Missteps
Chapter 73 – Parting Ways
It would have been almost comical the way the big, burly, berserker paced in front of the hospital doors if the reason for his hesitation wasn't so serious. Jun nervously cracked his knuckles as he ran through a thousand apologies in his mind.
"You may as well get it over with." The deep voice of the hooded figure said from behind Jun.
The berserker looked over his shoulder at the tall figure leaning against his mount. "What if she hates me?"
A chuckle escaped the other man's lips. "I highly doubt anyone can hate you as much as you hate yourself in this moment. Though, you won't find out until you actually go in." He glanced up at the almost noonday sun before he gave a heavy sigh and pushed off from his mount.
The figure was only an inch or two taller than him, but Jun still felt himself shrink under the older man's watchful gaze as he circled around to stand in front of the berserker.
"Did you leave the military just to turn into a mouse?" The hood fell off the bald head of the older man, revealing his steely eyes as he stared down the younger man. It was impossible to miss the authoritative tone in his voice. "Did I spend my own hard-earned money on a coward who's too afraid to apologize to a woman? To a member of the clergy?"
Jun gulped as the words assaulted him. A cold sweat started on the back of his neck as he felt like he was that same sixteen-year-old all over again, who was dumb and brash enough to think that he was ready for the difficulties of the military. Just like before, his commanding officer was ready to set him straight.
The berserker felt his back straighten as he clasped his hands behind his back, and jutted his chin out with his eyes focused straight ahead. "I am not a coward, Captain Hiroshi, sir!" The familiar mantra flowed easily out of his mouth.
A hint of a smile appeared at the edges of Captain Hiroshi's mouth. "Then why, are you out here pacing instead of being with your team?" He barked. "Are you that ashamed of hitting a woman?"
"I'm ashamed because I don't remember hitting her, sir." Jun took in a heavy breath before he continued. "I'm ashamed because I lost control, and that this wasn't the first time. I'm-" A heavy thump on the top of his head stopped the berserker's words.
Hiroshi stepped aside and pointed towards the door. "Now that you have the words, go and say them to the people that matter."
It took another beat for Jun to gather his resolve before he finally moved his feet and took the heavy steps toward the door. Once inside, there was no one at the large desk or in the hallway. He stood awkwardly just inside the doorway, unsure of where to go.
Thankfully, a tall, thin elven woman in a white dress with a red armband exited a room just then. Her eyes widened in mild surprise when she saw him, but just as quickly a smile was plastered on her face.
"Hello there, are you in need of assistance?" Her voice was soft as she hurried closer to him, her eyes roving over his person as she took stock.
"I'm looking for a friend, the guards at the front gate said that she'd been brought here." Jun explained. "Her arm had been all busted up." His voice gave out at the end, but the woman didn't comment.
She nodded solemnly. "Yeni mentioned that we were expecting more visitors." The elven woman pointed to a door on the right-hand side of the hallway. "Elaine is in that room," She flicked her wrist and pointed to a door across the hall. "And Lia is still asleep in that one." With a reassuring smile towards the large man, the woman took a seat at the desk and began to work on some paperwork.
The berserker found himself comforted that Lia was close by. Without another word, he headed towards Elaine's room.
The inside was dimly lit by a large candle on the table next to the bed.
The cleric was laid out on the bed, their right arm propped up on a large pillow on her side. Strips of wetted fabric had been wrapped around the appendage, but it was easy to see that it was swollen.
A stool stood next to the bed, and Jun sat down on it.
Thankfully she didn't seem to be in pain, as he watched her chest rise and fall in even measure. Flashes of her being pulled out from under the wagon crossed his mind. In bits and pieces, the memories of the fight came back to him, culminating at the moment he brought his warhammer down on her arm. His breath began to come in gasps as he squeezed his eyes shut, willing the images to stop.
"Jun, calm down. You're in a safe place."
The voice, weak as it was, was enough to cut through the panic racing through his head. He looked up into the tired, hazel eyes of his friend.
Elaine smiled. "There you go, that's better."
Jun didn't return the smile. "How can you say this is a safe place when I'm here?"
Her smile didn't waver. "It's safe because you're here, and you're in control."
He gave a shuddering breath as he hung his head. "I'm sorry that I wasn't in control before."
"You had a little help." She gently reminded him, but he shook his head.
"I could feel myself losing control days before we were attacked. To be honest, I'm not sure I ever truly had control." He raised his eyes to hers again. "In the military, it was like I was a trained dog whenever the verta kochen took over. In the beginning, my comrades would point me at the enemy and stay out of my way. Eventually, it got to the point where I could fight around others and still recognize them as friendly. When Ander and I split off and headed to meet the Tribe, I'd hoped to find some secret to controlling it. I hoped that they'd have all the answers."
"But they didn't." Elaine finished for him.
Jun nodded. "Turned out, they didn't have any better ways of directing berserkers than what I'd already found." The large man chuckled. "In some ways, I seemed to have better control than those twice my age. It was what set me apart, and contributed to my being chosen." His hand lifted and lightly caressed the tattoo on his bicep.
The cleric's eyes followed, and her eyebrows furrowed as she took in the piece of artwork. "What happened to the fist? I thought both of them were colored in?"
The berserker's hand dropped. "They were, but then I hurt you, and Zhonnic took it away."
"I'm sorry," Elaine tried to reach over with her good hand towards Jun but stopped with a wince as the movement aggravated her arm.
Without thinking, Jun reached out and took hold of the cleric's left hand. "Stop that, you'll make your injury worse."
Elaine gave a small chuckle of her own. "I'm not too sure that's possible right now after the amount of magic that's been pumped into it."
"I'm sorry," Jun went to pull his hand away but was stopped as the dark hand squeezed it.
"And I forgive you." She locked eyes with her fellow human, showing him nothing but forgiveness, kindness, and the fondness that had developed between all of the members of M.A. as they'd fought side-by-side.
As Jun looked into those eyes and saw no trace of malice or anger, he felt the heavy weight on his chest melt away. Unbidden, his head fell softly onto the bed next to her as tears fell from his eyes. He clutched her hand like a lifeline as the guilt he'd nurtured since Bidrek had told him the truth slowly chipped away. Not all of it would leave, but the rest that remained would act as a lesson, and not as an anchor.
For a few minutes, the only sound in the room was of Jun softly weeping, letting go of all the frustration that had been building for some time.
Finally, Elaine spoke. "So, care to tell me how you got away from the slavers?"
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Jun gave a hearty chuckle as he lifted his head. With his free hand, he wiped away the last of his tears. "I didn't get away, I was bought." He went on to tell her what had happened from the moment he'd woken up in the bugbear's cage, to how his old military Captain had found him at the slave market and purchased him. "When we got to the main gate and started asking after you and the others, we were told to come here."
The cleric whistled. "What about Iados? Did your Captain get him too?"
Jun shook his head. "I was still out of it from whatever drug those slavers had, so it wasn't till we'd reached the city that I was even conscious. I was hoping you and the others had some news."
"Last I heard, Carric and Ander went to go find the Rabble Lord for help." Elaine admitted. "You might go across the hall and ask Lia if she's heard something more if she's still there."
"According to the nurse she is." Jun went silent.
The dark-skinned woman shook the hand that was still clasped with hers. "Hey, what's going on?"
"My Captain was as at the Slave Market because he was looking for Kai."
Elaine sucked in her breath. "He thinks she was taken by slavers?"
Jun shrugged. "They're not quite sure what happened, but they'd heard that quite a few children were at the market this time."
She raised an eyebrow. "Who's 'they'?"
"A noble from Nydag put together a task force of sorts to look for Kai, and the Captain's part of it." Jun explained.
"Don't get me wrong Jun, but I'm a bit skeptical. Some noble put together a team to look for Kai specifically?" Elaine asked.
Jun shook his head. "They're after more than just Kai. According to Captain Hiroshi, a lot of kids in that general area have gone missing. Kai is just the latest."
"Ah, that makes sense. Have they had any luck?"
Another shake of the berserker's head. "Not yet, but it is comforting to know that someone I trust is looking for her."
Elaine nodded. "I'm happy for you." There was a moment of silence before she continued. "You should go with him."
Jun blinked in confusion. "What do you mean?"
The cleric sighed. "We've talked about this before, you being on edge because of your uneasiness about Kai. I think you should go with him, and join the search. Besides, if you're having control issues, then spending time with the person who taught you that control might be a good thing."
The berserker let go of her hand and he stood up. "I can't just abandon you guys. What about the valley and Bymer's job?"
"Jun, calm down, I didn't say you'd be going alone."
Jun paused and looked down at the bed with a skeptic look on his face. "What do you mean?"
She gestured down at her arm. "It's going to take a few months for my arm to heal fully. I won't be of any use to the group. In fact, I'd be a hindrance."
"Even more of a reason for me to stay." Jun stated.
Elaine waved him off. "What I'm saying, is that both of us should join the search for Kai. I can use my connections with the church to help aid, and I can help you regain control."
The berserker sat down heavily on the stool. "So both of us would abandon the group?"
The cleric groaned and rolled their eyes. "Will you stop using that word? We wouldn't be abandoning them, just temporarily splitting up. It's not like the other four are completely useless. Between Carric and Lia they're not likely to do anything stupid, and with Ander's magic and Iados's mouth, I'm sure they'd be able to get out of any pickle."
Jun shook his head. "Bymer assigned this task with all of us in mind, I'm not sure this is something that can be accomplished with only the four of them."
"The four of them can scout it out, and if it's too much for them to handle, they can come and get us." Elaine yawned. "Either way, I need a time out to heal, and you need to take care of your daughter. Promise me you'll at least think about it?"
He nodded his head. At her prodding, the berserker left the room and headed across the hall. As quietly as he could, he opened the door and peered in.
Sitting up in the bed, with Shomma snuggled to her side, was Lia. Her nose was buried in a book. She looked up at the sound of the door, and her eyes widened when she saw Jun.
"You're alive!" The young elf practically launched herself out of the bed and into his arms.
"I sure am." Jun squeezed the girl gently before he set her back down on the bed. He looked down at her in concern. "Are you alright? Why are you in this bed?"
Lia shook her head. "I'm fine. We had a late night and I needed someplace to crash. What about the others? Are they with you?" She leaned over to see around him.
Jun lightly pushed her back onto the bed. "I'm not sure where they are, I'm about to go look for them."
There was a familiar tsk-tsk behind him. "Isn't the number one rule of being lost to stay in one place and wait for a rescue?"
Jun turned around and saw the violet form of Iados leaning against the doorframe. Next to him was Ander, with Carric just behind.
The small halfling tapped his foot as he yawned. "Do you have any idea what we've been through because of you?"
The big berserker kneeled, and lightly ruffled Ander's hair. "I can't wait to hear all about it." He looked up at Iados. "You alright?"
The akudaem grinned and gave a one-shoulder shrug. "You missed quite the show by skipping out early."
Lia got out of bed and joined the group. "I'd like to hear all about it."
Someone cleared their throat behind Carric. The half-elf moved, revealing the elven worker. "Might I remind you all that this is a hospital, not a social club?" She took a moment to rake her eyes over everyone. "Seeing as none of you are visibly injured, might I suggest you take yourselves somewhere else to catch up?"
"There's plenty of room in here." Elaine's voice called out from behind her half-closed door.
With that, the members of M.A. happily piled into their cleric's hospital room. Pillows and blankets from other empty rooms were pilfered as they all found places on the floor around the bed.
Carric claimed the stool, while Iados and Lia snuggled together against the wall. Jun settled himself on the wall next to the doorway. Ander sat huddled in a large blanket at the end of Elaine's bed. Shomma hopped up on the bed and settled on Elaine's stomach.
For the next couple of hours, they all took turns enlightening the rest as to how their night had shaken out. Elaine was relieved to hear about Kerri, and merely rolled her eyes at the bard's contribution to the operation. Everyone agreed that they couldn't wait to hear what she'd found at the end of Uthain's tunnel.
One by one, each of them turned to sleep as their adventurous night caught up with them. Not even the presence of the medical staff through the rest of the day and night as they checked on Elaine was enough to rouse them all.
When Yeni, the short elven nurse, entered the room around dawn the next day, everyone was more or less in the same spots they'd staked out the previous day. Only Ander and Shomma had moved. Instead of being at Elaine's feet, the halfling was now curled up next to her in the bed, her good arm holding him in place. Shomma occupied his place at the foot of the bed.
The nurse looked around the room nervously.
"We don't bite, promise." The smooth voice of Iados said from his place against the wall. Lia currently had him pinned down as she used his lap as a pillow.
Yeni smiled and crept over. "I just wanted to check up on all of you. I'm about to head out."
Iados smiled. "Thanks, and sorry if we've been in your way."
The small elf shook their head. "You're not the first batch of adventurers we've had. She smiled and looked over the sleeping forms. "You can always tell how close a group is by how they sleep when one of their own is hurt." She turned back to Iados. "Dr. Elick will be by in a few hours to do an examination of Elaine's arm. He doesn't like an audience, so you and your friends will need to move then."
The akudaem nodded in confirmation.
"Sounds like a great excuse for a food run." Jun said with a yawn as the door closed behind the nurse.
Iados chuckled. "Maybe we can get an introduction to your old captain at the same time."
"He did say he was gonna be in town for a few days, so probably." The berserker fidgeted for a moment before he looked back over at the akudaem. "So Elaine had an idea."
"Ok, what is it?" Iados's eyebrow raised as he saw the hesitation in the berserker's shoulders.
"She thinks that she and I should join my captain for a bit, and help with the search for Kai." Jun admitted. "That would give her time to heal, and I would work on my self-control."
The former pirate's mind flashed back to a slightly out-of-control Jun stalking towards him in the brewery's yard just a short time ago. He nodded. "It's not the worst idea. But why just the two of you? Can't all of us join the search?"
"Elaine thinks that the four of you could continue on with Bymer's job, scout it out. Then if you need us, you'd come and get us."
Iados gave a small laugh. "It's actually a small comfort that she trusts us enough to leave us alone."
Jun smiled. "She did say that Carric and Lia would be in charge."
"That makes sense." The akudaem chuckled a few more times. "So, what do you think? Do you want to leave for a while?"
The berserker looked around at his sleeping friends. "Do I want to leave? No. But right now, I don't fully trust myself to have your backs completely in a fight. Elaine's right, I need to look for my daughter and regain my control."
"If it helps any, I'd feel better about leaving Elaine behind somewhere to heal if you were by her side." Iados admitted.
Jun smiled and nodded. "So would I."
When Dr. Elick ran them all out of Elaine's hospital room, the group merely popped the tower open to the side of the main drive to the hospital. They took the opportunity to freshen up, have some Ander-cooked food, and talk over Elaine's suggestion. As a group, they came to the same kind of conclusions that Elaine, Iados, and Jun had come to.
It was another few days before Elaine was released from the hospital, with strict instructions not to use magic to aid in her healing process. Dr. Elick advised the cleric, that with the amount of focused magic he'd used to piece her arm back together, he was afraid that any more and her body's natural healing abilities might become affected.
While they waited for Elaine, arrangements were made with Hiroshi for her and Jun to accompany him. He had no qualms against it, and welcomed the help.
M.A. wouldn't split immediately. Hiroshi's next stop was just outside of Osthom, so the group would travel together as far as Rocklyn.
A big point of anxiety amongst everyone, and a reason why they didn't mind taking longer to leave, was Kerri. No one had heard from her or Maron since they'd left Iados.
The ambulatory members of M.A., excluding Carric and Iados, spent hours roaming the sewers of Silverbank in search of the starry hallway. However, the area where Iados said that he'd last seen the hallway, wasn't anywhere close to where Carric thought he'd seen it. Ander theorized that it was hidden by magic, but even walking the sewers with his magic detection spell up didn't lead anywhere.
When they reached out to the Rabble Lord for help, all he could do was promise to keep an eye out. When pressed, he admitted that Kerri and Maron weren't the first to go missing while chasing the legend.
Iados proposed going to the witch in the Palace, but the idea was quickly squashed by most everyone else. The witch extracted a heavy price, and it was no guarantee that she'd be able to help. Not to mention the fact that security around the Palace had increased since the Council of Seven went into their winter session.
Finally, the group had to admit that they'd hit a dead end. All they could do was trust in Kerri and Maron to keep each other safe, as they themselves hit the road towards their next adventure.