My job as a piano mover wasn't the most glamorous thing, but at least the money was decent and it was a pretty safe job. Or so I thought, until there was an accident and one of the piano legs crushed through my gut. I was dead before the paramedics even got there.
Now I'm... here, wherever "here" is. I'm not seeing black so much as I'm not seeing anything at all. I'm sensing some kind of movement, but the direction seems to change constantly. Suddenly, I get the feeling of being grabbed by something much greater than myself. It chucks me into this strange building that I could've sworn wasn't there a second ago.
Once I end up in the building, I hear a voice.
"Welcome, lost soul! It seems like you're a bit stuck. Just say the word and I'll spin this wheel to choose your next life," it says, oddly cheerfully.
"Oka- wait how am I talking as a disembodied soul?" I ask curiously.
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"Try not to think about it too hard,"
"Alright, I guess. But why use a wheel? I feel like that's a bit too chance-based, right?" I ask.
"This system has stood for eons, and you dare to question it?!" It shouts, all traces of former cheer gone.
"Of course I do, just because something is old doesn't mean it's right," I shout back angrily.
"Well then. I was going to give you the chance to be reincarnated as a dragon, a giant, myths and beasts of LEGEND!" It screams, and the sound alone feels as if it'll rend my soul. "But just because I spin the wheel doesn't mean that I can't choose whats on it," it hedges, a trace of mischievousness in it's grin. Suddenly, all the options on the wheel disappear, save one.
"What even is that thing?" I ask, though I feel almost defeated by asking.
"A type of Bifo- bef- Bifidobacteria," it says, proud of pronouncing the word. "A form of symbiotic bacteria located in the gut"
"Come on, we can talk about this!' I plead, not wanted to be turned into a microscopic gut thing. It is unmerciful, however, and simply spins the wheel. I feel a sudden, inexorable pressure, and am sucked into the abyss outside once more.