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Remembering you

I met my rival on a Tuesday. I don’t remember the year, but it was the one after daddy got promoted to teach linguistics at the academy, and Hikari relapsed.

I spent all night next to my little sister, watching her tiny chest rise and fall as she slept with the help of yet another new machine. I planned on sneaking back to the dorms later that night, but by the time I opened my eyes again, the sun was shining into them.

After the instructor finished chewing me out for being late to roll call, the cafeteria was crowded. One hundred uniformed bodies, crammed under a metallic roof, reeked like a hotpot of hormones and sweat and boiled eggs. I felt almost glad that there were no empty seats, and headed towards the exit with my metal tray balanced on one hand.

The steel doors began sliding open as I stepped forward, just as someone else charged in.

“Fuck!”

We fell to the sticky floor, a tangle of limbs and hair and food, spilling everything everywhere. I landed hard on my ass, lava burning through my skirt. “Argh! Shit!”

The girl scrambled up and pulled me to my feet. "Shoot, my bad," she said, smushing a fistful of crumbled tissues against the stains on my chest. I slapped her hand away.

“Yea, it is,” I snapped, and felt the back of my uniform, fighting the urge to scowl at anyone foolish enough to glance my way. But when my hand came back wet and brown, I forgot all about keeping cool.

“Yo, what the fuck is this?!”

I stuck my fingers under the girl’s nose, as if wanting her to smell it. "Tell me this isn't what it looks like."

The girl gave me a funny look. "What do you mean?"

I stared at her in hostile silence until the girl shrugged. Then before I could react, she leaned close and licked my fingers, like a cat.

“W-what the fuck are you doing?” I leaped back, almost slipping on the ruins of my breakfast. "A-are you challenging me?"

“I thought you wanted me to check.” The girl smirked, and it made those fingers she licked twitch. “Nope, it's just coffee.”

“What…” I swallowed, sneaking a glance at the number embroiled on the girl's shoulder, “...is coffee supposed to be?”

Her number was only a single digit higher than mine, which meant we'd be more or less equals in a scrap. This was rare, and not in a good way.

The girl shook her head. “That’s not very important right now. I have a spare uniform in my locker.” She gave me a quick up-and-down. “It’ll fit. Probably. Come with me.”

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Yue’li grimaces at the pained expression on Elevena’s face.

“It’s still in the testing phase,” she explains, trying not to seem as rejected as she feels. “I dug up an old bag filled with these little dried-up berries when I was cleaning the storage the other day. I only found out they’re called ‘Coffea berries’ after a merchant friend told me.” She swirls the mug in her hands, the dark liquid inside churning like a whirlpool of death. “It’s apparently poisonous to humans in large quantities, but don’t worry, what I’ve given you is only a fraction of the concentration I usually drink.”

“I can’t imagine how yours taste then,” Elevena mumbles as she takes another sip. She winces again, and tries to hide it by turning away. “It smelled so nice from the kitchen. How can it taste so much like…”

“Burnt dirt?”

“Like stale coffee beans mixed with a generous helping of top-quality soil.” The tip of Eleven's tongue is poking out as she speaks, and it makes her look very adorable, not someone capable of crippling four grown and armed men by herself.

“Yea, there are a lot of kinks I need to work through," Yue’li says, trying not to shudder as she recalls the alleyway incident. She holds the cup to her nose and lets the aroma calm her. A few deep breaths later, her entire body is kicking itself awake. “Hey, did you know?" she asks Elevena, "Coffea berries were once used in some medicines back when the War first started, in parts of Gandolia where healers and potions weren’t readily available."

Elevena nods. "And now?"

"Now..." Yue'li feels her smile faltering back into another apologetic grimace. "Now they’re mostly used as mulch, or in some rare cases, flavoring. Most of them just gather dust on the very bottom of a merchant's cart.”

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Elevena is quiet, staring off into the distance like she’s daydreaming, or bored. She's been like that ever since Yue'li offered her a cup of coffea, acting distracted like a part of her isn't even here.

“Anyway,” Yue’li says, “I’ve found that these berries smell amazing when they’re dried and grounded, and they can really pack a punch if you eat them, probably because of their medicinal properties or something. I’m not sure about the science behind it.” She takes a sip of her concoction, and the bitterness makes her tongue go numb. “If ohnly it tastsh as goo ast shmells.”

The corners of Elevena’s eyes crinkle just a little as she turns her attention back to Yue’li. “No one has made a drink like this before? Anywhere?” She isn’t smiling, not really, but her words are friendly enough.

“I don’t know about anywhere,” says Yue’li, spitting out flakes of burnt coffea. “But when I first started experimenting, I pestered the spice merchants in the market for weeks, trying to get tips on how to best mush the berries. I was told time and again that it was crazy for me to be using poisonous fruits to make drinks, and I will get myself sent to the north, blah, blah. If you don’t drink too much of it at once, there’s not enough poison in them to actually kill you.”

“You mush them?”

“Not anymore.” Yue’li gets up and goes to the counter. “I’ll show you.” She comes back with the bowl of ground coffea. “Look at this.” She points at the dusting clinging to the steel. “See how it’s a powder form? This is what’s inside the berries after you’ve dried and peeled them.” She gives Elevena a wink. “Now don’t go spreading this around. I’m pretty sure I’m the first one to discover this.”

Something happens to Elevena’s face that Yue’li hasn’t seen before. Her blue eyes seem to catch fire, and a ghost of a smile hints at her pink lips, making her look like a different person. “You mean, no one else has gotten this far?” she asks, running a finger along the rim of the bowl, through the powder.

“Um, not that I know of,” Yue’li says. “Why?”

“Have you tried adding milk to this? Or sugar?” Elevena rubs her fingers together, studying them intently. “Or… God forbid, butter?”

“Um, no. Yes. No, I mean,” Yue’li answers the strange questions with considerable difficulty. “I’ve tried a few different spices, but not butter. As for milk and sugar, we don’t have enough of either for me to experiment with.” She feels herself deflate as she goes on. “I know, what’s a bakery without the things that make bread. You’ve probably noticed, but we don’t get a lot of customers. I told you that I have a job at the guild, but I’m just a grunt so I don’t earn enough to even buy the necessities.” She sighs, putting down her cup of insanity. “And that’s why Beth has to try so hard with different, lesser quality ingredients. Such as Goblin Toes.”

Elevena’s eyes widen. “Please tell me that’s the name of a plant.”

Yue’li shakes her head slowly. “I wish it were,” she says, wanting to laugh at the expression on Elevena’s face, but when she opens her mouth, something like a sob comes out instead. Startled, Yue’li clasps a hand over her mouth and turns away, just in time to feel her eyes sting.

“Yue’li?” Elevena's voice is tentative, concerned. Her chair squeaks as she stands.

“It’s all my fault,” Yue’li says, rubbing her eyes as if she can make the tears go away before they can fall, before Elevena can see them. “Some days, I wish I can just hack them off with an ax.”

“What are you talking about?”

“My horns.” Yue’li points to her head. “There’s a reason I don’t have any mirrors in my room.”

Thick, black, and wickedly pointed on each end, Yue’li’s horns curve upwards from each side of her head, rising like two twisted tree branches. She’s already lost count of how many times she’s tried to cut them off or dull them, but every time she gets to the point of drawing blood, the pain is enough to make her faint. “I hate them,” she starts to say, but Elevena cuts her off firmly.

“That’s ridiculous, they’re very cute.”

Yue’li feels the top of her head being stroked, in the space between her horns.

“I don’t know what the problem is really,” says Elevena. “You look like a little dragon. That’s not wrong, that’s adorable. Do you have wings as well? Because where I’m from, a dragon-loli is the very definition of ‘moe’, and you won’t believe how many fans you’d have. Trust me. I’d be one of your biggest supporters, not that I’m not one already.”

Yue’li leans away. “Thank you, I guess,” she says uncertainly. “But, um, what does ‘moe’ mean?”

“Oh, uh.” Elevena seems to flounder, and the girliest blush colors her cheeks then. “It’s a term of endearment my people used to use, back in the day. It means I have strong affection for you, in an… idealistic kind of way?”

“You sure do have weird sayings in Overlake,” Yue’li remarks, trying to ignore the hand-shaped coldness on her head. “What about ‘loli’? What does that mean?”

“It is…” Elevena frowns. “Honestly? I’m not sure how I even know what it means. I have no idea how that word even made it out my mouth.”

Yue’li laughs. "You’re strange, Elevena." Then after a pause, she adds quietly, “But a very nice person. I feel better already. Thank you.”

“Good, good. Mission accomplished, then,” Elevena says with an awkward chuckle. She goes back to her seat and starts to stare again into the distance.

The silence stretches. Yue’li studies a speck of dust floating on the surface of her coffea water as she gathers the composure she's lost. She wants to be patted again, but asking for it seems... desperate. And creepy.

“Do you have yaojins in Overlake?” she asks finally, hoping her voice doesn't sound as thin as it feels. “I've never been outside Kesrock, but from the way you speak, it makes me imagine your hometown to be very different from the rest of Gandolia. Could being so far east and close to the sea have something to do with it?”

Elevena nods slowly. “There's at least one elf in Overlake. Her name is Aralyn. She's actually a half-elf, I think. I'm not sure.”

“That’s a nice name. Is she your slave?”

A red flash tightens across Elevena's eyes, and in that split instant Yue'li sees something terrible behind them, something that makes her apologize immediately.

“That’s just what I assumed, since this is Gandolia and all. I’m so sorry, I don’t mean to upset you, really. Overlake must be more progressive than I thought. Of course it is, with words like moe and loli. Sorry, I should’ve thought before I spoke.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Elevena replies, shaking her head from side to side like she's trying to dislodge something. "I just..." She touches a finger to her temple. "I just have a bit of a headache, that's all."

“Could it be from the coffea?” With her own experience of being poisoned still too fresh in her mind, Yue’li springs up and reaches for Elevena's cup. “This batch turned out horribly," she says, trying to smile to cover up her fear of poisoning the person she's supposed to be repaying. "I over-ground the berries. Darn, and I made so much, too. You don’t have to force yourself to drink the rest.” Her fingers have just barely grazed the metallic handle when it disappears from sight.

“Wait just a minute,” Elevena says, holding the cup Yue'li is sure was just on the table. "I need to try something."

Before Yue'li can figure out what that 'something' is, all of the coffea is going down Elevena's throat in one, unhindered stream of black liquid.