, and shoves them into his mouth within seconds.

“Whoa whoa easy there.” I pull the plate of cookies away from him. “Don’t need you choking.”

David starts coughing some chunks of cookie onto the counter.

“Damnit.” I pat his back. “Hands above your head and breathe.”

David beats his chest, takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, chews, then swallows. “Thank you… all of you…” he wipes his eyes with his sleeve and washes down the cookies with milk.

“How’d you like them?”

“They are good… really, really good…” David sniffs and puts the glass of milk down.

“Glad to hear it.” Eyebrows smiles. “Though, I didn’t get to tell you the magic trick. You have to say your wish aloud before you eat a cookie or else it won’t come true.”

“O-oh… I am so sorry. Please pardon me.”

“Don’t worry none.” Eyebrows cackles, takes a cookie off the plate and starts munching on it. “Plenty more to go round.”

“Astrid, do you want to make a wish?” Emily offers me a cookie.

“Uh… sure.” I take the cookie and look at it. Looks completely plain. Pale in some places. Brown in some others. Looks cheaply made. Can’t tell if it’s crunchy or soft. Dunno what’s in it either…

“Well go on. Make your wish.” Emily smiles.

“I’m getting to that. Lemme think.” I stare at the cookie. My mind’s blank. Anything I would’ve wished for is gone. Not like wishing for things would do anything. Didn’t help in the past. Not gonna help now.

David’s voice cuts through my thoughts like a machete. “I wish for Astrid to find happiness.” he holds the cookie to his forehead for a moment before devouring it.

I feel as if I’ve been skinned and turned inside out. My cheeks twitch, my chest feels hollow, and the outer rim of my vision grows blurry. “I wish for you to return home safely.” I open my mouth and feel the cookie hit my tongue. It tastes like home. I wash the cookie down with some Frozen Apple. It’s amber brown, has an apple slice encased in an ice cube in it, and reeks of cinnamon. It’s smooth and spicy. I feel liquid warmth spread across my chest. My head grows cool and my heart grows warm. My tongue burns, but that only makes me want it to eat more. The four of us eat, drink, and talk. Just. Talk. About the most mundane things. What our favorite colors are, cute animals we saw, the best meals we’ve had. It was so… normal. I’m smiling, but my face feels so numb. My eyes are leaking tears, but I’m not crying. At least, I don’t think I am. Why would I be crying? What reason would there be? If I am crying, no one is noticing… some things never change.

Troy eventually comes back to The Guild with a bulky man donning a bright scarf all around his neck and shoulders. It looks like you could choke out a horse with it. He’s also carrying this big orange box with him. Looks heavy enough to demolish a skull in a single hit. We’ve been talking for so long, and yet it only felt like five minutes. He gives me a parchment with directions to our lodging and insists that it’s already been paid for. Troy and Scarf sit down beside me and Emily and join in on the conversation. Emily leans her head on Troy’s shoulder, but Troy doesn’t even seem to notice. He’s still smiling and chatting away. David looks back to normal too. Just hope he doesn’t get a stomachache. I’m not dealing with that right now.

Scarf pulls up a seat on my left side and puts his box on the counter. He opens it up and I can see a collection of metals, tools, and hand frames. “Do you mind if we start?” He takes my stump and leans in close to it. His hands are large, but his grip is so gentle. His hands are smoother than David’s face. “You won’t even know I’m here.”

“Please do.” I start downing another Frozen Apple. “Do you need to know any information?”

“No. I know exactly what you need. Your arm tells me more than your words ever could.” Scarf runs his thumb over my stump and begins searching through his box.

I turn back to the little party and finish my drink. “Hey, Eyebrows. Mind if I get another? That was damn good.”

“Eyebrows.” Eyebrows cackles. “That’s a good one… Don’t think I ever heard that one before. Nope. No never ever. Completely unique nickname.” he refills my drink.

The rest of the evening was a blur. The Frozen Apples were a tad stronger than anticipated and time just melted away. I feel warm. Inside and out. My face hurts from smiling. Alas, all good things must come to an end. Eyebrows showed David and I to the door and closed up shop. I still have the full trunk on my back and the paper Troy gave me so I’m good. Scarf even managed to give me a new hand while I was getting drunk. It’s so… plain looking. Though that could just be me being drunk off my ass. I actually fell flat on my face when I first left my stool. Didn’t even flinch. Just bounced right back up. My body may be limp, my mind marinated in alcohol, and my skin cold and dry from the harsh wind outside, but I feel invincible. David has to prop me up, but I can take on the world.

“It’s so cold…” David’s teeth clack violently. It sounds like they’re ready to shred the enamel off any second.

“Then stay close.” I hug David close to me. “I’m a good windshield.”

“What?”

“I said Imma goo…” My mouth just won’t cooperate.

“Pardon?” David starts helping me through the streets towards our lodging. The cold is getting worse by the second. A sheet of ice has already covered my new hand. Lamps powered by oil illuminate the streets. They give good light, but damn they stink up the place.

“I said I’m…” now my brain won’t cooperate. Words are hard. “I big. Protect from wind. There.”

“How eloquent.” David sighs.

“Hey. Issa… feat I can talk… you drank halfas much as meh, you’d be dead.”

“I do not doubt that.” David holds my arm tight and continues supporting me up. We turn a corner to the right. Just a little more walking, a left, and we’re home. It’s quiet. All I can hear is the wind cutting my ears and David breathing heavily.

My brain decides to ruin the silence. “Hey… why did you wish for me to be happy? Am I not chipper enough for ya?”

“It is part of our creed to wish happiness upon all of the Matriarch’s children.”

“Oh… goscha… uugh…” my throat and stomach are fighting each other.

“But, how do I put this?” David’s voice gets a little quieter. “You are hard to look at.”

“You callin’ me ugleh?”

“No no not at all you just always look so… sad.” David sneezes. “Even when you’re smiling or cracking jokes, I just feel uneasy around you. You sound like you’re about to cry at any second. Your eyes always look hollow and your smile always feels so cold.”

I feel time freeze for a second. My heart condenses and my stomach flips inside out. “Heh…” my lip begins to tremble. No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop it. “I always was a bad liar.”

“What happened to you? In all the stories I’ve read, of all the destitutes I have seen take refuge in our Monastery, I have never seen anyone with eyes like yours.”

“You don’t want to know.”

We turn the corner and I can see a bright sign of our lodging at the end of the road. It reads ‘The Foxhole’.

“Yes I do, Astrid.” David’s arms start to tremble, but he perseveres. “I want to understand you. I want to help.”

“You can never understand. I wouldn’t want you to. You’re too good for that.”

“Astrid… Please…” David’s voice cracks. “At least tell me how you lost your hand.”

I want to push him into the snow, but my body won’t let me. “I wasn’t strong enough. I’m afraid it really is just that simple.” my neck starts to go limp and my cheek rests on my shoulder.

“Are you serious?” David stumbles to his knee. “O-ow…” he sneezes again.

I shift my weight off of him and manage to stand on my own two feet. I’m unsteady and constantly fighting against the wind, but I can somehow stand. “Here.” I offer him my hand. “You’ve done enough.”

“No… no no…” David shakes his head and wipes his cheek. “I can stand…” he gets up to his feet, takes my hand, and continues leading me to the inn. His grip is weak, but I cant tell he’s trying his best. “I am helping you whether you like it or not. Astrid. You are the strongest person I have ever met. You are cool… the coolest I’ve ever met.” David winces.

We approach the inn and bask in the warmth and stench of its sign. “Thank you, David… That means a lot… Let’s get warm.” I kick the door open, trudge into the inn, shake the ice off me, and fall face first onto the floor.

“Ah.” A pale, stocky woman looks down at me from behind the counter. “You must be Astrid.” I feel some keys land on my back. “Your room is 103. Breakfast starts at dawn. Hot water’s free, so go nuts.”

“Thanks…” I bathe in the warmth and feel my cheek defrost against the lush carpet. Feels like a bear pelt.

“Do you need help?” David leans down and tugs on my arm.

“Yeah… but… let me lie here for a while. The room’s spinning… a lot…”

“She always like this?” Stocky asks.

David says nothing, but I can just feel him nod.

“You’re free to sleep there, but if you barf, I’m kicking you out.” Stocky goes back to reading a book.

“That’s fair…” I lie on the bear pelt for a while and actually manage to fall asleep. I see that woman again. Same smile. Same gorgeous eyes. Same soothing voice. She’s walking towards me. I try to turn and run, but my body feels like it’s buried in syrup. I can’t tell if she’s getting bigger or just growing closer.

Regardless, David’s voice wakes me up. My eyes shoot open and I see David leaning over me. “Astrid, did you fall asleep?”

“A little… why?”

“You were thrashing and cursing again.” David sighs.

“What did I say?”

“I would be breaking several commandments by repeating your words.” David takes my left hand and pulls me up.

I make the hand pop off and watch him fall backwards on his butt. “Astrid!”

A gross laugh erupts from my alcohol-soaked belly. “Hehehe… it’s still funny.”

“Please just let me get you to bed already.” David crawls forward, puts the keys into his robe, pops my hand back on, and resumes pulling me up by my right hand.

I get to my feet, we head to the room, enter, and lock the door behind us. I throw my trunk off my back and slide it over to the wall beside the door. Metal walls, metal floor, metal everything like usual. Even the bed frame is metal. If it wasn’t for the elaborate underground heating system, this room would be colder than outside. There’s a lone window overlooking the big bed. It looks wide enough for two, but still not long enough to where I can stretch my legs comfortably. There’s a black heater in the corner of the room. warm vapor shoots out the top while hot air blasts out through the center. David immediately makes for it and puts his hands and face in front of it. I lie down on the floor and feel my cheek and arms defrost against the warm metal floor. Aside from the bed and heater, there’s a small desk and even smaller dresser. Layout looks identical to an Athesian military barracks minus the small weapons rack. At least the adjacent bathroom looks nice from the little of it I can see from the floor. Stainless big sink, sizable bathtub, and a collection of towels of various sizes.

“Get washed up.” I flop my arm towards the bathroom. “I needa sleep…”

“No. You first.” David retreats from the heater and tries to pull me up by my arm. “You haven’t bathed in a week. I won’t have you stinking up the bed.”

“But the floor’s so comfy…”

“Get in the tub. Please.” David whines.

“Fiiine.” I roll over to the bathroom and shut the door behind me. Turn the bath on and watch hot water fill the tub and steam fill the room. There’s a small mirror over the sink. Wow. Uh. Shoot. I didn’t think I looked that bad. Hair looks sticky, clumpy, and as if it had been doused in oil. Skin looks several shades greyer and darker, though I doubt that’s due to tanning… I can see a layer of dust crack off my cheeks if I move my face certain ways. Stains of blood and dirt cake deep into my forearms and my armor is dripping with frost that’s quickly melting. Dammit… and I just got this armor and it’s still all covered in those white handprints from The Checkpoint. Maybe I should just paint it white. I’m sure it’ll function fine after I clean, polish, and dry it. I hope. I’m far more worried about my clothes. Haven’t changed them once since I left Dead End. I quickly strip everything off and bring my shirt to my nose. Smells like me, so I can’t really smell anything. Regardless, I can feel my shirt, pants, and boots be weighed down by dried sweat and mud. I’m sure there’s some good military fatigues I can buy here for cheap… I bundle everything and my hand into a pile in the corner, turn the bathwater off, and slide into the tub. This is good. Quite good. Exceedingly good. I can’t tell how hot the water is. The water’s hot, but my skin is still icy cold. I can’t tell if the cold is hurting me or the heat is. I don’t care. I’d rather die in a hot tub than in a blizzard. The water around me gets discolored as I begin to scrub myself with a fresh bar of soap resting on the rim of the tub. Clumps of dried mud, dried sweat mixed with dead skin, and even some dried blood melts off of me and flows into the water. Hope the drain can fit all that. I look around and manage to locate a comb. It’s a big, thick one. Looks strong enough to groom a horse, but fine enough to comb a newborn’s head. The last part could very well be wishful thinking. I scrub my skin almost raw and wash and brush my hair till every batch of dirt, sweat, and dead skin is removed. The water’s dirty, but the drains can finish that just fine… The water’s so hot and nice though… and David’s a patient boy… I’m sure I can relax just a tad while longer… I rest the back of my head against the wall, close my eyes, and feel my body melt in the water. The moment I do, I see that woman’s eyes glaring back at me. My body shoots up immediately and I manage to strain a neck muscle from moving too fast. “Ah… Bitch!” I rub the back of my neck.

“Please watch your language.” David knocks on the door. “The Matriarch is always listening.”

If the kid understood irony, he’d be a best-selling author. “Bite me.” I splash hot water against my face and rub it into my cheeks. Even with all the alcohol in me, just seeing that bitch again is going to ruin my sleep schedule. Dammit…

I don’t know how much time passes, but I eventually get out and dry myself off. Scars are still there. Half my eyebrow’s still gone. Nothing’s really changed, yet I still feel disappointed. Dunno what I was expecting. I bend under the sink and open a small drawer. There’s some bathrobes. Looks barely big enough for me, but comfy. I pull one up and around my shoulders and try to close it. Tight, but functional. I’m getting sleepy just feeling it brush against my skin.

I kick open the door. “Aight, David. In. Water’s dirty so drain it.”

“Thank you, Astrid.” David gives a little bow and scurries in. “Eeeew! Why is the water this dirty!?”

“Hahaha!” I belch out some laughter, jump into bed, and curl up in the blankets. I haven’t felt this warm and safe in months. The blankets are heavy and thick as hell and the pillows are numerous and plush. I immediately fall asleep after getting myself tucked in.

The woman appears again. She’s got her back turned to me and is saying… something. I can’t quite hear her, but I can see Him sitting next to her. I can feel my body thrash and my throat moisten. Just as I’m about to scream myself awake, I feel some weight press against my torso. It’s heavy, but warm and soft. The woman and Him fade away and my mind and body go quiet. No noise. No dreams. Just silence. Pure. Silence.