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Maniac's Mayhem: A guide to being a corporate slave
Chapter Fifteen: Aviation for Dummies

Chapter Fifteen: Aviation for Dummies

Once I am inside, I try jumping over the front desk. Sadly, I forgot to inject myself with the strength enhancers. So instead, I do a pathetic little hop, ram into the desk, and slowly fall over it. I hit the ground and just lay there thinking of my life choices for a while. Until I hear the laughing. I quickly stand up and brush myself off.

“I see now why Liquid Catalyst wants to work with you. You’re hilarious,” Silver Scorpian says, still laughing.

As I try not to let that get to me, I plug into the front desk. It's not something I would typically do, but I trust Lyssa's ability to keep viruses out of my system. Sometimes, having been a corporate drone pays off since I can easily jack into their system and gain access to the plans of the building, including where the turrets and cameras are set up. Sadly, these people are smart, and the turrets are not connected to the main net, but knowing where they are will help, I hope.

‘Lyssa, activate super strength and give me some painkillers. Time to make my lousy week everyone else's problem.'

New Purchase: Class I general combat Painkiller 60cc

Points reduced to... 150

I jump back to the other side of the desk, this time clearing the thing and landing perfectly.

“Are you ready to move, or are you just going to stand there giggling to yourself?”

“Yes, I am coming,” he says. “Do you have a plan?”

“Well, I just got the map to the building, so I know where the turrets are. I locked all the doors so the security can not move around as easily, so I say we take our little issue directly to the big boss.”

He looks at me, confused. “And how is that going to help us, exactly.”

“Patience, my dear student. All will be revealed in the end.” I say, then I turn to him. “If you wanted to sit in on the planning session, you should not have tried to choke me to death.”

He looks a bit awkward after that. It’s not that I blame him. There is nothing I would not do to get my family back. But that does not mean I will let him off the hook that easily.

We make good progress throughout the building. It helps that my spear can go straight through the wall to hit the turrets behind them. I have been paying more attention to structural integrity since my first incident, so the walls should hold even with a hole in them. The only problem is the power drain. Sadly, we have to take the stairs. The elevators are trapped, and I have no safe way of bypassing them yet. Having all the doors locked helps as well. It takes us a while to find some people that put up some kind of resistance.

Most people try to stay as far away from us as possible. The few idiots who come at us with weapons are quickly de-armed, or worse, this kid is shooting lasers out of his tail. There's not much I can do to stop that. Not that I want to in the first place.

As we sit down for a bit to discuss how to get through the next couple of rooms, I get the message I have been waiting for and just start laughing.

Silver Scorpion jumps and looks at me, confused. “What the fuck. Why are you laughing?”

“I guess plans changed. Follow me; it's time for the second phase of the plan,” I say while turning off all the cameras and destroying the elevator traps.

“Okay, what are we going to do now, then?” He looks kind of scared.

“Don’t worry, we are just going to speed up the process, so we are taking the lift.”

He looks at me confused but still follows me. This kid needs some serious guidance, like asking questions and making your own decisions. I know I said I would help him, and I am, but still, where does this blind trust come from?

We make it to the elevator, and I press the button for the top floor. Guess we're just skipping the rest of the security personnel. When we leave the elevator, I hear a yelp and see an office worker, probably a secretary, cowering in the corner. I wave at her and then make a shush motion with my finger before continuing further.

We make it to some kind of big vault-type door, but it looks like it's made out of wood. It only takes me a second to break the security lock. Once the door opens, what waits for us on the other side is a frankly massive office. What's up with these CEO types and having big offices anyway? Behind some ostentatious wooden desk, probably made out of oak or something fancy, sits a man. He is frankly an unremarkable mid-30s guy. His suit looks fancy. He has some weird techie-looking pin on it. Wonder what it is for.

“Well, well, look who is finally here.” The man says, totally too calm for this situation. It kind of pisses me off. “Are you two done throwing your little tantrum?”

‘Lyssa, do me a favour and hack into any broadcasting network and billboard in the area that you can find.’

Ooh? Lyssa wants to ask why, but Lyssa thinks getting popcorn ready is a better idea.

The man continues his monologue. "The wimpy scorpion and the crazy one, it's so nice to meet you, but if you wanted to join the operation, you could have just called.”

“I am not joining anything. I was just called down here to recover this guy’s family, so while I am still playing nice, how about you hand them over.” I say, walking up to the desk; this asshole has not even bothered getting up from his plush chair.

“Now, now, miss Maniac, that is no way to talk with your future business partner. After all, I know you won't do anything as long as I hold his family. In a safe place, of course. So be a good girl now and follow my lead. Let's see, for starters, how about taking your mask off? It is no way to have a polite conversation after all.”

“What is it with old people and their obsession with my mask?” I say while picking up one of those fancy 3k credit fountain pens on his desk. “For the last time, I am not single. So I am not interested in any relationship.”

He looks a bit startled. “You are mistaken. The only thing I want from you is your Samurai tech. It will come in handy for the future development of our company.”

I activate my arm and throw the pen. I didn’t hit him, I wasn’t aiming for him anyway, just the window behind him to send a message. The sound of broken glass is so beautiful it makes me smile. He is finally silent, staring at me with wide eyes.

This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

‘Lyssa, did you manage to get in?’

I am in.

At the same time, she sent me a GIF of my face, but with green eyes, putting on sunglasses. I try to suppress my disappointment and move on.

‘Make all of them display this room and make sure to capture audio.’

Easy, Lyssa will make sure to stream you in 4k.

“So you are saying that I have to do what you say? Or what?” I ask, while jumping on the desk and slowly approaching him.

“Well, I wanted to do this nicely, but you left me no choice,” he says while straightening his tie. “You do as I say, or the family suffers the consequences. Maybe I should already punish you for this. I guess you don’t need a mom.”

His eyes glaze over, indicating that he is using his augs in some way. He stays there for a while, his smug smile slowly dropping from his face.

“What, having performance issues?” I say, jumping from the desk and pushing his chair further backward.

“What is going on?” He asks, confusion evident.

“Well, that's easy; your trump card is people, and the problem with that, is that people can be moved pretty easily. And then suddenly you have no more cards to play.”

“So, what now, then?” he asks.

“Now, I am going to make something very clear. To me, you and everyone who is watching have only two options when dealing with me. Option 1: You leave me and my colleagues alone. This includes our friends and family.”

“Option 2,” I say, putting my leg on his fancy office chair. “You learn how to fly.”

And then I kick, sending the fancy office chair sliding backward straight through the broken window. I hear a brief scream before the wind overpowers the sound.

‘I think that is enough. Lyssa, cut the recording.’

I start to giggle, going into full-blown laughter. Well, this is fun. And so easy as well. I might have overplanned my revenge thing a bit.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” Scorpion screams. “What is going on? Why are we not rescuing my family?”

“Ooh, right, they have already been saved. We are not the rescue team. We are the, let's say, distraction.”

“What do you mean? Where are they, then?”

“Well, they're at our base. Deatnite and Bubbles have already rescued them. Want me to show the way?”

“Yeah, I want to go; why didn’t you tell me?”

“A combination of reasons, most prominent of which is your incompetence. If I were to go with you to the building your parents were in, things might have gone south because of you. So going here was safer for you and for them. Also, they are probably monitoring you somehow, so staying away from your parents was the safer option.”

“I see, so we drove all the way here to make the Corpos think we have no clue where they are.”

“Yeah, something like that. Listen, kid, you are in a tough spot and have a lot of growing up to do, so make sure you ask for help when needed; your AI can make it so no one can track your calls. It would have made this entire situation a lot easier,” I say.

Fuck, guess I have to grow up as well. I am doing the exact same thing. Well, that is a sobering thought. Well, nothing to do about it.

We quickly make it back down and get in the car. I give him the address, and we are off. I guess there is no speed limit for Samurai. While we are passing some billboards advertising underwear or beers, I get called. I turn to Silver Scorpion.

“Be quiet for a bit; I am getting a call.” Then, I take off the mask and answer the call.

“Hey, love, how are you doing?”

“Hey, are you okay? I got the message that some Samurai kidnapped you,” Cierra says, concern in her voice.

“Well, kind of. You know how your uncle has been in the news because of the MelineTec stuff? So he told me to get rid of it. As I was doing that, I kind of tripped a Samurai alarm. Apparently, MelineTec had just kidnapped some Samurai's family, and they thought I had something to do with it.”

“Ooh no, are you okay? Did they hurt you?”

“I am fine, just spent some time helping them find the real culprit, that is all. It was mostly a very pleasant experience, I would say.”

“So, you're safe then. Are they still with you?”

“Yeah, I am in a car with Maniac and Silver Scorpion.”

“Ooh, wow, that is so cool; you think you can get me an autograph?”

I chuckle a bit, “I'll see what I can do. I need to go now. Bye-bye.”

I hang up the call. I am about to put my mask back on when I see Silver staring, with wide eyes and mouth agape, at me. Not even paying attention to the road.

“Something wrong?” I ask.

“You have a lover, and you can be nice. I just did not expect that.”

“What is this? Of course, I am nice. The only people that I am not nice to are the ones that assault me in my own home. Wait, that is not right. The only people I am not nice to are those who attack me.”

“Right, sorry about that. That was poor planning on my part.”

“Ooh, whatever,” I say, and I put my mask back on. “I forgive you.”

The rest of the ride to the hotel is pretty uneventful. We make it inside, and Silver is reunited with his parents and little brothers. It's all very lovely. But at the same time, it makes me want to leave this place as soon as possible. Bubbles and Deatnite are also still here, and so is another person I have not met before. She has this bright purple hair. And when I say bright, I mean that it is literally glowing. Her eyes are also something else: bright rainbow coloured things, with pupils shaped like stars.

“And that, my dear Sparkles, is the newest member of our Samurai family. Say hello to Maniac.” The strange girl says.

“Aah, you must be that Sparkle Boom Boom, right? Are you filming?” I ask the girl.

“It's Sparkling Magenta Explosion, and yes, I am streaming to my fans, the Sparkles; they have been fairly curious about you. Mind answering some questions? ”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Not really. First question my chat wants to know: why do you want to wear the mask?”

“Because I got hurt really badly, and my face is all fucked up, so I don’t want to show it to people.”

“What kind of bullshit is that?” Bubbles says. “I saw your face, and you are beautiful.”

“Bubbles, that was supposed to be just between you and me,” I say in my best-embarrassed voice.

It is silent for a bit after that, before I burst out laughing.

“Okay, I think that is enough for today, my lovely Sparkles. I need to talk about some stuff with my lovely family; I will be back streaming on Saturday. See you then.” the streamer says before turning to me. “Hello again. Sorry about that. Everyone has just been really curious about you.”

“No problem, but someone take care of the kid for me.” I say, while pointing at Silver Scorpion. “I need a fucking break.”

I lay down on one of the couches. Fuck, I am tired.

‘Lyssa, is there anything we still need for tomorrow?’

No, all the prep work is done. And Sam is making sure that everything runs on schedule. If you like, Lyssa can recommend some items you might need in the future.

‘I don’t think that is particularly useful since I have no place to store those items.’

That is why Lyssa would like to recommend the Protracting Tourmaline Sabre Driver. It is an implant that allows a long curved blade to spring out of your forearm. It will be hidden at all times until activated, so you will always have a weapon.

‘Okay, so how much is this going to cost?’

Not that much, since we have the surgery room. We can remove the field application requirement. If you were to share a catalog with the Vanguard Sparkling Magenta Explosion, it would cost you 100 points. I would also recommend you get another item out of her catalog for 1 point to give to Cierra.

‘That sounds reasonable, let me ask.’

“Hey, Sparkling Explosion, is it okay if I borrow your catalog for some purchases?”

“You forgot the Magenta, but fine. You will owe me a favour, though,” she says.

‘Well, hit it, Lyssa.’

New Purchase: Protracting Tourmaline Sabre Driver

Points reduced to... 50

New Purchase: Team Super Purple Group Figurines

Points reduced to... 49

In front of me appears a box, which honestly is something in and of itself. It has logos and colours that correspond to all the Samurai in the room. I open the box, and inside, I find our group in figurine form, doing all kinds of battle poses, standing together on a completely black base except for a white strip in front of each of our feet. The detail and colours of our models are fantastic and I stand there staring. I am not the only one since Magenta and Bubbles are also staring.

“Why did you get that?” the streamer asks.

“Present for my girlfriend. She loves Samurai, so this is great. You see those white parts. Can you guys sign them for me?”

“I don’t see why not.”

After that, everyone, including me, signs their respective fields, and I put the… Figurine? Diorama? Back into the box. Then I say a quick goodbye to everyone before heading to the surgery room.