It will come as a surprise to absolutely no one that we are back in a laundromat. Why would the DimShop have something that looks like a laundromat ripped out of the eighties is beyond me; it isn't the most nonsensical event of the day.
I glance at the huddled elves, who are all wearing cheap gray sportswear they bought on our way to the laundromat. Their armor is currently tumbling into the industrial-grade machines this rundown place has available for some reason. The washing machine itself is big enough for a small car to fit through. Furthermore, the armor of the elves can be folded on itself into a rather discreet, albeit cumbersome, backpack. The transformation did make the armor-turned-backpacks ooze half-dried elf puke out of every joint, but that was unavoidable.
What's shocking is how small the elves are. I thoughts they would be towering over me, but they all have slender frames and are about the same height as Yoshiko.
To put it simply, we were attacked by elves wearing power armor. Their power armor was stylized like a generic fantasy armor. I bet the reason is something incredibly stupid. They probably copied the design from one of their favorite video game.
I want off this wild ride, but something tells me that it is too late to go back.
The leader of the elves, now looking less like a sewer monster and more like an actual elf thanks to a plethora of cleaning spells, let out a deep breath. "Anyway," she says as she does her best to avoid my gaze. I'm not staring at her because I want to be an asshole, but because I'm wondering why we are even here in the first place. I originally planned on leaving them alone and go on with my day, but Yoshiko decided otherwise. She wanted to make sure that 'they learned their lesson' and 'showed proper repentance for their devilish actions.'
In other words, she was somewhat worried about them. It looks like their rivalry is just friendly banter put through Yoshiko-speak rather than actual animosity between the Alpha Team and the Knights.
But that still doesn't explain why we are in a laundromat. The elves have the means to clean the mess they made, so why bother with a laundromat? Something tells me I shouldn't ask; I bet they'll babble on and on about some bullshit nonexistent elvish tradition.
"I'm Laura Woods, as most of you should know," she makes a sideways glance at me before focusing on the white tiled floor that has seen better days. I can't help but raise an eyebrow; her name is way too normal. I was expecting something more exotic, something more fantasy-like. But no, the trans-dimensional elf has a name that wouldn't look out of place on a middle-aged cashier from the local mall. "I'm sorry for all of this." She says as she lowers her head.
She better be sorry. That Breach could have solved my monetary problems. But no, the elf had to act out and get us kicked out of a coffee shop of all places. For crying out loud, Avryl wields a kinda-nuclear death ray! I also have weapons that fire projectiles denser than most stars, Yoshiko could probably exorcise Satan without much effort, and Sword... Well, Sword has his qualities. And yet nobody thought for even one moment that potentially pissing off such a group would have any consequences.
Don't get me wrong, I have no plans of burning down the small shop because I'm not a savage. I think most of us aren't, even if I still have my doubts about Sword. But the fact that this kind of thing must happen so often that a random waitress kicks us out without batting an eye is impressive. It is also a bit depressing for a lot of other reasons.
I bet the 'Authorities' mentioned during the confrontation with the CMA idiots are probably the reason why the DimShop isn't a lawless murderfest. I'll have to look into it when I have the time, but I'll either forget or be too busy with something nonsensical to look it up.
"You know we didn't mean any harm. I admit we did get a bit carried away, and I can't blame your new member for not knowing." Laura says. "Congratulations on your new team member, by the way. Getting hold of a new one is hard these days." She then looks at the other elves, who all have lifeless eyes as they stare at the humming washing machine.
Maybe the trauma I caused is deeper than I first thought. What am I saying? I bet they will recover quickly!
...Even I don't believe myself when I say that.
"Yoshiko and I met on an online game," Laura explains. "We hit it off and met a few times after that. All the members of the Knights are from the same guild on that game."
I see. they liked playing fantasy games, so they thought of doing it in real life. That still doesn't explain why there are elves on Earth, but that's a question I'll answer on my own time once I buy another Terminal.
"So why were you at the coffee shop, and why did you make such a mess? Couldn't you have let us have this Breach? Maybe say hi or something and go on your way to another Breach?" I ask while crossing my arms. Friends or not, their antics did cost us Credits.
Her pointy ears lower, "I— We are sorry. Listen, I think we can make it up to you."
I raise an eyebrow, "What, are you going to compensate us for the loss of the Breach?"
A faint smirk appears on Laura's face, "Even better. We found something that could make all of us very rich."
The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
"You can't be serious," one of the elves raises his head. "Leader, we worked so hard for this. We can't hand it over to some random bastard!"
I turn my head towards the elf and narrow my eyes, "Do you want another free ride on the Vomit Express?"
That shuts him up almost instantly. Swimming into his own vomit probably changes a man. Or elf, whatever. But I'm more interested in what Laura has to say. I take a deep breath; I should not expect anything from her. I'm willing to bet that her supposed treasure is some worthless trinket that happens to look cool. Of course, I'm using Yoshiko's definition of cool.
"You know that a Breach is rather small and short-lived." She says. I nod, so the elven woman continues, "But what if it wasn't the case? What if a massive, long-lived Breach existed. What if this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity was something we could grasp?"
Having access to a Breach sized like the DimShop would make me incredibly rich. But that sounds too good to be true. If something like this truly existed, then it would have been picked clean by larger groups a long time ago.
"A multi-layered Breach?" Avryl exclaims. "That's impossible," the Artificer declares. "They are only a theory. Not to mention that the chances for all the conditions to be right are so low," her voice trails off as Laura smirks.
"As low as the chances are, they are still there." The leader of the Knights looks at me, and a faint smile creeps on her face.
"What's a multi-layered Breach?" I ask before the conversation goes any further. I can infer from the name that it might be a larger than usual Breach, but that's it. Furthermore, the naming sense of the magical world is such that I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't related to the nature of the Breach at all.
"'Tis a good question," Yoshiko chimes in. "You know that gates to hell appear at random locations due to certain weaknesses in the fabric of reality?"
That was already explained to me, so I nod.
"Now imagine that a large number of them happen at the same time, at the same place." The Demon Slayer says.
That doesn't help me understand why it would be a good thing; wouldn't the Breaches overwrite each other?
"The theory says the Breaches would fuse and form a sort of pseudo-dimension." Avryl, who must have noticed my confused expression, explains. "Or they could react with each other and cause a chain reaction that makes them collapse in an instant. Some models even show that the resulting reaction would cause damage to the dimension that the Breaches are attached to."
"How much damage?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. That doesn't sound reassuring, at least I hope it—
"It ranges from minor vibrations to total dimensional collapse." Avryl destroys all the hopes I had with one simple sentence.
This is a disaster. If this mega Breach appears then it's going to destroy the DimShop, and me along with the entire fucking dimension. From my experience, everything that can go wrong in the magical world always goes wrong in the worst possible way.
I need to escape this place as soon as possible. Screw the waffle iron, screw this place! I look around, should I run now or—
"Pei!" Laura makes a spitting sound, "That's not going to happen. I'll tell you what's going to happen due to my superior elven understanding!" I glance at her, and all her bravado disappears from her as quickly as it appeared.
"Ahem. Like I said before, this is unlikely to happen. I can almost guarantee that the Super-Artifact theory is what's going to happen." The elf declares.
That somehow sounds even worse. Why am I still here, I have to escape before it's too late! I just have to discreetly step away, and—
"Can you imagine the price of the Super-Artifact? It must be worth a billion Credits at the very least." The elf continues her explanation.
On second thought, let's hear what she has to say.
After all, the chances of having the entire dimension collapse on us are low. It's also just a theory, so it might be wrong.
There's no reason to panic because of some silly theories...Right?
"What's the Super-Artifact theory?" I ask.
"A Breach usually has a powerful item in it. Some say that the Breaches form around these items. So, what would happen when all these Breaches fuse?" Laura answers with another question.
I shrug, "If the Breaches combine then I guess the items would combine too?" My answer makes the elven woman nod in affirmation. Gaining an artifact worth billions of Credits sounds incredible. But the earlier discussion showed that nobody knows what will happen when the Breaches collide. Hell, there's no guarantee that it will happen in the first place.
"What makes you so certain about the existence of the Super-Artifact? Not to mention that nothing is guaranteeing that the apparition of multiple Breaches will happen." I voice my concerns. "And why should I trust you? Wouldn't it make sense for you all to keep that to yourselves? If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't even mention it. Or I would intentionally misdirect the other team as far away from this supposed multi-layered Breach as possible to make sure that I get all the loot."
"I—" the elven woman opens and closes her mouth, "Do you take me for the sort of underhanded fiend who would employ such trickery?"
"You tried to scam the waitress by buying her silence with a bag of rocks." I shoot her down immediately.
Laura's cheeks redden, "L-Listen here! Those were very nice rocks! We put our souls into picking the best ones!" she says as she clenches her fists.
"Do you have any idea how much our leader suffered to collect those precious minerals? You knave!" the elf who intervened earlier snaps back, and I look at him without any emotions before pointing at the washing machine. "Look, you can see your armor being washed in there. Does that remind you of something?"
The elf pales as his gaze follows my finger. He clenches his fists and sits down while doing his best to calm the tremors coursing through his body.
"That's what I thought," I say as I focus back on Laura. Why did that elven man choose to intervene for something as idiotic like which rocks they picked off the sidewalk is beyond me.
"Do you have any idea how hard it is to pick rocks with our heavy armors? You uncultured swine!" another female member of the Knights speaks up.
I turn towards Yoshiko. The Japanese woman takes a deep breath, "Ian. You must not be aware, but the Knights have a long history of spelunking and cave exploring. 'Tis a tradition that runs deep in their blood!"
"Yeah, that's right! Don't disrespect the spelunking club!" the elven woman shouts before turning towards the chief of the Alpha Team, "You know our long traditions!"
What are they talking about? And how is it relevant to the discussion? And I thought they were knights, not a— You know what; I give up. Yoshiko and the elven woman are having a heated discussion about rocks while Laura looks over her subordinate with pride.
I sit on a nearby white plastic bench and look at the ground.
"Sword," the barbarian says.
"I know," I reply as I lean on the wall and close my eyes.
This must be a bad dream. I need to wake up soon.