Chapter 10

Someone was screaming. Jolted out of my warm, fuzzy dream, I thrashed for a second in all the blankets I had wrapped around myself, frantically trying to free myself. Feet pounded back and forth, and I heard doors opening and slamming as voices shouted. I froze half way out of the blankets. Were we under attack? Suddenly, my mind flashed to Gimlet’s face as we were driving away. What would he have done once I was whisked out of his grasp? Just stick around New Castle? No. No one ever stole anything from Gimlet without earning his wrath. I shivered and rubbed my shoulders. He had returned to the Roadies and convinced them to attack. The whole tribe had descended on New Castle, and now they were here to punish me!

Suddenly, the skirting around the bottom of the bed was lifted, and Miss Crane’s face appeared. I shrunk back and pulled the covers around my head.

“I should have known,” she sighed. “Call off the alarm, and for heaven’s sake, someone pick Brissi up and give her smelling salts. The child is just under the bed!”

A second later Pilosa’s anxious face replaced Miss Crane’s.

“Loris? Sweety? What are you doing under your bed, hon? You’re supposed to sleep in it.”

“Maybe savages don’t have beds,” I heard someone mutter in the room before Pilosa angrily hushed them.

She turned back to me and held her hand out, “Come on Loris. It’s time to get dressed and start your day!”

I shook my head adamantly, “They’ve found Lorus! They’ve come to take her away!”

“What?” Pilosa’s face was shocked and worried. “Who deary?”

“Jeter has a broomstick,” I recognized the voice now as that of Uncle Cebis. “Why don’t you just scoot it around under there and coax it out.”

“Cebis! Say another word, and I’ll use that broom stick on you!” Pilosa snapped. “Can’t you see something’s frightened her?”

“Pish posh. It’s just a little unfamiliar, like a stray fox,” Uncle Cebis complained. “Leave it under there. It’ll come out when it’s hungry. You have affairs to attend to.”

Pilosa looked back at me, “I hardly think starting breakfast qualifies as an ‘affair’. Go eat already if you’re so hungry. Goodness knows you get grumpy when your blood sugar is low. I’ll be down in a bit.”

Uncle Cebis didn’t seem inclined to argue and left. After a few moments so did the rest of the pairs of feet I saw shuffling about the room. Quiet again, I took the opportunity to curl back up in my blankets and go back to sleep.

Some time later I became aware of more feet, but I dismissed them as Pilosa or Miss Crane checking up on me again and closed my eyes. A second later a wave of frigid ice water engulfed me and soaked into the blankets! Stars it was cold! I cried and squirmed to free myself from the soaking blankets just as another pail full of ice water gushed under the bed smacking me full in the face. Coughing and sputtering I slithered out from under the bed.

“Ah ha!”

Two boney fingers immediately latched on to my right ear, pinching hard.

“My truant pupil emerges at last!”

I lashed out, sputtering and trying to get hair and water out of my face, but the fingers just pinched harder, making me yell.

“Miss Shrike!” Miss Crane said sharply, “I hardly think this was the coaxing Lady Pilosa had in mind.”

The pinching fingers let go, and I stumbled across the room. Once my eyes were cleared, I looked for a place to hide. Miss Crane and another woman dressed head to toe in a deep burgundy, the Shrike I assumed, stood next to the bed. The Shrike was younger than Miss Crane, but she had just as severe an air about her thin countenance. Her brunette hair was pulled back into a tight bun that just made her face look even more angular. She stood, arms crossed, one hand holding a bucket, one eyebrow arched, partially smiling as she watched me back into a corner.

“Indeed. My cures rarely work just the way my patients think,” she demurred, slightly inclining her head. “I am Alchemist Lithium Shrike, your tutor for this morning. Loris, are you going to ready up on your own, or do I need to powder you and dress you like a doll? You’re already an hour late to our lesson.”

I hissed and made a feint for the door.

“Lorus already took all the lessons!”

Despite her sweeping skirts, the Shrike was surprisingly fast. She blocked my escape, hand shooting out to grab me again. I deflected it and took a swing, much to Miss Crane’s horrified exclamation, then dove for the bed. I almost made it, but the Shrike latched on to my ankle and yanked me out again. She had a grip like iron! Writhing like a snake, I curled back, trying to bite her prissy, gloved hands. She’d been waiting for me. Her other hand opened up, and she puffed a white powder right into my face.

Immediately, my muscles gave up, and I flopped backwards, twitching against the side of the bed while the Shrike and Miss Crane stood and clucked disapprovingly above me.

“I see what you mean, Irinia,” the Shrike shook her head. “Excellent reflexes and some partial strategic ability, but losing some of her toes has affected her balance and reaction time. That’s something you should have Fox look at later.”

She turned her focus back to me, “Lesson one for taking on an Alchemist, young Loris. If you’re going close quarters, always wear a gas mask.”

The Shrike turned away and headed to the door, “I’ll send Frawilde and Brissi to help make her ready, Irinia. I’ll be waiting in the conservatory.”

She paused and seemed to consider, “Actually, Loris, we’ll make that lesson two. Lesson one should be if you’re taking on an Alchemist, always be early. See you in ten.”

In my current state, I really couldn’t do much more than flop around as the attendants, Frawilde and Brissi, quickly selected a white shirt and brown skirt and stockings for me. I was more than a little horrified when Brissi held up a leather corset. Unfortunately, I couldn’t manage much more than a gurgle of protest. Miss Crane seemed to understand though and shook her head.

“Better start with the waister, ladies. She’s still young, and her bones may not be done growing yet.”

So instead, just my guts were squeezed against my spine by some sort of a lace up belt. I could feel sensation coming back just about the time they finished buttoning up my shoes. I considered for a moment making for under the bed again, but when Miss Crane pointed out that Shrike’s Alchemist bag carried quite the variety of chemical coercions and nasty tricks, I thought I might as well play along for now.

The conservatory, I found, was the strange glass room with the jungle inside of it that I’d seen the night before. I still wasn’t comfortable in all the layers. The shoes they’d squeezed my feet into had a devious little rise on the heel. I’d already had enough trouble relearning to navigate around my missing toes, and now these dratted shoes were throwing me off again. The attendants left me to make my way to the center of the indoor forest, instructing me just to stay on the path until I reached the middle. The second they were out of sight, I plopped down on a rock and pried the shoes off. I sighed in relief as soon as my feet were free and decided to discard the socks too.

“I might have something in my kit for that if it’s starting to rub.”

I whirled around, but there was only greenery that I could see. Suspiciously, I crept over to a particularly large plant that resembled a fern but had bright red spots all over it.

“Not that one, deary, that tends to make you hallucinate a bit if you get it in your eyes. The prickly one with the golden points. Over next to the coxydilias umbrosia though why they decided to plant those next to each other, I’ll never understand.”

I finally located the Shrike. She was above me in something that looked like an elm tree, scraping a bit of moss off into a jar. How had she gotten up there in those skirts?! She had on goggles and an odd black contraption over her face that looked like the snout of a badger mashed with that of a pig. It was held on with straps and buckles, giving her quite the alien appearance. I decided it was an improvement on her normal face. She finished her scraping, screwed a lid on the jar, then hopped out of the tree, her skirts billowing around her like a bell flower. I wondered if she actually hovered a few seconds before touching down lightly before me and pulling the mask up.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

“A lovely specimen of elipticum sporophyta right before it blooms. Quite the gem. At times you Wardensan families don’t even know what you’ve got under your noses,” she smiled and walked over to a prickly plant then took out a pair of shears and carefully cut away a stalk. I pulled my feet up as she broke it in half with a wet sound and began squeezing the ends.

“Now, now, it’s just common aloe. It’ll make what’s left of your feet a little more comfortable.”

I frowned and pointed to the mask now hanging under her chin. What was that strange thing for? Was she trying to scare a tree?

“I’m pretty sure you have more words in you than you’re using,“ Shrike arched an eyebrow.“ Use them.”

I huffed and pointed again, “Lorus wants to know why you wear a mask for the tree.”

“Better,” she cocked her head, “but the correct form is I want to know. You’re not three anymore. Do better. Try again.”

Now I knew she was toying with me. I turned my back on her and busied myself picking lint and scabs on my feet.

She laughed, “Oh ho! Prickled someone, is that it? Ask me correctly, and I’ll tell you about more than my anti-pollanate respirator.”

“Lorus has never been an ‘I’,” I grumbled. “Only prideful people say I, I, I.”

Shrike nodded, “Exactly. I have a great deal of pride as a Castelian. As should you. There is no reason to lie and hide it under false modesty. You better get used to it. You’re going to be an ‘I’ for quite a long time now.”

That had to be the most confusing argument I’d ever heard. But she did have a point. I had noticed that everyone in New Castle used ‘I’ when referring to themselves. Even the cog scrubbing the floors after Shrike dumped water all over the place grumbled, “I wish ‘ed at least used some o’ that alchemy juice to dry it up faster so I ‘udn’t have so much to tidy!” If I was going to blend in, I would have to learn to sound more like them. I glared over my shoulder at Shrike.

“I think your mask is dumb. And so is your face!”

She nodded and stuck her thumb out. I took this to be some sort of an insult, so I stuck my thumb up at her too.

“Well, Loris, I am glad to hear both that you have grasped the proper use of ‘I’ and that you are so certain that you ‘think’. Your thoughts in particular are irrelevant and ignorant, but that’s why I’m here, I suppose. This,” she said, touching the mask then pulling it back on to her face, “is an anti-pollinate respirator, standard model for collecting flora samples that could be toxic if aspirated.”

I blinked, “What?”

“If you breathe it in you die, sort of like the powered Oleander’s Kiss I used on you earlier.”

“What?!”

Shrike laughed, “Oh that won’t actually kill you.” She paused and considered. “At least I don’t think that dose will, but you haven’t been exposed to it very much I imagine, so…how are all your limbs and motor functions feeling?”

Shaking a little bit I wiggled my toes, finger, and nose. Everything seemed operational. I looked anxiously back at Shrike, who had her hand over her mouth. She was laughing at me again.

“See!” she said gleefully. “If you’d had this ‘silly mask’ when I powdered you, you wouldn’t have fallen over like a limp sock puppet!”

“But you were using it on a tree! That’s-“ I paused in the middle of my protestation. Shrike was giving me that look again, just waiting to laugh at me.

“That’s what? Stupid? Silly? Illogical?”

I kept my mouth shut and waited.

“Ever since the Big Sleep, nature has gone back to being dangerous and unknown to mankind,” she crouched down next to my feet which I had unknowingly put back on the ground. She squeezed some goo from the plant she’d cut. It was quite cold. “There are some plants that have continued to be helpful, thank goodness, but others have developed new weapons of fighting back. I’m not sure we can blame them after all our grancestors so blithely did to them. Go ahead and rub that in. See if the irritation doesn’t go away.”

I did as she said and waited for her to continue.

“Thanks to the Arcadians, simple principles that our grancestors built their whole world upon no longer operate the same way. Plants that we had cultivated, like maize and wheat, turned toxic due to the very concoctions early alchemists, scientists they were called, used to try to make them stronger. Animals that had been domestic for millennia suddenly died off, leaving only a few feral survivors. Simple physical reactions, like electricity, were lost or became dangerous, such as trying to start a fire.”

“Who are the Arcadians?”

“Who were the Arcadians,” Shrike paused and gave it more thought. “They are the ones we’ve decided to blame the Big Sleep on I suppose. In a way they’re both the heroes and the villains and the end of our grancestors. On the one hand, it is because of their intervention, the Arc, the project was called, that any of humanity was able to survive the Hundred Year Winter, but no one denies that something they did changed the dynamics of earth’s atmosphere. Now only the simplest of technologies work, or as we are taught in Cog School, “Push, pull, turn, burn- those are the laws that all cogs learn.” There must be a price for every achievement, an equal trade. The Arcadians accomplished great feats, but in return we now live in a world where even lighting your stove fire to boil a beaker is a dangerous thing.”

“But how did they do that? And what was it like before the Arcadians?”

The Shrike smiled, “Well, now. Aren’t we full of questions? This is good, I suppose, since you’ve only got thirty days to try to make Wardensan. I wonder how they will proceed with the testing?”

“Testing?” that sounded ominous.

“Of course,” she nodded. “The Forsythe family may claim you as its own, but not all those born of a Warden’s family become Wardens or even Wardensans. Everyone has to earn their ribbons. This is not some outdated system of progenitorship. No nepo-babies here, thank you. You must earn your place in New Castle by merit. See why it’s so important to show up to lessons on time? And how are your feet now by the way?”

I swallowed, trying to keep up with the new information. Of course. How could I have thought disappearing into a new city would be so easy? There was no way a society like this would just want any wild waif wandering into their city and making herself at home. I would have to prove myself. It all went back to the Captain’s question. What could I really bring to New Castle?

“Mm, feet feel better. H-how does Lourus-how do I prove that I deserve to stay in New Castle? What happens if I don’t pass the test?”

“Deserve to stay in New Castle? Well, I’m not sure deserving is so much the question as contribution. You see advancement only happens through refining the product. That’s why Alchemy is really the true science, despite its many dangers. A human by themselves may be a humble concoction, but put through life’s experiences and combined with other like-minded individuals, society blossoms and continues to turn out ever more contributing, refined individuals. That’s why Wardens and Wardensans are so important. They are in charge of keeping all of New Castle’s history, laws, and traditions. They assure forward progress by patronizing the right creators and innovators, and they inspire all those around them to be just a little bit better than they were before. So what do you think, Loris, do you feel you could be inspirational?”

I just stared at my hands in dismay until I felt a hand on my shoulder. Even though her face was serious, Shrike’s eyes still smiled.

“Fret not, young Loris. Thirty days is enough time to lay down strong beer and good cheese. Either way, you will not be turned out of the city. You might just find your purpose humbler than your origins,” she gave me another thumbs up, which I quickly returned in confusion. What was this gesture then? “Well, I think that’s enough alchemy for one day.”

I shook my head, “Lorus still has much- I still have much more I need to ask! What is the test? Does everyone take it? What do Lorus have to do?”

“Oh don’t worry dear. Your lessons for today aren’t over by any means,” she was now staring past me, all smiles gone, a stern frown sliding into place. “It’s just our time together is done. I’ll be back later.”

The Shrike stiffened as a tall, red-headed gentleman with pointed chin-whiskers came strolling up to us, swinging a cane and whistling a jaunty tune. He wore a navy blue vest and silver suit and seemed to glide as he walked.

“Hello there, Lithi. Indoctrinating another one I see,“ he offered his hand as Shrike rolled her eyes and gathered her bag. “Greetings there little one, I’m-“

“An unapologetic gearhead and insufferable bore!” Shrike snapped. “Loris, please take this man’s instruction with a grain of salt. Thaumaturges are somewhat notorious for being myopic and self-focused.”

“Really, Lithium?” he drawled dryly. “I’d always heard Alchemists were so hyperopic they couldn’t see the sidewalk in front of them, too busy staring at stars to miss stepping in the well. The lot of them are usually so pickled on their own home made brews they imagine they’ve solved the Arcadian’s gift.” He turned back to me and tipped his hat. “Thaumaturge Averly Fox, a pleasure.”

Shrike huffed, “Indeed, Mr. Fox, not that I haven’t seen you imbibing substantial quantities of such brews yourself. And how is that plan for air travel coming along?”

Mr. Fox made a face, “Low blow, Lithi.”

“Miss Shrike, if you please,” she smirked, “On that, how are your newbs doing?”

“Six out of ten at least passed their prelims, unlike someone else’s frosh. And on the topic of dirty cracks, is Mr. Baughtry coming back for a second term?”

“Indeed! Mr. Fox, your skills of observation are only surpassed by your statement of the obvious!” Shrike shook her skirts and put her nose in the air. “Loris, make sure you tend to your studies. Good day to the both of you!” And in a swirl, Miss Shrike was away, leaving myself and Mr. Fox to stare after her.