Chapter 23
(but, what about Ken)
The experience that Jarow felt as she stepped into the portal to leave the dungeon was unlike any portal travel she had experienced thus far. Gone was the sensation of being pulled through the portal one molecule at a time. Nor was there the feeling of an instant transition from one place to another.
She simply entered the portal, and then she was no longer in the dungeon. Instead, her presence seemed to float in a void of nothingness. It reminded her of the time when she learned the combat styles from Orro.
However, this experience was different. Though she still felt as though she had a body, she couldn't feel anything underneath her fingertips. She tried waving her arms around to touch something, but there was only darkness surrounding her. Instantly, panic gripped her mind. She hadn't had much before, but now it felt like she had lost everything.
Her hands were also empty, signifying that she was separated from Xinpo. The loss hit her hard, and she keenly felt the absence of her companion. To a lesser extent, she also regretted losing Shiarra. It was the last physical thing of any significance which she had to remind her of Noruff.
Jarow attempted to scream, but no sound escaped her lips. She was utterly alone and devoid of substance. Clueless about her current situation, she had no idea where she had ended up, if there was a way back, or even if returning was possible.
Closing her eyes, she attempted to calm herself, though the action seemed futile in this empty void. Taking a few deep breaths, she realized there was no air, but strangely, breathing didn’t seem necessary here. Despite her efforts, there was nothing to focus on; she was enveloped in absolute solitude.
Seeking answers, she tried to access her UI, hoping her logs would reveal something, anything that could shed light on her predicament. However, each attempt to access her UI resulted in an error; a low-pitched mental vibration signaling her inability to connect, but no visual cues to tell her what was wrong.
"FUCK!" Jarow attempted to scream into the void, but no sound escaped her lips. There was no auditory sensation here; it was as if the air and vibrations from her mouth were instantly muted before they could even disturb the surrounding nothingness.
In frustration, Jarow flailed her arms, wiggled, and kicked until a realization struck her. She had kicked. She vainly attempted to run her hands along her lower half, but there was nothing of substance, nothing there for her to feel. Yet, the sensation of kicking lingered in her mind.
A quick deduction led Jarow to believe she must no longer be in the Naga form she had inhabited while in the dungeon.
Her mind raced with the possibilities, “What did this mean? Where was she, was she even herself anymore? Was this some type of limbo, a place of in between? Had she been here several times already when she died, just not knowing, or perhaps forgetting when she once again awakened?”
As Jarow pondered her situation, a distinct sensation occurred: a sharp pain that seemed to cover her entire body. It lasted for less than a second, but it was definitely noticeable. Jarow once again brought her hands up to her body, and this time she could feel something there. Her senses were dulled, but she was excited to have substance once more.
Quickly, she ran her fingers along her body to verify that she was once again solid and to determine who or what she might be. There was still no light, no vision, hearing, smell, or taste, but she could at least feel touch once more.
Jarow felt along her body, noticing the absence of breasts and the absence of her snake tail. In its place was a smooth, nude body, but there was something peculiar about it. It lacked any distinguishing features that could symbolize sex, leaving instead a flat, solid, genital-less area where her reproductive organs should have been.
"I'm a fucking Ken doll," Jarow's mind screamed, before realizing that they didn’t actually know what a Ken doll was.
They looked into themselves, hoping to recover their memories. They were disappointed to find that their original life was still missing. However, more pieces were clicking together now. They could recall living on a planet called Earth. They remembered watching games, both being played by people and playing them on a game system themselves. They could recall how much they loved their parents. Their parents' image had remained burned into their memory, now associated with a profound sense of love and loss. They missed them, even though they couldn't remember them.
They began to try and cry. They hadn't had a good cry since their first, no, second body when they’d laid in the cell looking at their first body. But no tears came, and they were left frustrated and mad at this strange place they were in.
They quickly recalled their life, searching for clues as to what or where they might be. They could remember everything that had happened to them since waking up in that flabby human body. They remembered how it felt: the saggy skin, ill-formed muscles, flabbiness, and weird voice, but then a new realization struck them.
Their brain then attached the new memories with that first body, and they understood now that the first body they had worn must have belonged to a gamer, but unlike the malnourished body Jarow had lived in, the first body they occupied was a culmination of a mental disorder or perhaps just laziness, which had caused them to gain too much weight. Then, in an attempt to recover from that sedentary life, the person had begun to lose weight, resulting in the sagginess of the skin.
“He must have died before being able to achieve his goals,” Jarow thought.
Its compulsions to search and keep going were part of its makeup due to all the gaming the body had done. It had somehow brought those qualities into Jarow’s thoughts and kept them moving and searching throughout the time they had occupied it. Jarow felt a newfound connection to the body they had always felt was their least favorite. “Whomever had lived in that body before me was probably just like I was, just not crippled in the same way,” they thought to themselves, “but crippled by their mind.”
They found a new sense of appreciation for that body now. They had always felt it was the worst possible choice, the least functional and most useless for the situation. Now they wondered what would have happened if they hadn't had the muscle memories and sense of wonder that the body had given them. They might have simply given in to the depression and fear. They might have fallen asleep crying, too sad and scared to move until the fog had simply covered them. At least, that's what they thought would have happened. Noruff had mentioned the possibility but hadn't elaborated on exactly how that worked.
The thought of Noruff brought with it another wave of sadness and loss. Jarow desperately wanted to cry, to release the buildup of emotions which plagued them. This place only led to emphasize and deepen the feelings they had been dealing with, the feeling they had been pushing away in an attempt to move forward and keep fighting.
They had no sense of time in this void; the clock that normally stayed visible in their UI had simply vanished, along with any other part of their visual Interface. They weren't sure how long they had been trapped in this limbo, but they were beginning to come to terms with the new reality of their existence. They had given up trying to fight against it and simply focused on calming their fears and centering themselves.
They weren't sure if any of their previous bodies had known how to meditate, but in this place, they found it to be rather easy. There were no distractions, and their mind ruminated, but their memories didn’t go back very far, so even that didn’t take very long.
Finally, the monotony was broken when a new message appeared in their vision. The holographic blue interface screen was a welcome sight.
Congratulations! You have defeated the Thu’kri dungeon. Bonus for destroying all enemies. You gain…
The window that popped up was familiar to them, resembling what they were used to seeing, but instead of continuing on, the window broke apart and separated before disappearing after only being visible for a few seconds.
Then, several more windows popped into view, each lasting only several seconds as well, before disappearing as if torn apart in squarish chunks and pulled back into the void. The destruction of the windows was too fast for Jarow to read the entire contents.
Congratulations! You have gained level 7. You have n…
Congratulations! You have gained level 8. You have new attri…
Jarow was able to read fast enough to learn that they had been able to achieve level ten during their journey through the Thu’kri dungeon. There were also messages, presumably about loot they had gained which flitted through their vision, but then a final window appeared, and although Jarow caught only a quick glance, the content caused their heart to skip and their stomach to drop out.
Your companion Xinpo has been eliminated a…
They couldn’t see anything past the partial word, but there weren’t many words that could follow the word "eliminated" that were positive. A new set of worries came over Jarow. Even when they died and returned to a new body, they knew they would reunite with Xinpo. It was their one constant in their new existence.
Before they could really come to terms with what may have happened to Xinpo, a new window appeared in their vision. This one was much different than the others. The Cyber Techno appearance was nowhere to be seen. Instead, the window more resembled an old scroll.
It appeared before them and then unrolled. Upon the open parchment, words grew as if they were being written by an invisible hand holding an ancient magical plume. The lettering was swooping and flowing, and it glowed a light ember gold as if it were hot upon the page.
Congratulations on successfully completing the beginner's trial! You have reached level 10, which qualifies you for a system upgrade. Please stand by for orientation, which will provide you with more information about the upgrade process. We wish you all the best in your continued adventures.
“System upgrade?” Jarow thought. “What does that mean?”
As soon as the thought finished, Jarow felt their mind explode. There was no way to describe the pain and overload of sensations that occurred. They were simultaneously engulfed in the most immense pain they had ever experienced, as though each synapse in their brain were being torn apart. At the same time, they felt a profound detachment from their body, as if they were no longer a thinking being but a mere entity of energy.
The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
The sensation was beyond the concept of death. It was the separation of existence and non-existence, a state where they were neither alive nor dead, yet still aware of their own existence.
Before Jarow could truly comprehend what was happening, they found themselves back in their body, seated across a desk from a peculiar-looking individual. Their senses; vision, hearing, and all others, returned to them in an instant. Jarow had awakened in various bodies before, but this time, the restoration of their senses felt more like someone flipping on a light switch in a dark room, illuminating everything at once, rather than the abrupt process of self-discovery upon waking in a new form.
Blinking several times to adjust their eyes to the new light source, they surveyed their surroundings, taking in the scene before them. The world they now inhabited was unlike anything they had ever seen.
The substances, walls, floor, furniture; everything, appeared to be made of a fluffy, ethereal material, simultaneously solid and translucent, filled with sparkling lights. Blues and oranges streaked through the frozen clouds that composed this place, resembling rivers of water at dawn and sunset. Jarow found themselves mesmerized by the surreal beauty surrounding them, struggling to comprehend the sheer otherworldliness of their current environment.
Then Jarow’s eyes focused on the being 'seated' before them. It was a being beyond the bounds of Jarow’s limited comprehension. Its body seemed to ebb and flow between solidity and translucence. It was vaguely reminiscent of a jellyfish, an image of one flitting through Jarow’s mind. Yet the image didn’t truly fit; this being was more of a fantastical hybrid between a jellyfish and a turtle.
Tentacle-like appendages flowed from the upper part of the beings body or head, they undulated gracefully, as if drifting in some unseen current. The more solid frontal part of the being had what would be considered a face. There it bore the textured scales and curved beak of a turtle. The scales framed dark green eyes that seemed to hold within them intelligence and an understanding of things Jarow couldn’t yet comprehend.
Jarow's mind struggled to reconcile the alien sight before them. The being's eyes, deep pools of mossy green, held an enigmatic warmth that both comforted and disquieted Jarow in equal measure. They felt an instinctual urge to flee from the unnerving presence of this otherworldly entity, yet at the same time, a strange sense of comfort and empathy were held within its eyes.
And then there was the face, or what could be loosely described as such. A beak-like protrusion jutted forth from beneath the creature's eyes, partially concealing a mouth that remained tightly shut. The scales surrounding its face were a hue of soft blue but shimmered with what looked like glitter upon the polished scales.
Jarow's own body tensed involuntarily as they struggled to comprehend the surreal scene before them. They felt as though they were teetering on the precipice of madness, grappling with the incomprehensible nature of their surroundings after just experiencing the nothingness of the void.
Being suddenly thrown into a void after battling their way through a dungeon of deadly insects, only to be reawakened in a fantastical place such as this, was more than Jarow’s mind could deal with in such a short order. They sat there, staring, dumbfounded at all the magnificence and alienness surrounding them.
The unusual yet somewhat beautiful being then spoke to Jarow in a soothing, cooing voice, but Jarow couldn't understand a word they said. The language used sounded harsh and even more alien coming out of such a being.
"Shlumak antnotod jounoft laka'aienet roomendal?" they said, lifting their voice at the end, which Jarow’s mind interpreted as them asking a question.
"I’m sorry, I don't understand," Jarow managed to get out after realizing they once again had a voice.
The being looked down at the device it held in its hand. It was a glass rectangle which glowed with images, Jarow’s mind supplied the word, “tablet.” Its screen was visible from where Jarow sat, and the creature’s hands moved to touch the screen, swiping then tapping several times.
The being’s hands were turtle-like as well, but also resembled something akin to their own humanoid hands. The fingers were short and thick, covered in the same blue scales as its face. They could see no nails or joints in them though; it was as if the digits were more flexible cartilage and skin rather than having actual bones and joints.
It took its hand and slid a finger across the screen, then held the tablet up to Jarow’s head height where the tablet flashed as if taking a picture. Jarow squinted from the brightness.
“Your name is Jarow, yes?” The being spoke after another moment of searching on its tablet. It enunciated each word as if saying them for the first time.
“Yes,” Jarow responded meekly.
“Good, I have found the correct assignment,” the person continued to say. “Please hold while I access your information.” The creature’s voice was a strange mix of being almost sing-song but at the same time choppy and staccato.
Jarow couldn’t tell if the being in front of them was male or female. The voice was a midrange which could have belonged to either gender. At this point, they didn’t know what gender they would be considered either. The strangeness of the situation had even caused their mind to change their own pronouns to gender-neutral they’s and them’s.
Jarow didn't know what else they could do but hold on to the chair. They looked around the room again and realized that the wall behind the turtle-jellyfish-hybrid looking creature was actually a window. There wasn't much of a difference between it and the walls, but the view was clearer, devoid of the orange and blue streaks, and somewhat more transparent.
Jarow looked out the window, their eyes tracing the streaks of orange and blue that ran through the walls of the other rooms like distant glowing rivers. Each room contained a person who looked just like them: slender, hairless, and genderless. They sat in silence, their faces devoid of expression, each paired with a similar tentacled, turtle-like creature. Jarow couldn't help but think that they must all be as scared and confused as they were.
"Human, yes," the person across the desk finally said, looking up from Jarow's file. "And you've had several other forms lately as well? Only ten days? That is very fast indeed,"
Jarow didn’t understand what they meant by fast. It hadn’t seemed fast while they were living it. They just nodded, not understanding what was going on. Their body felt tense, and their nerves were on edge.
“Okay, I have many questions, but I’ve got the general feel of your case now. My original client was supposed to be a Sneliazik, but somehow you and he were mixed up or in the incorrect order. I’m sorry for the confusion. My name is Shayri, and I will be assisting with your transition. Congratulations, by the way, on completing the beginner’s trial,” Shayri spoke at first to herself, then brought her eyes up to look at Jarow as she explained her initial language barrier.
Jarow heard the words and knew what they meant, but their brain wasn’t quite up to putting them all together. They looked blankly back at Shayri.
Shayri continued, unaware of the depth of Jarow’s confusion. “The transition from a general attribute and skill-based system can be quite jarring and confusing at first, so I will explain the basics to you. Please feel free to stop and ask questions when necessary.”
Jarow nodded to affirm they had heard, though they still weren’t sure if they were totally comprehending. “If this is something that’s going to affect my future self, or selves, then I should probably focus. It’s just so much change in such a short amount of time,” they thought to themselves, unsure if they could keep up with what Shayri was about to explain.
“Excellent. You will be learning to use a new class-based system now. In your previous iteration, there were no actual classes, just skills and abilities in which you could gain access to,” Shayri began her obviously rehearsed speech. “Your new system will still have some similarities, but will be much more diverse, as well as offering the chance to specialize or focus on one’s talents.”
Jarow raised a hand.
Shayri paused and made an unusual facial contortion. Jarow didn’t truly understand what the odd look he was given meant, but felt like the equivalent would have been a raised eyebrow or tilt of the head as if in confusion.
“Yes, Jarow, do you have a question?” Shayri asked after a moment.
“Yes, ma… I mean, yes, I do,” Jarow said, almost calling Shayri "ma'am."
“Then speak your inquiry; there is no need for physical movements to cause me to pause,” Shayri said.
“Oh, Ok,” Jarow said and lowered their arm. “Where is Xinpo?”
Shayri looked down at her tablet and scrolled through a few pages. “Ahh, yes. This being was your companion. Not all qualifiers are lucky enough to find someone to assist them. The dimensional being will be returned to you if they choose to journey beyond the training area.”
“Training area?” Jarow’s mind questioned. So this entire time, the Liminal Divide, the strange planet, the dungeon; they were all just part of a training area? “What was I training for?”
“He has to choose to come with me?” Jarow asked before Shayri could continue.
“Yes,” Shayri replied. “These assistants are placed throughout the training area, or the Liminal Divide as it is colloquially referred to. Once they have successfully delivered the applicants through to the next level, they are generally placed back within the rotation. However, they do have the opportunity to continue on with their adventurer if they so choose. If they do, they lose the chance to continue their existence beyond the lifespan of the person they choose to accompany.”
Jarow was dumbstruck. They liked Xinpo. They thought a bond had formed, and they would continue their journey together. Now they wondered if the blade would choose to go with them or not. Honestly, they weren’t sure if they wanted Xinpo to do so if it meant he would die if he did.
Xinpo would be giving up the chance to work with others, to extend his lifespan. Jarow wasn’t sure if they were worthy to even wish for Xinpo to choose them. Did they even have the right to wish for a companion like Xinpo?
Shayri continued after the pause while Jarow thought to himself. “To begin with the new class-based system, you will be allocated a set number of attribute points which you can choose to distribute in any pattern to your liking.”
“Furthermore, attribute points can now be earned both at levels, but also as rewards for pushing the boundaries of the attribute. So if you want to raise an attribute like strength, you can push your body and earn attribute points in that fashion. More ethereal attributes such as perception can be more difficult to accumulate, but when finding unique ways to use the attribute’s general abilities, points will be awarded.”
Jarow had a general idea of what Shayri was talking about. His newly acquired memories of gaming allowed him to better visualize and understand the way the attribute point and class sytem worked.
Shayri continued, "Abilities will no longer have a wide range. They will be tailored to the class which you choose. The number and variability of classes are many, but have been limited due to your performance in the training area. We'll discuss those shortly."
"Skills will still remain broad, but basic skills will no longer need to be chosen. You will be equipped with a basic knowledge of how to harvest, cook, forage, hunt, and other basic survival skills. You will also have access to more advanced basics. You will know how to operate most electronic devices, including how to drive or fly. Basic language skills such as reading and writing are included, as well as a universal translator."
Jarow was growing concerned as Shayri continued. It seemed this person’s species didn’t find it necessary to breathe since the words tumbled out without pause.
“Do you comprehend all that I have covered thus far?” Shayri finally asked.
Jarow almost took a breath for her. “I think so.”
“Do you have any further questions?” she asked.
Jarow thought about the subjects covered thus far and understood what the being had been talking about. They definitely had a lot of questions, but those would probably be better asked after they had gotten through this explanation.
“I do, but not about this subject. Will there be time to ask later?” Jarow said in a weak voice.
The blue-scaled creature smiled. At least Jarow thought it smiled. With the beak covering the mouth, it was difficult to see the shape of it underneath. “Yes, there will be time,” Shayri answered.
Then her well-practiced speech continued. "Attributes will also be changing. Instead of the standard variables of strength, dexterity, wisdom, etc., a more comprehensive set will be in use. The physical stats will be separated into three categories: Power, Durability, and Mobility. Power determines your strength, durability relates to your health, and mobility takes the place of dexterity for the most part."
"Mental stats will change as well. Their new descriptors will be Perception, Willpower, and Judgment. Perception is an inclusive stat. It takes into account knowledge gained, but also the awareness you have and how that knowledge is used."
"Willpower influences how much you can resist, as well as the strength of certain magics. Judgment takes the place of wisdom and can help in many situations, not just with your mana pool."
"The last two stats are the unquantifiable ones. They remain unchanged from the previous version but become much more important from here on out. They are Charisma and Luck."
"Charisma will assist in almost all interactions with others now, from dealing with merchants to team makeup. Luck, as you most likely already know, cannot be added to by stat points alone. It accumulates through bonuses and items and plays a larger role as you progress through your new life."
As Shayri finished, she turned her tablet around for Jarow to see. An image of the new attributes appeared on the screen, with a plus and minus sign next to each, except for Charisma and Luck.
“You receive forty points to begin with. These are distributable within your attributes. You were able to gain an additional fifty points for completing the training area in such a rapid time and,” Shayri paused, looking at the screen again. “Oh, an additional point to Luck and two additional distributable points from the Oonja. Good going. Very few get that bonus.”
Jarow’s mind was swirling with questions and confusion. There was too much information for him to process in such a short amount of time. Finally, he voiced the burning question that had plagued him since arriving in this strange new place.
“Is this a game? I mean, I thought this was my new life, but with all the numbers and things, it really feels like I'm being placed in a virtual world or something.”
Shayri emitted a sound that Jarow interpreted as a laugh. It was more guttural than he expected, akin to a deep, repetitive hiccup. “I assure you, this is your new life.”
The answer both reassured and shocked Jarow. Secretly, he had hoped this was all a game, that he could somehow wake up and return to a real life of simply being a person, not a character with stats and classes. Yet, if he were honest with himself, he didn’t know what a real life was like anymore.
With a sigh, Jarow nodded. “Okay, but it sounds like I'm supposed to do something, fight something, or reach a goal of some kind. Is this new life supposed to be like that?”
Shayri tilted her head, glanced down at the tablet, then back at Jarow. “You act like you don’t know why you are here.”
“Because I don’t. I know I had a life before. But my memory only extends to when I woke up in the Liminal Divide. I made it through there, I guess, but I have no idea what’s going on now,” Jarow said, his voice tinged with exhaustion. Mentally drained, he slumped in the chair, his doll-like body mirroring his fatigue.
Shayri withdrew slightly, her gaze returning to the tablet. Then, setting down the tablet, she reached into a drawer of the desk at which she sat. From the drawer, she pulled out what appeared to Jarow as a fantasy ray gun.
The device was pistol-shaped, with glowing rings encircling the short barrel-like part. The end of the barrel flared outward like a small bowl or dish, with a small antenna protruding from the middle and a glowing ball at its tip.
Without any preamble or hesitation, the being who had just been explaining how Jarow’s new life was supposed to work took aim at Jarow’s head and pulled the trigger.