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Listening to her talk
When she realized

When she realized

Lucy’s POV

Everything has been tense lately

And I am the one making it tense

I avoid talking to those two

They aren’t really affected by it now that Miles have a girlfriend and Andy has some kind of new season coming up

It’s really like that time of my life

I want to make it right somehow

Let’s see

Obviously continuing like this won’t really solve anything

They both don’t seem to notice it so waiting for them to talk to me won’t really result to anything

Yeah that’s right

If they won’t talk to me then I will talk to them

I am the one who is avoiding those two

They were always like this

They were never conversation starters

I went to the room

I found Miles using his mobile

“Hey where is Andy?”

“No idea,wait... he should be on the terrace

“Thanks”

I started climbing stairs

I am going to talk to him

He will have a topic to talk about

He will

I trust him

Then I will feel Comfortable

Yeah

As I drew near to the terrace I started hearing voices

Is he talking to someone

I saw him sitting on the very edge of the roof

“Hey, that’s dangerous!”

“Oh!” startled he turned around

“Hey”

“Did Miles tell you I will be here?”

“Yeah, who were you talking to”

“To my imaginary friend”

“What are you? 6?”

“Make fun of me all you want but that is the reason I can talk to you so fluently in English”

“That’s a dangerous spot you know”

“No, it isn’t.Go ahead”

I sat beside him

“I wanted to talk

“About what?”

“Anything, I just wanted to talk... to you”

I realized what I had just said

“I don’t mean it in a weird way”

“I believe you”

“...”

It was a nice view from here

Setting sun with a red sky and trees climbing the mountains

A light breeze ran beneath my ears and I turned to see Andy

He is staring in empty space

Just watching him, made me relaxed

I wonder why?

It can’t be

Oh!

I think it’s more than a crush

I think I like him

Now that I think about it

He was always like this

I always preferred talking to him over anyone

But I can’t possibly like him after I love being friends with him

Or I don’t like him but being friends with him

Ugh! This is so confusing

I shake my head in frustration

I notice something kept beside him

It was a small booklet

He saw me glancing at it

“That’s my book of thought”

“?”

“I use it to write my thoughts so I can use it in my essays”

He picked it up and gave it to me

I opened the page which was bookmarked with a red ribbon

‘ I wonder if I will look back in my memory to dig this moment from the bottom of the pit that is forever growing and wonder if I will ever wonder that how I use to wonder back then. That is a confusing part. I oppose the idea that confusion exists outside the borders of our mortal understanding. After all, at it’s very fundamental nature confusion is not knowing or rather confusion arises from not knowing. Something can arise from not knowing and can result or lead to the same thing. If I am ever confused I like to be true or seek help. The best method to extinguish confusion is to know, Know that you are confused, and accept it. At least now I can’t be confused about whether being confused or not’

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At this point, I stopped reading

This seemed like it was written for me

I was confused about whether I like him or not

I look at him

My thoughts escape through my mouth

“Did you write it for someone?”

“Yes”

A chill ran down my spine

Does he know?

“Who?”

“Myself, if I am ever confused in the future”

A sigh of relief escaped my mouth

“I don’t understand it “

“Yeah only some get it”

“ I used to write too, for the school newspaper”

“ Oh! Then why don’t you write some now? I think writing is the best way to express yourself”

“ Yeah you are right, I will try”

“Write it here, If it’s okay I want to read it” He picked up the diary and handed it to me

“Aren’t you using it”

“Nah, I have my laptop for that”

“Then why do you have a diary”

“Honestly I find it difficult to write it on a laptop, then you can erase your thoughts or rather hide it. But on paper lie your original thoughts and feeling.”

“You are more philosophical than I thought you were”

“I guess you can say that”

As I faced the sun again I found myself implying the lines on his dairy to practice

“The method to extinguish confusion is to know huh?”

“Yeah or so I believe”

Ok I don’t know if I should confess to him or not

It didn’t get me anywhere

Let’s look somewhere else

‘If I am ever confused I like to be true or seek help’

I can’t definitely be true

I can seek help though

“Hey, this might seem absurd but how do you tell if you like someone or not”

“Hey! Where did that come from! Do you have a secret crush on me?” He practically shouted

“Why in the world would I like you, I just asked if there was a more logical way of knowing it like you know a more philosophical way” I am this close to being exposed

“Well, I only love one woman that is Rika-chan so I don’t know a lot but I think it just feels good to be with the person you like”

“It wasn’t of any help”

“I will tell you a story, In ancient Greece, a party was held and one of the greatest Philosophers of all time was found drunk telling this tale: Once upon a time when Humans walked the Earth with four arms and four legs, they were too happy. Zeus, the god of thunder was jealous of them. He took his lightning blade and divided the humans into two parts: male and female. The philosopher said that love is a way to complete our soul and make us whole again as we once were”

“So you find yourself complete with the person you love”

“Yeah”

“That’s a beautiful way to think about it,” I said, smiling

“Well that’s what love is according to a drunken dude”

He started getting up

“Thanks”

“For what”

“Not telling”

“Hey don’t leave me hanging, wait up I am coming”

He truly helped me realize

That I like him after all

I will ask him to go out with me

I am sure if I promise to dress up as a maid he will do that

I lightly laugh at that thought

He sure has some weird fetish