Painyll careened into the throne room, naked and sopping wet. His guards struggled to keep up with him. One fell on the way in, tripping over the frame, as both rushed the doorway together. I cackled loudly as the poet cried, "My liege! There are worms in the bath!"

I clapped my hands with glee and continued to laugh. Amazing.

"I was soaking in cool waters when suddenly,..." Painyll continued, placing a hand over his mouth. He held up a finger. "A moment, my liege. I need a moment. I don't know if I can do this."

What is funny, my liege? Rott inquired.

"This waste of space has encountered some worms," I replied facetiously. "How strange!"

Painyll recomposed himself. "I was soaking, when, around my legs, I felt..." He was overcome again. I elbowed the worm at my side.

"This is great," I chortled.

My liege, if you dislike him that much, why don't you kill him?

"You're the one interested in clowns," I said. I presented the agitated Dramatist. "Here is one."

"...there was, around my feet, a number of..." Painyll threw his hands up again. "I cannot say it! My liege, there must be a way to keep the worms out! I find them everywhere I go! I daresay their numbers are increasing!"

"What?" I apted flatly. "Increasing? No. You think someone is plaguing you with worms?"

"Who would do such a thing?" Painyll quivered. I cackled anew. He at last took stock of his nudity and wrapped his arms in a slight show of modesty. "My liege, if you could arrange a solution, I would be grateful. I think I shall go mad if I have to gaze upon them much longer!"

"Is that a guarantee?" I purred.

"What's going on here?" Nolwud called, poking a head in. One look at the Dramatist and a frown formed. "Perhaps I don't want to know."

"There are worms in the bath," sniffled Painyll.

"Fancy that," I beamed.

"This is fun for you, is it?" Nolwud asked dryly.

"Shouldn't you be building my plane shifter?" I wouldn't give the Technologist a chance to spoil the mood. I was entertained.

"You've tasked me with covering your kingdom, your entire kingdom, with electronic defenses. To say I will be busy with that for some time would be an understatement."

"Technologist Nolwud," Painyll placed a hand upon the inventor's shoulder with an audible squelch. Even Rott had a laugh. "You must help me."

"Please don't touch me," Nolwud said, making a face and stepping aside.

"I beg you," Painyll entreated. "You must construct a filter, or perhaps a repellant apparatus of some sort. This palace is crawling with worms."

"Not to the extent of the rest of the kingdom." Nolwud gave me a look. I shrugged.

"Technologist Nolwud, come with me." Painyll reached out again. "I won't go back in the bath alone."

"No," said Nolwud.

"I must clean myself," insisted the poet. "But I can't! I won't! I must have you with me!"

"I decline," said Nolwud. The distance between them increased.

Painyll turned his attention to me. "My liege--"

"Over my dead body," I stated.

Dejected, Painyll trudged away, calling to the guards to join him. "We'll try our best to manage on our own but I fear we may not make it."

It wasn't until Painyll was out of sight that Nolwud remarked, "You ought to let others know about him."

"And how would I do that?" I scoffed. "Send out a royal missive?"

"Yes," said Nolwud. "That's exactly how."

I dismissed the notion. "That's too much effort."

"I've taken the liberty of drafting one." Nolwud produced a small sphere, much like the blue marbles from before. An image not unlike my beacons flickered into existence. Nolwud read the words aloud. "The Kingdom of Ever-Worms has an announcement concerning an addition to our court."

"Stopping you there," I interrupted. "'Our court'? Neither of those words belong in that."

"I suspected you would take offense," said Nolwud. "Which brings me to another point I wanted to make. I was going to save it until the end. I want to be able to advertise my title."

"You've come a long way," I scowled. "Where is the one crying 'I have a marvellous discovery if only you would be my patron'? What happened there?"

"My liege, you are a terrible ruler," The Technologist declared bluntly. "Were I not to stand up to you, I would still be sitting in the dungeon."

"Yes," I agreed. What a thought!

"You, meanwhile, would be carrying on murdering and tormenting, and you would have missed this invaluable opportunity."

"Killing Painyll would have worked in its own way," I said.

"Riches are only worth anything when you have them," chastised Nolwud. "You can't run around killing everyone. It's not doable."

"Yes, I can," I said. "I've always done it."

"Let's discuss kingdom finances." Nolwud slid a finger across the projection. The words were replaced by a different collection of symbols. "I haven't been able to locate your treasury. Is there one?"

"That's not one of your duties. When are you finding the time to do this?"

Nolwud continued, "You don't have any revenue coming in. I can't imagine you could hire mercenaries if you were to go to war because, let's be honest, you definitely can't fund an army."

I gestured furiously at the southern window. "I have an army of worms!"

"Yes, and everyone knows it. They know exactly what you have and what your capabilities are. They send in couple of well-seasoned battle mages to take their commander out and that army is a lot less effective." An added barb, "If your heart doesn't give out first."

"My heart is fine," I snapped.

My liege, quivered Rott. Why does the inventor know about your heart? Were you worried?

"My heart is fine," I reiterated for Rott's benefit. "I am in perfect health." The worm pressed his head against my chest and closed his eyes.

It sounds louder, he observed. The scratching.

"What's Rott doing?" asked Nolwud, perplexed by the annelid.

I put my arms around the worm and feigned affection. "I can't help it if I'm adored."

"If you want to live long enough to see your plans for world domination come to fruition, you're going to have to start getting your act together."

"That's another thing," I remarked, releasing the worm and pointing firmly. "Not only are you not the frightened wanderer you were when we first met, you also can't decide where you stand on your ethics. Are you an upstanding citizen or were you acting the part?"

"My liege," said Nolwud, huffing. "I disagree with your principles completely. I don't think it prudent to kill, or to destroy, or to act as you do. That being said, you've made it this far without incident. There is a merit to being feared, certainly. However, you are not the biggest strider in the pond. Someone else will come along and you are not prepared."

"Stabbing you has caused you to take a deep interest in the wellbeing of my kingdom?"

"Well, now, of course," Nolwud smirked. "I have a title. I have a chance to complete my plane shifter through the assistance of your magic. Without you, neither of those are possible." Then, "Given that this is now my home, I think it's best to look after it."

"Your home," I gagged. "Spare me. What's wrong with your old home? Why did you leave your homeland?"

Nolwud frowned. "A difference in doctrine. They value status over all else. Science or the pursuit thereof is considered a distraction from social climbing."

"You remarked your former vassals would envy your title." I said. "You wanted a title specifically to boast."

"Well," admitted Nolwud sheepishly, "I am still a product of my upbringing."

"You say you seek a place more science oriented," I said tapping my jaw. "But instead you busy yourself with everything but. None of this seems befitting a 'Technologist'."

"My liege, I am very involved in my science. Yet I see the flaws in your government and I can't help but want to fix them."

"What flaws?" I governed just fine.

"That there isn't a government," said Nolwud. "It's anarchy. It's you and the worms."

"It's worked fine."

"We've digressed. Let's get back on topic. You're in need of money and Painyll is the means to secure it."

"Ugh," I tipped my head back. "Fine. You can send your announcement."

The original image returned. "Would you like to hear the rest of what I've written?"

"No," I said. "I don't care."

Nolwud sighed, crestfallen at being turned down. "Trust me on this. It'll work out in our favor. You don't always have to rely on murder."

"Eh."

Annoyed. "You don't murder Gallivur."

"I'm going to," I insisted. It was rude to deride my relationship with the champion. "It's a matter of the right circumstances. Gallivur deserves something more. Something meaningful."

"Uh-huh." The Technologist was unimpressed. "Short of Gallivur, you kill whoever wanders by?"

I nodded. "Naturally."

"It's a fortunate thing Gallivur managed to get to that drunk before you did. Inebriated trespassing is hardly a crime worthy of death." The Technologist spun and headed for the doors. "Not that I think any trespassing should equate to knee-jerk shanking."

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

I peered at Rott. "Yes," I said. "It's a shame I didn't get to have any fun. Curse Gallivur! Curse the timely rescue! If only I had gotten to that tippler in time!"

Rott watched Nolwud's exit with mixed emotion. The inventor doesn't know?

"The inventor will learn," I said. "When the rumores swirl. Surely word will make it out this way eventually." I certainly hoped it would. I was eagerly awaiting the latest wave of outcry.

It hadn't been difficult to guess Gallivur's game. If the champion was keen to keep the mysterious trespasser alive and unknown, I assumed it was on the orders of the Delvers. As the masters of intrigue in Fourmikari, they were the final authority in that which was clandestine. Once they got their claws into a target, they did not let go until the full sum of secrets was revealed.

My intuition proved correct. I found the hapless individual deep within a Delver nest the very night after Gallivur absconded. Strapped to a table and looking every bit the part of a wretch who had undergone the gambit of punishment, I was not surprised to be greeted with contempt. "You've come to try again? Good luck."

"Who, me?" I said innocently. "I'm not here to ask you anything." I yanked the sack from the prisoner's skull to behold the extent of mangled visage. "I've come for my own reasons."

"Lordavis," came the reply with recognition. I would have cheered but the fool blathered on. "I might have known you'd be with them."

"I've nothing to do with the Delvers."

My liege, Rott cautioned from my shoulders. This should be quick. Do what you came for and let's go.

"Curious minds want to know," I said, placing my hands upon my waist. "Why were you coming to see me?"

"To kill you," said the prisoner.

"I found your blade." I withdrew the weapon and tossed it aside. It landed on the floor with a clatter. Rott winced at the noise, worried it would draw attention. "Enchanted, I see." The worms had performed a thorough sweep. Gallivur's speedy departure didn't give the champion a chance to clean up. It wasn't hard to locate the dagger. "I think you meant to do more than kill." I set a hand to the failed assassin's throat. "Can't you wait patiently like everyone else?"

The prisoner said nothing.

"The Delvers haven't broken you?" I mused aloud.

That earned a laugh. "I'm not so weak. I'll never talk."

"No, probably not," I allowed. "I don't have the time or the inclination to draw the finer details out." I stepped away, pulling a second object from my belt. "Do you know what this is?"

"No."

"The means of your destruction," I said. "Whatever your aim, it's inconsequential. I make a habit of eliminating others." Then, "Have you ever heard of a 'laser scepter'?"

My liege, exasperated Rott, stop talking and do it. You don't always have to explain everything.

I did. I made use of the scepter for the first time in the manner for which it was intended. When I was done, I carved my name into the chamber wall. There would be no question who was responsible for the act of retribution.

I ruminated as Nolwud withdrew. What would the Technologist say about my actions the previous evening? That I'd behaved without consideration? That murder was unnecessary? The Delvers would have gotten what they wanted. Perhaps it would have been to my benefit to determine who sent the assassin. As I saw it, there was nothing wrong with thwarting Forumikari's inquisition.

Now I could sincerely say Gallivur had lost.

"Well," I said to Rott once we were alone. "I've yet to celebrate. I think some wine will do." I leaned over the throne arm and called, "Bring me my wine!"

Rott fussed quietly in my lap. As I bent to collect my goblet, he shoved his head against me once more. My liege, it's louder.

"No, it isn't," I said.

My liege? A nearby servant lifted her head in concerned curiosity.

"Ignore Rott," I said. The worm disregarded. She followed Rott's example.

I hear it, my liege.

My liege? A second servant took note of his ilk. I shoved the pair of worms off. Are you ill?

"I'm perfectly fine," I asserted. "If I were distressed about my health, I would see a doctor or a healer. Obviously, I'm not distressed."

"When was the last time you saw a doctor?" Nolwud lingered in the doorway.

I clacked my jaw in frustration. "I thought you left."

"I did," the inventor stooped to collect the bottle of wine from a servant. "But then I saw this guy go by."

"This is a private party."

Nolwud's head tilted. "What are you celebrating?"

I draped across the throne. "My good health."

Nolwud returned the bottle to the worm. "Why do the worms keep nuzzling you?"

"They love me," I said.

We do love you, my liege, a servant reassured.

There was motion from the windows. I narrowly missed being hit by an incoming fireball. From outside, a figure with rose, wings flapping furiously on her back. She wore fine garments and stood tall. She called forth a new round of flame and I raised a shielding spell while Nolwud looked on dumbfounded.

"We're under attack!" I shouted as servants launched themselves out the window at the assailant. Most failed to hit their target and plummeted to their doom.

My liege! cried Rott, absolutely terrified for his safety. He cowered behind me.

"I got this." Nolwud withdrew a handful of marbles and lobbed them forward with purpose. They ricocheted off the shielding spell. I glared. Nolwud considered. "...do you think you could drop that for a moment?"

Another fireball came.

"No," I said. Rott had crawled to the corridor. I wouldn't see him for some time.

"I can get her if you give me a chance," insisted Nolwud, frantically collecting the fallen spheres. "I promise. These work well."

"Sure," I said. I opened a portal and abandoned the inventor to the throne room.

"What? I--Hey!"

The magus was not fooled. She blasted again, searing Nolwud to keep the inventor from taking action then rose higher to meet me in the sky. Inspecting me with a cursory glance, she said, "You fly without wings. What a waste of the magic you'll need against me."

"Will I?" I said. A bolt of lightning struck downward. It branched upon reaching the magus, an invisible shielding spell of her own. "I'll have to get serious."

"I expected more from the ruler of Nova," she said. "You are the one in charge, aren't you?"

"The Kingdom of Ever-Worms," I corrected. "Nova is no more."

She readied a fireball. "It's Nova that provides sanctuary."

I pondered. "You're not with the other one, are you?" Then, "You've come for Painyll."

"I have pursued him this far," said the magus, throwing the flames. "He's a rarity. I will get what I want."

I dropped to avoid the blast. "And I'd as soon give him to you."

"Don't be ridiculous," she laughed, flying at me. I dipped lower still to offset a collision. "Don't mock me!"

"I have no use for him."

She examined my form more thoroughly. "It's true. There's nothing to be gained. I can make great use of him."

"I would invite you to take him," I said, giving a sharp yell. "Were it not that you're trespassing."

"It won't matter when you're dead," she taunted. She was certain. She was wrong.

"You're dead," I responded as a colossal worm exploded from the cliff face and swallowed the offending magician whole. It was a simple affair over as quickly as it had begun. From up in the throne room, I heard an incredulous "What?!" I hovered nearby as the worm digested, waiting until I was satisfied the magus was gone.

"She wasn't here for me," I announced as I returned to the palace.

Nolwud made a face. "That's it? She's dead, it's done?"

"Yes?" What did the inventor expect? The threat was neutralized. "I told you. It wasn't about me."

"What did she want? Did you ask?" Nolwud was relentless. I was grateful I hadn't mentioned the assassin. That might have triggered a second council meeting. Oh, the horror."She tried to kill you."

"To get to Painyll, who you insisted was ever so important to take on. I recall saying that doing so would get us raided." I gestured to the outside. "Case and point."

"The sooner you make Painyll's presence here public, the less likely things like this will happen," nagged Nolwud.

"No," I said. "They'll simply do it under officious pretenses."

"Which is better than popping up and throwing fire." Then, "We could have kept her in the dungeon and learned more. That's why dungeons exist."

"The dungeon exists for you," I clarified.

"You have to know your enemies," Nolwud lectured. "If you dispose of them before you know anything, it leaves you in a bind."

"You're down an enemy," I said. "That counts for something.

"If you want to be flippant, fine. But you're going have repercussions for this," said Nolwud. "Yeah, I saw. You've--"

"I know what I did," I said. "She travelled great lengths for Painyll. That makes a world of difference."

"Oh?" Nolwud was dubious and looking to argue. This conversation was over. "They do things differently here?"

"Yes," I replied. "As a matter of fact, they do." I returned to the throne to await Rott. "You should brush up on the local practices if you're going to be sticking around."