Several days had passed, and I had only been putting off seeing them. Perhaps I was lamenting my situation. Here I was, acting selfishly while I failed to apologize to Nor - I had even made Rosa cry. I was at a loss of what to do and only continued to pass each day working in my little group with Sho and a few others. I thought I was getting rather good at utilizing this magic, although all I could use it for was to make holes in the walls of the mine. The other conjurers - I called them so because they created something from nothing, or so it seemed - were leading their own groups quite smoothly, even the other human girl had taken charge of her group.
I was in serious doubt about myself and the situation I had created for everyone. I had to do something to make up with them, but I couldn’t figure out what exactly I had to do. I saw Nor and Rosa everyday during break time, but they were always far away from me or left early to get back to the mines; we had a quota to fill afterall. I tried asking the others in my group for information about what I could do, but they all told me to just go talk to them and hear them out - I wondered if that was really enough… didn’t I have to do something more than that?
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A few more days passed and I had still not made any contact with them. Rather than tense, it felt awkward whenever I saw them or made eye contact with them. I kept putting it off saying that some time and space could fix my problems. I also made excuses to myself, giving reasons as to why I couldn’t see them on a particular day. One day, Sho came up to me and gave me a push of encouragement.
“You realize you can’t keep going on like this forever.”
“I know, but… you know?”
“I know, but you never know what might happen down here in the mines, and you’ll come to regret this very moment in the future. Going on like this will only cause pain for both of you.”
“I wonder… do they even want to see me after what I said?”
“I don’t know, but at least you will have tried to talk to them. From the short life I’ve lived, I’ve realized that apologies can make and break relationships - prolonging it will only make it harder to reconcile”
I took this advice to heart and planned to talk to them the next time I saw them.
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Some time passed, and it was break time once again. Surprisingly, I’ve gotten used to the lifestyle in the mines, although I do not know how I should feel about that. On one hand, I had gotten away from the slums and had human contact. On the other hand, I was forced to work with little food to satisfy my hunger.
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As I walked towards the break area, I once again spotted Rosa and Nor. I made eye-contact and wanted to run away, but I looked straight while walking towards them. They saw me coming and seemed uncomfortable at the situation, or perhaps they really did not want to see me. I was less than a few steps away from them and stopped - I looked up.
“What… do ya want kid?”
“Could I talk to you guys later, in private?”
Nor looked over at Rosa and she nodded her head.
“Does tonight right before lights out sound good to you?”
“Yeah, I’ll see you then.”
We went our separate ways for break, and I was nervous about the meeting that would happen later that night. Time quickly passed and it was time to meet up. I walked towards the meeting spot in the dark. I had grown accustomed to the darkness because the guards rarely lit torches inside the mines. It was usually brightened by the natural light and occasionally I would conjure up my own flames.
I saw Nor and Rosa waiting for me at the spot and I sped up my pace so I could quickly get on with what I was going to do. I drew closer to them until I was right in front of them, the sound of my footsteps echoed in the damp darkness as I came to a halt.
“So what’d ya wanna see us for. We don’t have much time so ya better spit it out quickly”
The guards were constantly patrolling at night, or they were supposed to be but more likely than not they were probably drunk on the ground.
“I’m really, truly sorry for what I said that day. I’m sorry for making excuses about the duel and I’m sorry for being such a selfish child and saying things that I don’t really mean”
I bent over as I talked to show my sincerity and it felt like I had truly removed a large burden over myself. I waited for their response in silence as water trickled down from the ceiling.
“I’m sorry for putting you in harm's way. I know it's no excuse, but I was stressed from everything that happened in such a short amount of time.
I was surprised that Nor had actually apologized to me, but I knew better than to just leave it hanging like that so I accepted his apology and they accepted mine. For some time after that, we talked about where we had come from and our life stories - although I mostly listened because I hadn’t lived through much.
They had been captured at the edge of their country, Bakeno Kingdom, and were bought as slaves in Raksha. They were apparently married and had a child before they had been captured and brought over. This had happened a while back and in that time, they thought that they would still be able to survive and live a satisfying life somehow, however, that never came into fruition and instead their firstborn was killed on the way here - to the mines. Rosa talked about how she saw me and was both glad and deeply saddened. She saw me as a child that could replace the emptiness that was left in her, but at the same time she couldn’t bare to see another child die, workring endlessly as a slave.
“Looking back on it, I’m glad Yuki died while she was still in that wagon. Who knows what she might have suffered having to work here. I wouldn’t be able to bear watching her be taken away from me forever”
I didn’t know how to feel about what she had said. I didn’t know enough and had not gone through anything similar as they had. I felt ashamed for thinking that I was the only one going through hard times. We continued to talk deep into our sleeping hours and afterwards, we went back to where everyone else was sleeping. Rosa had asked if I would lay next to her just for tonight and I agreed. I fell asleep while Rosa caressed my hair - there were tears in her eyes.