Outside there was no crowd to greet them. The quad had a few stranglers but Reid noticed them as Evelyn and Finn’s helpers, keeping the stranglers at bay. So instead of a jeering angry mob, they were met by the silent outdoors.
They didn’t speak as Helena hurried ahead, guiding them to the Gate House dormitory. Reid wanted to, need to was more like. He had to talk to Ashley about everything that had happened. To apologize and to explain. Greg was a good man but had lost his wife just six months ago and, like Andre, their parents before that. Brendan was just a kid following along, and Gabriel didn’t know where to put his anger. Nobody really did.
He needed her to know that it was Monte. That even though he’d gone through shit, like everyone else, the man relished violence. That one convincing man could confuse and misguide a hundred others. That she would be safe now. He’d see to that.
But it all felt like hollow promises to sate his guilt not her wounds.
That, and there was Helena. She looked back every few paces, her eyes cold as always. Even as they stepped into the dormitory and climbed the three floors of stairs, the two were under her pervasive gaze.
Sitting in the hallway outside the bathroom as Helena helped clean up Ashley, Reid was left to his own memories. Months ago, before they left, he and Helena were close. Physically at least. Emotionally she was an iceberg - frigid and alone. He'd tried to get to know her better but she’d never been interested. Medicine was all she cared about and even that seemed to be nothing but stress. Closed off, callous, short and uninterested in anything but a good fuck. At first, Reid didn't mind so much.
But that's why you left. Shit got awkward. You asked for more, she said no. Couldn’t be the same after that. Sighing heavily, part of him missed the hunt out in the wilderness. The purpose, the direction. Reid rubbed his gut, sure he could feel a bruise forming. I got attacked less and things were simpler. Resting his head back against the wall he stared at the ceiling, their voices soft enough to be unintelligible. He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the shower. Cold water on broken tiles was nothing like the sound of rain on pavement.
“My poor boy.” Finn's voice snapped Reid's eyes open. “Always left in the cold.” He looked up to a consoling smile. Reid welcomed the distraction.
“Did you hear what happened?”
Finn nodded while biting into an apple despite the bruises in it's skin.
“What'll they do to Monte?”
“Not a goddamn thing,” he said, his mouth half full. “Saul will protect his brother and Evelyn will protect her family’s ticket out of here.”
Reid swore under his breath but wasn’t all that shocked. It’d be easier than dealing with it. They needed Saul, which meant they put up with Monte.
“So,” Finn said with another gulping bite of the apple. “Did you fuck her our there or just want to?”
Reid's face froze in disgust. He balled. “What the fuck did you say?”
“Was just asking.” Finn looked off towards the door that was closed, the sounds of the shower still filling the hallway. “She looked like she'd have nice tits. Small but perky. You know the kind, right?”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He looked up in disbelief at Finn who nonchalantly bit into his apple again. “She was attacked and you're talking about-” Reid's voice dropped and he glanced back at the door. “-her fucking tits?”
“Proving a point, my boy.” Finn looked down at the apple shaking his head. “You are too close to her. Six months back, you’d have laughed, said you couldn’t know, and we’d be on another subject. You’re callous, Reid. I like you because you’re callous. Hell, I like all my friends to be a little callous. You can’t be caring out here. Especially for the likes of her.
“So, I say, if you want to fuck her, get over it with quickly.” Finn brought the apple back to his lips for a wet bite. “Because caring and getting close to her won’t get your dick wet. It’s more likely to get you shot. Not even I could save you from that fate.”
Finn left Reid with a wink and the core of an apple. For a few minutes, Reid sat there fuming until the cold flowery bullshit dropped away from what Finn had said. “You are too close to her.” Reid turned the core over in his hand. I am too close.
The water was turned off and Helena opened the door. She closed it tightly behind herself and leaned against the hallway across from him.
The steam from the bathroom left a gentle sheen on her skin, her clothes damp but surprisingly clean for the amount of blood she'd been dealing with.
Helena sighed and shook her head. “I don't get it.” Her hair frizzed in the repressed ponytail she never went around the camp without. While watching her, Reid couldn't help but remember the few times he'd seen it down.
“She should have passed out by now. It doesn't make any sense. The amount of blood, stress, and pain. I mean I know people get hard out here but...”
“How bad is it?” The question brought her chilly blue eyes to his.
“She'll never use her hand again. Or at least that's what I thought when I first saw her… now I don't know. Her forearm has some muscle damage but she can move it. The bicep will be okay if it doesn’t get infected but… she shouldn’t be able to move it.” Helena looked away from Reid and slid down to the floor against the wall. “Thank god Monte is a sick fuck or he'd have just slit her throat and be done with it”
As the words left her lips Ashley opened the door.
“I’ll be sure to write him a nice card.” Her voice sounded strained and tired. She’d wrapped a towel around her body and held it there with her wounded hand. But… it wasn’t the wound he’d seen minutes before.
Despite the exhaustion that leeched from her, her previous wounds before coming to the camp were nearly gone. The bite on her shoulder looked like a ten-year-old scar that had been only bruised and the ashen look seemed to have washed away in the shower. Her arm and hand looked still showed signs of brutalization, but nowhere near the severity he’d witnessed. The cut on her bicep looked like it had nearly closed. Not an hour had passed since it happened.
“Jesus Christ...” Helena was on her feet and strode to Ashley quickly. “It's not possible...”
“The infection is nearly out of my system.” Ashley exhaled slowly. “The antibiotics you gave me really helped and now I'm recovering... normally.”
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Helena shook her head and lifted Ashley's hand. Reid watched her bring her eyes close to the wound, studying the stitching and the deep lacerations. “Antibiotics can't do this. This isn't normal.”
Ashley pulled her hand away as Reid got to his feet. “Like I said before, you should forget what you’ve seen.” Taking in a deep breath Ashley turned to face Reid. He could feel it in his face, the dumbfounded shock running his jaw slack. “You should too.” Her eyes steeled and she looked to the floor.
“I'd like to get a bed and some clothes.” The way she moved and talked was strange. The defiance he’d seen in her before deflated into a distant compliance.
She can’t be infected. She heals quickly. He ran the two phrases over and over in his mind.
“Have your people called in for the evacuation yet?” Ashley asked.
Helena stared. She said nothing but stared at Ashley as if the same thing was going through hers.
“I don't know,” Reid finally said when it was clear Helena wouldn’t. “They might have sent something out as soon as we got here. I haven't been privy to much though since-” He paused. Does she think it was a setup? He remembered the few moments before the attack and waited but Ashley nodded. No, he thought with relief, she doesn't.
“There’s a room,” Helena said, pointing down the hall.
The three walked to the open door and Ashley stepped in, Helena following after. “There's some clothing on the bed. I can help you changed.”
Reid politely waited outside as the two went in, leaving the door open enough to still talk.
“You should forget what you’ve seen.”
She can’t be infected.
“You should forget what you’ve seen.”
She can heal. She can heal impossibly fast.
“You should forget what you’ve seen.”
“We should probably hide keep the number of people interacting with you to a minimum,” Reid said. The words were met by silence as Reid stood there waiting, thinking about what he meant. Why? To keep her safe? If they think she's injured they'll take it easy on her? That wasn't likely. But his mind began to elaborate, fill in the gaps. So they can’t see. Can’t know. Can’t know what is… pretty impossible, right? Maybe I imagined it? No… but… Inevitably what Finn had said stuck with him. Or is it so she can have an up. Get away? Find a chance to use her perceived weakness to take advantage.
“I agree,” Helena said softly.
Reid looked to the door and peered into the room. Ashley's back was to him and she was replacing a shirt, Helena helping to tug it down. Out of instinct, or perhaps habit, she looked back at Reid and frowned, shooing him before turning back to help Ashley.
“The longer they think you're sick the more time we'll have before-”
“I'm exchanged.” Disdain dripped from Ashley’s words.
“Yes,” Helena said plainly.
Reid entered the room and watched Ashley walk to the small window that looked down into the quad. On the lawn he could hear the children talking and playing before they readied for lunch. The newer kids had already mingled well with the ones who'd been in the camp since the beginning. Ashley held her hand to the window, the stitches dark against her pale palm. Reid wanted to say something, he felt a painful need to walk to her side, one he didn't try to understand.
“Did you do it?” The question fell coldly from Helena's lips.
It was a question Reid hadn't asked himself since the highway. Does it matter?. His eyes stayed on Ashley as he watched her clench her still wounded palm slowly before dropping it to her side. No. It doesn’t matter anymore. Not to me.
“This world wouldn't exist if it wasn't for me.”
“That's not what she asked.” Reid stepped towards her, standing next to Helena. “She asked-”
“It doesn't matter,” Ashley said firmly. Turning around she took a deep breath, clearly making a point not to look at Reid. “I'm responsible for all of-”
“I don't care about responsibility,” Helena interrupted. “I care about a cure. I need you to tell me what you did. How you made the virus.”
Ashley rolled her eyes. “I don’t make it and there isn't a cure.”
“There must be. You didn't get infected.”
“I told you to forget about it. Forget about this-” Ashley held up her wounded hand and took a step towards Helena. “Forget about trying to save everyone because the more you know the more damage it'll do. A 'cure' is the reason we're all here.”
Reid tried to piece together what she was and wasn't saying but it still didn't make sense to him.
Helena huffed. “I don't understand.”
“And it's better that way,” Ashley countered. “The people who get close to me, to knowing about me, those people end up very dead.”
“What do you mean 'a cure is the reason we're here'?” Helena continued but Ashley shook her head.
“Look, it is better for you and everyone else that you just… make the exchange and move on with your lives. I don’t have answers for you.”
But Helena persisted. “I watched a level two infectious bite heal to next to nothing in a matter of days. Saw your wounds close before my fucking eyes. You don't have the luxury of 'not having answers'. These people, all of them including those kids you worked so hard to save, are going to die. Even if we get out of here there's no guarantee anywhere in the world is safe.”
Reid reached out to Helena, to pull her back, but she shrugged him off. Not in all their months together had he seen such passion in her.
“If you have taken something, some anti-virus, or you have some innate natural immunity, we need to explore it. I might not be able to make a cure but we could try to find someone who can. Maybe before you get exchanged.”
But all Ashley did was shake her head. “You don't understand.”
Striding forward Helena nearly screamed in Ashley's face. “Then fucking explain it to me!”
“Helena, calm down,” Reid tried said.
“No.” Helena stepped up to meet Ashley’s eyes. “If you feel fucking responsible why won't you help us? Why won't you do something?”
Ashley stepped back. “I didn't start this.”
“Who cares who started it! Finish it. Help us, for fuck sake, actually help us.”
“Helena, calm the fuck down.” Reid grabbed her arms and pulled her back as Ashley backed up against the window.
“Let me go, Reid,” Helena struggled against him, tears in her eyes. “I said let me go!”
“I will when you calm down.”
She shrugged him off again, but instead of going at Ashley once more, Helena stomped off into the hallway. All the time he’d known Helena he'd never seen her lose her cool. Not even when he said he was leaving did she react this way, not a single tear. But now she stomped down the hallway.
Reid stood awkwardly with Ashley and the silence between them swelled.
“They'll kill her if they think she knows anything.” Ashley stared at the ground, holding her wounded arm in her good hand. “They don't want a cure for the infection and anyone who knows about me, about… they’ll kill her. They’ll kill everyone.”
“They?” Anger boiled within him. “Who the hell are you talking about? You sound paranoid about some, what, fucking conspiracy bullshit?”
“The fucking poster. The ones you're going to trade me for!” Finally, she looked up to Reid and he could see how young she really was. Hard, prepared, even the jokes she’d worn were all a guise. But the ‘they’ she spoke of sparked a real fear in her eyes that not even Monte and his knife could coax from her.
“They will kill everyone here if they think you know anything about me beyond what's on the poster. They will kill the kids, your friends, even if they think only she knows. They’ll wipe all evidence off the map. They don’t care about you. Why do you think the poster says 'dead or alive'? They don't want a cure. Not for you.”
Helena slowly made her way back into the room, Eric following her in. “We're moving you to your room now,” she said, wiping the lingering tears from her cheek. “It'd be best if you pretended you were still wounded.”
“I know,” Ashley answered
Before Reid could protest to say more Eric escorted Ashley from the room. When he tried to follow Helena stopped him, waiting until Eric and Ashley were out in the quad below.
“I've taken samples of her blood,” Helena said.
“I think you should trust her on this. We don't know enough about who we'll be dealing with and-”
“I don't care.” Sitting him down on the bed, Helena stared at the wall, clearly thinking hard on the process. “I'm not a doctor. I'm barely a medic but this could be huge.” Helena bit her fingernails. “Remember those broadcasts from before you left? The ones from Casa Loma?”
Reid wracked his memory until it hit him.“Lancaster?”
“He's a doctor. I looked him up a few months ago in some of the old journals around here. He's a geneticist but his transmissions make it sound like he knows a bit about virology.”
“You have got to be kidding.” Reid shook his head. “You're listening to his transmissions? Lancaster's insane.”
“He might be able to help.” Taking a moment to collect herself Helena stood, bottled up the passion and emotion. She stared down at Reid calmly and with cool confidence. “I think with him we can do more than just make a trade. But I'm going to need your help.”