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Maniac's Mayhem: A guide to being a corporate slave
Chapter Twenty-One: Back To School

Chapter Twenty-One: Back To School

Even with how powerful Samurai are and how much they are at the forefront of the media, it is still exceedingly rare to meet one in person. There are, all things considered, only a handful, if not less, in any given megacity. Making meeting one almost one in one million chances. it comes as no surprise then that most people don't know what to do when they meet a Samurai. But don't worry, in my new course, I will explain how to get the most value out of a chance encounter with a Samurai.

-- Ad for a new online course, how I became a millionaire after meeting a Samurai.

After dealing with the gangsters and making sure that Skylar’s girlfriend got home safely, I am now slowly escorting Skylar back to the orphanage. We are walking in the neon lighting of the streets in silence.

“Thank you?” Skylar says in a way that makes it sound more like a question.

“It was no problem; really, I wish it had a more peaceful solution.”

“Could have fooled me. You seem to enjoy fighting a lot.”

I consider the statement for a bit. “You’re right. I do like fighting, but that doesn't mean that I want to turn every meeting into a fight.”

Skylar gives me a long look before admitting, “You’re a lot different than what I expected a Saint to be like.”

“Honestly, I am a lot different from what I thought a Saint should be like.”

“Do you hate that? That you aren't like the other ones?”

I shake my head. “Not really, they are just people too, and they make people mistakes, probably different from the mistakes that I have made, but yeah, just people.”

“It’s kind of hard to think of Saints as people when they can do whatever they want without consequences.“

I want to instantly reject that, but stop. There is an undertone of anger and resentment in the statement that I find hard to parse. “Is that what you would do if you were a Saint?”

"I think so. If I had your power, I wouldn't have to be afraid of what other people think of me. I could do what I want without anyone being able to hold me back.” Skylar sounds quite desperate, to the point where I wondered what her life was like before all of this.

“Skylar, I promise you that I will protect you, and I will give you a better life, the life you deserve, a life where you can do whatever you want and nobody can say a thing about it, just give me some time to take down the shield”

“Okay,” Skylar says with a nod that feels more like something she did out of obligation than something she truly believes in. Which is fine. I don’t need her to believe me anyway; I just have to make it happen no matter what.

We walk the rest of the way in relative silence and manage to make it to the orphanage without anything else going wrong. Once we make it back, we are almost idly swept into the living room and put down in front of an old whiteboard with the rest of the children. It looks like we were late for the lesson, and Amira wants to rectify that as soon as possible.

Amira smiles as she gets all the children to quiet down to start her lesson. “As we all know, we humans are continuously tested, especially now with the plant demons all around us. I know it is hard to still believe in our lords, the protectors above, but I believe their saints can get us out of this. I know you don't believe me, so let me all tell you a story about the first saints.”

As I am getting myself more comfortable to properly listen to the lecture I get a ping on my augs. Ashley has sent me a message.

(Ashley) hey, you left in a hurry. Did you get to kill lots of plants?

(Evelin) yeah, we did. There were these giant dinosaur-looking things that finally gave me enough points so I could invest in teleportation.

(Ashley) ooh, heck yeah, that sounds awesome. You should definitely show it off when you get the chance.

(Evelin) I will, but should you not be paying attention to the lesson?

(Ashley) There is no need. Skylar has already tutored me on this, so this is all basic for me.

(Evelin) Oh, really, so you would not mind if I tested you?

I look up at Ashley with a smirk, giving her a small wink when she looks at me.

(Ashley) Why should you do that?

(Evelin) Because I would like to know the skills of my future secretary.

I wait for a while, looking at the three dots in my screen, bouncing up and down with nothing happening. When I look back at Ashley, she is just staring into space, completely frozen. I just smile. I am unsure what is going through her head, but it must be rather complicated.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

I decided to focus back on the lesson, which is still this weird mixture of religious ritual and recent history. As someone who has stayed away from religion for the biggest part of my life, it is kind of interesting. The fact that they are treating samurai as recently appointed Saints by the Lord is kind of an insane idea, but so is the idea that aliens are doing it, so I get the appeal. You can trust a god to have your best interests in mind compared to some far off alien race.

It makes me, all in all, feel rather weird, like what Amira explains is not wrong, just misguided. That thought comes to a screeching halt as I burst out laughing as Amira describes Magenta as an angel of mercy and that every girl should endeavour to be just like her.

“Something you want to share with the rest of the class?” Amira glares down at me.

“Uhm, no, sorry. Please continue.” I say, looking at the floor, feeling a bit chastised.

“If you are not going to pay attention to my lesson, you don’t have to be here, you know that, right?”

“I know, and I was paying attention.”

“Then did I say something humorous? I would like to hear it too, then?”

“No, I mean, kind of. I know Magenta, and you calling her an angel was just funny.”

Everyone seems to be a bit surprised, but Amira rallies quickly, “I see, so you two are close, and you don’t think she is an angel.”

I pause for a second to collect my thoughts. “I mean, I think she is kind and genuinely wants to help people. I don’t know her that well, so I can’t be sure. Just it’s kind of hard to think of someone as an angel, if the only thing you've seen them do is splatter the walls with aliens or flirt with your girlfriend.”

Now I hear laughing as well and Amira just looks at me, unimpressed, before she sighs. “Well, I guess a distraction once in a while is good.” She turns around and walks back to the whiteboard to continue her lesson.

I decide that it is better to leave it at that as well, and follow the rest of the lesson in silence. Once the lesson was over, I motion for Ashley to follow me back to her room… or I guess it was still our room.

Ashley turns to me as soon as I close the door “So, your girlfriend.,” she says with a wicked smile.

“You're not going to ask about the Magenta part?” I ask, a bit confused.

“I mean, you’re a Saint, a very weird Saint, but a Saint nonetheless. It stands to reason that you know some other Saints. I am interested in the girlfriend part, because I thought that Miss Lameach was your girlfriend.”

“She is, or like she is the other me’s girlfriend. I don’t see how that is important.”

“Wait, so how many girlfriends do you have?” Ashley asks looking shocked.

“Three,” I say nonplussed.

“Who let you be a Saint?”

I burst out laughing at that one. “Honestly, I've been wondering about that for a long time as well.”

Ashley looks at me, a bit uneasy. “So why did you actually come here? I doubt it was just to mess up Amira’s lesson.”

“I mean, I do think that getting to know everyone is a good idea, since I would like to move all of you to a better area, and you knowing me might help ease you into it, but it is not the only reason why I am here.” I take out the shielding glove and hand it to her.

“What is this,” Ashley asks confused.

“It's a Sainti item capable of creating a shield. I want you to take it and try to learn how it works just in case things go bad and I am not here.” I say, handing over the glove.

She looks at it, a bit surprised, as she puts it on. “Okay, I know the situation is kind of dire and all that, but this is definitely the coolest thing that ever happened to me,” She has a big smile on her face, as she laughs, messing around with the glove.

I mirror her smile. “Let's just hope the only time you have to use it is for party tricks.”

She whirls back to me, “I am allowed to use it at parties?”

“Yes, no, uhm, kind of. It is yours and getting some practice with it can only be a good thing. The only thing I ask is that you ensure it is always charged enough to protect yourself and the people you care about.”

“Evelin, thank you. I know you did not have to do any of this, and I will always be grateful.”

“It's fine, don’t worry about it. I can’t always be here, so having people I can trust is important. How have things been going over here?”

“It's okay.” Ashley says in an unsure tone, “There are a lot more rough-looking people walking around in this area now.”

My eyes go wide “Are you safe? Do you need my help with dealing with them? I can also ask Katelyn to increase the guards stationed around here.”

“It’s fine. Someone already increased the guards in the area. I had assumed that was you.”

I quickly survey the local network and find that both the twins and Katelyn have put out orders to pay extra attention to this area. “I see. I am sorry. I should have paid more attention to your security.”

“This is the undercity. Nothing is safe here. I should know. I grew up here. If you want us to be safe, you should give us all guns instead.”

“Where am I supposed to get a gun from?” I wonder out loud.

“You're a samurai. Can’t you just order one?” Ashley asks, looking confused.

“I don’t actually have a catalogue for guns.” I admit a bit sheepishly.

“You're telling me you have been fighting aliens without a gun?”

“Why use a gun when a sword kills them just as dead?” I ask.

“You are insane? So what? You just run at them with a sword and shield?”

“I don’t really use a shield.” I pause, “Or a sword?” I pull out the halberd.

Ashley looks at the thing with fascination. “That thing looks scary. Can I have one of those?”

“Maybe, but I don’t have enough points at the moment to give you one. Also, a shorter weapon might be more useful if you are fighting people in tight spaces.”

“You want me to fight people?” she asks, looking at me with surprise and fear.

“Uhm, no, it's more of a hope for the best, plan for the worst, Ashley.” I look her straight in the eyes. “I promise you I will never make you do something you don’t want to do; I am not your parent or your owner.” I feel like I have been making these promises more frequently now, so I should definitely start working on actually completing them soon.

She looks surprised, but the fear seems to disappear. “What am I then, one of your girls for your harem”

“Uh, what? No, never, I… weren’t you straight? Anyway, no, I just want to be friends”

Ashley laughs loudly. “Ooh, you are so easy. Gosh, I guess I was really in my own head after seeing you fight. Sure, we can be friends.”

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