"We'll have to move our trip to the Land of Hot Water back, although that shouldn't matter too much in the end," I said, eyeing the trees. "Chino isn't going to attack anybody for at least half a decade—the family reunion can wait a few more months."

"It's okay," Ranmaru said, "I understand."

"Oh, I see; when it's Karenbana's fault, you're all 'it's okay,' and 'I understand,'" I complained, waving my hands around. "But I hit you with one little Kubikiribōchō, and I never hear the end of it."

"It's a giant sword," Ranmaru said in his defense. "It's even bigger than you are."

"You take that back," I cried, lunging at him. "Nothing's bigger than I am, you little—"

Ranmaru evaded the lunge, curving back around to put Karenbana between the two of us, and when she turned to look at me, I huffed. The west side of the Land of Waterfalls was far less dense, and after a few days of travel, we'd actually managed to discover a real road—heading even further west, which wasn't really the direction we wanted to go, but I was hoping it would turn south eventually.

"Despite being a bunch of amazing heroes, we're actually going to be in quite a precarious situation when we get to Konohagakure," I said, "We're also going to have to actually start engaging in some serious information control—Ranmaru, that means you need to be careful, because shinobi are tricky, and they will pretend to know things they don't in order to make you slip up."

"Okay," Ranmaru said, leaning forward enough to see around Karenbana. "Is there something I should avoid saying in particular?"

"Don't mention anything about Itachi, Sasuke, Obito, Madara, or any of the Akatsuki that I've told you about unless I give you direct permission," I said. "It's going to be one of our main points of negotiation, and it would be really, really bad if that gets messed up."

"I won't say anything," Ranmaru promised.

"What exactly are we going to be negotiating for?" Karenbana asked.

I considered ignoring the question entirely, but they probably should have some idea of the angle I was going for.

"Primarily, I'll be negotiating for Emmisary status for myself and us to become Konohagakure shinobi," I said, "Through that, I intend to make several other demands, ones that won't really be possible if we don't fulfil that first condition."

Ranmaru seemed completely unbothered by the words, but Karenbana was visibly uncomfortable.

"What are the demands?" Karenbana asked.

"The first thing I want is for someone to teach you how to do the Shadow Clone Technique," I said, "It's something that will allow you to gather natural energy while you're fighting—when they dispel, both the chakra and natural energy they've accumulated will return to you, renewing the length of your Sage Mode."

I turned to look past her towards where Ranmaru was still watching me.

"The second thing I want is to get you both some individual training from several different shinobi instructors—there is a genjutsu expert in Konohagakure called Kurenai, who you could both learn a lot from," I said, "There's also Kakashi, who knows just about every elemental technique his enemies have ever made the mistake of throwing at him, Asuma Sarutobi who knows a lot about Wind Release, and Might Gai who is pretty much the best taijutsu master in the world."

"Training and techniques," Karenbana said, voice quiet. "Is that worth the risk of putting ourselves in their control?"

"Tsunade of the Sannin is a good leader; Kakashi will be their next one—provided we deal with Danzo first—and then after that, Naruto will take power himself," I said, catching her eye. "There isn't a better village in the world, and you'll both have a place to call home once all of this is finally over."

Karenbana glanced away at that.

"What else?" Ranmaru asked.

"Their cooperation and direct assistance in regards to a handful of the threats we need to deal with," I said before pausing. "I also intend on demanding that the three of us get to participate in a very specific Chunin Exam as a three-man team."

"I'm already a Chunin," Karenbana said, scrunching her face up. "He's only about as strong as an academy student, and you are not even a shinobi at all."

"Well, you haven't sparred with him in five months, and he's way stronger now cause I'm a way better instructor," I bragged, "Besides, there is no rule that says you have to be a shinobi to participate in the exam."

"Yes, there is, idiot," Karenbana said, annoyed. "But that's not what I'm talking about—"

"I've been blowing the knees off of chunin since you were still building sandcastles in Moon," I said, puffing my chest up and budging up against her shoulder in an attempt to bully her. "You want to go, little bean? You never even went to shinobi school, so you're not really even a genin, and here you are, running around pretending to be a chunin. Are you even regulation size or what—urk."

I fell behind for a minute, doubled over and held my gut in an attempt to get air back into my lungs. Ranmaru and Karenbana continued on without stopping in an absolutely disgusting show of comradery.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," I managed, "Keep walking."

I caught back up to them a minute later, my strides eating up the distance until we were once again walking in a line down the road.

"Like I was saying, joining the Chunin Exam is downstream from getting them to let us join their military," I said, clearing my throat. "The point of it is for us to get close to the Green-Haired-Girl before she gets eaten alive by Kakazu and Hidan—and seeing as that's the last time she was ever seen alive, we're going to need to follow her back to Takigakure after it's all over."

"Why would her entourage let us follow them?" Karenbana frowned. "Takigakure is supposed to be one of the Hidden Villages that are actually hidden—we know the area it's in, but they'll never let us inside."

"If we get that far, then I will be acting as an Emissary of both Konohagakure and the Land of Moon under the pretence of brokering a trade deal," I said, "We will probably have to agree to whatever security measures they want, but it shouldn't really matter—because we'll encounter Akatsuki before we even get there."

"They attack her on the way back to Takigakure?" Karenbana asked.

Kakuzu was a monster that could kill about ninety-nine percent of the shinobi on the planet in direct one-on-one combat and was likely the strongest shinobi to ever come out of Takigakure by a large margin. He would also know the layout of the village, the critical points, and the way in. Even without Hidan tagging along, Kakuzu could probably destroy the entire village on his own—but the worst thing about him was that he was smart.

"I don't actually know where they attack her," I admitted, "But strategy tells me they'll do it while she's outside of the village and unprotected—fighting every shinobi in Takigakure at once is probably something they'll attempt to avoid, but it's not a sure bet."

#

I sat on the sidelines and watched as the two of them did their best to kick the living shit out of each other. Without genjutsu, Ranmaru was forced to contest her in an area where she had almost every advantage over him. Karenbana was bigger—although the word seemed pretty strong considering their respective heights—faster, more skilled, and with far more battle experience. Ranmaru's dojutsu was the only thing keeping him in the match, granting him enough insight to allow him to start moving early enough to keep ahead of her.

He was, however, entirely stuck on the defensive, and the calm with which he'd started the encounter was slowly wearing away as the fight grew long. Even then, I'd seen the speed at which Karenbana could move—or rather, I still struggled to see her as more than a blur when she was moving at full speed—and it was clear enough that she was holding back here. Still, Ranmaru had come a long way since I dragged him out of a curry shop in the Land of Rivers—

Name: Ranmaru

Title: None.

Gender: Male.

Age: 11

Level: 101

Next Level: 97.78%

Health Points: 1640/1640

Chakra Points: 4480/4480

Status Effects: None.

Emotions: Excitement.

History: Ranmaru was born in the Land of Water and orphaned at a young age. Ranmaru is a distant descendant of the Chinoike clan and possesses a mutated variation of the Ketsuryūgan. Ranmaru is a summoner of the Eagles and the current wielder of Kiba. Ranmaru is a devoted follower.

Ranmaru was almost as strong as Sakura had been back in the Land of Moon when I first arrived—although he definitely had a few advantages that let him punch above his weight class. Being able to wield Kiba to a decent level made him pretty dangerous, but his illusions were the main problem. We'd tested it already, and Karenbana hadn't been able to break free, even after we'd left Genjutsu Tree Village behind. Just like what I remembered from his brief battle of the eyes with Neji, the illusions Ranmaru created simply endured the attempts to dispel them, reasserting themselves nearly instantly.

I was curious to see how they stacked up against the Sharingan—Chino, with her non-mutated Ketsuryugan, had managed to mess Sasuke up pretty badly on several occasions with her genjutsu. I'd have to put it on the list of things to ask Kakashi about because while he wasn't a genjutsu type, seeing how a Sharingan resisted it would be informative. I turned my attention to Karenbana and watched as she deflected Ranmaru's last-ditch rush of attacks as he fought to turn the tide of the battle back in his favour.

Name: Karenbana

Title: Last of the Uemon Clan

Gender: Female

Age: 22

Level: 256

Next Level: 33.33%

Health Points: 4950/4950

Chakra Points: 5120/5120

Status Effects: None.

Emotions: Fascination.

History: Karenbana is the last surviving member of the Uemon Clan. Karenbana is the sole summoner of the Chameleons, and through them, she has learned Senjutsu, a rare form of energy manipulation. Karenbana is the current wielder of Fujaku Hishō Shōken. Karenbana is a devoted follower.

Ranmaru buckled as Karenbana buried her knee in his gut, folding over it entirely as she followed through, lifting him off the ground. She pressed the edge of her hand against the back of his neck, signalling the end of the bout. I watched as she let him down with much more care now that the fighting had officially stopped.

"You have gotten much faster," Karenbana said, crouching down beside him as Ranmaru struggled to draw air into his lungs. "Your technique, however, is only a little bit better than when I left—have you been practising?"

Ranmaru couldn't quite manage an answer yet, but she waited patiently until he could.

"I practice every day," Ranmaru managed, "I don't have a chance to spar with it because he doesn't fight like you do."

Karenbana glanced over at me for a moment, and I grinned. It was hard to put all that tricky stuff into practice with the size disparity between us, and my ceaseless attempts to grab him didn't really give him much chance to practice finesse—It did, however, do wonders for his evasion skills.

"I'd say you're at the point of genin level taijutsu," Karenbana said, "Mostly because of how fast you are, but you're not nearly as strong as you should be—we'll have to adjust your exercises to try and fix that."

"He can start carrying Kubikiribōchō for me," I said, chiming in. "Good training and absolutely hilarious to look at—it's the best of both worlds."

They both ignored me entirely.

"Have you been working on your chakra control?" Karenbana asked.

"I can water-walk without much conscious effort now," Ranmaru said, "I usually meditate with the Moonstone every night before bed as well."

I beamed as he used my nickname for the meteorite.

"That's the thing that poisoned you?" Karenbana said, frowning. "Sora?"

I'd passed it off before without really telling her about it, so now was as good a time as any to explain.

"It's a meteorite that fell in the Land of Bears a few hundred years ago," I said, crossing my legs at the ankles. "It gives off this special type of radiation that targets chakra; more specifically, moulding chakra while near it will increase your chakra capacity beyond your natural limits—the exact way it works is pretty unclear, but I think it affects the density of your chakra."

"The poison?" Karenbana asked.

"Radiation poisoning, which has a deleterious effect on your body, eventually ending with your organs shutting down," I said, thinking back to Hoshigakure and Akahoshi's fate. "It's very, very dangerous over long periods or with consistent exposure, but I can cure the effects pretty easily."

I paused for a moment as I considered her.

"I would probably hold off on using absorbing natural energy near it because it might destabilise the balance of energy or something." I cautioned, "But you should both do your meditation next to it every night—his chakra capacity is actually starting to catch up to yours, so the gains are real."

"The main reason it took so long to learn senjutsu was because of my small chakra capacity," Karenbana said, hesitating a bit. "The difficulty of learning it scales inversely proportional to how much chakra you have—less chakra, more difficulty."

"Yeah? What did Shiromari say about how it works with super compact chakra?" I needled, "You've got all the chakra of a big person, all balled up in that itty-bitty body of yours—I bet that made it take a whole two months more on its own."

"I think you can take a rest now, Ranmaru," Karenbana said, glaring at me. "You, on the other hand, can get the hell up right now."

"You want me to stand up?" I scoffed, "I could fight you sitting down, and I'd still—hold on, I'm not up yet—"

#

We left the Land of Waterfalls behind us with the knowledge that we'd have to return eventually, but hopefully, by that point, I would have Konohagakure at my back. This side of the Land of Fire wasn't too much different from the south had been, although if I was being honest, all the trees looked the same to me. The biggest change was the sheer amount of villages in our path—apparently, the north side of the Land of Fire was a pretty popular place to live. It did mean I was forced to put away Kubikiribōchō again because I didn't want any Konohagakure shinobi spotting me with it and sending a message back to the village before we got there.

I'd spent a while eyeing Tsuchigumo Village after I'd noticed it on the map—it had taken me almost five minutes to actually figure out why it was so familiar. The counterpart to Mount Katsuragi, it was the arc that had included Utakata, Hotaru, and Tonbee—I'd forgotten all about them and the technique Fury, that was strong enough to destroy an entire city in a single use. I almost convinced myself to turn back around for a quick side trip up to Mount Katsuragi, but the ones who'd attempted to take Hotaru and the technique hadn't attacked until Sasuke had already fought—and had been absolutely handled so badly it might well have been a hate crime—Killer B.

I would have time to address that later when we had more resources at our disposal. Still, the fact that I'd actually forgotten something so dangerous meant that I might have forgotten something else—and it would only take one missed event for everything to start spiralling out of control. For what must have been the first time I could remember, there were actually other travellers on the roads with us. Some of them were headed further west, their destination most likely the Land of Hot Water—or the Land of Sound, I supposed, if they felt like getting their body snatched—while most were headed in the same direction we were going.

The closer we got to Konohagakure, the more people we encountered. Wagons, horse-drawn carts, and one woman who was bravely perched on top of what seemed to be a god damned bull. The only bulls I'd ever seen in this world, or the last, had been doing their best to trample cowboys beneath their feet—I couldn't help but respect her audacity. There were more shinobi, too, walking around in broad daylight with their headbands proudly on display, escorting civilians or their goods—some of the civilians I'd seen were actually shinobi in disguise, which I might have found unsettling if I couldn't feel there chakra like a beacon.

The three of us were starting to draw more attention as well—my height was something that drew eyes almost everywhere we went—but this time, it was from actual shinobi. In Sunagakure, we'd made no attempt to hide the fact that Ranmaru and Karenbana had been shinobi, so the surveillance we'd had on us felt expected or earned, and that had made it feel oddly safer. This was more like a constant wave of threat detection that was renewed every time we passed someone—then I started to realise that some of the signatures were actually the same ones we'd seen a day ago, now in front of us again instead of somewhere far behind.

"Oh," I said, rolling my eyes. "I'm an idiot."

"What's wrong?" Karenbana demanded.

Just like the last time we'd been heading towards a Hidden Village, Karenbana continued to grow tenser—and while I'd been a bit fascinated by all of the visible shinobi, Karenbana had stopped talking almost entirely.

"There's a group of four shinobi that have been following us since the day before yesterday," I said, "Two of them have passed by us as individuals on the road with their headbands showing—they know I can sense them, or they would have pretended to be civilians instead."

That meant that either Kakashi, Sakura, Naruto or Lee had revealed I was a sensor-type when they'd returned from the Land of Moon, and the information had proliferated to these guys; ANBU If I was lucky, but they might have been Root—although I'd hazard that they knew it, either way, Danzo seemed like the type to follow up on strange missions along with the impressive and long-lasting trade deals that came with them.

"Konohagakure?" Karenbana muttered.

"Most likely," I admitted, "I would guess that it's some kind of ANBU escort—one of the other shinobi we passed probably sent a message back to the village."

"I should have changed clothes," Karenbana said, fidgeting with her too-long sleeve. "I'm showing too much—it's obvious I'm not a civilian when they can see my musculature."

"I was sceptical about the overshirt thing at first—but it's starting to grow on me," I confessed, "Sometimes I forget you're wearing tights entirely, and your shirt rides up just enough that I can almost imagine—"

"ANBU or not," Karenbana said, eyeing me. "I'll bury you in the middle of this road."

"That's going to be a really big grave," Ranmaru wondered. "I'll help you dig."

"You spent way too much time with Raiga," I said, rolling my eyes. "Whatever—what's the map say, Karenbana? Two hours left?"

"One and a half," Karenbana said without unfolding it. "Once we pass that hill, we should be able to see the mountain."

"Imagine we get that first look at Konohagakure, but instead of the Hokage's faces, it's just a bunch of apes carved into the rock—and it turns out that in this reality, everyone was a monkey all along," I said, impressed with myself. "I turn to ask you if I am seeing things—and somehow you are a monkey as well, and then I realise that I actually had sex with a monkey—"

I was forced to duck forward, doing a kind of proto shuffle in order to avoid her attempt to grab at me from over Ranmaru's head. Once I was out of her reach, I spun around to walk backwards, hands up in a guard in case she tried any monkey business with me—to show her that I really wasn't having any of it, I beat my fists against my chest and hooted like an ape.

"Yuck," Ranmaru decided, "You're both gross."

Karenbana, already flushed, made a strangled noise in the back of her throat, clearly upset at being lumped in with me when she'd done nothing to deserve such a fate. My attempt to distract her from the spiral of negativity I could almost see swirling around behind her eyes seemed to work for the most part because now she was embarrassed, angry and very, very present.

#

There were no monkeys to be seen unless the metaphor could be stretched to include old men of great power who could summon them as allies. There was, however, a massive, towering gate set into an all-encompassing and intimidatingly tall wall. Beyond it was a sprawling mess of buildings, none of which seemed to be the same shape, height, colour, material, or anything else that made up their existence. It was almost as haphazard as Kagero Village had been, except that despite the many oddities, the construction had a singular note to it that spoke of a certain universal method used by all of the builders. The wooden supports, beams, and planks all looked strong, well made, and durable, clearly built from the neverending spread of healthy trees that surrounded everything—and standing tall, right in the middle of the gates was a line of shinobi, at their centre was someone I would have recognized anywhere.

"Jesus Christ, Kakashi," I said as I approached, entirely without fear. "It's like forty degrees out here—don't you own another set of clothes?"

"They give you one set when you first join, and it looks like this; after that, you have to pay for any extras or modifications," Kakashi said, scratching at the side of his mask. "It would be a bother if I had to buy something myself."

"You're an absolute cheapskate, and I love it," I said, impressed. "We're a bit later than expected, but that's because these two have the combined stride length of a seven-year-old."

Kakashi glanced over at the two in question before nodding in understanding.

"Karenbana," Kakashi said in greeting.

Karenbana simply nodded, apparently not willing to speak up while we were entirely surrounded by shinobi.

"Hello again, Kakashi," Ranmaru said without any of her reserve. "It's nice to see you again."

"Ranmaru, you've grown a lot taller in only seven months," Kakashi said. "You have been training too, if I were to guess."

"I practice every day," Ranmaru said, "You have a lot more chakra than the last time as well—oh, maybe I wasn't supposed to say that."

There was a bit of a shuffle through the line of chunin at that—either the fact that Kakashi of the Sharingan was somehow getting stronger or the fact that an eleven-year-old boy could apparently discern such a thing at a glance.

"You're a mess, kid," I sighed, "What's the toll on this gate anyway—do we need to wrestle one of your chunin to gain entry? Karenbana, pick that one; he looks sturdy, and I want to see you struggle."

The chunin in question—an Akimichi, if I were a betting man—blinked at the sudden attention he was getting as the rest of them turned to look at him. Karenbana sent me a narrow-eyed look that promised I would be facing immediate retaliation the moment we were alone but said nothing in response. Kakashi took a moment, apparently to consider it, before hooking his hands into his pockets.

"That's the old method; we had to phase it out after the Fire Daiymo tried to visit and couldn't pay the toll," Kakashi said, "Now you just have to promise that you will follow the rules during your stay and avoid causing any trouble—if you can help it."

"Well, that doesn't sound anywhere near as fun," I complained, "Oh well, I guess we'll behave ourselves then."

I turned my attention down to Ranmaru—a look of expectation on my face.

"We'll do our best," Ranmaru said before passing it on. "Right, Karenbana?"

"That's right," Karenbana said.

Kakashi stepped back and turned side-on, waving us into the village. The line of chunin dissolved, some of them taking to the rooftops, while a few of them moved to follow us, but at a small distance that allowed for the illusion of privacy.

"The business you went to deal with," Kakashi said as the four of us walked along the main stretch. "No problems?"

It was an interesting question and one which he was clearly using as a test to see if my arrival in Konohagakure meant that I'd suddenly transformed into someone far less cryptic.

"Unfortunately, there were problems," I admitted, "Not the world-destroying kind, but the tragic kind—mostly because I had no way of really fixing any of it because it was all said and done before I even got there."

Ranmaru kind of ducked his head at the words; I didn't need a mind-reading dojutsu to know he was thinking about Yone, who we'd left in Genjutsu Tree Village and the unfortunate fate that had befallen her family.

"Ah," Kakashi said.

It was only a single word, but the way he'd said It left me with the distinct impression that he knew exactly what I was talking about—given the things he'd seen and done, he probably had more experience with things like that than I did.

"We managed to help some people, though, so it wasn't entirely bad," I said, rubbing at the back of my head for a minute. "One of the places we went was completely destroyed—maybe four months before we arrived—and everybody was long dead."

Kakashi turned to look at me this time, brow furrowed.

"Some place I would have heard of?" Kakashi asked.

"Hoshigakure, in the Land of Bears," I said, "One of their strongest shinobi—Akahoshi—killed the previous leader about a decade ago, and he's been in control of the village since. There was some kind of recent internal conflict, and he murdered everyone down to the last person, then killed himself."

"The meteorite was the cause of the conflict?" Kakashi guessed, "That's about the only thing they were known for."

"Yeah, it was about that," I admitted, "There was a really strong shinobi there called Natsuhi that I wanted to recruit for our cause, but she was one of the people who died fighting him—the whole situation sucks."

Karenbana seemed distracted from her paranoia for the first time because I hadn't had a chance to mention any of this to her yet, and Ranmaru didn't know the finer details of the situation, so whatever account he'd given her was curbed by his lack of knowledge.

"That's often the case when it comes to matters involving shinobi," Kakashi said, voice even. "Conflict almost always leaves the world worse off in the aftermath; unnecessary conflict lacks the ambiguity entirely."

I'd never heard something that rang as true as that in my entire life.

#

The door to the Hokage's office was a massive slab of dark wood, but for all of its apparent weight, it swung closed with a click so faint that I wasn't sure I hadn't just imagined it. The Hokage's desk looked even heavier than the door, and seemed to be a single piece of wood, no doubt carved out of the same goliath tree that had borne the door. The Hokage's chest—

"Fucking hell," I said, genuinely stumped. "You are gorgeous."

Shizune, who was standing off to one side of the desk, seemed to start choking on thin air—exactly what I'd expect for a woman who seemed to be carrying a tiny pig around with her.

"I feel like if I look at you for too long, I might actually go blind," I said, holding my hand up to block her from view—then I opened my fingers to take another peek. "Jesus Christ."

Tsunade of the Sannin watched me from over her linked hands, elbows resting against the darkly stained wood. I'd half expected to see her as she truly was—because genjutsu didn't work on me—but I suppose that meant that she really was using the Transformation Technique. Still, even if all it was doing was hiding a few wrinkles, she was stunning.

"Kakashi mentioned you were disarming," Tsunade said, "I think I understand what he means now."

Karenbana glared at me with a sort of silent fury that told me I was in pretty big trouble—not because I was making eyes at another woman, there had been more than a few occasions when I'd caught her doing the exact same thing—but because I was making an ass out of myself in front of the strongest woman in the world; something which made her look bad by her association to me.

"Bold of you to assume you could discern the totality of my abyssal depths," I said, dropping my hand and offering a fancy little bow. "Sora, Emissary of the Land of Moon, knower of the future, aspiring shinobi of Konohagakure, the single best doctor on the planet, and the man who's going to save the world—it's a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance."

Tsunade seemed stuck for a moment, clearly unsure which part she wanted to address first—exactly as planned.

"I've struck you speechless, I see, but worry not; it's a very common reaction, I assure you," I said, preening. "My effect on women is quite well documented—and by the gods, are you a woman—seriously, I think I might be having a hot flush right now, Ranmaru, fan me."

"I really don't want to," Ranmaru said, chiming in.

"This is my Karenbana; she is powerful, intelligent, and absolutely adorable," I said, wriggling my fingers at her. "Don't let her small stature fool you, though, because she is terrifyingly competent—short, I meant terrifyingly short."

Karenbana's fury seemed to shudder on her face, struggling not to come apart under the storm of angles I was attacking everyone from—or perhaps from the sheer, radiant nature of the goddess staring back at us from the other side of the desk. Kakashi remained where he was since we stepped into the room, leaning silently against the pillar to our left, watching it all with clear fascination.

"Last but not least is our Ranmaru; he used to help Raiga Kurosuki pick out the best spots to bury people alive, but he's a good kid at heart," I said, planting my hand on his head. "Apart from that, he's got an astonishing amount of potential and a bloodline limit that's going to help us kill an alien god—very cool."

There was an odd silence following the end of my introductions, in which I made sure to beam at everyone with a sort of unhinged and relentless positivity—better to innoculate the newcomers now than spring it on them later. Tsunade took her eyes off me for the first time and glanced over at Kakashi as if to study his reaction.

"That's a step up from aligning yourself with us as allies," Tsunade said, "Was that always your intention?"

I didn't believe for a second that Kakashi hadn't told her about our conversation in the Land of Rivers or that she wasn't aware that I'd specifically asked him to pass along a request for fast-tracked probation—still, if she was going to play games, then I'd best take advantage of the open floor to set the tone for our negotiations.

"It was, but we can talk about that later," I said, smiling. "For now, I want to build up some actual structure for this discussion—so let's get some things out of the way first."

I took a few steps forward until I was more or less in the centre of the room and almost parallel to where Kakashi's direct line of sight almost had him challenging me to a battle. Karenbana and Ranmaru remained where they were, but I felt both of their signatures turn back towards me.

"I've been vague about it in the past, but I'll state it firmly, so everyone is aware," I said, "I can see the future—I know when Kakashi dies, I know when Jiraiya dies, I know when Nagato Uzumaki destroys Konohagakure with a single overwhelmingly powerful technique, and I know when Obito Uchiha finally reveals himself as the real leader of Akatsuki, and one of the main instigators of it all."

Kakashi gave absolutely no indication that I'd said anything of interest—a feat of control I'd be left thinking about for weeks afterwards. Tsunade was far less restrained in her response, straightening in her chair, the movement sending the wide sleeves of her coat peeling back to show the perfectly smooth and unblemished skin of her wrists.

"You'll note that I picked one of the things that were relevant to you both, but it's only one of many, many events that will unfold here," I said, tapping a finger to my chin. "It's not even the one with the most loss of life, considering there's a literal alien god who wants to take back chakra and enslave everyone on the planet—or the fact that there is a bunch of them, just like her, who seek to destroy the world entirely."

I considered them both for a moment before nodding.

"So, obviously, I'm here to prevent those things from happening and to generally empower Konohagakure to weather the coming storm," I said, "Unfortunately, I'm not the kind of guy to just hand the reigns over to someone else and then sit on the sidelines, hoping that you'll take care of it all to my liking—so I'm going to need a few things from Konohagakure in exchange for this priceless information, and for my invaluable help."

I fell silent after that, allowing Tsunade to take a moment to actually consider what I'd already said rather than pile even more onto her plate to deal with. As far as structure went, a transactional relationship almost always worked as an underscore for everything else—I'd help them with some things, and in turn, they would help me with some things. Shizune looked entirely overwhelmed by it all and seemed to be looking at Tsunade like she was waiting for her to explode. Karenbana was more tense than ever, apparently in the same mindset that the situation could only inevitably deteriorate from my bluntness. Ranmaru seemed the least affected by everything, simply happy to be there, in a new and interesting place, with both new and old faces.

"What exactly do you want from us?" Tsunade said, breaking the silence.

"I want Emissary status with Konohagakure, so I can meet with and make first contact with other countries on your behalf—I intend on funnelling more trade and mission exclusivity deals back towards you, along with facilitating a true alliance between Konohagakure, Sunagakure, the Land of Moon, and any other country I can pull into it," I said, taking a step forward. "I also want these two—and any more of the wandering shinobi I manage to recruit—to be welcomed here as fully-fledged Konohagakure Shinobi with all of the specialised training and techniques that come along with it."

I took another step forward towards the desk, with Kakashi now out of my line of sight completely—a dangerous position for anyone to be in.

"Apart from that, I want you to work with me to build several shinobi teams designed to counter each of these problems as they appear and to strike at some of them before they have a chance to do it to us," I said, nodding. "Now I know it's a bit of a lopsided deal; I mean, I'm bringing you prosperity, safety, powerful shinobi, rare bloodline limits, the detailed plans of your enemies, their weaknesses, their battle strategies, the locations of their bases, their motivations, information on how to avert the deaths of your loved ones and you're giving me—uh what are you giving me again—oh, just a little bit of trust."

Tsunade blew a quiet breath out of her nose at the extremely biased way in which I'd framed it, but I just smiled. I was already the tallest person in the room, and the fact that she was sitting down only made it worse—yet there was not a single hint of discomfort on her face as she looked up at me over her linked hands. I suppose that kind of casual confidence came with the fact that you could kill every single person in just about every room you'd ever been in.

"It's a good offer, but it's not something I can agree to without further deliberation," Tsunade said, watching me. "How time-sensitive is this?"

"You can take a few days to hammer out the details of the Emissary thing with the Council of Konohagakure, but I wouldn't drag my heels on any of it," I said, shrugging. "Pro-tip for everyone present in this room, and a little bit of a spoiler of what I can offer you; if you're ever alone with Danzo Shimura and he starts moulding chakra in his eye, try using extreme violence—because he has Shisui Uchiha's Mangekyou Sharingan implanted in him, and it possesses an illusionary technique called Kotoamatsukami that will make you change your mind on something without knowing it's actually him doing it."

There was another potent silence following my words, and I gave them a 'what can you do' kind of gesture.

#

Shizune led us out of the office and down the stairs, leaving Kakashi and Tsunade as the sole occupants of the room. As far as the first meeting went, this one had been pretty good—I'd lured them both in with promises of incredible knowledge and established myself as someone who was invaluable. I'd also instilled in them the fact that I had the kind of knowledge that I could have used against them at any time, but I'd gone out of my way to come to their aid instead.

Naruto, Sakura and Rock Lee would have spoken favourably about me in the Land of Moon. Kakashi would have reported our assistance in Takumi Village. Team Hinata would have done the same after the Land of Vegetables. Between Kakaru Tsuki and Haruna Aoki, I'd played a significant part in two countries, throwing their support behind Konohagakure. I'd also likely get a mention whenever Gaara took power in Sunagakure—if he hadn't done so already. As far as proving myself as an ally went, I'd done more for them since I'd arrived than any other outside force and far more than anyone not aligned with them already could be expected to do.

The hotel that we were led to was clearly something they set aside for ambassadors, politicians, or other high-ranking officials because it was easily the largest and sleekest building I'd seen other than the tower. Shizune spoke with a young woman at the front desk, the two of them swiftly organising a trio of rooms. Then we were led upstairs to be given a brief tour.

"But Shizune," I whined, "I want a room with a big window, and this one has a small window."

"I—I can try and find you something else if you'd prefer?" Shizune said, a bit flustered at my childishness. "I'm not sure the windows come in different sizes, but perhaps—"

"You can ignore him; this is perfectly fine," Karenbana said, interjecting. "Are we being confined to these rooms, or are we free to move around?"

"You're more than welcome to explore the city—the areas that are off-limits are clearly marked or will have shinobi at the entrance," Shizune said, managing a smile. "There will likely be a single shinobi or a team assigned to you who can act as an escort; I would expect them to arrive within the next few hours—they'll remain downstairs in the lobby until you have need of them."

"Oh, oh," I said, pleased. "Do we get to pick?"

"If you would like to make a request, I can pass it on, but they may not be available or have the training for dealing with this specific situation," Shizune said, fiddling with her sleeves. "Did you have someone in mind?"

"Kakashi is too busy having an existential crisis right now, Naruto is out of the village, Sakura might be nervous around Karenbana, and Rock Lee is probably busy training," I said, ticking them off. "What about Hinata or Choji?"

"Hinata is unavailable right now," Shizune said, hesitant. "I believe Choji is available—although I'm not sure if he is trained for something like this."

"He's just leading us around the village, right?" I said, "There's been like a dozen shinobi following us since we came through the gates; they can pick up the slack on the whole making sure we aren't doing anything naughty."

"I—I'll go put in the request for you now," Shizune said, unwilling to touch that topic at all. "If there is anything you need before then, please ask at the reception desk."

"Thank you," Ranmaru said, "It was nice meeting you, Shizune."

"Oh—it was nice meeting you too," Shizune said, smiling again. "I'll just—goodbye for now."

The three of us watched her vanish out into the hallway, and I planted my hands on my hips before doing a quick scan of the room. A double bed, a large, neatly kept desk with a few writing utensils arrayed on top, a room that led to the shower and bathroom—and a rather small window with a partial view of the Hokage Monument.

"Karenbana, you dumbass," I said, scrunching my face up. "I was totally going to haggle her up to a five-star suite; now we're stuck with these shitty windows—"

"Ranmaru," Karenbana said, clenching her hand into a fist. "I'm going to need some time alone with him—why don't you go have a look at your room."

"Okay," Ranmaru said.

"Alternatively, you could stay here and save me from the consequences of my actions," I offered, "I'll even double your payment for this month—hey, come back here—Ranmaru—Aha, he left, what a joker, let me just go get him."

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

Karenbana stepped in front of me, blocking the door, which left me with only the tiny fucking window to use as an escape—something which I was never going to fit through—god dammit, Shizune. I took a step back as she snatched hold of the front of my shirt. Given that we were current guests in a village full of shinobi and most definitely under surveillance, she was kind of restrained in what she could do. Unfortunately, I didn't want to reveal the fact that I could teleport quite yet either, so I was unable to break free of her grip.

"Powerful, intelligent, and terrifyingly competent?" Karenbana said.

"I made it all up—except for the part about you being short—you're the lamest shinobi I've ever met," I said, clearing my throat. "In fact, I'm pretty sure all of our wins happened in spite of you, you know, because you're such a detriment to the squad."

Karenbana just watched me, and when I caught hold of her wrist in an attempt to dislodge her grip, she pushed me backward. I fell back onto the bed when it struck the back of my knees and watched as she moved to lean against the desk.

"You meant it all," Karenbana disagreed, lip pulled up at one side. "You're just trying to play it off now because you're embarrassed."

"You're completely delusional," I said, scratching my cheek. "Maybe we should get Tsunade to take a look at your head while we're here."

Karenbana crossed her legs at the ankle, and I watched as the movement pulled the hem of her shirt up, revealing the legs of her tights.

"You told them more than I expected," Karenbana said, following my line of sight down to her legs. "Do you think they are going to agree to your terms?"

"That is going to depend entirely on how much Tsunade wants the information and how convincing Kakashi can be, because, despite his non-reaction, he wants it even more than she does," I said, "The stakes are way too high for her to allow the Council of Konohagakure to convince her otherwise—not that anyone with a rational mindset would want to turn down what I have to offer."

Karenbana shifted again, causing the shirt to ride up even higher—this time in a way I was sure was deliberate. The confirmation came a moment later as she slipped her hands under the hem of the shirt and hooked her thumbs into the waistband of her tights.

"Maybe not," Karenbana said, "But the council members might suggest taking it by force."

"Konohagakure couldn't hold me, which means they couldn't hold any of us," I said, eyes locked on the hem of her shirt as she drew her tights down an inch. "Besides, I'm already offering to give them that information, so they're much more likely to suggest offering something else in exchange—not that I'm willing to change any of my conditions, but still."

I watched her draw her tights down to the middle of her thigh and then glanced up to study her face—her cheeks were a bit flushed, but she also looked like she knew exactly what she was doing. I pushed myself up off the bed, and she sat back on the top of the desk, her tights slipping down until they caught around her knees. I came to a stop directly in front of her, close enough that the inside of her thighs were touching against my hips, and she finally averted her gaze, overtaken by a momentary embarrassment by what she'd initiated.

"Why are you laughing?" Karenbana managed.

I slipped my hand behind her neck and tilted her head back to make her look at me—I ignored the way her fingers hooked into the front of my belt and just watched her for a moment. I waited just long enough for her to try and look away again before ducking down to kiss her.

#

The next morning, we found Choji Akimichi waiting for us in the lobby, a bag of chips opened in his lap, but he wasn't alone. Shikamaru Nara and Ino Yamanaka sat with him—the former laying flat on his back on the bench seat, with his head dangling off the edge, and the latter perched on the armrest of Choji's chair, using the boy's shoulder as a leaning post.

"Well, I'll be damned if it isn't one of the saviours of the Land of Vegetables," I said as we stepped into the lobby. "Save any more countries, hero?"

Choji paused for a moment, a chip held inches away from his mouth while Shikamaru cracked a single eye open—the biggest reaction was from Ino, who slipped off the armrest and spun around to face us.

"That's the only mission like that that I've ever gone on," Choji admitted, lowering the chip. "I'm actually starting to wonder if all the stories Naruto has about strange missions are actually real."

"Getting chased around by a guy who uses flying sharks is pretty odd," I agreed. "I'd say most of what he says is pretty reliable—asking Sakura might be a good bet for making sure he's not exaggerating, though."

"The flying sharks were real?" Ino said.

Choji scrunched his face up at the words before popping the chip into his mouth and snapping the bag shut.

"Of course it was real," Shikamaru sighed, "When has Choji ever lied about anything?"

"Let me guess," I said, tapping a finger against my chin. "Shikamaru Nara, and Ino Yamanaka."

"That's worrying," Shikamaru said, eyeing us from his upside-down position. "Did you request all three of us?"

"Just him," I said, "He mentioned his teammates once or twice when we were on that mission—now, if you're going to be our escort for the day, let's do introductions."

"We've been briefed on who you are," Ino said, tilting her head. "Karenbana, right? Where did you get that top—it's amazing."

Karenbana looked like she was entirely ill-prepared for a conversation on fashion, so, of course, I made sure to push her toward the blonde girl. I ignored the look of complete betrayal she sent my way as she was forced to socialise for the first time in probably forever.

"Ew, girls," I said, jerking my head at them. "Beautiful, but riddled with cooties—am I right?"

"Sure," Shikamaru said in agreement.

"The Hokage said we should take you wherever you wanted to go," Choji said, "I don't really know where that is, though—were you supposed to do something while you're here?"

"I'm waiting for Tsunade to get back to me on a super secret deal we made; it could be a day, could be a couple," I said, "I'd say the three of us will be doing a little sightseeing—I want to check out the best restaurants in Konohagakure, Karenbana and Ranmaru both need to go clothes shopping, and Ranmaru wants to fight a genin."

"I do?" Ranmaru said, at the same time as Choji asked, "He does?"

"I want to see how you stack up to a genin in basic combat skills," I said, nodding. "Just a spar, preferably with someone who is good but isn't a taijutsu specialist because that will skew the results—you feel like beating up my shortest warrior?"

"That sounds like a lot of effort," Shikamaru wondered. "Hard pass."

"I know most of the restaurants, and I've eaten at a lot of them," Choji said, closing his eyes in thought. "Is there a specific type of food you're looking to try, or are you more interested in quality?"

"I want to try the absolute best Kaiseki you can point me towards—maybe we'll do that for dinner tonight; I'll pay for all of you as well—I want to see both that ramen stall that Naruto kept talking about and that yakiniku place you mentioned," I said, tapping a finger against my chin. "I also want Ranmaru to try Takoyaki because he's never had the chance—think you can hook us up with all that, chief?"

Choji had a glint in his eye that told me that, yes, he could hook us up and that offering to pay for an expensive multi-course dinner for him and his friends may have pushed me squarely into the territory of the exalted.

#

"The grandmaster would win every time," Shikamaru said, "Even if you could read his mind, that doesn't mean you'd understand the moves or the overall strategy—if he was aware you were doing it, then he could just lure you into a trap."

"What if it was two grandmasters, one who can read minds, one who can tell the future," I said, pointing my chopsticks at him. "Who wins then?"

Shikamaru furrowed his brow at the question before swatting away Ino's third attempt to poke him in the cheek with an annoyed expression on his face. Ino just grinned at the frustration, clearly enjoying seeing her teammate stuck on something for once.

"It would end in a draw," Shikamaru said, eventually. "The future would be known by both parties, and at that point, they'd be negotiating for the least amount of loss—so long as they are rational actors, it ends in a draw."

Shikamaru nodded at his own answer.

"What if one grandmaster had a bitter grudge and wouldn't accept anything less than the total destruction of his rival?" I said, not willing to let him escape. "Who, then, would come out victorious?"

"You can't just keep changing the rules," Shikamaru complained. "The one without the grudge would just take the loss because it's too much effort to keep stalemating, and they have lives to live outside of the game."

"Boo," I said, "Poke him again for such a low-effort answer."

"Ino—" Shikamaru warned.

Ino went for it anyway, and Shikamaru sighed as she smushed his cheek with her finger. Choji returned a moment later, leading the waitress over to our table. Karenbana watched me from across the table with the same exhausted look she'd been wearing since about midday—apparently, she did have a weakness, and it was being dragged around to try on every dress, top, skirt, and smock in Konohagakure. Ranmaru looked tired as well—not from anything physically related, because we hadn't been able to get permission to beat up a random genin yet—but also happy, as he always seemed to be when making connections with new people who were much closer to his age. I negotiated and paid for our order of Kaiseki for six—with some help from Choji on what some of the dishes I wasn't familiar with actually consisted of—and then the waitress left us once more.

"Is there a reason you're spending so much money on us?" Ino asked. "Did Choji actually save your life or something?"

"I don't think I did," Choji said, blinking. "Did I?"

"You didn't," Karenbana said, speaking up. "He's just an idiot who doesn't know how to manage money—trust me, I've seen him do much worse."

"We literally saved a country together, and something like that deserves a proper celebration," I said, huffing. "Besides, I couldn't do it in the Land of Vegetables because the last time I went to a restaurant there, they poisoned me."

Choji looked offended by the very concept that someone in the food business would do such a thing to their precious clients.

"Did you die?" Ino wondered.

"Of course I did," I said without pause. "Then I came back to life and beat up all the shinobi in the restaurant—isn't that right, Karenbana?"

"I remember you lying around on the ground while I did all the work," Karenbana said, hiding her smile behind her glass of water. "But it's your story, I suppose; tell it however you wish."

"Oh, you absolute scumbag," I said, outraged. "Ranmaru—stab her with your chopsticks."

"They'll get dirty," Ranmaru said, sliding them slightly closer to himself as if to protect them from me. "Shikamaru, are the three of you genin?"

Shikamaru, currently leaning far enough to the side that he was sticking out of our booth in an effort to avoid Ino's continued attempts to harass him, kind of grunted. Ino pulled back and moved to organise her still-wrapped cutlery with an innocent smile.

"I wish I was a genin," Shikamaru said, slumping back in his seat. "I got promoted at the end of last year, and it's been nothing but trouble ever since—these two are still genin."

"Does that mean you're the strongest?" Ranmaru asked.

"Choji is the strongest," Shikamaru said without any kind of hesitation. "I'm just good at thinking."

"What about me?" Ino said, bumping into his arm. "I'm good at thinking, and I'm strong too—doesn't that mean I'm the strongest?"

"Sure, you can be the strongest if you want," Shikamaru said, unwilling to argue. "You don't mind, do you, Choji?"

"It's fine," Choji said, smiling. "Ino is the strongest."

"Don't be patronizing, or I'm going to get my mom to invite your parents over for dinner again," Ino warned, eyeing them both. "I'll tell them all the horrible things you've said and done to me—some of them might even be true."

Choji looked kind of nervous at the threat, but Shikamaru just sighed.

"Now, that is the kind of refined treachery that I can get behind," I said, impressed. "You're definitely the strongest."

Ino grinned.

#

"I get a chair this time?" I said, raising my eyebrows. "It's not going to burst into shackles, chains and sealing techniques the moment I sit down, is it?"

Tsunade raised an eyebrow at the question or at how I sat down on it before either of them had a chance to actually respond. Kakashi, off to one side and leaning against the window behind Tsunade, looked up from his book.

"We keep that chair downstairs," Kakashi said, "It would be a hassle to drag it all the way up here."

I kept a mental tab on Karenbana and Ranmaru with Energy Sense, the two of them sitting outside in the hallway with our team of escorts—just to make sure they weren't suddenly going to be whisked away while I wasn't there to watch them.

"Who has Danzo used his Mangekyou Sharingan on?" Tsunade asked.

I'd assumed our next meeting would be something like this because it was a massive security risk—I wondered if they'd actually managed to confirm it yet, or if they were simply taking my word for it.

"That's a tricky question because once it's been used, it's supposed to have a ten-year cooldown before it can be used again—but through an odd quirk of biology, he's managed to shorten that cooldown to once a day by planting Hashirama Senju's DNA in his body," I said, scratching my chin. "He doesn't need eye contact to do it either, so he's probably used it on a whole bunch of people over the years—the one I know about doesn't happen for a while."

"Once a day?" Kakashi said.

"Yeah, I can't really imagine how many people he's used it on, although he's probably more careful with it than that," I said, "People heading into a meeting with him while strongly opposed to something, only to come out as its strongest advocate would be more than enough to set off some alarm bells."

"What kind of interaction exists between my Grandfather's DNA and an Uchiha eye to cause something like that?" Tsunade asked before pausing. "How is it that he has access to his DNA in the first place?"

"I know the answer to both questions—although that first one is a hell of a thing to explain—but seeing as our agreement hasn't been officialised in any way, shape or form, I'm going to have to pass on explaining it to you," I said, "Knowledge about Kotoamatsukami was a freebie to you in the same way that knowledge about Kamui was a freebie for Kakashi, the rest requires reciprocation."

Tsunade didn't react to the name of the second ability in any way, which probably meant that Kakashi had at least briefed her on it for the sake of preparation for this conversation.

"There was complete agreement in absorbing the three of you into Konohagakure as shinobi, although there was some arguing over the length of the probationary period," Tsunade said, speaking slowly. "Kakashi spoke on your behalf during the meeting as a character witness, and it was made clear that you have been in a sort of proto-probation for a while—which means it would be quite a hassle for both of us if you turn out to be a problem."

I was happy to see that we were stepping into more honest territory rather than trying to pretend that there was an information divide going on between the two of them.

"Thanks for putting your ass on the line for me; I'll make sure to keep it safe," I said, smiling. "Shinobi status, yes—what about training and techniques?"

"That is something far more contentious and something you didn't expand on during the meeting," Tsunade said, "Now would be a good time to do that."

"Training is simple and what you're probably already doing for your normal shinobi—taijutsu instruction from someone who seriously knows what they're doing—Might Gai would be ideal—wind release instruction for Karenbana—Asuma Sarutobi—lightning release instruction for Ranmaru—Kakashi, obviously," I said, "For techniques, I want someone to teach Karenbana the Shadow Clone Technique, and I want a genjutsu expert—Kurenai—to teach Ranmaru as much as possible because everything he knows on that front is entirely self-taught."

"Most of that should be workable, provided none of those instructors outright decline," Tsunade said, "Why the Shadow Clone Technique?"

"It enhances one of her existing skills in a way that makes her much more dangerous," I said, telling her outright but avoiding the details. "I know at least two Akatsuki members who already know the Shadow Clone Technique—three if you include former members, four if you're willing to let me speculate—so there's really no point in being cagey about it."

"I'm not the one being cagey about it, but there are certain existing traditions in regards to techniques and sharing them," Tsunade said in her own defence. "It will likely be a very annoying conversation, but I'll agree to those stipulations."

"I appreciate you going to all that effort for me—that leaves Emissary status and likely the thing that's causing you so much trouble," I said, smiling. "Why would we give an outsider the ability to act on our behalf? What if he causes trouble or starts a war? How can we trust a person without vetting them first? Does he even have the training for this kind of thing—how close did I get?"

Tsunade made a sort of troubled hum in the back of her throat at my characterisation of their potential discussion.

"If I'm going to agree to that condition, it needs to be with a set of limitations," Tsunade said, linking her hands together. "You'll be appointed a handler to advise you, and who will follow you around to make sure you aren't making agreements we cannot or will not fulfil—and you'll be required to report back on the complete details of any interaction with politicians or diplomats, no matter how brief."

"I'll agree to that on the provision that my handler does not speak, interrupt, interfere or otherwise take any action to impede me during any meeting I'm in—and if any kind of combat breaks out, I'm the one who calls the shots," I said, leaning forward. "They can chastise me afterwards if they feel the need—something I'll most likely make fun of them for—but if they do anything to mess with me during negotiations, we're going to have a serious problem."

"Very well," Tsunade said, "Are you prepared for a discussion now, or do you intend to wait until some of those conditions have been filled?"

"I don't want to wait for much longer, and I doubt either of you do either, but I'll probably hold out until you at least begin instructing Karenbana on the Shadow Clone Technique because if you're willing to go that far, I think I can trust you to follow through on the rest," I said, "After that, the three of us are going to be spending a lot of time in this room together—although, you might want to bring in a few more chairs."

#

"This is it, Ranmaru," I said, rubbing his shoulders. "This is the moment you've been training for your entire life."

"You've been training to fight Shino your entire life?" Choji asked.

"No?" Ranmaru said helplessly. "I've only been training for a little while, and I've never even met Shino before."

"Your opponent has a history of eating his enemies alive—right after he kills them—so you may not come out of this in one piece," I said, shaking him a bit to refocus him on the upcoming battle. "But I want you to remember all the awesome things I taught you, so when you lose, I can at least brag about how good my training was."

"I have not eaten any of my defeated opponents, or anyone at all, really," Shino said, adjusting his glasses. "Is this a rumour that has proliferated outside of the village? I sincerely hope that isn't the case."

"If it is, I've never heard it," Shikamaru wondered, already sitting against the base of a tree. "Maybe you should go over the rules."

"To the death," I said immediately, "Winner has to eat the loser's corpse."

"Gross," Ino said, grinning. "But I'm here for it."

"I'm beginning to wonder if I should have agreed to this," Shino said, "Why? Because I do not wish to eat a corpse."

"I don't really want to be eaten either," Ranmaru said, holding up a hand to remind everyone he was there. "Just so we're clear."

"You're talking like you've already lost," I said, horrified. "Ranmaru, I know you can eat his corpse if you'd only believe in yourself—"

"Nobody is eating anybody's corpse," Karenbana interjected, visibly annoyed. "It's only a spar to get a measure of where he's at. I know all of his moves, and we spar all the time, so it's hard to judge—the rules are taijutsu only, no weapons or techniques, and nothing lethal. Ends via submission, exhaustion, or surrender."

I attempted to give Ranmaru some last-minute advice, but Karenbana grabbed me by the hair and started pulling me away. Shino remained where he had been standing for the last few minutes, his hands slipping out of his pockets to hang by his sides. Ranmaru turned sideways, settling into the stance Karenbana had been training him in. Karenbana shoved me one last time to make sure I'd behave myself and then turned back to act as the referee for the fight.

"Um," Ranmaru said, staring up at the much taller Shino. "Karenbana? Am I allowed to use my—"

"You shouldn't use it," Karenbana said, "We're trying to see how good you are, and that will skew the results."

"Use your what?" Ino asked.

"Something that enhances his taijutsu but doesn't fall into the other categories she mentioned," Shikamaru wondered, "A bloodline limit, maybe?"

Shino turned his head to look at Shikamaru at the words—and then, because I'd instilled some amazing habits in him, Ranmaru took that moment to attack. Shino swayed backwards as Ranmaru's foot swept past his chest—not quite high enough to hit him in the head because of the height disparity—and then stepped to the side as Ranmaru followed through with a strike at his abdomen. Shino caught it on the back of his forearm and deflected it to the side without much effort but was forced back another step from the half-a-dozen strikes that came after it.

Shino's much longer limbs gave him the reach advantage, and Ranmaru seemed to be struggling against it—as he'd told Karenbana, I didn't fight the way they did, so this was the first real test of his straight-up taijutsu pitted against a much larger opponent. He did seem to be learning quickly, though, moving to target Shino's legs, which were in easy range with a series of kicks. Through it all, Shino remained implacably calm, adjusting to the low attacks by pressing forward, breaking through and starting an offensive of his own. Ranmaru fell back immediately, forced into a handspring as Shino attempted to pin him to the ground after his sweep was blocked. Then he was entirely on the defensive as Shino started a precise series of strikes, each step forward moving in response to Ranmaru's attempts to circle around.

"He's fast," Ino said, raising an eyebrow. "His technique seems pretty good, too—he's a bit straightforward."

"Constrained by the rules of the match," Shikamaru said, with a sort of vague interest. "A taijutsu-only spar necessitates a straightforward approach, and while he's fast, he's nowhere near fast enough to get behind Shino."

"The size difference is bad too," Choji said, "Maybe we should have asked someone shorter?"

"No way, this is great," I said, speaking up. "Karenbana, thoughts?"

"Ranmaru has gotten too used to fighting me," Karenbana said, "This guy is a technical fighter, and he's already identified his win condition—leveraging his reach and sticking to singular, precise, and calculated attacks that force Ranmaru to move around a lot to avoid."

"He's tiring him out while working to save his own stamina," Ino said in understanding. "That's so lame."

"The word you're looking for is efficient," Shikamaru said, "Shino isn't a taijutsu specialist, but he's refined, and he has a body type that fits the role pretty well—it's only natural that he makes the most of it."

Ranmaru figured out what was happening eventually, but at that point, it was too late to really conserve his energy. From my angle of the fight, I'd only seen about seven hits land throughout the entire thing, and three of them had been from Ranmaru—none of which did much of anything to slow Shino down—but each one that the bigger boy landed was far more debilitating. In the end, Ranmaru got caught and was driven into the ground with one arm trapped in Shino's grasp.

"I give up," Ranmaru managed.

Shino let go of his arm and helped him stand back up off the ground, brushing off some of the dirt on the front of his clothes in a display of good sportsmanship.

"You are exceptional for your age, and if what you spoke of earlier is true, quite talented for the time you've spent training," Shino said, "Do you seek to become a taijutsu specialist or is this simply a secondary skill you wish to hone?"

I could already see some of the qualities that would turn him into a good instructor in the future—patience, thoroughness, and observation.

"Thanks," Ranmaru said, "I'm not really good at taijutsu yet, and I don't really know what I'll be—I'm a lot better with genjutsu, so it might be that."

"Interesting," Shino said, "The instructor of my team is a genjutsu specialist; perhaps you would be interested in meeting her."

#

"The ink hasn't even dried yet, and you're already making connections with my shinobi," Tsunade said, voice dry. "Team Ten seems particularly impressed with the three of you—should I be worried?"

"Ranmaru is like a magic wand; all I've got to do is wave him at someone, and boom, they've fallen under my spell," I said, "Does Ebisu really know how to do the Shadow Clone Technique? You're not trying to scam me, are you?"

"He knows it," Kakashi said.

"The three of you will need to undergo several tests to assess your skill levels over the next few days, and should you all pass, you will be officially enlisted as shinobi of Konohagakure," Tsunade said, leaning forward a bit. "There is also a required physical examination that I will be conducting personally at the hospital, either tomorrow or the day after that."

"Perfect," I said. "If I were to ask you to give all three of us the rank of genin, regardless of our skill levels, what would you say?"

"That's generally how the process works unless you are obviously beyond that rank," Tsunade said, narrowing her eyes. "Why do you wish to remain a genin?"

"Because the three of us are going to need to participate in the Leaf-Suna Joint Chunin Exams as a team," I said, smiling. "It's kind of important."

"A joint Chunin Exam?" Tsunade said, "I've never heard of anything like that."

"Once Gaara becomes the Kazekage—if he hasn't already done so—he will make the request to host the next Chunin Exams," I said, "There will be another request sent here, an offer to make it a cooperative event between Sunagakure and Konohagakure to help bind the two villages together in friendship. Each village will host different portions of the exams—the first stage here, the second stage there."

"What about the third stage?" Tsunade asked.

"There won't be a third stage," I admitted, "Because there will be an attack on the Kazekage and one of the participants of the exams, everyone will be sent back to their respective villages—which is when Akatsuki attacks and abducts the Jinchuuriki of the Seven-Tailed-Beast."

"You intend to make contact with the Jinchuuriki of Takigakure during the exam," Kakashi said, "To warn her about the Akatsuki?"

"To convince her to take me to Takigakure as an Emissary of Konohagakure to make contact in regards to our budding alliance," I said, smiling. "Then, when Kakuzu of Takigakure and Hidan of Yugakure shows up to abduct her—I'm going to kill them."

"Kakuzu of Takigakure?" Tsunade said, taken aback at the name. "He's still alive?"

"Alive and very, very dangerous," I said, nodding. "Between me, Karenbana, Ranmaru and the Jinchuuriki, we can probably manage it on our own—but it would be better if we had you, Kakashi, Gai and Jiraiya waiting in the wings to dogpile them."

"Kakuzu is an S-rank shinobi," Tsunade said, staring at me. "You believe the three of you could defeat him?"

"Every member of Akatsuki is S-rank, and while Hidan is probably the weakest member, he's still on that level," I offered, "It's not really about belief, though, because I've been preparing myself for this fight since I woke up on a beach in the Land of Moon—I'm going to kill them, or I'm going to die trying."

"Preferably the former?" Kakashi guessed.

"Wow, you really are a genius," I said, impressed. "Are all the Jounin of Konohagakure as wise as you?"

"Some of them," Kakashi offered. "I'm kind of special."

"Aren't you?" I said before trying to pull us back on track. "Still, we're getting kind of sidetracked here. These tests you want us to do, I'm probably going to fail a bunch of them because I'm not trained as a shinobi in any real way, and I don't even have chakra—but rest assured, I've killed multiple Chunin, and several Jounin."

Kakashi looked interested in the claim about killing so many shinobi, but Tsunade seemed far more focused on the other part.

"Kakashi mentioned your incredible lack of chakra," Tsunade said, leaning forward again. "I'll admit that I'm looking forward to finding out the details of that."

"You'll have to wait until we do the physical for me to explain that one, and I'll want something in return for the information," I said, making the transaction clear. "Now, focus, Tsunade, the tests, the tests—just how bad is your memory?"

"I'll start focusing," Tsunade said, eyebrow twitching. "When you stop looking down my shirt."

"I'm fucking trying," I said, outraged. "Instead of expecting me to possess superhuman levels of willpower, why don't you try not being so goddamn attractive all the time?"

#

"Obito Uchiha wasn't revived; he simply never died in the first place. He was, in fact, saved from the collapsing rubble by a thing called Zetsu, of which there are two types," I said, eyeing the slowly darkening sky over Tsunade's shoulder. "The black one, who is an ancient servant of Kaguya Otsusuki, has masterminded countless conflicts since the Sage of the Six Path. Then there is the white one, which is a kind of mindless thing that can follow orders—and which Kaguya seeks to turn every human on the planet into."

"Why would this Zetsu want to save Obito?" Kakashi asked, voice quiet. "What part does a half-dead thirteen-year-old boy play in his plans?"

"Black Zetsu's only real goal is to revive Kaguya but to do that, a lot of complicated conditions need to be fulfilled—and some of it is metaphysical stuff involving spiritual reincarnation that isn't going to sound very convincing on its own," I said, "So I'll give you the more grounded version first—there are more actors in this mess of a play who are involved, and the main one who wanted Obito alive was Madara Uchiha."

Tsunade hadn't said much since the topic of Obito had been officially broached, ceding the discussion almost entirely to Kakashi out of respect—and probably because he would know if I was attempting to pull anything. Instead, she'd moved to watch the sunset, her back confidently facing me as she stood in front of the window. The name, however, stirred her enough for her to finally turn back around, eyeing us both with a frown.

"You can think of it like layers of masterminds all attempting to manipulate each other," I said, trying to frame it for them. "In which each has a different motivation and thinks they are working towards the same plan, but each knows less of the full picture the lower you go."

I took a moment to figure out where to start and decided to just go with the overview.

"Nagato Uzumaki is the false leader of Akatsuki and seeks to combine all of the Tailed-Beasts into a single, country-destroying entity—he intends to showcase its power and then threaten the entire world into a forced peace where all wars will end forever." I said, "Obito Uchiha seeks to fulfil his mentor's plan by reviving him because he wants to live in an illusionary world where Rin is still alive. Madara Uchiha seeks to become the Jinchuriki of the Ten-Tailed-Beast and then cast an Infinite Tsukuyomi on the entire planet, casting everyone into an ideal illusionary world of his creation. Black Zetsu seeks to use Madara's body as a vessel to revive Kaguya."

Tsunade had completely turned around at this point, and Kakashi looked visibly stricken at the revelation of Obito's goal.

"Kaguya Otsusuki intends on casting that same illusion on the planet and then transforming everyone into White Zetsu in order to save us from the other Otsusuki or use us as an army against them," I said, shaking my head. "The process will strip away all of your individuality and leave you as mindless blank slates that can only follow orders—and will effectively be the end of life on this planet."

I watched the two of them for a moment as they tried to come to terms with the new reality of their world and whether or not they could stand to actually believe it.

"The reason you told me to only practice Kamui on water," Kakashi said after a long silence. "It's because Obito can use the technique as well—the water evaporates, but he would have noticed if anything permanent was left behind."

"You're way too smart for your own good," I said, smiling. "The two eyes are a pair, and the technique for both is Kamui—yours works at long distance, while his works on himself and anything he's touching."

"He can send himself to the other dimension?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes, and it functions in several ways; primarily, he makes himself intangible to all attacks so long as he holds the technique up, or he can fully send himself to the other dimension," I said, "That last version allows him to teleport long distances in an instant—eventually you'll learn how to send yourself to the other dimension by creating a barrier around yourself, but I think it's something that took a long time for you to learn."

"How strong is he right now?" Tsunade asked.

Kakashi shifted slightly, and for a moment, I wondered if he'd only just recalled that she'd been in the room—but then I remembered it was Kakashi fucking Hatake, and I doubted he'd ever let himself lose focus on his surroundings to that extent.

"When he was fifteen years old, Obito attacked Konohagakure with the intention of stealing the Nine-Tailed-Beast and attempted to kill Minato Namikaze in the process," I said, watching Kakashi. "I think you all know how that turned out—he almost killed Minato several times before he got hit with a Rasengan and then marked by the Flying Thunder God Technique."

The two of them seemed genuinely stunned at the information, each only knowing that the Kyuubi had attacked and that Minato had died, sealing it in Naruto.

"It wasn't a random attack," Kakashi murmured.

"It wasn't, and he probably could have killed just about anyone in the village at that age in a one-on-one battle," I said, "Right now, he's faster, stronger and more experienced; there's probably only a handful of people in the world who could survive him—Nagato Uzumaki is one; Itachi Uchiha may be another—and now that you know the secret of Kamui, you may be one of them."

Tsunade sat down at her desk again, looking like she had about a million questions about everything I'd just said.

"What's worse is that Obito has an even more annoying technique called Izanagi and a warehouse filled with Sharingan that he took after the Uchiha Clan massacre to fuel it," I said, "It's pretty much a get-out-of-death-free card, in which you sacrifice an eye in order to rewrite reality to make yourself undamaged, not on fire, or any other number of things—Danzo knows this one as well, for reference, and he has the arm of a man called Shin Uchiha attached to him, with ten Sharingan eye's implanted in it for the express purpose of abusing the technique."

Kakashi was silent in the face of the words, clearly trying to process everything—Tsunade was far less reserved.

"I need a drink," Tsunade said, rubbing her face with her hands. "I'm having a drink—Kakashi?"

"I probably shouldn't," Kakashi said, "But maybe it's not the worst idea."

Tsunade, bolstered by the words, slid open the drawer and placed a pair of white ceramic bottles on the top of the desk.

"I've barely scratched the surface of what I know," I said, not even bothering to hide the fact that I was staring down her shirt again. "Wait until I get to Toneri Otsutsuki—that's the guy who plans on smashing the moon into the planet, in case you were wondering."

"What?" Tsunade managed.

#

I leaned against the window, eyes once again finding the Hokage Monument—something I seemed to find myself drawn towards looking at almost every time I had something of a clear line of sight. I'd had to move almost three rooms over from where I was supposed to be to find a window in the first place, but considering the fact that Tsunade had been watching me for almost ten minutes now, I probably wasn't in too much trouble.

"Day four in Konohagakure, the days are long, the nights are somehow even longer than that, and now I'm beginning to see enormous faces growing out of the mountainside," I said, speaking loud enough that she couldn't possibly miss it. "It must be something in the water."

"Don't worry too much," Tsunade said, voice dry. "I see them too."

"Shared delusion?" I wondered. "I suppose if I'm going crazy, I might as well do it with the most beautiful woman in the village."

"From what I've been told, you're in a relationship with your terrifyingly competent bodyguard," Tsunade said, "Should you really be hitting on a woman twice your age?"

"Have you seen yourself, Tsunade?" I said, still watching the mountain. "Besides, Karenbana has a crush on you as well."

Tsunade snorted, and I couldn't help but think she'd spent far too much time around Tonton. I managed to tear my eyes away from the Third Hokage's face, still wondering what it would have been like if I'd arrived early enough to have met him.

"Hiruzen Sarutobi was your teacher," I said, "The God of Shinobi—was he as strong as they say?"

"Stronger," Tsunade admitted, "Time took its toll on him."

"Says the woman who's accumulated fourteen years of accelerated aging,'" I said, putting some additional emphasis on the words. "You might want to ease up on the whole Creation Rebirth thing—or you might end up healing yourself into an early grave."

Tsunade's eyes narrowed at the comment, but I just smiled at her.

"Sakura said you had strange healing abilities and something of a disregard for diagnostic techniques," Tsunade asked, voice a bit sharp. "But to think you could understand something like that with a glance."

"Oh, you should have seen her face when I said that," I said, actually laughing a bit. "My ability to see what's wrong with someone and then heal it isn't built on an actual understanding of the process like you have; it's more abstract than that, but it also allows me to fix things you would probably consider impossible."

"Like the malformed chakra network of a shinobi or transforming stone into flesh," Tsunade said, tilting her head. "What do you mean by more abstract?"

I considered her for a moment before stepping forward.

"I can look at a person and see some of the details of their life like it's written on a page—name, age, how much chakra they have, how much damage they can take before they expire, and a list of negative effects they are afflicted with," I said, stopping in front of her. "Rock Lee had something my ability called Malformed Chakra Network, while Kakeru Tsuki had Petrification and Kakashi has Incompatible Transplant."

"I have Accelerated Aging," Tsunade said, putting it together. "It really says the problem, as clearly as that?"

I nodded to confirm her guess.

"I designed a technique to cure Kakeru of his Petrification after I realised I could see the future, and then I found out it works on literally everything else," I said, sticking to the story I'd given everyone. "It works by assigning a number as a reference to how much durability the affliction has and then exchanges my energy to damage that number, reducing the effect until the person is cured."

"That is absurd," Tsunade said, "Each affliction would require a different treatment—transforming stone to flesh or creating new chakra coils entirely—how does one technique deliver such different outcomes?"

"It also purges sleeping drugs, reflex-altering poisons, radiation, old damage, frail bones and muscles—to put things into perspective for you," I said, holding my hand out, palm up. "It will also fix your cell division; if you're willing to take the chance."

"You never offered to deal with the negative effect Kakashi has," Tsunade said, "Why is that?"

"I'm absolutely certain I could heal Incompatible Transplant, but what exactly would the outcome look like?" I said, "Would it change his DNA to accommodate the Sharingan—or would it transform his Sharingan into a normal eye to remove the problem entirely?"

Tsunade dropped her gaze down to my still-extended hand.

"What effect would you expect it to have on me?" Tsunade said.

"It will either return your cell division to its original unaltered amount you had prior to abusing your technique, or it will simply renew your cells' ability to divide," I said, "Either way, the outcome is the same, and you'll be fourteen years younger—not to bully you into it or anything, but in exchange for explaining my lack of chakra, I'm going to request that you let me heal you."

Tsunade's eyes narrowed at the words, but she never lifted her gaze from my hand.

"It's been a very long time since I've let anyone other than Shizune use medical ninjutsu on me," Tsunade said, voice even. "Why would you use your part of the exchange for this—what do you gain from healing me?"

I just smiled.

"If you're going to trust me enough to let me point my fingers at you—I'm sure Kakashi has told you how dangerous that is—then you should be able to tolerate me extending your life by fourteen years," I said, "Besides, I don't use ninjutsu, and Kakashi must have told you that I don't even—ouch."

I'd reached out towards her shoulder, aiming to see if she'd let me take the initiative, and unsurprisingly I found my wrist caught in a grip that was more than capable of crushing my arm to dust without any kind of chakra use.

"If it doesn't do what you say it will," Tsunade said, staring at me now. "You're going to lose this hand."

"I could probably grow another one if I tried hard enough," I said, attempting to smile through the pain of her grip. "Feel free to double-check my work, though—Status Removal."

I winced as her grip tightened further, in what was probably a pre-emptive positioning in case I used the moment to attack her, and this time something painful shifted in my arm—still, the technique activated with a flash of white light beneath her palm. I dumped all of my mana into the spell. At twenty-seven mana and around ninety-durability per skill use, it was the equivalent of nine casts, for a combined total of eight-hundred-and-ten durability—I was lightyears ahead of where I'd been back in the Land of Moon, but it was still only enough to knock it down to twelve years.

"Two years of cell division cleared in an instant," I said, right eye clenched shut against the bright pain. "Not bad for a first try—should I go again?"

The green glow of her technique appeared without any use of handseals, and she touched her left hand to the back of the one that was still cutting off circulation to my arm. I dropped into Meditate while she was checking to make sure I hadn't done something odd to her and then settled in to wait. My natural health regeneration seemed to be attempting to pull whatever bone she'd shifted out of place back but couldn't seem to overcome her grip—resulting in a kind of painful loop of almost healing before shifting again.

"You should have waited until I gave you permission," Tsunade said, grip slowly lessening. "I almost broke your arm."

"I like to live dangerously," I said, "Or as Karenbana likes to put it—I'm something of a reckless idiot."

I used the technique a second time, knocking it down to ten years, and she glared at me as I once again acted without her permission. But this time, she didn't break anything, apparently content to focus on whatever stream of information her diagnostic technique was feeding her about it.

"You're renewing the cells," Tsunade said. "It's targeting an even spread across my entire body, and there's nothing to be learned from it—it's simply flipping the cells into an undivided state."

"That's actually pretty interesting," I said, impressed that she could actually track what was going on at all. "Maybe I should spend a weekend designing a technique that makes people younger through renewing cell division? I could make a fortune just selling youth."

Tsunade glanced up from her technique for a moment, brow furrowed. I used Status Removal again, continuing my efforts to clear out the damage.

"I can't tell if you're joking or not," Tsunade said.

"I could probably do it," I admitted, "But honestly, the last time I designed something that complicated, I accidentally trapped myself in a three-day-locked-in-depression-coma—I think I destroyed all of my dopamine receptors or something."

Tsunade stared at me with a sort of sick fascination, like she wasn't sure if I was some kind of genius or the world's luckiest idiot—jokes on her because I was both. It took a few more repeats, but in about thirty seconds, I'd cleared the rest of the damage and returned her to normal.

"Why Tsunade, you're looking fourteen years younger," I said, wriggling my eyebrows down at her. "How do you do it? Daily exercise? A careful diet? Secret—but very frequent—dalliances with a handsome younger man and his sultry bodyguard? You simply must tell me your secret."

"Sakura was right," Tsunade said, eyeing me. "You are definitely trouble."

"I'd wager that I'm far more trouble then you could handle," I said, smiling. "But, once you're finished sating your curiosity with my unique physiology, you should take me to one of your incurable patients—I'll bet you a thousand Moon Dollars that I can fix them."

A glint of interest shone through in her eyes, impossible to hide—the curse of a gambler.

#

"No, I mean it literally gives you radiation poisoning," I said, shaking my head. "The radiation does something to your chakra that increases its density of it, which in turn increases your overall capacity."

Tsunade was following the discussion closely, clearly building up a litany of questions to throw at me the moment Kakashi ran out.

"How dangerous is the radiation?" Kakashi asked.

"Long-term exposure without any kind of medical treatment is almost always fatal, although people seem to have wildly different tolerances to it," I said, "The longest someone survived was about ten years, and they managed to accumulate a massive amount of chakra—enough that she could manifest it as a pair of wings at will and literally fly around whenever she pleased."

Kakashi nodded at the answer and then glanced back over at Tsunade, who spoke up immediately.

"How quickly does the deterioration occur?" Tsunade said.

"Karenbana and Ranmaru have both been using it," I said, thinking about it. "The longest I've left either of them untreated is three days, and neither of them reported any kind of pain or discomfort. I know that at least one kid in Hoshigakure died after what must have been six months of training—it was very clear he was ill, but they kept making him use it."

"My examinations of the three of you have shown no sign of any kind of radiation or the damage caused by it," Tsunade said, "I would very much like to see the effects for myself—although I suppose asking for something outside of the scope of our agreement will incur some kind of cost."

"You already know me so well," I said, beaming. "How about dinner? You, me, my bodyguard—Kakashi can come too, but only if you let me see what's under your mask—"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at the offer, but before I could even finish, a knock rang out somewhere behind me—I trailed off, curious about why Shizune had returned so quickly.

"Tsunade?" Shizune said from somewhere behind me. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but we've just received a missive from Sunagakure—it is marked with the official seal of the Kazekage."

I perked up at the news, turning around in my chair to get a better look at her—nothing more than a floating head peeking through the gap in the doors. Tsunade—who'd seemed a little bit annoyed at being pulled away from the discussion right when she'd finally gotten a chance to start asking questions about the meteorite—hummed at the words.

"Please bring it in," Tsunade said, "Was there anything from Jiraiya?"

Shizune closed the door behind her with that same faint click and swept across the room with all the grace of a trained killer. The scroll in her hand was both capped at the ends and tied shut with a dark red ribbon, and a puddle of solid wax was just visible beneath her fingers as she passed by me.

"Nothing from any of the—uh—expected channels," Shizune said, catching herself at the last moment. "Perhaps they are away from any of the larger cities and haven't managed to check up as of yet."

Smooth, Shizune, real smooth. I leaned forward, wondering at the undercurrent of worry I felt that my interference had somehow derailed the future and prevented Gaara from becoming the next Kazekage.

"We'll give them another week to respond; after that, we'll send someone to go find them," Tsunade said, already unwrapping the scroll. "Hm—It's the same seal as the one Rasa used."

Rasa—Gaara's father and the man that Orochimaru had replaced—a ballsy move and one that only someone in his family was likely to make.

"Gaara of the Sand has become the Fifth Kazekage of Sunagakure," Tsunade said, staring down at the scroll with interest. "An Emissary will be sent to meet with me in one month—the itinerary of which will include the discussion of a jointly hosted Chunin Exam."

The sun rose every morning, the oceans remained forever wet, and once again, I was completely correct about everything. Gaara had done his part by becoming the youngest Kazekage who had ever lived. Tsunade would most likely do hers by agreeing to help organise the first-ever Suna-Konoha Chunin Exams. Then, with Karenbana and Ranmaru at my side, I would befriend the green-haired-girl, follow her back to Takigakure as an Emissary of Konohagakure and the Land of Moon—and then, when Kakuzu and Hidan made the mistake of showing up, we would crush them beneath our heel.

END PART 1.

----------------------------------------

Status

Name – Sora

Age – 24

Money – 31,268

Health Points – 1940/1940

Mana Points – 227.75/227.75

Stamina Points – 227.75/227.75

Vitality – 189

Strength – 272

Speed – 186

Intelligence – 68

Luck – 69

HP Recovery – 14.75/s

MP Recovery – 29.5/s

SP Recovery – 29.5/s

Mana Cost Reduction – 127.75

Skill Creation Resistance – 6

Skills

Gamer Body(LvMax)

The user will not falter until their HP reaches zero.

Eating, drinking and sleeping are optional.

Sleeping in a bed restores HP, MP and cures all status effects.

Immunity to mental and perception-based attacks.

Health Recovery(Lv59)

Increases health regenerated per second by 14.75 (+0.25 per level)

Regenerating health grants EXP towards this skill.

Health Core(Lv200)

Increases total health by 50 (+0.25 per level)

Depleting health grants EXP towards this skill.

Mana Recovery(Lv118)

Increases mana regenerated per second by 29.5 (+0.25 per level)

Regenerating mana grants EXP towards this skill.

Mana Core(Lv511)

Increases total mana by 127.75 (+0.25 per level)

Depleting mana grants EXP towards this skill.

Mana Mastery(Lv511)

Reduces the mana cost of skills by 127.75 (+0.25 per level)

Using skills with reduced mana cost grants EXP towards this skill.

Stamina Recovery(Lv118)

Increases stamina regenerated per second by 29.5 (+0.25 per level)

Regenerating stamina grants EXP towards this skill.

Stamina Core(Lv511)

Increases total stamina by 127.75 (+0.25 per level)

Depleting stamina grants EXP towards this skill.

Weapon Mastery(Lv196)

Reduces complexity of using weapons by 49 (+0.25 per level)

Using melee weapons grants EXP towards this skill.

Martial Arts(Lv93)

Reduces complexity of hand-to-hand combat by 23.25 (+0.25 per level)

Performing unarmed attacks grants EXP towards this skill.

Acrobatics(Lv73)

Reduces complexity of acrobatic movements by 18.25 (+0.25 per level)

Performing acrobatics grants EXP towards this skill.

Observe(LvMAX)

Exchange 1(100) mana to receive detailed information about a target.

Active skill use grants EXP towards this skill.

Stealth(Lv566)

Reserve 1(100) mana to reduce visual detection and noise emission by 141.5 (+0.25 per level)

Active skill use grants EXP towards this skill.

Heal(Lv412)

Exchange 1(100) mana to restore 103 health (+0.25 per level)

Active skill use grants EXP towards this skill.

Meditate(Lv473)

Increase mana and stamina recovery by 118.25 (+0.25 per level) so long as the user remains completely still.

Active skill use grants EXP towards this skill.

Line Spear(Lv296)

Exchange 22.25(150) mana to fire a piercing line of mana with up to 74m range and 74 penetration (+0.25 per level)

Active skill use grants EXP towards this skill.

Energy Sense(Lv543)

Reserves 1(100) mana to sense sources of energy within a radius of 135.75m (+0.25 per level)

Active skill use grants EXP towards this skill.

Status Removal(Lv376)

Exchange 22.25(150) mana to lower the durability of the status effect by 94 (+0.25 per level)

Active skill use grants EXP towards this skill.

Iron Hide(Lv539)

Reserves 22.25(150) mana to mitigate incoming damage by 134.75 (+0.25 per level)

Active skill use grants EXP towards this skill.

Surface Adhesion(Lv481)

Reserve 1(100) mana per second to stick to a solid surface with a weight limit of 120.25kg (+0.25 per level)

Active skill use grants EXP towards this skill.

Refresh(Lv37)

Exchanges 0.25 mana to recharge the target's resource pool up to 9.25 (+0.25 per level)

Active skill use grants EXP towards this skill.

Jaunt(Lv112)

Exchange 172.25(300) mana to reposition the user by 28m (+0.25 per level)

Active skill use grants EXP towards this skill.