We splished, we splashed, and soon enough the world's obligations swam back around. We had critical information to pass on about Brae’ach and the avatars, an upcoming meeting with one of the world’s superpowers, and urgent appointments to make with our barbers and cosmetologists.

However, first and foremost were a pair of family reunions. Delvers were generally presumed dead if they did not return from a Delve after a week or two, and it wouldn’t surprise any of us if we’d been declared legally deceased. The System announcement listing our names would have been akin to a resurrection for the Xor’Drels and the Ravvenblaqs, who were certainly eager to have their wayward children return to them.

In preparation of being separated for a few days, we needed to get our plans straightened out. Thus, I produced an ornate sheet of vellum, its borders intricately decorated with tiny flying octopuses, the material mana-woven to be waterproof, fireproof, tear-proof, UV resistant, and impact absorbent–the thing could probably take a 50 caliber bullet without a mark–and dyed a slight shade of rosé, with looping calligraphy in ocean blue ink that could be cleared away without a trace or moved around the page with a touch of mana.

It was The List.

Also, we were all still in the hot spring. What better place for a team meeting? Etja was even giving us a light serenade while she plucked at a stringed instrument with shimmering overtones (heretofore referred to as a “lute”, because it was close enough).

“At the top of The List, we have ‘Brae’ach Shit’,” I declared in my most haughty voice, rolling my Rs for effect.

“I will give what we know to my family,” said Varrin, his mighty arms spread wide around the edge of his near-boiling hot tub. “They will disseminate the information to Central and the other houses.”

“I’ll tell Mom and Dad,” said Xim. “They might want to get involved. If life on the First Layer is eradicated, it will impact the Third, no matter how separated we are.”

Nuralie popped up from under the water.

“I will inform the Zenithars,” she said, then sank back down until her head was halfway submerged, bubbles floating up from her nose and mouth.

“And we can inform the Littans at our meeting,” I added. “The Hiwardians will hopefully spread the news to Timagrin, Mittak, and Ayama.”

“I will make sure it happens,” said Varrin. “Our account will be subject to scrutiny, but I believe our accomplishments will bolster the believability of our claims.”

I nodded, satisfied with the plan.

“The second item on The List is ‘Meetings and shit with the Littans’,” I proclaimed, focusing on my diction when hitting the Ts in Littans.

“I will have a dossier created,” said Varrin. “Names, titles, personal biographies, temperaments, protocol, decorum. I suggest we all return ahead of the meeting to study it together.”

“Ugh,” said Xim. “What if I just agree not to speak?”

“You’re the scion of a major Third Layer tribe,” said Varrin. “I know you have diplomatic training.”

“Yes, but I don’t like it.”

“Etja should do the talking,” I suggested.

“Me?” Etja asked, pausing her performance. “Why me?”

“Perfect recall,” I answered. “And you have the highest Charisma.”

“You are also not affiliated with any nation,” said Varrin. “Your words are more likely to be taken at face value.”

“Um, okay,” she said. She tapped her chin with one finger and continued plucking her lute with two of her other hands.

“The next item on The List is ‘Training and shit’,” I announced, really putting some stank on Shit.

“If you keep going like that, this’ll take all day,” said Xim.

“Just trying to make it fun.”

“We should look for Dungeons,” said Nuralie, appearing above the water again.

“Agreed,” said Varrin. “Intrinsics are our bottleneck to advancement, not levels. If Dungeons grant bonuses to leveling intrinsics, they should be a priority.”

“If the world isn’t falling apart, I’m happy to hunt for them however much we want,” I said.

“The world can wait,” said Varrin. “We are level 12s. No matter how strong we are for our level, we are still weak compared to the higher echelons of power.”

“We probably couldn’t beat up a full level 26 gold,” said Xim. “And there are plenty of those.”

“I bet we could as a team!” said Etja.

“Someone would die,” said Varrin. “But… possibly.”

“Okay, so we go into secluded Dungeon hunting,” I said. “After which we will reemerge as hidden masters, capable of smiting all who show us disrespect.”

“Sounds good,” said Xim. “Next!”

“Next on The List is ‘Backdoor soul stuff’.”

“Kinky,” Xim quipped.

“Please explain,” said Varrin.

“Right. When my Traveler’s Amulet got upgraded, it gave Grotto access to all of my intrinsic skills.”

“Yes, you mentioned that before,” said Varrin.

“I want an avatar gift,” Xim said with a longful sigh.

“My connection with Grotto is at the level of the soul,” I continued. “For Fortune to modify that connection, he has to have some access to my soul, or at least the bridge between mine and Grotto’s. My concern is that he might be implanting spiritual traps or subtly guiding me in a certain direction.”

“He is certainly guiding you,” said Varrin. “If you do not want him to, you should dispose of the amulet and the ring.”

“But I likes them,” I said. “They’re my precious.” I held my ruby-ringed hand to my chest and clutched the amulet. The only garments I had on were my jewelry.

“We’ll watch for weird behavior,” said Xim. “It’s what we’ve been doing so far. What else can we do?”

“Go on a quest of self-discovery?” I suggested.

“Okay, yeah, I support that,” said Xim.

“You can find yourself while we hunt Dungeons,” Nuralie gurgled.

“Multi-tasking self-actualization,” I said. “Sounds like something I’d do.”

[I have a series of subprocesses monitoring our connection for irregularities,] Grotto thought to us. He was currently sharing the pond with the frogs. I had no idea if he enjoyed it, or if he was just trying to participate in the aquatics.

“How confident are you that you’d find something that way?” I asked.

He lifted a feeler and curled it to wring the water from his downy feathers onto Bertegog’s head. The frog closed its eyes and enjoyed the shower.

[Moderately confident.]

“We have faith in you!” said Etja, speeding up the tempo of her lute playing.

“Moving on to the next item,” I said. “‘Can Grotto open Closet?”

[With our improved connection, I believe so.]

“You can try to open the Checkpoints when everyone needs to leave,” I said. “And the portal when we go see the Littans.” I put a circle next to the item, letting me know to circle back to it. “Next is ‘W.T.F. the Dread Star?’”

“We should curate a list of questions,” said Varrin.

“I want to speak with Sam’lia before you abuse that power,” said Xim. “I can try out the communion tub!” She swam to the edge of the pool and climbed out, then went to the mushrooms to begin selecting her… ‘experience’. Varrin and I studiously avoided staring, but Nuralie did not, which I found interesting.

I marked the item with a ‘D’ for “pending divine guidance.”

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

“Next one down is the ‘Wand of Soulfuckery’.”

“Sam’lia again!” Xim said in her outside voice. I marked down another ‘D’.

“Better hearing protection for Explosion!”

“I’ll make something,” said Nuralie.

“Easy enough,” I said, placing a check. “Figure out a use for Abbandium.”

“Arrows,” Nuralie answered immediately. “It lowers Spiritual defense and can take any shape. Flat, triangular, barbed, bladed, long, square, rhomboid.” Pause. “It can be whatever arrowhead I need and will weaken the target to Spiritual attacks such as Night Strike.”

“It raises Divine defense, though,” I said. “And it affects the wielder.”

“Xim can choose a different target,” Nuralie replied. “I will not be affected by the material much since I can keep the arrows in my inventory until I need them.”

“I thought you wanted to be hands-off with the mystery eldritch stuff.”

“It is not in my hands if it is in the enemy’s liver.”

“That’s… a very specific body part.”

She shrugged.

“We have a lot of buffs to Bleeding.”

“If no one has any objections, that works for me,” I said. “I don’t want to touch the stuff.”

Nobody else made any argument to claim some of the Abbandium since nobody wanted to have their Spiritual defenses lowered, leading to an even worse time with mental attacks.

“Next item: ‘Can Grotto have revelations through the System?’”

Everyone looked at Grotto, who now had a frog sitting on his octopoid head. He waved his tentacles noncommittally.

[I do not know. The experts among us have not been available for proper discussion.]

“Wanna come into the god pot with me?” asked Xim, gesturing at the sensory deprivation chamber.

[The last time we interacted with the divine together, you spent the entire week muttering to vases and idols.]

“You’ll understand once you get some more experience,” Xim replied.

[Very well.] He gently removed his amphibious hat and floated to join the cleric, leaving disappointed ribbits in his wake. [However, I am not susceptible to psychedelic effects.]

I placed a circle and a ‘D’ next to that item.

“Next is ‘What’s up with Shog? Brood Lord? Brood King? Hidden Delver?’”

“Aw,” said Etja. “We should have asked while he was here.”

[C’thonic society–a term I use loosely–is built on a hierarchy of personal power. Leadership is earned through might, which is one of the few things any c’thon respects. As a Grade 18, Shog’tuatha is well into the Lord realm, and quickly approaching King.]

“When does King start?” I asked.

[It is not a well-defined boundary, but the weakest King in the System records I can access was Grade 24.]

“How does that impact us?” asked Varrin.

[The data on c’thons serving as allies to humanoid species is sparse, to say the least. If I were to speculate, I believe it would either result in Shog’tuatha taking permanent leave of the party to enjoy his new station, or continuing to take advantage of your meteoric growth to reach even higher status.]

“What’s after King?” I asked. “Emperor?”

Grotto thought for a moment, and we received a System notification.

The most recent information on the c’thonic social stratum indicates the existence of 5 c’thonic emperors. Each emperor controls between 1 and 3 of the 8 habitable worlds in the C’thon star system.

The emperors exist in a loose coalition with the stated purpose of interdimensional conquest. However, conflict between emperors is constant, which inhibits their capacity to wage organized war. Because of this, the species has been classified as a minor threat to ongoing System functionality. Any additional subjugated worlds are unknown.

This intelligence is derived from an interview with a Grade 47 C’thonic Emperor summoned by the Avatar of Tyranny 3 generations ago and requires updating. The Avatar of Tyranny is currently held within Delve 9998: The Cage and is unavailable for further inquiry.

“All of that… is terrifying,” I said.

“Is Grotto’s newfound freedom to disclose all his secrets on your list?” asked Xim.

“Adding it now.”

“We should curate a list of questions for that as well,” said Varrin. “I assume you are the reason we received that notification, Grotto.”

[Indeed. My System Call intrinsic subsequently advanced 3 levels.]

“Maybe an army of c’thons can help us with the avatars!” said Etja.

[Please do not state such apocalyptic ideas aloud.]

“Please?” said Xim. “Two in one year?”

“Just let it happen,” I said. “Calling attention to it may discourage him.”

“We can ask Shog about this when he returns,” said Varrin, climbing out of the extremely-hot tub and moving to the deathly-cold tub. I studiously avoided staring, but Nuralie did not, which I again found interesting.

I placed a circle next to the Shog question, noting that the page was getting messy. I needed a more aesthetic way to take notes.

“Next there’s a bunch of stuff about the Closet that Grotto and I can handle on our own,” I said. “Patio for grilling and chilling, more greenhouse plants–we could start growing alchemy ingredients–disappearing exits, shifting hallways, one-way mirrors and walls… Shit, I forgot to reset my inventory home point. ‘Priority. Don’t blow up Formation.’ I even wrote it in all caps.”

“Would the entire Closet really appear at your home point if you died?” asked Xim. “I mean, it’s huge. Where would you even find a space that big?”

“I could buy a few acres in the mountains,” I muttered, adding a big star beside it. There was a note about ideas for a corpse explosion trap, but I drew a line through it. “Next is ‘Accrue power! Dominate our enemies! Attain immortality so that we might live forever!’”

[That one is far too low on The List.]

“Huh,” said Xim. “You haven’t been nearly as power-hungry lately, Grotto.”

[Do you require further encouragement? You have reached level 12 in 2 years and conquered 2 special Delves, each of which held the highest difficulty rating. I am merely biding my time as you continue to amass achievements that would take other Delvers a decade if they did not perish first.]

“But you’re still advocating for world domination?” I asked. “How does that serve your function of helping Delvers ascend?”

[Do you listen to your own questions, or do you merely spout whatever comes to mind without first seeking the answer yourself?]

“I usually consider the answer along with everyone else,” I said with a smile. “If the ‘obvious’ response is that seeking the strength to rule the world naturally results in the strength to ascend, then I still feel like you’re putting too much focus on it. There are other ways to get there.”

[I have more experience in these matters. I also wish to enjoy the feeling of commanding global armies.] Grotto’s feelers rose into the air. I prepared for a full flailing. [We will warp this feeble planet to our will! We shall create a dynasty that will be unending, dominating this universe until only the heavens remain to conquer! Then, we will march on the gods themselves!]

“Good to know,” I said. “Next item is ‘Items’.” I rolled up The List and pulled out The Other List. It was equally as cool and awesome. “We need to return the Longsword of the Bluewren and the Brooch of House Spyreling. Oh, Etja now has enough Luck for the Fortunate Ring we looted from Yaretzi.” I pulled out the ring and tossed it to the mage, who caught it even as she continued to pluck and strum.

Fortunate Ring

Requirements: LCK 20

Once per day, one of the following effects may occur, although you may not choose when or if one triggers.

1) An attack you make that would otherwise miss miraculously hits.

2) An attack made against you that would otherwise hit miraculously misses.

“Neat!” she said, sliding it on.

“Any headway on the Abandoned Grimoire, Nuralie?”

“It burns knowledge into my mind,” she answered. Pause. “I am on the precipice of enlightenment.”

“Yes, very good.” I marked it with a ‘K’ for ‘Keep an eye on Nuralie’. “I’m holding on to the Spiked Mace of the Bloody Jubilee if no one opposes. The Bardiche of Blood Scour went to Shog. The rest of this is stuff to trade or sell, I think.” I read out the rest of the items, which can be found in Appendix A.

“I’ll take the Staff of Quiet Solitude,” said Xim. “And the Scutum of Blood Scour.”

“The staff buffs curses,” I said. “Your new passive is the only thing it applies to.”

“Curses are fun. I might build into them more.”

“The shield is a foot and a half taller than you.”

“Exactly!” She raised her hands above her head and did a stretch, her lean muscles rippling. I did not studiously avoid staring, and neither did anyone else. “The Clockwork Gear shield mainly grants Shielding, which I don’t need anymore since I’m constantly generating it with my new Fortitude evo. Plus, it applies Slowed when I use it, which is annoying.”

“Uh, okay.” I cleared my throat. “Anyone opposed?” Predictably, no one had a problem with it.

“I will take the rest of the items with me to Hiward,” said Varrin. Despite being in the ice tub, his cheeks were flushed. “I can have an expert auction or trade them. My family keeps several on retainer. Just give me a list of what gear everyone is looking for before I leave.”

“Nice,” I said. “We also have a bunch of random essences.” I scanned the list. “Are we doing anything with these Greater Mimicry Essences?”

Nuralie shot up so fast, water plumed 20 feet into the air.

The loson pulled out a mana-woven leather satchel and opened it to reveal a bundle of warded oilcloth. She unwrapped it to reveal the Abandoned Grimoire and began flipping through its pages. I frowned as a drop of the dark viscous goo that covered it dripped into the pool. Hopefully, the spring wasn’t about to become cursed.

“The Corvite Slab.” Pause. “I think I can clone it.”

Varrin sat forward and pulled out the item he’d earned from The Icon of the Psychopomp.

Corvite Slab

Items made from this material can only be wielded by members of the Ravvenblaq family.

All weaves imbued into this item are 100% stronger if crafted by a member of the Ravvenblaq family.

“Truly?” he asked.

Nuralie flipped a page back and forth, tail swishing through the water.

“It will use all of the essences.” She paused and started to look sick. I was worried the hot spring’s cleaning weaves were about to get tested. “It will also take a diamond chip.” She listed the expense as though it were a child sacrifice.

“Should we… buy more essences?” I asked.

“There are no more Greater Mimicry essences,” said Varrin. “As far as I am aware, The Mimic dropped the only 5 to exist. If anyone else has them, they are not for sale.”

“Sounds worth it to me,” I said. “You can get a fucking awesome piece of gear now, and another fucking awesome piece of gear at a higher level.”

“Grandfather will leap at the opportunity to work the material,” said Varrin.

“Papa Junior’s gonna make you that good shit.”