Well... it's been a couple of days since that moment. I don't want to talk about it, you know? But I have to, after all, you need to know what happened.
*sigh*
After Kila finished her work, several hours after she'd sat me in that chair, I got one of the longest, heaviest lectures I've ever received in my entire life. And I couldn't even say anything because I had nothing to say.
The lecture started from that day when I began my “mischief” with the puddle, going through times when I would eat candy on the sly, and then detailing each of the times I would leave for the ekus corral. Normally Ameli always accompanied me at these times, but after she was ordered that she could no longer do so, sneaking away had been my only option. Hence, this was the straw that broke the camel's back.
After hearing Makila lecture me, I was taken to Dad's office, where he and Mom were waiting for us. I was metaphorically placed in the center, while Kila and Mom took turns scolding me equally. Dad just silently looked at me with a somewhat disappointed look.
That was perhaps worse than the scolding from both my mothers.
It was another couple of hours before, after a long discussion, a unanimous agreement was reached. Most of the punishment I was to receive was an agreement between Mom and Makila, with Dad only contributing a single point.
Starting the next day, and for the next 3 months, I would be escorted ALWAYS by Ameli and two other maids who Makila would choose. I would still have some freedom to go wherever I wanted around the mansion, but I had what could be considered a “curfew” during the day. The advantage was that I now had permission to go with the ekus. It was Mom who proposed that idea, and that was the reason it took them so long to agree since Kila didn't approve of it, and Dad didn't have an opinion.
The conclusion was that I was allowed to go, but nothing else. I cannot go to the Nidary or enter the corral. I can pet them through the fence, and run perpendicular to it, nothing more. And only for an hour. Very restrictive, but it would only last the 3 months of the punishment. Once it is over, I am allowed to enter the barnyard and the Nidary as long as I am accompanied by Ameli or someone trustworthy, such as my parents, Zenya, or even Sarka, although that will only be the case when she comes home next year. And, once I'm old enough, it seems, supervision will no longer be necessary.
Now, what I didn't want to happen happened just before my “trial” was concluded. Dad, who had been silent most of the time, spoke up to add a single punishment.
10 spankings.
Yeah...
Makila was surprised that it was Dad who suggested it, and Mom just nodded immediately. Unfortunately for me, it was the only point in the whole discussion that they instantly agreed on, as if it had been a no-brainer.
In conclusion, I would be punished for three months with an escort, have limited freedom to go with the ekus, and receive 10 spankings on my ass. And, as a final threat, to make sure I didn't get any funny ideas, I was warned that, if I didn't comply with everything, the punishment would be doubled, going from 3 months to 6, and I would receive 20 spankings.
There was no negotiation.
When the “trial” was over, Dad was left finishing up some things from his work, Mom went to dinner, and Makila took me back to her office and... there I received that part of my punishment.
It hurt. It hurt a lot.
Did I cry? Of course I did, damn it. I was placed on her lap and spanked harder than I expected. My ass ended up burning all night!
As soon as it was over, Ameli took me to my room while I calmed down, changed my clothes and, after a light dinner, I was sent to sleep immediately. At that point, doing that was the best thing even for me. I didn't want to see anyone or be spoken to. I didn't even want to listen to Ameli after it was all over.
The next day, and until today, everything has remained just as I was told. In the mornings I go on my walks, escorted by Ameli and the two new maids, Aleira and Maeka.
Aleira is, like Ameli, a Valven, only she is older than my maid, and with more experience taking care of children, as it seems she already has some of her own. And Maeka is an Ofiuken. A race I met for the first time. Long story short, they are like reptilians, with many reptilian parts. Even their faces are more like the head of a snake, though much shorter. If I had to say it, I'd say she's surprisingly cute. Of course, from the point of view of someone who likes reptiles.
Things hadn't changed too much other than that. I still had my morning walks, and my lessons with Kila and Zenya; although both were much stricter with me from that day on, and in the afternoons, I was free to do whatever I wanted, which meant that, from time to time, I could go visit the ekus during the time allowed.
I had just returned from my visit to the corral and was strolling around the garden taking advantage of the fact that we were close to the beginning of summer. Clear skies, and bright days. Thankfully not as hot as in my previous world.
In your face global warming.
I walked slowly through a part of the garden that I used to visit frequently lately. Of course, Lan was with me. Since the rains had stopped, my companion was unlikely to get dirty, so I began to take her outside with me more often.
As I was enjoying the day, with my three escorts right behind me, and a stuffed bunny held comfortably in my arms, a small flash in the sky caught my attention. At first, it took me a while to figure out what it was, but the longer I looked at it, the more terrified I became.
“What the fuck...?” I muttered as I tried to comprehend what I was seeing.
Something was happening to the sky, and that was not only not normal, but it was something I had seen before, although not from this point of view.
When I first met Sathalia she explained to me the situation this universe was in, showing me that off-planet image, I felt it was impressive as well as terrifying, but in a way, it hadn't affected me as it should have. The view I was having now... made me understand what was really going on.
I saw how the sky was rapidly tearing apart, forming a huge rift that split the sky completely, revealing a deep darkness within. It was as if a huge invisible sword had cut the sky with a slash, and it was getting bigger and bigger as time went on.
I felt weak the moment that thing took up the entire sky, I let go of Lan and fell to my knees on the ground, gasping in absolute terror at the sight of that image, feeling as if we were on the brink of extinction, stripped of all hope or salvation. It was like seeing the real end of the world with my own eyes.
“Young lady, what happened, are you feeling sick?!”
I could hear Ameli's desperate voice next to me, trying to get me to react. I looked away from the sky to find the three maidservants with worried and anxious faces.
Why are they not the same as me, are they not terrified by what was happening?
“U-up... the s-sky!” I shouted to them, and the three of them looked up, searching from place to place, but instead of looking frightened by what I was seeing, they looked confused, as if they were unable to see anything strange or different.
“Young lady, there's nothing in the sky, are you sure you saw something?”
“What did you see, young lady?”
Aleira and Maeka asked one after the other, looking at me worriedly. I didn't know how to answer them. Was I the only one who could see it? Being the only one able to see something so incredibly terrifying... and knowing exactly what it meant was one of the worst feelings I'd ever had. It underscored the purpose of my mission, but it also made me feel incredibly small, so... weak, and powerless.
Ameli couldn't seem to see anything either but still decided it didn't matter. She hugged me gently, trying to comfort me as she stroked my back. Soon after she started, the sky slowly returned to normal. The rift slowly closed until it disappeared as if everything I'd seen had been nothing more than an illusion.
My head was a mess. I was so terrified and lost that I could do nothing but cling shakily to Ameli and let her actions help me calm down. Dozens of questions had formed in my mind. Could I do anything against it? Could a simple “anchor” stop something so absurdly terrifying? It was as if I wanted to stop Jupiter's giant storm by placing a finger-sized stone in its path. That's how unreal my situation felt.
How... am I supposed to solve something like this?
I had to remain in my maid's embrace for a long while before I could regain my composure. Aleira approached us when I finally broke away from Ameli's embrace and handed me Lan, whom I hugged tightly immediately.
“Young lady, what did you see?” asked Ameli.
I considered for a second telling her exactly what I saw but quickly dismissed that idea. Not only would they not believe me, but on the very slim chance that they did, it would be a real disaster, both for me and for everyone who inhabited this mansion. I decided it was best to lie to them. It was the best thing for everyone.
“I saw a very large bird, and I remembered a nightmare I had,” I said, feigning some fear in my voice and hugging Lan tightly. It wasn't hard to fake something I was technically already feeling.
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The three maids breathed a sigh of relief, although they remained somewhat tense. Aleira nodded towards Maeka who immediately went somewhere. Ameli picked me up off the floor and said, “If there really is some giant bird flying around here, it would be best to return to the mansion. It may be nothing, but it's better to be cautious.”
And so, I was taken back to the house, while a warning was given to the guards to keep an eye on the sky, looking for any large birds. The response seemed too much of an overreaction, but taking into account that in this world monsters seemed to exist, as well as animals more dangerous than on Earth, perhaps being a little cautious was not out of place.
----------------------------------------
Later that evening, after dinner, I took a nice hot bath. Zenya joined me this time, fortunately, more relaxed and less strict with me. Enough to play with me in the bath. Soon after, feeling a bit sleepy, I was taken to my room for an early night. My little bunny was waiting for me in bed, ready to protect my dreams and fill me with comfort. I needed a good night's rest, free of anything scary or complicated like what I had experienced that afternoon. I couldn't help but remember what I saw, though. That thing was the scariest thing I had ever seen, but I couldn't say what was the worst thing about the whole experience.
I don't even know what to feel more terrified about, the fact that I couldn't see anything there, or the fact that I seriously couldn't see anything there.
A nice sleeping paradox, I know.
The fact that I couldn't see anything should be reassuring, but, the fact that there was nothing there put my mind to work, giving terrifying answers to the unspoken questions. Was there really nothing there, or did I not see anything because I wasn't able to see anything there?
...
Or, was it because whatever might be there didn't show itself?
The thought made me even more anxious. Too much lovecraft could be detrimental to reincarnation. I shook my head and hugged my Lan tighter. I just wanted to sleep, and take my mind off it all. Just have a peaceful sleep and...
“Now where the fuck am I?” I asked aloud, as I surveyed my surroundings, confused and somewhat fearful. I seemed to have fallen asleep without realizing it.
I was almost certain that as long as Lan was with me I would never suffer from nightmares again. A silly superstition, but sometimes you need to believe in things like that to keep from falling into the abyss.
At least the place wasn't the same as always. That dark and scary version of my old house was traumatizing. This time it was a blank space, albeit a limited one. I could see a certain invisible boundary to the place. Technically I couldn't see it, because it was, well, invisible, but I had some certainty about the approximate size of that space.
I moved around the place, checking every piece of furniture, looking for something out of place, and waiting for something to happen, but everything was strangely still and quiet.
The fact that everything was silent and peaceful was, to a certain extent, unsettling, which did nothing good to my growing anxiety, making me look almost paranoid at every place wishing something would happen and yet not. It had already been too stressful a day for my liking.
“Welcome my little mortal.”
A deep melodious voice echoed throughout the place, echo upon echo. Instead of being surprised, I began to smile as I recognized that voice. Instantly I felt my whole body relax and the anxiety disappeared. I was so relieved and happy to hear her again.
“Sathalia!” I shouted with joy and began to look around for her until I saw a glow forming to the side. The gigantic woman I had known before I was reborn had shrunk to the average size of a grown woman. We looked about the same height, which confused me for a second. But I decided to ignore that thought. I ran over to her and hugged her without even thinking about it. I was so, so happy to see her again, that I simply forgot about everything else.
I heard her wonderful laughter in my ears as she hugged me back. “I'm happy to see you too little one.” Her voice was so comforting that I felt all my worries disappear completely. However, a small part of me, the logical part, was telling me that my current actions were improper and disrespectful, something I slowly began to agree with. Feeling a slight heat on my face, I decided to step away from the Goddess, who didn't change her beautiful smile at any moment. I couldn't help but keep blushing, nervously averting my gaze as I thought about what I should say next.
“You don't have to worry so much, let alone feel so nervous.” She said in a soft tone. She took a few steps away from me, in the direction of the chairs I had seen earlier. “Come, join me so we can talk more comfortably.”
Sathalia walked gracefully to one of the chairs and, with the same level of elegance sat down, motioning for me to hurry and do the same. Quickly, I ran to her and took the seat across from her.
On the previously empty table, a whole tea set appeared along with some snacks and sweets. They didn't look particularly expensive or flashy, but they certainly looked tasty. I didn't know what to do as I admired the tea appearing in my cup without me noticing. I tried to clasp my hands together on the table, but there was no room, then did the same in my lap, but I felt even more awkward than before. It was as if I didn't know how to act in front of her.
“You look nervous.” Sathalia suddenly commented. I shifted my gaze to her and appreciated her comforting smile. “I was hoping this kind of reception would help you relax. But it seems to have had the opposite effect.”
Sathalia's smile dimmed after that comment, and I couldn't help but feel guilty about it.
I shook my head, thinking about what I should tell her. “it's just that I... I've been having nightmares lately.” I said, uncomfortable about bringing it up. But, something told me that it might be the right thing to do at this point. “It's...complicated. I'm a little afraid that all this, running into you again is... you know, the start of another nightmare.”
Sathalia picked up the cup in front of her, filled with a liquid that looked and smelled like a delicious tea, though I couldn't identify it. She drank slowly from the cup, with a finesse that my family could hardly replicate. Makila included.
“Nightmares are the manifestations of fears, pain, and sadness, which are being contained within the hearts of mortals and of which they are sometimes unaware,” Sathalia explained in a motherly tone. Her gaze, filled with a wisdom that only a goddess could show, met mine. “I know, my little one, that you have been carrying something very heavy.”
“I don't know-” I tried to refute her, but was immediately interrupted.
“Little one. I know well what you've been through and the scars on your heart.” I shuddered at her words. I felt naked in front of her gaze and, I didn't know what to do, think, or say. “There is still fear in your heart, fear towards your family.”
“...”
“Don't worry, you can get through this, I have full confidence in that. Believe it or not, you've already taken the first steps.” She placed her hand on my head and gently stroked my hair. “I'm sorry for making you think about something so difficult,” Sathalia said, her voice with a hint of guilt. I couldn't help but feel frustrated.
“Not at all, it's just... it was unexpected. I just...”
“Shh, it's okay, leave it for now. My intention was for you to be aware of it, and that goal has been accomplished. Once you wake up, you'll have plenty of time to think about it.” Sathalia suddenly lifted me from my seat and placed me on her lap, taking me by surprise.
When did she get bigger? No, was it me who got smaller?
“It's been hard on you, so I want you to take this opportunity to forget about everything else, relax and, really rest. We have plenty of time, little one, and you should take advantage of it.”
I thought for a moment about her words. It was true that, up until now, I hadn't been able to rest. Constantly worrying about whether I'll have another nightmare, and what happened today... I really needed to take my mind off all that.
But...
There were questions I needed to ask.
“Sathalia?”
“Tell me little one.”
“Why me?” I asked as I looked her straight in the eyes. After what I had seen that afternoon, what little confidence I may have in myself had almost completely crumbled. Was there really no one better?
“Hmm. Why you?” Sathalia repeated the question, closed her eyes, and began to hum as she seemed to contemplate her answer. “My answer remains the same, little one. You were the only one who decided to listen to me all the way through, the only one who, despite how absurd my words might have seemed, decided they were worth considering.”
“But... what's so special about that?” I said, totally frustrated and annoyed. “What am I supposed to do against something like that?”
Sathalia began to laugh, in a small chuckle, that instead of annoying me or making me feel like she was making fun of me, I felt a certain happiness tickle my ears and placed a smile on my lips. “My sweet little girl, being special or not is completely irrelevant. Besides, I never asked you to face those cracks.”
“It's...that's true, but I-”
“Little one. I didn't want someone special, or someone who only thinks about accomplishing their mission, or who follows my every word as if they were absolutes. I just wanted someone willing to help me sincerely.”
“But...”
“*sigh* of course, there was something else that I didn't tell you that time.”
“My child, when I saw you for the first time, I saw a soul that was full of pain and regret. You were someone who needed to see something better, to live something better. That's why I wished you were the one who would listen to me because the only thing I could give you as a reward for your help was a second chance to live the life you deserved to live, to have the happiness you deserved to have and a family that deserved your love. That's why I was so happy when you decided to listen to me and agreed to help me.”
I didn't know what to say to her, had she thought that much about me?
“Besides,” she added with a smile. “You are someone with great knowledge. You understand very well the new things that come your way and, on top of all that, you work from your heart. Not out of obligation or because it's your duty. You do it because you want to do it, and that really makes you special in my eyes.”
“Do you really... do you really think that about me?” I sobbed, as Sathalia's arms wrapped around my body, cradling me in a motherly embrace.
“Of course, my dear. Those are my sincerest thoughts.”
I cried into her embrace feeling an indescribable warmth envelop me.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” I repeated over and over as my tears soaked the goddess' dress. Her heartfelt words had taken deep root within my soul, and while I can't say my fear had disappeared, at least I could feel a little more confident.
After a while, I managed to calm down, and stepped out of her arms, only to be treated like a child under her motherly care. Sathalia wiped my face with a handkerchief made of a cloth that was unrealistically soft and offered me some of the sweets she had made appear on the table. They were, not ironically, divine.
“Perhaps this is a bit sudden and... inopportune, given the conversation we just had, but there is something I need to talk to you about.”
Sathalia's expression turned serious, and, although it still felt relaxed and warm, a slight tension began to form.
“Is it... something bad?”
Sathalia sighed with some sadness but shook her head. “It is, and at the same time it isn't.”
I tilted my head in confusion, about to ask her what she meant, but before I could, Sathalia waved her hand and... showed me again the crack I had seen that afternoon.
“This one wasn't caused by the current situation. At least not completely.” I looked at the screen the goddess had summoned in front of us and it was very different from what I remembered.
The first time Sathalia showed me that image, the rift was a couple of times larger than the planet. What I saw was much bigger than both stars combined. It felt like that thing could swallow the whole system. And there was certainly something very different. The violet rays, the clouds of dark gas, and the spatial distortions that I could see before were nowhere to be seen. It was literally as if something or someone had cut through the fabric of space/time.
“As you can see, although similar, this is very different.” I felt a shiver as if I could somehow guess what was coming. “This was not created by the tearing that is affecting this universe.”
“W-what does that mean?” I couldn't hide the nervousness in my voice, and it was made worse by Sathalia's hesitant expression.
“...I'm sorry, little one. There's something I didn't tell you when I asked for your help.” Sathalia hesitated. The goddess hesitated to continue her words. That was not a good sign.
I clung tightly to her, not wanting to hear whatever it was she hesitated to say, but I knew it was something I couldn't not know about. Sathalia took my action as if I was encouraging her to continue, even though I didn't want her to.
“In every universe, there are legends and myths in the various civilizations that speak of something that lurks and creeps through the void. For earth it was called Tiamat, Apep, Jörmungandr. For Silia, it has been known as Kavrathul, Thalvorgast, Voruthar. But to us Superior Ones, that entity is called Yhavorgoth, The Unfathomable Devourer.”