“It’d be nice if I wasn’t here right now,” was the main though rattling through Jack’s head as he tromped through the woods behind his two friends. Well, friends would be a bit generous; The taller of the two was Thomas, a tall, athletic, charismatic fellow, who Jack had known just about his entire life. Thomas was pretty much the only friend Jack had, and he knew it. In addition, for som reason it always seemed to Jack that everything centered around Thomas: it always felt like just before he walked in the room everyone in it had been talking about him and that’s not all, even the world around him seemed to bend to his will: deers drank from his palm, teachers let him get away with anything, no football game could be lost as long as Thomas had the ball.
Life was not so for Jack, who often felt like a side character in his own life. I mean look, his best friend is getting described before he is in his own story! “Shut up narrator.” thought Jack, sorry bud.
To the left of Thomas was a girl, who to just about most people would be the girl of their dreams. She was absolutely breathtaking with a smile that could put you on your ass, and was practically famous in their town for being just about the kindest human being of all time. Most guys would be head over heels for her, except jack for some strange reason, maybe he’s gay. I’m not gay! Jack thought self consciously, Not that there’s anything wrong with that of course! Just if you knew her like I know her you’d change your mind. Oh yes, you know more than me, the omniscient narrator. Sure… Anyways, Jack was slowly but surely falling behind, the weight of his back pack, which seemed to be suspiciously heavier than his fellow campers, was bearing down on his scrawny frame, straps digging into his shoulders.
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“Hold on guys” Jack panted “I need a breather.” “Of course you do,” Thomas sneered, “We’re almost to the waterfalls and it’s getting late, I don’t want to miss the light show.” The aforementioned light show, was a meteor shower the local news had announced would light up the night over the waterfall outside of town, prompting many couples to make the trek, which then prompted Thomas’ parents to force Jack along with them, as what should we say, a reminder on the consequences of unsafe sex?
“I need a breather asshole” Jack panted, as he collapsed in a pile of camping gear. “Fine,” Thomas muttered, “Lisa, you stay with him, I’m going to go get us some prime real estate at the falls.” “Okay sweetie!” Lisa beamed, “I’ll help Jackie get there, I wouldn’t want him to get lost!” “That’s a bit condescending, don’t you think?” Jack said from the ground. “I could easily find my way…” but Thomas was already gone.
“Nice going fatass.” Lisa growled at him, “First of all that insult makes zero sense, and second I don’t even want to be here, so please spare me the two faced charade” Jack bit back.
“Whatever, I’m going to the bathroom, by the time I’m back you better not look like you're on the verge of passing out anymore” called Lisa over her shoulder as she walked behind some bushes.
Suddenly, there was light, “Fucking aye” Jack thought awaking. “Who the fuck is kicking me in the side?” “Get up asshole, I think we’re on drugs” Lisa yelled in his ear. Jack got up and looked around, surrounding them were towering green spires. “I definitely didn’t take any drugs” said Jack. “Well what else could this be!” Proclaimed Lisa.
Suddenly a low rumble could be heard from behind them. “Get behind me!” Shouted Jack. “Huh?” Lisa looked at Jack, “What do you think you could possibly save me from in whatever crazy ass trip this is.”
Suddenly the spires gave way to the hulking form of a hulking grasshopper, which after seeing the pair gave an indignant grunt and began to charge. “I’m starting to believe this is not drugs” Lisa whispers.