Chapter Seven: Help
Yue was crying again. She couldn't help it. It had now been two days since Diamond’s death. The tournament had not continued. The Wolf had delayed it at least a week, thankfully. Yue wouldn’t have participated if it had continued.
It was the middle of the night, and she couldn’t sleep. She didn’t want to either. If she slept, she would dream of Diamond, and her last word.
Help.
She wished she could have helped Diamond, but she couldn’t do anything.
Help.
Why did it still feel like her fault?
Help.
Yue cried, the word ringing in her ears.
Help.
She was haunted. She wished she could take Diamond’s place. Why did she have to go?
Help.
In the stories she’d heard, when someone was dying, they would comfort the other person. That didn’t happen here.
Tears spilling down her cheeks, she replayed her memories with Diamond. It wasn’t enough. Diamond wasn’t here. She was gone. Forever.
Help.
She sniffed, and a noise caught her ear. She stopped crying for a second, trying to hear the noise better. It sounded like sniffling. Like someone was trying not to let anyone hear them cry. Yue thought she knew who it was. She got up from her bed, and walked into the bathroom. There were two stalls there, and the crying was coming from one of them. She opened the door.
Alyx was on the ground, makeup running down her face, tear-stained face looking heart-broken. She wasn’t wearing much. Yue had heard her ripping some of her clothes in rage and sadness yesterday. She looked at Yue sadly. Yue hugged her. Alyx didn’t hug her back. She just cried. Yue held her as the night passed, both sobbing into each other, each letting the other comfort them with their tears.
There was no real comfort, though. Yue thought there never would be. Not without Diamond. Not with that word ringing in her head.
Help.
After what was probably an hour, Alyx spoke.
“Why…Yue?” she sniffled, choking on her words while crying. “Why..d-d-did Diamond h-have to go?”
“I don’t know, Alyx.”
“I want to die, Yue. I can’t take this. It’s not fair!”
Yue didn’t know what to say to that. Sometimes she felt the same, but she wouldn’t ever do anything about it. Alyx seemed like the type of person to do it, though.
“Why didn’t you protect her, Yue?” Alyx said accusingly.
Yue bowed her head, tears still flowing. “I couldn’t do anything. I ask myself the same question every minute.
Alyx didn’t speak after that, so Yue fell silent too. Eventually, Alyx hugged Yue back, and they stood there, a picture of grief. Two silhouettes holding each other as the night passed. Two people looking at themselves as failures. Two humans looking for comfort. Not finding it.
The night passed slowly. It felt like every day was a thousand years without Diamond. What had she done to deserve it? She’d never been anything but nice. She always helped others. Yue remembered how mad she was when they decided to send Xander to join Cult.
I would do anything to bring Yue back, she thought, even if she’s mad at me forever and never talks to me again. She changed to a prayer. Please bring her back. I’ll do anything. I’ll sacrifice myself to bring her back. Please. Anything.
Eventually, even Yue drifted slowly into sleep, tears tiring her out, holding onto Alyx, as they both floated in the pit of sadness, of depression, of helplessness.
And so the day came, Yue and Alyx waking up, both still crying, hugging each other, sharing the horrible experience, wishing they were someone else.
— — —
Breakfast was the most depressing part of Yue’s day. Except for the rest of the day. She ate slowly, Alyx and Neena eating with her, none of them talking, food soaked in tears. It was a sunny day, no clouds in the sky. The Vanguard was in mourning, but most of the soldiers wouldn’t have known Diamond that well, so even if they were sad, they could still enjoy the day. Not Yue and her group. She didn’t know when she would smile again. Would she smile again?
Neena let out a whimper, and Yue put her arm around her. Neena had been hit hard by Diamond’s death and hadn’t talked since then. She always looked tired. Her usually active self had become sad and moody. Yue couldn’t blame her. It was a sad time for all of them.
Eventually, Xander came over and started eating next to them. Xander hadn’t cried at all, at least not that Yue saw, but he was grieving in his own way. He was ignoring everyone, and refused to talk to anyone. While Neena didn’t talk because she was shocked, Xander didn’t talk because he was angry and sad at the same time. Xander wouldn’t tell them why he seemed angry. He glared at them sadly, black hair a mess.
The Wolf was walking by and saw them. He grimaced and shuffled over to them.
“I’m sorry about Diamond,” he told them. He said it every time he saw them. He felt guilty about it. Yue felt bad for him, but felt worse for herself. She knew Diamond better than he did. The Wolf wasn’t done speaking. “Today is her funeral, as you know. The service starts at noon. I know it’s hard, but you should be there. See you then.” He left, without hearing them say anything. Not that they would’ve said anything.
Some of the Vanguard’s soldiers came into the refectory laughing, and paused when they saw Yue and her group. Then their faces became somber, and they looked pityingly at her group. Yue hated the pity. She didn’t want the pity. She wanted Diamond back.
Help.
She closed her eyes and rested her head on the table. She heard the soldiers who were laughing before leave, whispering in hushed voices. They would probably be laughing soon, just like everyone else. Except for Yue. She could never laugh.
After they finished eating, Neena and Alyx returned to the barracks, not even saying goodbye. Yue left Xander and walked over to where the Vanguard was training. She wasn’t going to train. She was only going to watch. She couldn’t train now. She only watched it to take her mind off of Diamond. Did it work? No. But Yue did it anyway.
She watched as two soldiers— she didn’t bother to remember their names—sparred until one of them surrendered. It was a lackluster performance from both of them. Not that she noticed. She was lost in her self-degradation and helplessness when someone came up behind her.
“Hey, I’m Jos.”
Yue looked over. “Yue.”
“I know. You were Diamond’s friend, right?
“I still am.”
“Right, sorry. Look, I came here to offer my condolences. I didn’t know Diamond too well, but I understand how hard it must be.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I do. My best friend died two years ago.”
Yue looked over at him. “How long did you know him?”
“Her. I’d known her since I was a kid. She got sick with something the doctors couldn’t identify.” Jos’ face contorted. “She died telling me it was okay.” He sat down next to me. “I know how it feels. It hurts. I felt the same thing too. I know I don’t know you very well, but if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.”
“Thanks, but I don’t need it.”
“I understand,” Jos answered. “Oh, and one more thing. My dad is a private investigator, and he taught me some of his skills. I heard that Diamond had been threatened before. You want me to look into it?”
Yue hadn’t even thought about that. “If you figure out who did it, I’ll be eternally grateful.”
Jos nodded. “I will, don’t worry.” He left and Yue returned to staring vacantly at the sparring matches.
She didn’t even notice as Poli and Artemis walked over.
“Hey,” Poli said tentatively, “How are you holding up?”
Yue admitted the truth. “Horribly.”
Poli nodded sadly. “I can’t believe Diamond’s gone. We were laughing just two days ago. It doesn’t feel real.” Poli was probably the one who had taken it the best so far. She was sad, but she was holding herself up well. Artemis was a little sadder, but rarely shedded tears. There were a couple on his face now.
Poli continued talking. “Now more than ever, it's more important that Xander goes to the Cult. They targeted Diamond, and they’ll come after us if we don’t do something about it.”
“Can you stop with your theories for once, Poli?” Yue asked, aggravated.
“I might be leaving soon. If anything else happens, I’m quitting the Vanguard.”
Yue nodded..
“What,” Poli exclaimed, “No retort. No ‘Don’t Go, Poli?’”
Yue shook her head. “I don’t want to argue.”
“You need to cheer up a little, Yue.”
Yue broke. She stood up and faced Poli, rage on her face.
“Cheer up? CHEER UP?” Yue yelled. “OUR FRIEND JUST DIED! DO YOU HAVE NO SYMPATHY? DIAMOND WAS KILLED! MURDERED! AND YOU ARE TELLING ME TO CHEER UP!” Yue started to cry, tears once again marring her normally pretty face. “Just leave me alone, please.”
Poli nodded and left, Artemis shamefully leaving without saying anything. People looked over at Yue, some surprised, others sympathetic. Yue glared at all of them, and left for her room. She couldn’t deal with it now. She had to sleep. It was her only comfort now, even if the nightmares came back. She arrived at her barracks, the Fourth Female Barracks, and slid into her sheets, and fell asleep, exhaustion overtaking her.
— — —
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Yue was sparring with Diamond. Diamond was losing, obviously. Yue was better. But just as Yue was about to disarm her, Diamond’s eyes turned completely black, and black oil started to leak from them. Then Diamond screamed.
“WHY DIDN’T YOU SAVE ME, YUE? YOU COULD'VE DONE SOMETHING. YOU LET ME DIE!”
“No,” Yue said weakly, “No, I couldn’t. I tried. I swear.”
“LIAR! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. EVERYONE BLAMES YOU! YOU DESERVE THE PAIN. YOU SHOULD BE DEAD!”
“I know,” Yue cried. “I know, okay? I know I should be dead.
“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND” Diamond yelled, and then rushed Yue. Yue ran away, terrified of Diamond.
Then the world disappeared. All that was left was a black void. Yue fell, Diamond above her, falling too. Diamond reached out, hands turning into claws scratching at Yue’s arms. Yue screamed. Blood gushed from her arms, too much for such a little scratch. She curled into a ball, still falling. Diamond grew into a giant’s size and grabbed her. Diamond smiled, and her teeth were filed into points. She squeezed Yue in her hand, and screamed at her once again.
“YOU MUST SUFFER HOW I SUFFERED!”
“No, please. I know I messed up. I know I let you die. I regret it every moment now, Diamond. I wanted to save you. I would’ve done anything.”
“THEN WHY DIDN’’T YOU DO ANYTHING?”
“I couldn’t. There was nothing I could do.”
Diamond screeched. “LIAR. YOU’RE A BAD FRIEND AND YOU KNOW IT. FRIENDS HELP EACH OTHER OUT. YOU DID NOTHING. YOU’RE WORTHLESS:”
“You’re right. I am. I should’ve saved you. But I didn’t. I failed. And now you’re dead, and the world is hopeless. I’m sorry. It’s my fault.”
Diamond’s face grew sad. “Yue, why did I die?”
“I don’t know, Diamond. I ask myself the same question. I can’t deal with it. I feel so guilty.”
“BECAUSE IT IS YOUR FAULT!” Diamond’s face grew evil, wickedly smiling as she opened her mouth as far as it could go. Her mouth was a void, and Yue saw death looking at it. Then Diamond dropped her in. Yue felt herself falling, and landed on Diamond’s tongue. She was forced to feel everything, as Diamond bit down, severing her arm. Yue screamed, and she saw her limb disappear. Diamond bit again, and again. Each time, Yue screamed as Diamond’s teeth impaled her over and over and over.
An eternal torment.
Yue woke up, screaming and crying. She looked around. No one was in the room. She sighed in relief. It was embarrassing enough to cry in front of anyone, but screaming was worse. She looked outside the window. It was still early afternoon.
She walked outside, yawning. She was still tired, and didn’t know what she would do for the rest of the day. She started to walk, lost in thought.
“Yue!”
She kept walking, not noticing that someone was calling her.
“YUE!”
She looked around. Someone was running towards her. Who was that? He looked familiar. Jos. That was his name.
“Yue, I have some news.”
“About what?” She answered gruffly.
“The investigation that you told me to do on the murderer.”
Yue nodded. “What’s new?”
“I examined the dagger on Diamond’s body,” Yue grimaced, but Jos didn’t notice and kept talking, “And it has a rare gem on it. Whoever they are, they’re really rich to own something like that.”
“That doesn’t seem like much.”
“Trust me, it is. That narrows the list down a lot.” Yue nodded and kept walking aimlessly. Jos cocked his head at her.
“Aren’t you going to Diamond’s funeral?”
“Oh, damn! I forgot.” Yue looked at the sky. She had twenty minutes to get to the green. “Are you going, Jos?”
“No, I need to finish the investigation. I think I’m close.”
“Suit yourself,” Yue said, and rushed off towards the green.
When she arrived, five minutes before time, she noticed something odd. She’d thought that Diamond’s friends and family outside of the Vanguard would be allowed to join the funeral, but she guessed since no non-soldier was allowed in the Vanguard grounds, they had not been allowed in. There would probably be a memorial for family members later, but for now, the funeral was all that would happen.
Alyx saw her arrive, and sadly waved her over. There were about one hundred of the Vanguard soldiers here, which was a surprising amount. The Wolf had brought a podium, and he coughed loudly to get everyone’s attention.
“Ahem, attention everyone. Welcome to the funeral for a respected member of the Vanguard. A friend to some, a sister to others, she will always be remembered. We will now have a moment of silence for Diamond Reinholt.” Everyone shut up respectfully. The only noise now was the sound of Alyx’s sobs, which cause Yue to tear up. She let her tears fall.
A minute passed. The soldiers were bowing their heads now, some whispering prayers, others crying quietly. Most of them didn’t know Diamond well, but it was still a shock to all of them.
Another minute passed. Alyx put her head on Yue’s shoulder, and Yue side-hugged her. It was a hard time for all of them, but it was worse for Alyx, and Yue knew it.
The final minute passed. The soldiers looked up, and Alyx wiped away her tears.
The Wolf spoke once more. “Rest in peace, Diamond Reinholt.”
“Rest in peace,” the Vanguard Warriors chorused.
Rest in peace, Diamond.
“Now, everyone who wants to may come up and speak for a moment or two about Diamond. Alyx, go ahead.” The Wolf spoke softly and somberly to Alyx, who walked up the stage, sniffling.
“Hi, I’m Alyx, and I’m Diamond’s sister. My sister was always there for me when I was a little kid. She always helped me when I fell. She never fought my battles, but taught me to fight them. Even though she was never super competitive, I got my competitive nature from her.” Alyx was now crying visibly. “I remember Diamond told me she would be with me to see me become a member of the Vanguard, and she kept her promise. She was the first to welcome me here. She was my best friend. You were a great sister, Diamond. I hope you find rest on the other side.” She touched Diamond’s coffin, which was right in front of her. She stayed like that for a time, silently whispering. Then she returned to her seat.
Aster walked up. Yue hadn’t seen her at all today, which was strange. The day after Diamond died, she had really relied on her friends to comfort her. She had probably slept in.
“I met Diamond one year ago, after I joined the Vanguard. I was friends with Yue, who was friends with her. I remember when I met her, she was talking to Alyx. Alyx was crying, and I figured out later that Diamond had saved her from a very dark place. That was my first impression with Diamond.
“The more I hung out with her, the more I realized that the first impressions I had of Diamond were exactly who she was. She was always there for her friends. If one of Diamond’s friends had an issue, she was generally the first person they went to talk to, because she was always there for them. That is the definition of a friend. Thank you, Diamond.” She walked back to the audience, composed yet sad.
Yue decided to go for it too. She walked up and started talking. “I met Diamond the day I came into the Vanguard. She challenged me to a duel the same day. I was a very confident girl then. I thought I could win anything. She humbled me. From then on, she became almost the ‘sage’ in my life. I disagreed with her sometimes, but I always took her words into account. Some of her friends know her as a nice person. Some know her as a helpful person. I know her as a wise person. She was a great friend, and I already miss her dearly. I’ll see you one day, Diamond.”
Yue walked back to Alyx’s side. The Wolf waited a moment. When nobody stepped up, he returned to the podium.
“May you rest in peace, Diamond Reinhart, and may your legacy live on. As a soldier. As a sister. As a friend.” He saluted, and the Vanguard followed suit. Yue shed a few tears.
Rest in peace, my friend.
— — —
Half an hour after the funeral. Yue had been wandering around with Alyx for a while, not really doing anything, lost in thought. Eventually she decided to return to her room. When she got back, she took off her shoes, and walked in.
She entered the bathroom and splashed her face. Dammit. Her face was red from all the crying. Ugh. She hated when that happened to her. It just made it so much more obvious that she’d been crying. Plus, her eyes were puffy. Go figure.
She walked over to her bead, and sat down, head in her hands. She stayed like that for a minute, then lay down. As she did, she felt a crunch where she put her leg. She looked over. There was a piece of paper on her bed.
She opened it, expecting a death threat. What followed got her heart racing.
Dear Yue,
I know who killed Diamond. Meet me in the forest.
Jos.
Yue calmed herself. Did Jos know or was it just wishful thinking on his part? Either way she had to check.
A knock came from the barracks. She walked to the door slowly and opened it. There was no one there. She looked down. There was a package there and all it said was Yue.
Apprehensive, she opened it. There was a hand there. A human hand covered in blood. Still fresh.
Yue gagged. There was writing inside the box too. Yue tried not to throw up as she moved the hand to read inside. See you in the forest.
Yue grew scared, but decided she would go for it anyway.
Here I come, forest. You better be ready!
— — —
The forest. One mile outside the Vanguard grounds, just outside Magefell. She noticed a trail leading in. She’d never entered. The forest had always looked spooky to her.
She found another box just outside the trail. This time there was a blood-soaked ear inside. She couldn’t stop it. She threw up.
There was more writing on the box. This time it said Follow the trail. See you there.
She headed in, feeling nauseous.
She followed the trail. The sun was almost setting, giving the forest a ghostly hue. The trees were dark and ominous, and it felt like the perfect place for a murderer to hide. She drew her sword and kept walking.
Eventually, there was a fork in the road. She didn’t know which path she should take. That is, until she saw the third box.
She gagged once more as she saw the leg inside and read the words as quickly as possible. You’re almost there. Hope you find me. She took the right path, and kept plodding along.
The trail ended abruptly. There was nothing else. Should she continue, or was this the end? She looked around. No one was here. What was going on?
She strode for a while, not finding anything or anybody. She guessed this was all a ruse.
Jos tricked me! That dumb bastard!
Then she thought of the body parts. Those were real. What were they about? And whose were they? She didn’t want to think about it now. It was getting late, and she should be getting back to the grounds. She could discuss this with her friends. Maybe get them thinking about something other than Diamond.
The thought of Diamond stung, and she tried not to tear up. She closed her eyes and followed the trail to return. Then she saw it
There was something right next to the trail, and it was covered in leaves. Yue knelt next to it, and started to wipe away the leaves. The first thing she saw was a mouth, stuck in a scream. She screamed, and backed away. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself. She had to confirm the thing over there was what she thought it was. She grabbed a stick, and started wiping away the leaves. She noticed they were stained with blood.
She finally uncovered the whole thing. It was a head, Jos’ head, to be precise. Yue vomited. His head was covered in blood, permanently stuck with a horrified stare. A search around the trail uncovered his torso, cut in several places.
Oh no! Jos is dead! Someone killed him! I have to tell someone!
She couldn’t believe it. The murderer had struck again. It wasn’t a one time thing. Someone was targeting them.
She found Jos’ other hand next to a tree. He was holding a scrap of paper. She read it, and her heart almost stopped-
If you read this, I am probably dead. Either that, or you stole this paper from me. If so, shame on you. I know who killed Diamond, and now the person will kill me. I know too much. Please tell my parents.
Anyway, if you’re reading this Yue, I’m sorry I wasn’t alive to tell you the truth. Anyway, the person….
The letter stopped there. The murderer had gotten to him before he finished. Yue lay down on the tree and mourned.
She mourned for her friends. Alyx had to deal with the death of a sister, and the rest with the death of a friend.
She mourned for herself. She didn’t know what she would do now. She wanted to give up and just sleep for the rest of her life. She was totally lost, and life had become too serious too quickly.
She mourned for Diamond. Her friend. Yue had relied on Diamond, and now she was gone.
And now she mourned for Jos. he died for something he hadn’t been involved in. He had just wanted to help someone in pain. And he paid for it. It wasn’t fair! She had thought she had made a friend, but he had died immediately.
She mourned.
She mourned throughout the night, until she had to return to the grounds.
There, she mourned again.
She mourned through the night. Even the next day had no escape.
She mourned.