During everything the day the metal from the other world had tried to take over, but most of all when she had been inside that false school made entirely of magick, Molly wanted her family and friends from her other life to be with her. She shivered, remembering how she had carried that feeling on her shoulders when the metal had slinked toward them and then when it had started climbing the walls. The feeling had grown even heavier when the temporary school built around them broke, and she could tell the barrier could barely hold. Then that feeling became unbearable when the giant sheet of metal had fallen, almost crushing them to death.

She could still feel hands on the back of her head as students grabbed whoever they could, and she did the same once they had noticed that the dirt at their feet was falling away. She had thought at first that she was imagining it, but then she had seen the half-human creature that was the boy who had been digging around in the dirt under them, loosening it, making the hole.

They had all taken the opportunity to use that hole to save themselves just as the hot steam press layered on top of them. Molly thought it wouldn’t have worked, but somehow, some other kind of barrier spell lit up, sealing them inside the hole. The heat had then faded, besides the breath of the warm earth, then the metal had been lifted.

Later, they discovered that the boy who had saved them had been Derrin. That he had multiple transformation drinks on him and had taken one that turned him into part mole. He wouldn’t say why he had chosen that one or how he had learned to make all those transformation spells. But everyone was thankful for him, especially Molly.

But after all of that, after they had been saved, after she had watched the teachers take the metal that clung onto the magickal shield they had made and try to destroy the school with Namu and Mr. Vero inside it to disintegrate it all, she had found that the feeling she had before of wanting her old family and friends had faded just like the heat. She still wanted to see them at some point, but she didn’t yearn for their presence because she knew they wouldn’t even know who she was anymore.

No one in that old life would recognize the new her.

She fell into that new self now as she fell asleep in her cool, safe bed.

But then that old self, her old self, took her over the moment she arrived back on the bright purple ice.

“No, no, no, no!” She scrambled around on hands and knees, the ice slick and wet beneath the palms of her hands.

Why was she here? What was trying to take her over?

She thought that this wouldn’t happen again. She thought that she would be safe at least for tonight. That she could settle into her new self and not be dragged back here and forced to lose herself. The new self she had just found and still wanted to make strong.

The ice didn’t crack this time. It completely broke through, plunging her into the cold water. It was its own freezing cocoon of ice, the opposite of the metal, but still paralyzing. It was a prison that would trap her inside it until it stripped her of all she had.

Until she couldn’t breathe.

The sinking feeling she felt was not only in her gut. It was the sinking of the world around her as she lost herself to the dark depths of the water that would take her down below.

So that someone else could take over. So that someone else could be her.

It enraged her now because she had been so close to finally finding herself.

Rage burned in her veins and her lungs as her body worked for oxygen. Or was it anger that was creating this heat? Could it be the metal that she had faced the last few days? The metal that had helped save her the last time she was here, even though every other moment with the metal had been terrifying. The metal that had swaddled her and starved her almost to death. The metal that had almost crushed her. The fog of her brain was overtaking her now, reliving those moments, making her tremble inside.

She knew those moments were not as terrifying as this. Not as terrifying as now.

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But still, all of those little memories in her head, being trapped, being almost crushed to death, drowning. Why did she have to go through all of them? Why did she have to relive them? Why did she have them floating around in her brain? How was it fair that she would be tortured her whole life with those feelings and images?

Those scattered moments were taking control and overtaking her now. The screaming, the ducking down, the burning metal overhead was laying a shadow over them all. The creatures, the crawling, the digging, the band around her waist almost cutting her in half. Those creatures in her hall, in her room, plucking at her insides. All the spirits grabbing her arms, her legs, anything they could reach.

How was it fair? How was it right? How was it that when she was about to be lost to this world, this was what the world wanted her to relive as some sick joke? As a reminder that maybe her trauma was all she was. Was all she had.

The bottoms of her feet hit something solid.

Was this her end? The place she had never reached before? Was this where she was going to live forever? In the memories of her horrible past.

The solid surface beneath her was warm. But suddenly, she was rising. The water was being pushed away. It was being pushed out from all around her.

She didn’t know what was happening, but when whatever was on her feet started burning, she had an idea.

And when she broke the surface, resurfacing out of the giant hole that had driven her deep, she saw she was right.

All around her was metal. The entire body of water was now the burning hot metal of her nightmares, taking over everything. If she wanted to, she could walk the expanse of it and see what was on the other side of the lake or ocean that had always tried to suck her deep.

But she couldn’t because she woke up in her bed with a thick hand on her arm that was not her own and sweet-smelling shampoo stimulating the insides of her nose that made her sick inside.

Trennly was staring at her in shock, his green eyes full of disbelief and his violet mohawk longer than the last time she had seen him.

He let go and took a step back. His chest came up to the top side of her bed. He then pulled something out of his pocket. A vial. And he went to take a drink.

But no, she was not about to lose him now.

She grabbed his thick arm and did a glue spell on her own hand, mending her skin with his just as he drank the contents of the vial and turned to mist. But he was stuck, left to float there around her arm. He couldn’t go anywhere. Molly grabbed her phone from the other side of her bed off her dresser and made a call.

“Namu! Get Mr. Vero to my room now!” Then she hung up. Mr. Vero was right down her hall. He should be here right away.

It was then that Molly tugged and let the magic fall all around them, bringing Trennly back down to his physical form.

He landed with a thump on the ground, almost dragging her out of her bed.

“You’ve been doing this to me!” she yelled down at him.

He didn’t look sorry. Anger stretched a sneer across his face. He didn’t say a thing.

Her door flew open. Apparently, it had already been open like the other nights when she had almost been taken over. She saw a spirit sprite leave. Was that how he had been getting in?

“Molly! What is—”

Mr. Vero immediately did a spell to paralyze Trennly whose snarl was fixed as Molly unglued her hand.

***

It didn’t take long for them to take Trennly away. More teachers came in to take him into another room. They told her that authorities were going to arrive. They also said that they had contacted Kren and that he would be at the school in the morning. Molly was so relieved she could cry. She had caught her own over-taker and would see Kren again, the mini-troll she had somehow grown attached to and had been dying to talk to. She knew he would understand and accept this new her in this life. She wanted him to be a true friend and someone she could talk to because he was one of the only people she had met who had her best interest at heart. She was thankful he had placed her here.

She still couldn’t believe that she had done it. She had finally learned how to protect herself. She had kept herself from drowning in that world, even though someone was trying to hold her under. Somehow going into that world beyond the door had granted her the ability to do so. But in a way it wasn’t enough.

She was happy she had a way to save herself. Happy she knew now that she didn’t have to die if she ever returned to that place. Now she could start building on her new self and never officially lose herself. But she did not like how she had to do it.

She shouldn’t have to relive being petrified and almost being killed in order to survive. There had to be more to it than that. She should not have to be forced to go through a traumatic episode every time in order to live.

She would find another way.

A part of her wanted to return to her old life, but she would stay. She would visit her old home soon since she could protect herself now. She would show them her new self, her unforgiving self after she had grown more. The self that maybe she was always supposed to be. And she would tell them about this school and about her magick. But she would tell them that she would have to stay here a while longer. She needed to find a better way to survive. A better way to save herself that didn’t involve hurting herself all over again.

She was beginning to love herself too much to do that.

There was another knock on the door after all the adults had left. She smiled when she saw it was Ova and then burst into tears when her friend took her into her arms.

She was happy that she had at least someone. That she had someone to at least talk to through the night.