Chapter 345 - Hubris II

Ace scanned the camp with a lazy eye as he double-checked his hastily constructed umbrella. It was still raining too heavily for the brigade to hit the road. If anything, the storm had only grown heavier on the second day, but that was precisely why he was preparing to head into town. The lizardman needed to replace his weapon. He could always default to using the greatsword still strapped to his back, but he needed his shorter blade for most speed-focused encounters.

He wasn’t the only one returning to the city. Lana, Chloe, and Sophia were joining him on his quest, the wolf to seek a new axe, the maid to pick up more groceries, and the shark because she needed a breath of fresh air; the storm was not letting up and she had nothing to do.

Krail had wanted to join them, apparently to get some gambling done at the local tavern, but Jules managed to change his mind. The elf’s magehood was the primary concern. Though still somewhat unpleasant, in the eyes of the mana-sensitive locals, the physical combatants were not quite as uncomfortable to handle; they would have more luck if they went alone.

They ventured out into the storm as soon as everyone was geared up, though some of its members were debatably more ready than others. If anything, he felt like Lana was overprepared. She wore a magical poncho that would keep her dry even underwater, a mask that allowed her to breathe liquids, and even a pair of enchanted goggles with the ability to see through the rain. She threw on the magical items with such efficiency and familiarity that he could only assume that they were pirate essentials.

Sophia, like Ace, was moderately prepared. Both secret agents wore makeshift raincoats, unlike Chloe, who had decided to make do with an umbrella. Though in her case, the lack of readiness was practically a given. Her accompaniment was less of a choice and more of an assignment. The drowsy maid had not suggested her own participation. Arciel had ordered it, and she had simply failed to decline.

He half expected her to wake when they stepped outdoors, but to his surprise, she remained exactly as she was even as they waded through the storm. It was almost entertaining how little of an effort she made to stay dry. She wasn’t awake enough to hold her umbrella overhead. The wind blew it from side to side and dragged her to and fro. Lana was her only saving grace. The tiny wolfgirl grabbed her by the wrist and made sure she never strayed too far.

But that was effectively the extent of the interaction that followed throughout the trip. Of course, Ace did at least try to make conversation—

“Would’ve thought that it’d have cleared up by now. Damned storm’s stubborn as a mule.”

“Mhm.”

“Right, so uh, how you holdin’ up, Miss Penhorn? That gear doing its job?”

“Yes.”

—But he was unable to pierce the pirate’s ironclad defence. Sophia was just as uncooperative. She only ever responded to his questions with “affirmative,” and “negative,” refusing to elaborate on anything he tried bringing up. Chloe did eventually wake up, roughly halfway through the trip, but she wasn’t quite in the mood for a conversation either. Feeling silly for even making the attempt, the lizardman shook his head and walked the rest of the way in awkward silence.

Thankfully, for his sanity’s sake, he wasn’t left with nothing to do. He focused his energy on surveying the environment and keeping an eye out for any potential threats. It was the Cadrian princess’ fault that he was on edge. She had led them straight into the enemy’s trap; it was exactly what he would have done, had he shared her motives. And it had almost worked.

They had managed to pull through, perhaps because they were more competent than she had previously suspected. Ace himself had failed to contribute, but the others ensured that her assassin never escaped.

The lizardman clicked his tongue. It was starting to look like he would need to confront her, but even if she were as cursed as her strange injuries suggested, even if the others joined in, he would surely have to reveal his hand to see her ultimately defeated. And that in turn would entail his mission’s failure.

A trap would likely be wiser, but in either case, he would have to begin by removing the wool from Queen Arciel’s eyes. His own plans would never make progress if she continued to blindly support her supposed friend’s schemes. Eroding their relationship, however, seemed like a high hurdle to cross. He could have used himself as bait had he belonged to the deck of hearts. The corresponding Jack was especially effective when it came to seduction—even with their sexualities called into question, he would’ve had them swooning and fighting over him in a matter of minutes—but alas, the Ace of Diamonds had no such ability. His only tricks were to stay sharp and spear his enemies through.

His contemplation lasted until they arrived in front of the city’s wall.

“Stop. Who are you, and what are you here for?” A ferret stepped out of the watchhouse with a brightly lit lamp and a fairly sturdy umbrella. He wasn’t quite as on guard as he had been just a few days prior, but he still regarded them with at least some degree of suspicion. Ace was not particularly bothered; it only made sense for him to check a group that would approach in such heavy rain.

“Good afternoon, Mister,” said Ace. “We’re travellers, here to restock on supplies. Been rough out there with the rain.”

“Travellers?” The sunak raised his firelight and scanned each of the group’s members in turn.

Thinking that there was nothing wrong, Ace happily cooperated and allowed the man to do his job. At least until the group’s final member was placed under scrutiny.

His jaw practically dropped. He hadn’t quite noticed in the darkness and rain, but the flame quickly revealed the maid to be a problem. Her uniform was the only thing that adorned her body, and it was sticking awfully close and highlighting every bit of its ridiculous, cold-changed shape. The lizardman, by all means, should not have been attracted. He had only ever preferred individuals in his own species group, and yet, he found himself unable to redirect his gaze. Evidently, the guard was in the same boat; his whole body was shaking and his eyes were spinning with madness.

Lana lowered the half-succubus’ umbrella and hid her body from view, but the trance lasted until she waved a hand in front of the man’s face. “Hello?”

“Oh… uh, yeah, sorry. Zoned out for a bit,” said the guard.

Ace laughed awkwardly. “Everything okay, Mister? Or are we gonna need to fill out some forms?”

“R-right. Y-you’re free to pass.” The guard fixed his expression with a cough and pulled a lever that slowly raised the gate. He stepped out of the way as the metal bars rose, all while wondering under his breath about the local brothel’s more exotic options.

“Gonna need to do something about that look of yours, Miss,” said Ace. “It ain’t pretty what it does to people.”

“Affirmative,” said Sophia. “I detect higher levels of lust when I look in your direction.”

“Wait, that was my fault?” asked Chloe.

“Can you think of any other reason he freaked out the moment he saw you?”

“It may be worth reevaluating your wardrobe choices,” said Sophia. “I suggest including a bra.”

“I’m wearing one already,” muttered the maid. “They’ve just been showing through no matter what I do lately.”

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

“I know a trick,” said Lana. “I can show you. If we visit the tailor’s.”

“You do?” The maid skeptically turned her eyes on the tiny wolf’s washboard.

“Our bodies change when we go into heat,” said the pirate.

“How about you girls save that for when I ain’t listening?” said Ace. “And maybe help me find the local smithy while you’re at it.”

“I remember passing one the first time we walked through town,” said Chloe. “It should be on the main road, not too far from here.”

“You sure? I don’t hear no hammering,” said Ace.

“It is possible that they are simply closed,” said Sophia.

“Gods help us if they are,” groaned the lizardman. “I’d hate it if we came all this way for nothing.”

“I think you might be onto something,” said Chloe. “The war goddess’ temple usually has a few weapons for sale.”

“Maybe for the little lady,” said Ace. “I’m not looking to spend much, and all the stuff they have there is always priced right through the roof.”

They continued walking through the city as they chatted, carefully inspecting the signs as they passed them by. When they finally arrived at the smithy, after ten odd minutes of browsing, they were pleasantly surprised to see that the light was on.

A bell rang when they walked through the door. There was clearly a ferret sitting at the desk, but it didn’t bother calling out to the customers or welcoming them into its shop. Only grunting once, it kept its gaze focused on their persons as they browsed its wares. It was only with the right eye that the shoppers were being watched. The other half of its face was covered with a massive leather patch that ran from its brow to its lips.

“Should’ve known it’d turn out like this.” Having done a full circle of the shop, Ace breathed a sigh and flopped his tail against the ground. The smithy was not a dedicated weapons shop. Most of the items lying around were everyday goods like tiny spoons, skillets, and scythes. There were a few weapons stashed in one of the far corners, but they were all made for locals. Not only were they too small, their designs were completely unlike those to which the lizard was accustomed.

Of the twelve-odd items available, nine were meant to be held in one’s mouth. They featured blades on both sides, likely meant for slashing a foe as one ran them by. The remaining three pieces were equipable claws for the ferrets’ tiny feet. There was nothing that even remotely resembled a sword or an axe.

“Excuse me, Mister,” Ace walked up to the counter and greeted the man with a light nod. “Do you take custom orders?”

The half-blind ferret briefly glanced in his direction. “Not for travellers. There isn’t a forge in town big enough to make you anything decent.”

Ace flicked his tongue. “Damn. What about the temples? You think they’ll have anything?”

“Doubt it.”

“Thanks,” said Ace. “And sorry for taking up your time.”

The half-blind ferret only nodded and lightly waved him away.

His companions in tow, Ace reluctantly walked out of the shop and scratched the back of his tail. “You girls got any ideas?”

“We could try asking one of the other shops,” said Chloe. “I’m pretty sure he was lying.”

“Affirmative,” said Sophia. “Many of his wares were sizeable.”

“Yeah, but I think they’ve made it clear that most people around here don’t like foreigners too much. I doubt we’ll have much hope of finding anything until we cross the border.”

“Let’s split up,” said Lana.

“Excellent suggestion,” said Sophia. “Not all the locals may be as unfriendly.”

“Doubt it’ll get us anywhere, but sure,” said Ace. “I’ll head south then southwest. You girls handle the rest.”

“Okay,” said Lana.

“I’ll take the northeast,” said Chloe.

Lightly waving his free hand, the lizardman started south with a tired sigh. He didn’t stay en route for long, however, and split into a relatively dry alley as soon as he was out of sight. From there, he followed a mental map and skirted around until he found himself inside of a random building’s basement. He wasn’t quite sure if the owner was aware of his presence, so he kept his voice low, even as he greeted his partner.

“Good afternoon, Mister Relay.” Meeting the thousand-year frog was another one of the trip’s objectives. Relay had sent a bird while Ace was on night watch that morning and requested an in-person discussion.

“Good is maybe a bit of an exaggeration, with the weather the way it is,” said the grug. “How are things going on your end? Any changes since the last report?” He popped a cigar into his mouth and offered another to his partner, who gladly received the pre-lit smoke.

“Nothing’s really rocked the boat,” said Ace. “It’s the same as it was a few days back. Someone’s still clueing the enemy in, and I’m still pretty sure it’s the girl. Either her or the raccoon.”

“Right, about that,” said Relay. “I looked into him like you asked, but nothing’s come up. No one’s heard of a Cadrian agent that looks like a raccoon.”

“Figured,” grumbled Ace.

Relay shrugged. “Well, either case, it looks like they’ve got an army inbound. You sure you don’t want to withdraw?”

“We’ve heard about that from the raccoon already,” said Ace.

“Did he tell you that there were going to be twenty fucking warships?”

Ace raised a brow. “Twenty?”

“Twenty,” affirmed the frog. “Just so you know, this is your last chance to abort. High command’ll probably let you off, with how risky it’s gonna be to keep going, but they’ll wind up too curious if you uncover anything else.”

“I’ll stick around for a bit longer.” The more combat-oriented agent took a deep breath and filled his lungs with smoke. “I’m the only chance they’ve got at taking that princess down.”

Relay scoffed. “Remember your orders, Ace. Don’t risk your life for the Vel’khanese.”

The lizardman laughed. “I’m only doing this because I’ve still got my eyes on the prize. We’ve got a solid chance at hitting both targets, and I ain’t about to pass it up.”

“Just making sure.” Nodding at his partner, the frog put on his hat and headed back into the rain.

And after taking a few minutes to puff at his cigar, Ace joined him in doing the same. But while the frog’s exit was seamless, the lizardman’s was not. He found himself face-to-face with one of his party’s members as soon as he stepped into the open.

“Please explain.” From the way that she was standing, it was clear that she had been awaiting his exit. “What were you doing in that basement?” Sophia’s eyes were cold, practically glowing beneath the darkened skies.

“Not much,” said the lizard. “Just figured I’d need to hang out somewhere dry to get my smoke lit.”

“Please refrain from providing dishonest responses. They only detract from your credibility.” The shark clenched her fists. “I observed as you entered the building, and as that suspicious grug vacated it.”

Ace took a breath. He hadn’t realised that she had tailed him, but he remained composed regardless. It was as good a chance as any to win over the shark’s trust. “He’s an information broker. He called out to me with some sort of magic, and I decided to follow him.”

“He was a grug.”

“Yeah, and I met him back in Moros. He happened to follow us across the border because he had an update for me, and figured I’d be willing to pay.”

“And what, exactly, did he have to report?”

“You know how Miss Augustus is the Cadrian princess? Well, it turns out, unsurprisingly, that she ain’t on our side.”

Sophia balled her hands into fists. “Negative. She is an ally. Continue to spread falsehoods, and I will proceed with your elimination.”

“Look, just hear me out.” Ace took half a step back and raised his empty hands above his head. “I know the queen trusts her, but you’ve gotta think about this rationally. She’s got no reason to take our side.”

Sophia paused. “She served as a key ally in the revolution.”

“So it’d be easier for the Cadrians to take control of Vel’khan. Why the fuck else do you think she killed the marquis and started the war?” he asked. “Look, your duty is to your nation, ain’t it? How ‘bout you open your goddamn eyes and see the situation for what it is. I know I ain’t Vel’khanese, but you’ve gotta trust me. I’m just trying to help.”

The shark lowered her hands. “I will hear you out.”

Ace breathed a sigh and gestured for the shark to follow, before retreating back underground. “Buckle in. It’ll be a long one.”

He crossed his arms, leaned against a pillar, and after taking a long draught from his cigar, he revealed every point of evidence that his relay had discovered.