.
.
.
.
.
.
.
King smiled at Jessica, “That was a close one,”
Jessica glared at him, “I thought you didn’t approve of my work?”
King had a dislike of law breaking, and that made a lot of sense since he was making the laws. “It is still quite entertaining.”
Jessica sighed, arms behind her head, “So can you see what I see or what? It feels like half the time you’re talking as if you were there and the other you act like you’re stuck in this place while I’m awake.”
King tilted his head a bit, “No to the first, yes and yes to the second. I get access to your day’s memories for storage purposes, and I can review them, but while you are awake, I am here in this place.”
Jessica opened her mouth to make a particular comment, but King spoke over her, “I am very particular about what memories I review. I have little interest in how you physical beings sate yourself so there’s no point in talking about it.” His voice dripped in disgust. He really didn’t like talking about it.
Jessica relented, if only because she didn’t want to poke the monster with access to her memories. He had more firepower and all that. “Ok, then can you explain why I froze up when I spoke to Michael?”
King shrugged, a sour look still on his face. “Same reason you always do.”
Jessica waited but King said nothing else. “What is that supposed to mean?”
The look on King’s face grew a bit… mischievous. He took his time answering, “You’ve been doing it for a while now, though I believe this was the first time it was obvious. You seem to instinctively try to keep him at arm’s length.”
Jessica frowned, sitting down at this point since King clearly wasn’t going to make this easy. She supposed one benefit of King breaching her privacy was that introspection was a lot easier. She frowned deeper as she thought of her interactions with Michael. She didn’t know a lot about him, but he also didn’t know much about her either. As she replayed conversations back in her head, she realized King was right. She steered conversations to books and shows and avoided personal topics.
Jessica sighed, “Ok, but why am I doing that?”
King just returned a look, “Why does anyone do that? What do people risk when getting close?”
“I get that you’re trying to sound wise and cryptic, but it’s more patronizing and annoying.”
King smirked, a feat worthy of praise considering his face and all, “If I come right out and say it plainly, you’ll just get angry and deny it. You’ll need to figure this out on your own or ask better questions.”
Jessica scoffed, “You starting to sound like Dr Lindsey.”
“That’s a point to her character then.” King stated, arrogant asshole.
Jessica closed her eyes, and thought it through. Why do people keep others away? Something popped into her head, speaking of her new therapist. “I’m not afraid.”
King sighed deeply, “oh please don’t act like a child. You’ve been so mature lately.”
Jessica stood up. Arms straight, hands curling into fists. “ I’m not afraid, I’m not!” She said. She wasn’t going to be scared of asking a boy out. That was ridiculous, she was better than that. She was stronger than that.
“This is why I let you figure things out yourself.”
Jessica pointed a finger at King’s snout, “You’re wrong. I’m not scared!”
King leaned away, rolling his eyes. “Oh spare me your tantrum. Fear is natural and your denial of it is so infantile. Of course you’re scared, it’s normal.”
“Fuck you!”
King brought claws to the side of his head and rubbed his temples. Then something settled in his gaze, “You know what, you’re too old for this. Tell me when you’ve calmed down and we’ll talk.”
Suddenly, King was gone. She watched him uncoil himself and fly away before disappearing into the dark. “Hey!” She screamed, “Where are you going?”
No answer.
“I’m still here you jerk! Let me out!”
Silence. She waited for a time, then began to walk. It felt like walking in place, with neither up nor down. She wasn’t going to sleep either. Stupid dragon, stupid mindscape. She wasn’t scared. Jessica figured she could wait him out. She would need to wake up eventually, he couldn't keep her here forever, right? Jessica gulped nervously, then shook her head. If he could do that then King would have by now to try and force her to touch him. No… but how long would that be. She knew dreams could last far longer than the real passage of time. Would it be hours, days, or weeks before she woke up naturally.
Jessica took a deep breath and forced her heart to steady. “That was a shit move you know!” She called out. No answer.
With a few more deep breaths, she sat down, and said “I’m calm now.”
King was back in a moment, wrapped around her until the void was completely covered up. She felt herself relax, for how annoying he could be, the void was pretty awful to just sit in.
“Good, now I am going to talk, and you are going to listen. Got it?” King said, his voice stern and… heavy. She felt something in it that wasn’t sound but it thrummed in her ears all the same. She also could tell that it wasn’t working.
“Sure,” Jessica agreed, the faster this was over with the better.
King cracked his neck, the sound jolting her, making her jump. “Good. You are so much better than how you act, it pisses me off and you’re going to damn well be better or so help me we’ll be spending the next nights in supplementary therapy sessions.”
Jessica just nodded, “You. Are. Afraid.” King declared.
Jessica bristled and glared. Her face went red with anger, and she nearly shouted at King all over again. King waited, looking at her expectantly. He was waiting for her to blow up. She kept her mouth shut; he wouldn’t get the satisfaction.
“You are afraid. You are terrified. And I know exactly what it is you are afraid of.” King continued, “It’s the same as myself if you can believe it. I am just as afraid of the exact same thing, for very similar reasons as you. Unlike you, however, I had many many lifetimes to get over it. In many ways you are very much an infant, but you do not have the luxury of time that I had, so I will help you.”
The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.
This just brought up questions, ignoring King calling her a baby, Jessica opened her mouth to ask but King stopped her with a look. “Save your questions. They have answers but you won’t understand them.”
Jessica sighed, then focused back up, her anger slowly leaving her. She didn’t realize King could be afraid. He was a king wasn’t he? King chucked at her thoughts, “Please, everyone is afraid every day of their lives, from kings like myself to peasants like Maddie and her minions.”
Jessica smirked at hearing Maddie being called a peasant. She’d have to use that one day.
“No, people don’t stop being afraid, they just get used to it, and act in spite of their fear. That is what you have to learn to do. You’re too old with a life far too short to let fear control you.” King looked into Jessica’s eyes. Jessica tried for her best defiant stare.
“Fine,” King said, “Let’s try this a different way.”
Suddenly Jessica was in front of half a chess board. She looked at King, “Since when could you do this?”
King smiles, “Not relevant, please start playing.” She looked at the board. It was really a full board, but only the white pieces were present. She sighed, and pushed a pawn forward.
“Go on,” King urged. Jessica rolled her eyes and pushed another pawn, then moved a bishop.
“Checkmate” King said, and suddenly the black pieces appeared and it was checkmate.
Jessica looked up, “The fuck was that?”
“You tell me,’ King answered. He waited a beat, then waved his claw. “Try again.”
The board was as before, only white pieces. “Where’s black?”
“Who?” King asked innocently.
“The black pieces, where are they?”
King looked at her curiously, “What black pieces? I don’t see any black pieces.”
Jessica narrowed her eyes and looked at the board. Chess was a perfect game, full information given to both sides. Except she had no idea where Black was. She moved a pawn, then a knight to block the scholar’s mate, then moved a second pawn. Then a bishop.
“Checkmate” Once again Black’s pieces appeared and Jessica had lost.
“Seriously, what’s the point? If I can’t see your pieces how the fuck am I supposed to play?”
King just stared silently. Jessica looked back to find the board reset. King was clearly trying to help, but this was so utterly pointless. She tipped over the king.
“Why did you give up?” He asked in a knowing voice. He was trying to teach her something.
Jessica sighed, “I can’t win.”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t see your pieces, if I can’t see them I can’t fight back!”
King brought his claws together in a sharp clap. The board disappears. “Exactly right. If you can’t see your enemy, or worse yet purposefully ignore him, then he runs rampant in both your mind and in your life. Make no mistake, fear is necessary, but it is still an enemy. A dangerous one at that. You deal with your fear by turning it into anger and as a child that is perfectly acceptable. You were not ready to face your fear then, but you are now. So before we stop for the night, you are going to openly admit that you are afraid. To me, and to yourself.”
Jessica just sat there, rolling those thoughts over. “I don’t want to be afraid. I’m better than that.”
“Wrong. You are not too good or too strong to feel fear, no one is. But you are better than this, rather than denying the obvious and letting fear rule you.” King leaned down, “I had thought that taking a more hands off approach would be best for you, but I merely allowed you to become set in your ways. I failed you, and my obligations to you. For that I apologize.”
Jessica scoffed, “So this is what? You being my personal life coach? Because with all due respect fuck that. What the hell do you know about what I’ve been through?” She regretted the words the moment they left her mouth.
“Everything, because I was there, and I will always be there, for you. I have duties because of that, and I failed them. I failed you. No more. I am here Jessica. I am here for you. I should have been a more active part in it, but-” King stopped, and chuckled, “I was afraid of making you hate me, by coming off too strong. That was selfish.”
Jessica just listened to this whole spiel, she wasn’t sure she believed a word of it. Unfortunately, what he said was true, he would always be there, in her head. It was a permanent thing for her and she couldn’t get rid of him. She didn’t like how this was going. She hated feeling like this and it made it so fucking hard to think things through.
“So I just say that I’m afraid and we can be done with this?”
King shook his head, “No, you have to admit it.”
Jessica groaned, hands clawing at her hair in frustration. What does that mean? Why the fucking riddles all the time. Whatever, This is easy. Two words. Two… words. She felt her heart race, and all of a sudden King looked massive. His fangs peeking out between his lips, claws that glinted in her light, eyes that bore into her like- CLAP
Jessica jumped, and King nodded, “You are safe, this is a safe place.”
“I know that,” Jessica snapped. She closed her eyes and tried again. “I’m-”
The words caught in her throat. She felt weak, ashamed. She was better than this, She was stronger than this. Her heart was racing again, her anger tried to flare up but this time she pushed it away. There was nothing to be angry at. No one was after her, she was safe. She can say to fucking words. So why was she crying?
She rubbed her eyes, pissed off. King simply stood by, waiting. The next long while was spent like this, tears were shed, much to Jessica’s shame. King… he was kind, but firm. She hated it, every second. It was humiliating, and she was glad no one could see it. She imagined the field day Maddie would have if she saw her like this. Sobbing over two little words. Pathetic.
“I’m scared. I’m so scared of what he’ll say. Why do I even care? He’s some dude I barely know.” Jessica spewed out in a rush. King could only shake his head.
“How could you not be? You're making yourself vulnerable to him. That is objectively terrifying, and you are no less of a person for it.” His words soothed her. “I think that’s enough for tonight,”
Jessica nodded, she just wanted to sleep.
“I don’t know if this will mean anything to you, but I’m proud of you Jessica. That took a lot of strength to do, and you did. That’s not nothing.” With a wave Jessica slept.
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
Michael was being weird today. He waved this morning, but when Jessica tried to talk after first period he didn’t so much as look at her. Rude. Jessica shook her head, he probably hadn’t seen her. It happens. It’s not a big deal. It scared her. Fuck, that was hard to admit. Last night sucked. Jessica took a deep breath, and tried to reason her fear away. Afterall, if he says no it’s not like it will change anything. She’ll just do what she always planned to do for the party. Sit in a corner and read. Yeah, Michael probably already has a new book for her or something.
They watched a nature documentary for Geography and afterwards, Jessica walked towards Michael. He saw her, looked her dead in the eyes. He got up, a weird look on his face, and tried to leave.
“Seriously? What’s with you today,” She asked as she caught up.
Michael shrugged, “Nothing. You finished Smuggler’s Love?”
Jessica tried to meet his eyes, but he looked away. Definitely weird.
“Yeah, it was just as bad as you said, like what the hell was the point.” The words were bland feeling, without emotion. Michael chuckled nervously. Was he hiding something?
Jessica pushed her thoughts aside. Ok, he’s probably having an off day or something. Just focus. You’re scared, that’s ok. Just do it anyway.
“So, about the solstice party. I was wondering if you wanted to go together?” She asked, the words somehow managed to sound coherent. Michael’s eyes went wide.
“W-what?”
Jessica tried for a smile, “Yeah, I mean. I know we don’t know each other that well but I figured it would be a bit more fun if we went together. Maybe dance a bit, talk about books and stuff. Even if it is just reading in a corner, I’d like to think it would be a little less awkward if it was both of us.”
Jessica had to forcibly stop herself from rambling. She flexed her fingers nervously and shifted her weight. Just say it quickly, please. Argh this is so uncomfortable. Michael just stared at her for a long moment. Then he covered his face with his hand.
“I already accepted another invite. Sorry. That sounds fun.” Michael replied, at least he looks just as uncomfortable. Jessica still flushed with embarrassment.
“Oh, that’s fine. Ummm. thanks. Bye.” She turned to leave. But Michael had something else to say.
“Look, It’s Maddie. She invited me. I know you two don’t like each other so… could you give me space. I don’t want to upset her, ya know.” He had his own smile now, it looked so natural in a goofy ass way. She saw it for just a moment as she spun on him and spat fire.
“What? Seriously? The fuck Michael? Why in the world would you accept anything from that two faced bitch?”
Michael took a step back, “Relax. Whatever you guys have is none of my business. I’d just appreciate it if you didn’t ruin this for me.”
“Ruin what? What could you possibly see in her? You know what? I don’t care, just know she’ll throw you out the moment you don’t serve whatever purpose she wants you to serve.” She stuck a finger in his face, “I warned you, remember that!”
Michael’s face darkened. “Fuck off, she’s only like that with you because you’re bound. It’s not as if I owe you anything. We barely even know each other. We talk about fucking books! She’s the prettiest girl we know, and I like her. So, leave me alone for a bit, yeah?”
Jessica didn’t bother saying anything, she just turned and stomped off. Idiot! Why do you even care? So what? Fuck! Then it hit her, Maddie. She asked Michael out on purpose to get at her! That BITCH! Jessica raged and fumed throughout her history class. Maddie would just drop him the moment the solstice hit. Then she’d see how much of a shot he really had. Asshole!
She sat silently in lunch, refusing to even look at Maddie, trying to keep a calm face. She refused to give her the satisfaction of knowing she had upset her. Fuck her. She would enjoy that fucking party all by her fucking self. Fuck her. Jessica finished eating, slid her tray aside and lay her head in her arms.
“I heard you talked to Michael earlier. You should back off. He’s mine now.”
For the love of God, shut up. Jessica pulled her head up and gave her a flat look. “What?”
“Michael, don’t talk to him.” Maddie said, looking smug.
Jessica kept her face as calm as she could, “You don’t tell me who I talk to you self-important whore. What happened to Jacob anyway?”
Maddie bristled, “I’ve asked him to the solstice, so back off him. He already knows I wont tolerate him speaking to you so don’t even bother trying with that stupid little book club of yours.” Brushing right past the topic of her apparently ex-boyfriend.
Jessica glared, “Sure, fine. Whatever.”
Maddie scoffed, “Don’t act like you don’t care, I know full well that he’s the only moron in this school who even looks at you. He’s mine now.”
Jessica tried, she really tried. She tried not to let her jabs get to her but… She was so sick of her shit. The pranks, the catcalling, now Michael. All of this to get to her, “What is fucking wrong with you! What did I ever do to you? You re such a petty vindictive-”
A teacher, one she didn’t have, clamped an arm on her shoulder. “Students in detention are to be silent! That’s another day added, do NOT make me come here again. Either of you.”
Maddie smiled, “Yes Ms Tellyson.”
Jessica glared at her stupid smug smile. Fuck her. Fuck this school, fuck everything! She went back to resting her head in her arms, still fuming. She couldn’t wait for the holidays. Two weeks of not seeing any of these assholes would be actual fucking heaven. Then in a few months she’d be eighteen and she could get her own place, a job, her dad. Just a few more months. Easy.