When Ashley arrived, Reid as her minder, Lancaster brightened again as though all thoughts of subterfuge had never been there. He hurried to Ashley’s side under Reid’s watchful eye.

“Ever a pleasure to see you, Miss Cazalla.”

“You really need to stop calling me that,” Ashley said. “I prefer just Ashley.”

“Yes, well, though the world seems to have forgotten itself, I have not. An appropriately respectful address is more than a nicety. Holding onto the trappings of our society makes it all feel alive and well if I do say so myself.”

Reid rolled his eyes. “Come on, Lancaster, you’re getting all twisted for no reason. No one gives a shit about titles anymore.”

The doctor steeled under Reid’s dutiful gaze, flashing a glare his way.

“It’s fine,” Ashley said. “You call me Miss all you like if I call you Doc?”

Lancaster pursed his lips before nodding. “Yes. Though it will become confusing with both myself and Doctor Black in the room.”

“I’m not-“ Helena started to say but stopped herself. “I’m sure we’ll manage.”

With a shrug, Lancaster put a hand on Ashley’s arm. From where she stood, Helena could easily see Reid bristle at the motion. But he did nothing else, he merely watched as Ashley was led to the table.

Lancaster went on, babbling about how good she looked now that she was well-rested and properly fed. From the brief encounters Helena had with Ashley, she expected terse replies, a flippant joke, and maybe that plastic smile she wore like a shield. Instead, she saw a genuine smile and laugh.

Ashley bantered back like they were old friends, comfortable in a way Helena hadn’t imagined. And just like that, she stopped being the girl on the poster. Helena sighed at the sight of a woman trapped in the apocalyptic hellscape like she was. Scared, distrustful, trying to stay alive. In seconds, Helena put herself in Ashley’s place, imaging what she’d have done if their situations were reversed.

I’d be gone. Helena frowned and turned away from Ashley. I’d have left the first chance I had. Wouldn’t have stayed on that highway. Wouldn’t have helped anyone get anywhere. Would have left last night while everyone was asleep, even if it meant… She swallowed hard and her gut flipped again.

When she looked up again, Reid was staring right past her. Past Helena to Ashley and Lancaster. He had that half frown on his face, his brow creased in concentration. I know that look. She used to catch him looking like that at Eric months ago whenever she didn’t stay with Reid the night before. Protective glares from afar. Jealousy, maybe, but that intense focus like no one else was in the room.

In the back of her mind, she scolded herself. You knew. From the moment you found out he was going to let her go, you knew. He’s not yours anymore.

“More needles today?” Ashley asked and it called Helena from her thoughts.

“They are the tools of my trade, I’m sorry to say.” Lancaster smiled, twisted the capped needle around like he could make a trick, but nearly dropped it in the process.

Ashley laughed. “Careful you don’t stick yourself with it.”

“You jest, but on more than one occasion I’ve made such a mistake.” He winked at Ashley with beside manner Helena hadn’t suspected he possed.

Expertly, he slipped the needle in and filled the phials. Their banter went back and forth, something about juggling needles, then poodles, and some silly rendition of the damn song Lancaster hummed. It all blurred together for Helena. The sounds came at her in waves, pulling her back and forth as though on a ship, and her nausea returned.

Keep it down. It's just the breakfast of chips and stale water. But the oily taste made her feel worse.

Helena lurched towards the desk and grabbed the nearest trash bin that wasn’t made of mesh. She vomited until her stomach was empty, and then vomited a little more.

“Feeling ill, Doctor Black?” Lancaster asked as he slid the needle from Ashley’s arm.

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“Breakfast didn’t agree with me,” she lied.

Reid stepped forward, his boots thumping towards her like a hammer. The last thing she wanted was to look at him, listen to him ask “are you okay” and sell him some bullshit about stale chips. As she turned her head away, a second lurch nearly forced her mouth open. It was all she could do to stagger back to the nearest chair and keep from throwing up a third time.

Lancaster stepped up, quick strides taking him around the desk. Without asking, he took the bucket from her and presented a fresh one. Then, he thrust the vomit bin in Reid’s hands. “I trust you can manage this,” Lancaster ordered.

Reid begrudgingly took the bucket but looked to Ashley before moving.

“That reeks,” she said and Reid huffed.

“I’ll be back. Don’t leave,” he told Ashley before leaving the room.

“Surly man, that one,” Lancaster said. “But I might have just the thing for this.”

“I’m fine,” Helena said. “Really, I don’t need anything.”

“Nonsense. I packed away some ginger ale for instances such as this. A bit of sugar and carbonation will do you wonders.”

Helena couldn't remember the last time she'd had a soft drink, and any other day it would have been a small treasure but she shook her head as she wavered over the bin.

“I'll get it anyway,” Lancaster said. “I can't give you anything else in your state.”

In my state? The words stuck with her even as he hurried out of the room. The silence as Ashley and Helena sat there alone was deafening until Ashley slipped off the chair. Its creak called Helena up from the bucket, and she watched Ashley cross the room. She peered out of the door, as though checking if they were alone, before coming back in.

“How far along are you?” Ashley whispered.

Helena opened her mouth to speak but ended up dry heaving in the bucket instead. But in her head, in the moments between gags, thoughts reluctantly clung together. “ In my state.” “How far along.” Nausea without cause. Hormonal outbursts.

Ashley dragged a chair nearer and straddled it, the back bracing her arms. “You are pregnant, right?”

The waves subsided, the imaginary boat stopped heaving and Helena could sit up a bit. Still, she clung to the trash bin like a life preserver.

“I guess.” It wasn't much of an answer but as close as she’d come to accept it. “I wish it was the flu.” A bitter laugh left her lips and she saw the smile mirrored in Ashley.

Tucking her blond hair behind her ears, Helena checked for any remnants that may have missed the mark before trying to stand. “Not exactly the kind of life I'd want for a kid.”

Ashley shrugged and rest her chin on the chair. “Not the kind of life for anyone really.” The strange understanding filled the space between them. Helena had always felt isolated from those around her and she hadn't told a soul about her suspicions, not even the father.

“Might make it more bearable though,” Ashley's voice seemed distant then, but there was an acute honesty. “Having a family again. More to lose, sure, but something to live for.”

There were mountains of emotions in the words, so many things that Ashley wasn't saying. Having a family, being a mother, a child, making a home. A life. Helena swallowed at the nerves that bunched in her gut.

“Don't tell anyone,” she demanded at first but realized that wouldn’t have much sway with Ashley. “Please don’t tell. I don't want anyone to know. Not yet.”

Ashley nodded and Helena wanted to believe she would.

“They should know soon and if the father is still alive, you’ve gotta-“

“When I’m ready.” Helena wiped clean her lips and exhaled steady breaths. Not yet. Evelyn would call me back, Eric wouldn’t let me out of his sight even more than he does now. And Reid… Her hand shook and she clenched it tight into a fist. I can’t tell Reid. Not yet.

Reid walked into the room with Lancaster, heavily weighted plastic bags showing the outline of cans.

“Did you know he has a whole skid of pop in the basement?” The sound of can's opening with gentle hisses echoed from the hall. Even Reid seemed to escape reality for a brief moment as he chugged back a whole can of cola.

It's not the right time, she thought watching him. His focus locked on Ashley the moment he entered, offering her a selection of cans.

Lancaster politely handed Helena a ginger ale. “I’m not exactly pleased they found my ‘stash’ but here’s to hoping this helps,” he said with a sigh.

“You’re not having one?” Helena asked.

Lancaster shook his head. “Soda only makes me more thirsty.” But as the brief reprieve died down, the doctor continued with his work preparing samples for testing and what she assumed would be their DNA confirmation kit.

Once finished, Reid led Ashley from the room and Lancaster motioned for Helena to come nearer. “I had a thought as to your arrangement with this ‘Escort One’ and the woes transportation across distances presents,” Lancaster said. “There is a small school bus and wheel trans vehicle in the parking lot. Both worked as of about four months ago, though I can’t speak to their fuel situation. That said, most of the vehicles acquired for the parking lot barricade were driven in place. I’m sure some of your less integral companions could try and siphon gas from the other vehicles. I recommend dusk and dawn for optimal safety.”

“The roads will be blocked.” Helena sipped at the ginger ale as the idea of driving instead of walking made the plan feel infinitely more possible.

“You would not be wrong, but I do believe sidewalks are wide in most parts of the city. It wouldn't be the wisest of options but you could use said vehicles for transportation to and from for your people. If this deal of yours works.” Hesitation nipped at words.

“You think it's a trap?” There was a relief in being blunt with Lancaster. No tender hand-holding or guiding someone through a hard reality. He seemed utterly unaffected by her bluntness which set her more at ease.

“Yes, but I'm distrustful at my core.” If it had been a joke Helena didn't notice as the man gave a meek smile. “Either way, there are some things worth risking one’s life for.” His eyes cast downward at her belly.

Though Helena knew she wasn’t showing, she nodded and took another deep sip.