He had a bronze mask on, so it was hard to tell his real expressions, but his voice was cold like ice.
“Feeling guilty is only worth it if you are strong enough. When you are on the bottom of the pyramid, all you are trying to do is to survive. All your doings and feelings are useless and meaningless. Save your dignity and empathy until the day you are a master cultivator.”
“So this is the kind of life you want?” I understand what he meant, but it was easier to say than to do.
Zen hesitated, “That’s none of your concerns. All you have to remember is to not mess around with the gang or the guards, if you want to survive this place.”
“Then what is your real purpose? I don’t believe it’s just for food and shelter.”
He walked toward me and looked down, and those blue eyes seemed to penetrate down my soul.
“You shouldn’t trust anyone. Sometimes not even yourself.”
Wow………Those words were too deep for me to comprehend at this point. He looked a few years older than me, but he sure lived longer. Time really gives you a deeper brain.
“So what are you going to do at the feast? They want to poison you.”
He backed away and stared at the candles. “Poison? Aren’t you an expert on this?”
How sarcastic!
I literally fed him one of the most poisonous things on the continent, which was the Spotty Boar’s pearl. He almost died because of that, and now it was surely a good timing to remind me of that.
“But…….that saved your life. It wasn’t like I poisoned you for fun.” I grumbled.
He grabbed a drumstick and stuck it in my mouth.
“Stop asking so many questions and eat up, or I will trash the food.”
The feel of meat inside my mouth was so delicious that I got hold of the drumstick, and started to chew on it robotically. I knew where the meat was from, but still couldn’t help but to chew on it. My body has been craving meat ever since I came here. Although I was surviving, surely not thriving. Without the proper diet, I was no more than a walking skeleton just like the others.
Finally I understood more of what he was saying earlier. He was cruel and cold, but so realistic. I couldn’t just die in the Underground. There was a lot I wanted to do and find out, especially the reasons for Grandpa Jin and Grandma Shas’ deaths.
The only way to reach the goal was to have a stronger body.
I found a million reasons to eat the food and lessen my guilt. On the table, there was one piece of bone, soon after another one, and then another one………
One bun, and then another……another……...
“Why not finish the last two drumsticks?” He asked. It was rare for him to be curious about anything.
I smiled, and wrapped them neatly in soft paper.
“They are for Rene. By the way, thanks for the food.”
He lowered his eyes and seemed to be in a thought.
“You know Rene, right?” I tugged the wrapped up food inside my pockets and made sure it was safe and sound.
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“A smart kid, just never come back here.”
“He knows.”
Zen seemed to be frustrated, “Are you going to rescue all the sick and disabled out there? Just like me and Rene? You will never get anywhere living with so much empathy.”
Sometimes he seemed to know a lot, but sometimes he was a plain jerk that pissed me off badly.
“I know what I am doing. Plus I am not here to argue with you. We have different perspectives and beliefs. I don’t think we will ever agree with each other anyways, so why waste the time to argue.”
There was a long and dead silence.
The cat came back again and lay on the bed. It surely did not look like a domestic cat, but a wild strange one with tippy ears and green eyes that glowed in the dark. Most of the animals resembled the ones on planet Earth, but not exactly the same.
The night passed by quicker than I thought, until it was finally midnight when things quieted down. There were still some drunken laughter occasionally, but as time went by, there was no more than night wind and bug noises.
The moon was bright and silvery like fish scales.
We walked fast, and avoided any insecure and suspicious shadows.
Zen led the way, so the trip back to the entrance wasn’t that bad. It was nice to have someone beside me and know what was going on. He knew all the good dark spots. My heart was not pounding like before, but actually felt like it was a normal walk on an occasional night. Time goes by when things go smoothly. It wasn’t long before we reached the entrance.
“How do we know if Bobbi is asleep?” I whispered.
Before I was in the front side of the entrance, so I could tell if Bobbi’s eyes blinked or not, but now we were facing the back of him.
Zen didn’t reply, but looked very concentrated. His left ear moved a little. It was always cool to see someone who can move their ears.
“By his breathing.” Zen said.
I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on his breathing, but heard nothing but the sounds of bugs. Bobbi was actually quite far away from us, so how in the world can Zen hear that?
Demons do have good eyesight and hearing, or was it just him?
“Almost there, let’s wait for a couple more minutes.”
While waiting for Bobbi to fall into a deep sleep, we both looked up to the moon. It was a perfectly round moon, so bright and charming. I wonder if it was the moon festival right now at home. Only then would the moon be this beautiful.
Except this continent was a completely different world.
“Iceberg, I am glad that I am still alive, and get the chance to see this beautiful moon.” I smiled lightly, “I really miss them.”
I missed everyone that I loved so dearly.
He thought I was only talking about Grandpa Jin and Grandma Sha, “They will rest, seeing you are doing well.”
It was rare to hear comforting words from Iceberg.
“I know this might be daydreaming, but one day I will make it out of the Underground, and see the world on the other side.”
He smiled very lightly, as if that was not real.
I wonder if he was not believing me, and that was why he smiled like that. Yeah, that did seem to be daydreaming especially for someone weak like me. We stared at the moon for the rest of the time.
“Go, never come back here.” He said.
I went and stopped halfway to look back at Zen. His eyes seemed to glitter under the moonlight. It didn’t take long before I decided to continue my journey, because Rene was still waiting for me.
When I finally made it back to our base, I saw a little shadow near the huge boulder. I knew it was Rene.
“Nana sis!!”
He hopped with his stick cane as fast as he could, and jumped into my embrace, hanging there like a little monkey. His eyes were red, and seemed to be crying for a long while. I came back a day late. He must be super worried all this time.
“I thought you would never come back anymore!” He cried, like a normal kid.
I smiled warmly and rubbed his hair gently.
“Kiddo, I promise you, remember? I will keep my promise no matter what.”
He laughed again, just like a normal kid.
Before he was too mature and pessimistic for his age, but at this moment, I was glad he could be his true self again.
I reached inside the pockets and got the food out, then unwrapped the paper to show the yummy meat inside.
“Look at what I have here, you must be hungry by now.”
Rene didn’t even look at the meat, but hugged tightly onto me.
“Welcome home, Nana sis.”
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