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Misadventures Incorporated
Chapter 237 - The Winter Festival III

Chapter 237 - The Winter Festival III

Chapter 237 - The Winter Festival III

Claire idly glanced around the room from her position behind the couch. Like everyone but the vampire princess, she was standing upright, playing the part of the noblewoman’s guard. The man they had set out to see knew nothing of her identity, and she had every intention of keeping it that way. She wore a mask on her face to further aid in the effort, a large piece of cloth that obscured everything under the bridge of her nose. Her hood was pulled down as well, covering her eyes to give the impression of an assassin. The only obvious racial feature she retained was her tail, an appendage that the lady of House Augustus was not exactly meant to have. And yet, despite her incredibly suspicious getup, it was not she that the manor’s gatekeeper had scrutinized. His eyes had rested on the three animals instead, all of whom had wandered inside in a single file line.

Similar looks were given by the butler, who had shown them to the sunroom and informed them that his master had a prior commitment. That, of course, was a lie, but none of the guests were brash enough to bring the fib to attention. It was only natural that the baron would need time to calm down, with the news being what it was.

Despite owning a mansion in the capital, the lord of House Ariti was not one of great wealth. A precursory look around the manor revealed a tale of relative destitution. The building’s decorations were scant; there were no fancy chandeliers, fine cases, or beautiful tapestries anywhere to be seen. The paper that covered his walls was tacky, and of a fashion that even Arciel would have been inclined to describe as out of date. His candle holders were made not of brass or stone, but bits of wood, pasted together with a cheap glue that held an awful scent, and there were fewer servants than there would have been in the house of a well-to-do commoner. Those that were present appeared less-than-inclined to put much effort into their jobs; there was so much dust in the air that Claire had to fight back the urge to sneeze.

The sorry state of his wallet was further emphasized by the home’s location. It was located not within the district that contained most of the other noble houses, but far on land, only a block or two north of the pleasure quarter. The accompanying bright red lights could not exactly be seen from the sun room, but Claire had spotted them whilst passing through the halls. The sounds were even less subtle. They rang throughout the home, the jovial music more obnoxious than entertaining.

“Are you sure he’s worth recruiting?” asked Claire. “I doubt he has very many soldiers.” The gatekeeper was the only armed guard she had seen, and like the maids, he had appeared more sloppy than competent.

“Meager though his assets may seem, Lord Ariti is a shrewd man with strong blood ties to many of this country’s most powerful,” said Arciel. “His allegiance is critical to ensuring a stable political climate following the harlot’s suppression.”

A muffled cry came from beside her, as if to join the conversation, but the lyrkress silenced it with a magic-infused glare. His inability to speak came not from a gag, but a set of vectors that held his mandibles shut while another kept him standing upright; much of the alcohol had been filtered from the mantis’ body, but he was still drunk enough for his mouth to be deemed a liability.

“Uhmmm… I think Matty just said that it’s ‘cause this airy-whatever guy’s parents were super important. But apparently he wasn’t born soon enough to take over most of their stuff,” said Sylvia. “Oh, and his siblings are supposed to be super important too.”

“Precisely,” said Arciel. “It is none other than his elder brother that serves as this country’s prime minister.”

“S-should we really be here then?” squeaked Natalya. “I feel like we’re just going to mess it up somehow.”

“I would much rather have you present than not,” replied the squid. “It is difficult to discern his reaction, given the current state of affairs.”

“R-right.”

The group spent a full hour chatting idly before the butler returned to announce the baron’s impending arrival. It was an almost unthinkable amount of time to make a royal wait, but the grieving father could not be so easily condemned.

When the spider-legged pufferfish finally entered the room, he did so with an air of feigned composure. Most of the red near the corners of his eyes had been covered up by cosmetics, but the swelling was not invisible. His sclerae were bloodshot, his breathing was erratic, and his hands were trembling. Still, he was at least presentable enough to face his guests, who he greeted with a bow and a click of the mandibles.

“Good afternoon, Princess,” he said, as he took his seat. “Please forgive my appearance. I am aware that it is imperfect, but I suspected,” He stopped in the middle of a sentence to take a deep breath, “that you would have preferred not to be kept waiting for any longer.”

Arciel nodded. “Not to worry, Baron. I am well aware of your circumstances.” She covered the bottom half of her face with a fan as she focused her eyes on his. “It will be in our best interest to strengthen our bonds so that we may rapidly suppress the harlot and her schemes.”

The man slowly raised his eyes and gave the witch a long, hard look. “Princess, I will be frank. I do not think that we will be able to work with you any longer. I… we have already lost too much. The queen is aware of our plans, and I doubt that there is much success to be had if we continue on our current path.”

“Cooperation is the key to preventing this manner of accident going forward, Lord Ariti.”

The man hid his trembling fists under the table and bit his lip. “The harm is already done.”

“Is that not all the more reason to act?” The vampire snapped her fan shut and set it down in her lap. “I know what you have lost. Your daughter was a darling child with a heart of gold and ambitions to match. It is a loss to the world for her spirit to depart at such an early age. But perhaps that is precisely why you must seek her killer and see justice done.”

“Please, Princess.” He chattered his mandibles and shook his head. “Please put an end to this madness. This happened because you approached us with this offer in the first place. We… cannot suffer any more of the consequences,” he said, with a shake of the head. “Please, I beg of yo—”

A painting flew by the man’s head and crashed into the wall behind him, its ceramic and glass frame shattering to bits on contact. His face twisted in shock, a reaction shared by the knight, the kraken, and the cat.

“You suck at acting.” Claire spoke up as she magically pulled another portrait into her hand. “Your makeup is perfunctory, your pauses are planned, and your tears are faker than the signature on this shoddy illustration.”

“W-what!? W-what are you doing!? How dare you!” flubbed the man. “I will not stand for your accusations! You know nothing of how I feel!”

The lyrkress rolled her eyes. “I know exactly what it looks like, for a father to feign concern about his daughter.” One set of vectors slid the couch that Arciel was seated on aside, while another ripped the coffee table in half. The man lashed out with a dagger when she stepped forward, but his attack was interrupted by a lizard to the chest. Boris squeezed the air out of his body while Claire stomped on a fuzzy leg and ground it to paste. He immediately began screaming for aid, but his assailant ignored his cries and flung him across the room.

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“C-Claire!?” shouted Natalya.

The baron tried to push himself to his feet while the butler previously seated behind him scrambled to insert himself between his lord and the aggressor. Both were dealt with in the same way. She lifted them with vectors and floated them in front of the Vel’khanese royal, where they were left to dangle helplessly, unable to influence their own position. They opened their mouths to complain, but that privilege was quickly denied with an ice cold glare.

“You can decide how we deal with them.” Claire focused her eyes on Arciel. “I recommend killing them both immediately.”

This statement, of course, came with a set of muffled complaints, but they were ignored.

“I would appreciate an explanation,” said the vampire.

“It’s super simple!” Sylvia grabbed the crowd’s attention with a wave of the paws. “There’s a bunch of guys surrounding the building right now. Oh, and there’s some of them inside already too. They started gathering a bit before he started talking to us.”

“He double crossed us,” muttered the witch.

“Mhm!” said Sylvia. “I’m pretty sure that there’s some of the weird elephant guys because they’re heavy and make funny sounds when they breathe. Oh, and some fish guys too, I think! Anyway, this guy’s totally got it out for us.”

“He used his daughter as bait,” said the lyrkress. “If that was his daughter at all.”

“That, I have grasped,” said Arciel. “But I do not understand your desire to slay them. Lord Ariti, at least, would make for a fine hostage if we decide that it is worth angering and subsequently deposing his brother.”

The longmoose averted her eyes, but answered nonetheless, half under her breath. “Experience.”

“I doubt that they are worth very much. Neither of them are ascended.”

This claim prompted the two victims to nod, quickly as they could.

“Killing him now means there will be more people to kill later.”

The squid closed her fan and pressed it into her brow. “I believe that is what we would describe as making enemies, which need I remind you, stands opposed to our goals?”

“We can blame it on the elephants,” said the moose. “There’s no guarantee he’ll survive the melee either way.”

“Where’d you say the erdbrechers were?” asked Matthias. He stumbled over to the couch as he spoke, his scythes draping over the back.

“Everywhere,” said Claire. “There are a few dozen or so down the hall, if you feel like dealing with them.”

“Finally! Some fun!” The mantis walked over to the door and stepped outside without a moment’s hesitation. “You girls wait right there. I’ll take care of this,” he said, with a hic. “I’ve always wanted to fight me some erdbrechers.”

“Wait, Matthias, come back!” Lia shouted after him, but to no avail. “We haven’t decided if we’re going to fight yet!”

The Vel’khanese knight ignored the cat’s complaint and headed straight down the hall. The sounds of battle filled the manor soon after he vanished around the corner. Crashing, clacking, the screeching of metal, the splattering of blood, and an almost excessive amount of panicked screaming. Evidently, the baron had neglected to inform his staff of his intentions.

“What are you talking about? There aren’t any decisions to make.” Claire tilted her head. “We’re going to fight here. Indoors. There are too many witnesses outside.”

“I would rather you not immediately dismiss all the other options.”

“Their fault, not mine.” The moose fashioned the curtains into a makeshift rope and tied up both of their hostages as she spoke. “Now stop sitting around. We need to take care of the perverts listening in.”

Claire walked over to one of the inside walls, ears twitching, and bashed Boris against it. The wood and plaster burst apart to reveal a group of armoured warriors with a large, crocodile-like lizardman standing at the forefront. He was dressed in full plate armour bearing an insignia of Vel’khanese origin and had two weapons, a pair of large swords, hanging off the side of his waist. The metal battering ram he held looked large enough to require his companions’ assistance, but he was carrying it in one hand without the slightest hint of strain.

“Why, hello ladies.”

He set the two-meter-long implement down on the ground in front of him and met the group with a toothy grin.

“Sir Deilos.” Arciel cast the man, the queensblade, a hateful glare, her grip tightening around her wand. “Good afternoon.”

“A very good afternoon indeed,” he said, as he cracked his neck. “You see, Her Majesty has just so happened to ask me to take you in so she can breed you in her bedchambers like the livestock you are.”

The vampire scoffed. “I suppose you were always the sort of man to worship harlots and their ilk.”

“Slandering the queen? Why, that’s lèse-majesté. I suppose that’s all the more reason for us to capture you.” The lizard smiled, his tongue flicking through the air as he arranged his hands behind his back. “I would have loved to handle it myself, but unfortunately we have to give our new friends a chance to show their stuff.”

He stepped back and allowed a pair of elephant men to step forward. They weren’t the most decorated mammoths in the crowd, and frankly looked more like grunts than they did famed warriors, but they carried themselves with utmost confidence regardless.

Claire didn’t bother waiting for them to engage. She raised her hands right away and tore at both with a series of powerful vectors. The mercenary on the left fell victim immediately, his body shredding to bits. His friend, however, suffered only a few tiny cuts and tears. And they were not the only two attacked. A storm of vectors immediately swept through the crowd. Some of the men were completely disassembled, some were slightly damaged, and some were even completely unscathed.

“It’s some sort of spell,” shouted the crocodile. “Initiate protocol thirteen and prepare to engage!”

The order came with an immediate shift in the soldiers’ defenses. Gone were the strawmen she could easily take apart. The weakest among them were replaced by clay soldiers instead, still malleable and easy to kill, but tough enough to offer a slight bit of resistance. They, however, were the only ones that fell. The rest stopped suffering injuries from her attacks, with the bipedal lizard among the more resistant. At most, she was able to tear out a few of his scales.

“You have certainly found yourself an interesting ally, Princess.” He touched a hand to his cheek and rubbed a missing scale, his already toothy grin growing more ferocious as he felt a trickle of blood. “Oh, a very interesting ally indeed.”

A rapier darted towards his throat while his eyes were focused on his sticky red claws. It nearly cleaved through his neck, but he evaded it with a flick of the tail. His assailant flipped over his head and immediately followed with a claw strike, but he stepped out of the way of that as well. The ceramic tiles beneath him took the blow instead. Their shattered bits flew through the room, obscuring the warrior just long enough for her to land an attack.

She drove her weapon’s pommel into his side and crushed his scales. A twist dug it even deeper, but Deilos was unfazed. He lashed out with his fist and forced her to back off whilst drawing his twin blades. It didn’t take anything more than a moment of observation to determine that they were enchanted. Both the red sword and its blue counterpart glowed with a faint magical light.

He dashed up to the feline and attacked before she could retreat back to her allies. She parried the blow, but the strength he infused into the double-bladed swing flung her aside. He immediately stepped forward and cut her off from her companions. He wanted a duel, and had no intention of taking no for an answer.

While he kept her occupied, his men broke into the room and surrounded the rest of the princess’ party. The erdbrechers they had recently hired were quick on the uptake. They not only joined the encirclement, but blocked off the exits as well. His target likely would have been able to break free had her knight still been by her side, but she had sent him off. It was the perfect opportunity to strike. Famed warrior though he was, Deilos knew that Matthias would not be able to quickly thin the crowd. His bad habit was sure to take hold and delay him from immediately claiming his victory.

A smile crossed the crocodile’s lips as he reviewed the status quo again.

It would not be long before the queen rewarded him again.