Painyll draped dramatically across his cushions and declared, "Oh, but it is a languid day!"

I chewed on my fruit and gave him a look. "Is it?"

"You don't get that sense, my liege?" I didn't consider the day any different than the others. It was hot but not as hot as it could have been. The sun was bright. The breeze was notably absent. The worms weren't impaired. By my reckoning, it was Painyll who was languid. "You aren't overwhelmed with a weakness that grips you and robs you of motivation?"

I had to process that. "Are you referring to your writing?"

"Yes!" Painyll raised his head. "It's atrocious. I think I'm getting somewhere and then I cannot predict the appropriate word to follow the first. Poetry without the proper language is not poetry. It is a dictionary."

That didn't sound right.

"Perhaps it is owed to a lack of stimulation," poised the Dramatist. He leered at me, suddenly determined. "Stimulate me, my liege."

"Rott," I said quickly to the worm curled beside my feet, "Let's go for a walk."

My liege?

"Don't go," cried Painyll, reaching out for me from the cushions. "That would make it worse. I would be left alone with the..." He viewed his surroundings. "...worms."

"Worse, you say?" I beamed.

"Intolerably so!"

Rott and I summarily wandered the ruined road that led from the palace gates. It was warmer in the direct sunlight but there was wind in the valley, mitigating the heat and creating a temperature comparable to the throne room. Dragonflies flitted about, buzzing with idle songs. Rott slithered ahead, delighted by the stroll. We haven't done this in a long time, my liege.

"What?" I asked. "Walk? We walk everyday." Then, "I do. You've never walked a day in your life."

Walking around the palace isn't the same. I like to walk with you.

"I don't see why this is any different. Does the act of being outside somehow change the quality of the action?"

Rott breathed, Yes.

"What I like," I said serenely, "is not having any poets in the vicinity."

I'm still unclear on the details, my liege. You forced the inventor to build a device before you granted clemency.

"Our new guest," I remarked, "is different than Nolwud. If I wish to use him a capital, he will need to remain in pristine condition."

You couldn't see to it in the dungeon?

"I feel as though I could," I sulked. "But the Technologist--"

The inventor has made this decision? Rott was relieved. I was worried you played favorites. I worried the inventor would be hurt.

I forget their odd friendship. "I'm the one who's hurt. I have to endure that useless wastrel. I'm sure no one's happy about scrounging extra food."

We hadn't noticed a difference, said Rott. One mouth, five mouths. It's a paltry number.

"He better have something decent written when I return," I cautioned. "His freedom is a privilege, not a right. If he can't make it worth my while, he will live in the dungeon."

Who is going to the dungeon? I turned my eyes up. A small green dragonfly hovered in the air above my head. It flitted closer. A worm, fallen out of favor?

"No," I said firmly. "Nothing you would be able to devour."

My liege? Rott looked my way. Following my gaze, he spied the insect. Oh.

Pity, hummed the dragonfly.

"Eat each other," I advised. "I've seen you do it plenty of times."

Shall I tell you a secret, whispered the dragonfly. Would you like to hear a secret?

Insects were a reliable source of clandestine information. "Tell me."

Your trinkets to the north have been stolen. They came. They crept cautiously. Covered them in pouches and made off with them. I frowned. Twelve.

"Twelve intruders or twelve beacons?" Rott bristled at the mention of outsiders. "When?"

Trinkets. I clenched my fists. They must be worth taking to be taken in such quantities, yes?

My liege, mumbled Rott. What was that about intruders?''

"They're not still here," I assured him. I ruminated. Were they? "They're not still here?"

Days ago, confirmed the dragonfly. Would you like to see where?

A sizable swath of land had been picked clean. I was angry, not only for the many lost phids' worth of gems but the invasion of my territory. This was a flagrant act of trespassing. I would get my revenge. "Did you see who did this?"

Mmmm-mmmm.

"How were they dressed?"

I don't know.

I gave the insect a look. "You don't know anything about their clothes?"

I don't believe they were dressed. That was what I needed.

"Rott," I knelt to collect the worm. "We're going to Queen Chidsey."

Right now?

"Yes, right now," I said, taking flight.

The dragonfly sang with admiration. You fly too! I didn't think you were the right one!

Chidsey's enclave was largely rebuilt. There remained minimal evidence of my previous visit. I remedied that with fresh flames and went directly to the queen's chambers. Her guards were not given orders to stand down this time. I dealt with them accordinging. Chidsey watched me with an unimpressed expression as the smoke drifted off my hands then disappeared like it was never there. She held a colorful bowl of eggs in her lap. "Lordavis."

"If you would like me to murder every member of your household, it can be arranged."

"Could you?" she taunted. Her spirits were high. "I would appreciate it."

I darted forward until we were face to face. "I told you once already that my kingdom is off limits to you. Stay out."

"And I told you," Chidsey said sweetly, "that you are wasting all that space. Space that's perfect for someone like me to move in. You might say it's ideal. Made for me."

"The next time I have to talk to you," I warned. "I will kill you."

"You won't," she mocked. "You can't." She picked up an egg and examined it as though she had never seen one before. "We missed you at my birthday. Gallivur came."

"Yes," I said. "I heard from Gallivur. Gallivur erroneously believed we had formed an alliance."

"I wonder where Gallivur heard that?" Chidsey tossed the egg my way. "Here, as an apology. All yours."

I fed it to Rott.

"That was a gift," the queen pouted. "I wanted you to have it."

"Stay out of my kingdom."

She threw another egg, aiming for my shoulder and Rott. He was happy to oblige. "He has a real taste for those." The bowl was offered. "Here, wormy-wormy!" I set a hand to Rott to keep him in place. "Who's a good wormy? Eggs for good wormys!"

"Stop."

"Stop what?" she asked. "Demeaning your precious pet or preparing your kingdom-- our kingdom-- for my inevitable arrival?"

"If you step foot in my kingdom, the worms will tear you apart." I pointed firmly. "That's a promise."

"Good chat," said Chidsey, looking away in overdone disregard. "Bye bye."

"You infuriating--!" I didn't complete the thought. Chidsey didn't deserve it. I stalked from the room.

When I was nearly out of range, she called, "Hey, Lordavis!" I stopped, turning to regard her. "Your gem-things, the ones that tell you when people are sneaking around your place-- is there a magic word or something? Trying to get an estimate on their market value."

I lingered until every structure save for the one Chidsey herself occupied was reduced to charcoal. It was early evening when I returned to the palace. Painyll was no longer splayed across his cushions. He rushed to greet me. "My liege! Your departure was the inspiration I sought! I have penned an epic song of abandonment and I would be honored if you would be the first to read it!"

"Leave me alone or I will throw you out of this tower," I growled.

Painyll sputtered. "That wouldn't do..." He weighed the full meaning of my threat. "Oh, yes, well, that's completely understandable and justified. You must be in the right disposition to appreciate art. Fresh in the day, when weariness hasn't overtaken your senses. I will save it for you, my liege." He added, while slinking away with his guards, "I already shared with the Technologist anyhow."

I sank into my throne and massaged my head.

My liege, said Rott. Should we set up more beacons?

"Yes," I mumbled. "Yes, do that. Someone handle that." I sighed. "They'll just be stolen again, but at least we can slow down the advance."

Nolwud came along shortly, uninvited and unwanted. I looked to the inventor then back to the falling night sky. "My liege, you went out?"

"I didn't send for you," I said.

"I was looking for you earlier. Painyll said you'd gone for a walk."

"I did," I said flatly. "There you have it."

"You're not in the habit of taking walks."

"And you're not in the habit of maintaining perfect health," I countered. "If you'd like assistance returning to the status quo, I would be happy to help."

My liege! Rott slid from my side to Nolwud in defense. It did not improve my sour mood.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

The Technologist knelt to pat the worm. "You were on a walk for half the day? Where did you go?"

"Where is my plane shifter?" I asked.

"In the process of being built."

"Then yes," I said. "I was on a walk for half the day."

"Okay." Nolwud rose. "I have an outlandish idea. Why don't you make use of your council? You know the purpose of a council, don't you?"

"I don't have a council," I said. "I have two deluded individuals who imagine they have gained some semblance of power and instead will provide me with what I want before they go the way of Nova."

"Or," said Nolwud, "You could make use of your council."

"I don't have a council," I reiterated. "I have two idiots with no redeeming qualities."

"I can get Painyll."

"I wish you wouldn't, as I've sent him away on punishment of death."

Nolwud sighed. "Is there anything we should be aware of tangentially?"

I shrugged flippantly. "No."

"I really wish I could talk to the worms," Nolwud announced, shuffling out in defeat.

"If you try," I hollered after, "You're back in the dungeon!"

I stewed silently for an extended period. The stars came out and the moon rose. After sitting in the dark for what felt ages, Rott inquired, My liege, what are we going to do?

"We can't kill Queen Chidsey." I accepted the reality of the situation. I didn't like it.

Would you feel better if we tried to enslave someone? If we lured Gallivur out and you could try to kill--

"I have specific plans in mind for Gallivur and Fourmikari," I said. "An entity the likes of which is unknown to this world."

What entity? Rott had no imagination.

"I'll know it when I see it." I clacked my jaw. "But first, I need a plane shifter so I can travel to another realm and take stock of their bestiaries."

You could kill Gaillivur without the plane shifter. If you did that, Queen Chidsey might be intimidated.

"Rott," I exasperated. "I've told you, that's not how it works. There's a very delicate dance to this. Let me handle Gallivur my way."

You could ask the inventor to help you. Rott suggested. I am surprised it wasn't proposed earlier. It is the sort of thing I would have expected.

I kept Rott ignorant and I scoffed audibly. "What would I ask? Tell me that."

The inventor could build you something to keep them from stealing your beacons.

"Such as?" I derided. "An unseen device that delivers an electric shock and--" Wait. "...would corral people where worms could get them." I had heard it before. The idea wasn't mine. Rott considered it my highest achievement.

Exactly like that, my liege! That's exactly what we need! Do you imagine the inventor could make such a thing?

I found Nolwud wide awake and sipping wine from a mug in the enchanting studio. Smug and superior, the Technologist put forth, "Change your mind about relying on your council?"

"No, shut up." I placed my hands on my hips. "I need traps."

"Are you hunting?" Nolwud inquired waggishly. "Should I design them to catch small prey?"

"I want electricity, and I want it painfully strong, and I don't want anyone to see it coming." I stomped my foot, adding, "And I want it now."

"How many?" The Technologist set the mug down and moved to a cabinet.

"I want my entire kingdom covered."

"The whole kingdom." Nolwud tapped the cabinet frame with a finger. "Your whole kingdom is a massive undertaking."

"Make it happen," I snapped. "That's why I keep you around."

"One condition," Nolwud withdrew a tool and made no further effort.

"What?"

"I want you to tell me--"

"No," I said, cutting it before it began.

"I want you to tell us--"

"Again, no."

"...tomorrow, when you call your first meeting of your council."

Preposterous. "I'm not calling a council meeting tomorrow."

"First thing," said Nolwud. "At sunrise. To address the matter of why the Kingdom of Ever-Worms needs to be outfitted with electronic security devices."

"Build me what I tell you to build," I demanded, "or go back to the dungeon!"

"If you send me to the dungeon," said Nolwud, "I promise you'll never get your security devices. Or the plane shifter."

"This is unrelated to the plane shifter!"

Nolwud's hands folded. "Good night, my liege. Whether or not I uphold my end of the bargain is contingent on you upholding yours."

It was a miserable morning. I slouched upon the throne, gazing down at my Technologist and Dramatist who both stood at the base of the throne platform. Nolwud was eager and self-satisfied; Painyll was groggy and unclear as to the reason for this farce. "I don't understand how this involves me."

"You are part of the council," explained Nolwud. "We make decisions together."

"Is that right?" Painyll was not convinced. "I'm going to 'council' from my cushions, if it's the same to you both." He started to meander.

"It's better if we stay together," said Nolwud.

"You're welcome to join me on the cushions."

Nolwud's heels clicked. "It's more respectful to Lordavis if we stand before the throne."

"This is a wonderful idea you've had," I said flatly. Painyll returned with a single cushion which he threw upon the floor before throwing himself upon it. "Oh, sure. That works too."

Nolwud attempted to maintain order. "My liege, you had something you wanted to say?"

"Yes," I stated firmly. "Build me enough electric shock defenses to cover the kingdom."

Nolwud shook a finger. "Why, my liege? What makes you think the Kingdom of Ever-Worms would benefit from that?"

"Because I've told you to do it," I said.

"Will I be shocked if I go past them?" inquired Painyll. "That would make traipsing uncomfortable. I don't like to be uncomfortable when I traipse."

"When do you go out?" I asked. "You came here crying 'sanctuary' because of the things out there that want to get you."

"If it's nice out," insisted Painyll, "I would like to have the option to traipse."

"My liege, it's not much to ask," Nolwud insisted on the border of whining. "Tell us what happened yesterday."

"Did something happen yesterday?" asked Painyll. "I wasn't aware."

In the interest of moving things along, I capitulated. "Beacons are being stolen from the north of the kingdom."

"That's why you went out for a walk," confirmed Nolwud with a nod.

"No, I went for a walk because I was sick of being in here with him and a dragonfly alerted me to the robbery."

"And what a fortuitous thing it was indeed!" Painyll decreed. "I was able to write the most exquisite poem. You read it, didn't you, Technologist Nolwud? My liege, I apologize. In my stupor this morning, I forgot to bring it. I can go collect it if you would allow me a moment."

"Hang on," Nolwud said to either Painyll or myself. It wasn't important. "A dragonfly told you?" Then, "You can speak to dragonflies too?"

"I can speak to any being capable of rational thought," I said.

"Fascinating," gaped the Technologist. "It's not confined to the worms."

"Oh, to be able to speak with the dragonflies!" Painyll cried. "I feel inspiration for a new poem swelling inside me!"

"Do you have any idea who's been taking the beacons?" Nolwud inquired.

"Uh," I hesitated. "Yes. Queen Chidsey."

"I'm not familiar with that name," Nolwud confessed. "But not being a local, that's hardly-"

"A queen?!" Painyll erupted with emotion, flinging himself from his cushion and rushing to his guards. "Say it isn't so, my liege! You are at odds with a queen?"

I barked, "Sit down, you melodramatic clown! She has no power and she's no threat to you!"

"She's stealing your beacons," said Nolwud.

"Her kin are stealing my beacons. She sits in her chambers and laughs."

Nolwud was prudent. "Are there any ramifications likely to arise from taking action against her?"

"She holds no titles and is no vassal, if that's your meaning," I said. "She and her bandit brood have overstayed their welcome in their current home. She intends to make my kingdom her next hideout."

"But still a queen," said Nolwud. "Albeit with no prestige." A nod. "That seems solid grounds to me. I'll begin construction on your defenses immediately, my liege."

"Solid grounds or not," I quipped. "If I tell you to build something, you build it."

"My liege." Nolwud bowed, dropping to one knee. "If you would dismiss the meeting, I will get directly to work."

"I have to dismiss it?" This process was asinine. Councils were asinine. "Yes, yes. Go. Dismissed."

Rott waited until the others had exited to emerge from behind my seat and slither into my lap. Council meetings are interesting things, my liege.

"You thought that was interesting? I thought the opposite."

The worm wriggled. It feels proper for you to have a council. Legitimate. I am quite curious about councils, my liege.

I knew what was to come yet asked, "What do you want, Rott?"

My liege, may I have a title too?