Malick stumbled through his front door, the aftereffects of his wild night still clinging to him like a bad cologne. He barely managed to kick off his shoes before collapsing in a heap on his sagging couch. In no time at all, the darkness claimed him, and he passed out as if he’d just won a medal for drunken endurance.
When Malick finally stirred the next day, the first thing he registered was a pounding headache that made his skull feel like a percussion instrument. The room was thankfully dark. ‘How long did I sleep for’ he wondered. He looked at his phone. It was 7pm! He had slept for almost an entire twenty four hours!
He looked at the empty beer cans and takeout boxes lay scattered around like evidence of a crime scene. He groaned, regretting his life choices.
‘Ouch, my everything hurts,’ he thought, grimacing as he tried to piece together the remnants of his memory from the night before.
In his foggy state, Malick recalled all those system novels where characters leveled up or received quest notifications to fix their lives. ‘Wouldn’t it be awesome if this massive pain in his head and oversleeping was the result of a System merger, and not the after effects of too much tequila?’
He imagined a digital overlay blinking into existence: “System Notification: Hangover - Effect: Critical. Quest: Drink Water, Find Aspirin, and Survive the Day.” Unfortunately there was no such notification.
Rising unsteadily from the couch, Malick shuffled toward his kitchen. Every step was a small victory over the remnants of last night’s bender. As he opened the fridge, he half-hoping to see a blinking message urging him to hydrate. Instead, he was met with the sad sight of a few lonely bottles of water, a Grepsi Cola and a yawning reminder of his life’s recent decisions.
‘I’ve read so many novels about Systems—maybe one day, I’ll finally get lucky and unlock a “Life Doesn’t Suck bonus” or something,’ he thought bitterly. But as he took a tentative sip of water, the nausea in his stomach assured him that no such bonus was coming. Reality was very much in control.
With a resigned chuckle and a groan, Malick shuffled back to his bedroom. He’d need all the help that he could muster to tackle the rest of the day remaining.
For now, he decided he was just going to lie there, and hope the caffeine, aspirin and water took effect soon.
Closing his eyes he was shocked to see a blue screen actually appearing in front of his eyes.
[Congratulations to host for merging with the Luck System]
LUCK SYSTEM: LEVEL 1 ( 0/100)
Kinda Unlucky – You step in a puddle right as you leave home, but at least it’s just water. Probably.
BAD LUCK POINTS (BP): 238
ACTION LOG: EXPAND?
ITEM SHOP: LOCKED
WHEEL OF FORTUNE: LOCKED
STATS: EXPAND?
SKILLS: EXPAND?
INVENTORY: EXPAND?
***
For a moment, he wasn’t sure if he was still dreaming. He had literally been joking to himself about Systems, so maybe his overactive imagination had conjured one?
He opened his eyes and squinted at the ceiling, staring at the System notification—it looked exactly like the ones from the novels he constantly read.
Propping himself up on one elbow, he peered around his cluttered apartment. Nothing looked surreal or glitchy enough to suggest he was still dreaming. The mess, the smell, the relentless throbbing in his head—these were all very real.
‘Definitely not still sleeping,’ he mused.
***
He knew he wasn’t dreaming, so had he gone insane?
‘Oh well, if I’ve gone insane, there’s nothing I can do about it.’
He refused to be one of those protagonists who whined for days about whether the System was real. If it was real, great. If not, well… at least his delusions came with a user interface.
“Let’s see what this System is all about,” he said out loud to himself, accepting his fate with the same nonchalant attitude people usually had when blindly clicking Accept Terms and Conditions without reading them—not that the System had actually shown him any.
Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.
Then, he looked at the screen again.
LUCK SYSTEM: LEVEL 1 ( 0/100)
Kinda Unlucky – You step in a puddle right as you leave home, but at least it’s just water. Probably.
BAD LUCK POINTS (BP): 238
ACTION LOG: EXPAND?
ITEM SHOP: LOCKED
LUCKY DRAW : LOCKED
STATS: EXPAND?
SKILLS: EXPAND?
INVENTORY: EXPAND?
***
‘What’s a Luck System? And why do I have Bad Luck points?’ He wondered.
[System Response] The luck system is based on luck. And Bad Luck points are the basis of it.
“That tells me nothing.”
[System Response] You’re lucky to even have a System, stop being lazy, do you know how busy I am. Explore it yourself.
“Eeep. Ok.” Malick said, definitely didn’t want to piss off his brand new System.
***
POV : Astral Universe
“We shouldn’t have let Pride have the first turn to talk to him! I told you it was a bad idea. I should have been the first contact. And just so you all know, I’ll be carefully checking the quota and turns!” said Envy, waving his skinny arms.
““Oh, shughar, you gohhda knoh it wush random,” Gluttony said through a mouthful of food, words barely making it out between bites.
CHOMP. CHOMP.
Gluttony kept talking while devouring an entire pizza. Not a slice. The whole thing, held up with both hands as she tore into it like a starving beast. One slice in hand, while the other held the remaining pizza. Grease dripped down her arms, splattering onto the floor as she spoke around a mouthful of cheese and dough.
“We were lucky the Virchoos didn’ geh firsh contac’. Besidesh, Pride’s only in control fer 24 Earth hoursh,” she mumbled through the layers of melted mozzarella, barely pausing before taking another massive bite.
“I’m doing a great job! The best! Nobody could have done it better!” Pride responded arrogantly to the uncalled for criticism.
***
POV: Calgary
‘Ok, I’ll explore it myself,’ Malick thought.
What’s this action log?
He mentally clicked it, half-expecting some grand revelation. Maybe a detailed history of his achievements? A record of every significant moment since he got the System?
ACTION LOG
00:00 BP 254
01:00 BP 255
02:00 BP 256
.
.
.
07:00 BP 261
08:00 BP 262
Car broke down -7
09:00 BP 255
Got overcharged by greedy mechanic -3
10:00 BP 252
Girlfriend breaks up with you -4
11:00 BP 248
Drank expired beer -2
17:00 BP 246
Got overcharged for drinks -1
18:00 BP 245
Got beer spilled on you -1
Got car scratched by drunk driver -1
Ate expired food -2
Spilled tequila on yourself -2
19:00 BP 239
Stepped in puddle of urine in bar bathroom -2
20:00 BP 237
Ran into scammers -2
21:00 BP 235
22:00 BP 236
23:00 BP 237
24:00 BP 238
…
Malick stared at the list and couldn’t help but marvel at the sheer volume of bad luck that had apparently clung to him. Sure, he’d always thought of himself as a bit unlucky, but with the events laid out in black and white, he realized he was, in fact, monumentally cursed. Clearly, he was justified in complaining about his bad luck.
Some of the entries made his blood boil. “Got overcharged by a mechanic? That fucker,” he fumed. “I always thought he was a fair guy—guess I was wrong.” Then there was the curious case of the scam. “Getting scammed? Really?” he wondered aloud. He’d been at the Chinese fortune shop, where the luck system and his shiny new bracelet had been given to him. ‘So why, in the world, did his action log claim otherwise? Perhaps the action log wasn’t 100% correct?’
Other entries forced Malick to reflect on his drunken debauchery. How many expired beers had he gulped down, or how many atrocious nachos had he devoured? And, as if that wasn’t enough, the final nail in yesterday’s coffin: “Stepped in a puddle of urine.” Gross doesn’t even begin to cover it.
‘I’m starting to think my life is one giant cosmic prank,’ he mused, half amused and half exasperated. ‘If only there were a “Re-roll Luck” option in my System menu…’
He looked for it. There was no such option.
With a bitter chuckle and a shake of his head, Malick realized that sometimes, the universe just loves to mess with you—and his action log was the most damning proof of that.
***