Chapter 3: Solitude
AN: Ideas be flowin through my head. Manoduds thanks for the review, I agreed with everything you said. Thus I made changes. Thanks for your review it was extremely helpful and I wish all reviews were like this. sorry about no update, I got around 20 hours of sleep. :3
#################################
I have been stuck here, isolated in the darkness, for I don’t know how long. I can’t sense the passage of time, or anything really. It’s just… empty.
I tried calling out, but I don’t know if any sound was made because I couldn’t hear myself. I guess this must be what it feels like to have no senses at all. It was the strangest feeling, well lack thereof. I tried doing a pirouette.
Nothing. Then it hit me, I can’t sense anything.
Ages past, or at least, I think so. I’m pretty sure I have absolutely no idea how much time is passing.
“Ding”
That was a bell. How can I hear that? Annnnnd now there is a chess set in front of me. Great, I’m hallucinating. First darkness, then magical fucking chessboards. What next? Rainbow turtles that shoot lasers out of their eyes?
Then one appeared, I nearly shit my pants.
I must have waited too long because the chessboard started poking me in the eye, believe me I could feel that.
“Fine I’ll play.”
Odd, I could hear myself again. I quote, sat down, unquote to play chess. Now before I describe the next bit first let me explain something. Chess was something different from most of my other “talents.” I clearly remember it being the seven-hundred-and-seventy-seventh thing I tried my hand at, after beach volleyball. I was actually not average, but it wasn’t exactly great either. For whatever reason every chess game I played ended up in a draw. And I mean every time. All 7,692 games I played in fact.
Well, not this time. I lost every game I played, against a person-thing-something? who was not even there. However, I didn’t feel like it counted as anything special because my opponent was not in existence.
I lost count after my 13,000th loss, I think I played a couple ten-thousand more games, not really sure. I never came close to winning once.
I finally was about to give up hope, what felt like years worth of losses finally were catching up to me.
“Ding”
It was that bell that brought the chessboard. There was blackness again and I let out a sigh of relief. My test, as I was now calling it, was not over. A pile of sand, a pair of tweezers and a red “x” appeared. I knew where this was leading…
I picked up a grain of sand with the tweezers and dropped it on the spot. It turned into a green checkmark, and then reverted to the red “x” again. If someone were to call me right now I would unfortunately have to tell them I am busy and will be busy for the next few millennia. Huzzah. I swear when I thought that a fanfare went off in my head.
Fast forward ten billion years and I complete my task. Think it was over? You were wrong, next I had to count down from infinity to negative infinity. After that was catching a snipe. A whole world was created for that one, it was very beautiful with tall pine trees, a snipe (it looks like a ferret apparently) and myself. Fun times were had by all. One unfortunate side result, the snipe decided to stick with me. Did I mention all it does is scurry around while yelling profanities? The most annoying creature since Donald Trump. (Shots fired)
Time had passed, a lot of it in fact. Surprisingly I had not aged, forgotten anything, or gone bad shit crazy. Lucky me.
Snipe in tow, I went on and defeated the next 772 challenges. I would love to describe them all but I feel that other people would be just as bored hearing about them as I would be describing them.
Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.
I stopped to mention the next challenge, because it was unique. All the others were long, tedious, and nearly mindless. This one was of an entirely different sort. I was watching my life from a third-person perspective.
I went through everything, childhood, laughing with Brianna, growing up, school, the inferiority, my trials. I was lovingly given an Earth Years counter in the upper right corner. When it reached present time it read 3 googleplex years. That’s a lot.
“Ding”
It was the fucking ding again. Fuck that dude.
“You passed the trials.”
Oh? It had an end? I thought this was a never-ending torture chamber.
“You do not seem pleased.”
Fuck, this old man can read my thoughts.
“Watch your mouth young one.”
“Watch your sadistic streak you old fuck.” I retorted hotly.
“I guess you don’t want to hear the next part, Bailey Mitchell.” The voice boomed.
He knew my name, that’s actually kinda rad. (yes I thought rad)
“Ok, shoot old man.” This was more interesting.
“This one’s name is Bob.”
If I could have, I would have done a spit-take. Phhhht!!! Bob. His name is Bob. I was rolling on the ground laughing, clutching my stomach.
“Do not look down on the name Bob, it is feared by all throughout the universe.” Bob was getting defensive.
At that point I had almost stopped laughing, but this put me back over the edge.
“Arggh! Shut up! I demand it!” Bob thundered.
I found myself unable to laugh. A wave passed through my body, and my laughter as well as any attempt to laugh ceased.
“Good I have your attention.”
“Continue Almighty Bob.” I knelt on one knee.
It was Bob’s turn to laugh. I was starting to like this talking voice dude. He was a sadist and all but at least he has a sense of humor.
“I the Ancient Bob, have chosen you to receive my talents.”
Oooh????? Talents???? Me like.
“Yes. Yes. You proved yourself through your perseverance.” Bob continued, “Recieve my legacy, it shall reform you based on my power and how your body accepts it.”
If I had a tail it would be wagging right now.
“RECEIVE YOUR REWARD BAILEY, CHOSEN OF BOB.”
Then more blackness, but it was that of unconsciousness.
########################################################
“HA HA HA HA HA” Bob laughed.
I awoke to the sounds of Almighty Bob’s laughter.
“Yet again, you surprise me.” Bob was there. Rolling on the ground. Laughing.
I ran over to him and started kicking his face. He looked like he was twenty years old, and now he didn’t sound like an old fogey. Short black hair, fathomless black eyes, pretty tall, normal young man, was currently under my foot, laugh-crying.
“Not. Funny.” I grind out through my teeth.
“Here look in this mirror.” Comes a muffled voice from under my foot.
Poof! A mirror was now in front of me. I take a look. Shit I’m a girl. At least unlike that crazy dream I don’t look like Brianna. Now I’m like Bob’s twin sister.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!”
“Pleasure to meet you, sister dearest.” Bob says cackling.
#####################################
Sowwy for delay. I enjoyed writing this chapter, hope you guys enjoy reading it. I will try to have another chapter out either later today or sometime tomorrow.
Enjoy, baileymitchell