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Chapter 5 - Raw Emotions

As soon as I heard the man declare the start of the duel, I began to conjure up the powers I was taught only a few moments ago. My plan was to simply fire a shot, surprise him, and get close enough in order to touch him and easily beat him out. But before I could even begin to launch my attack, I noticed that Nor disappeared from view and I felt something hit the back of my neck. As I fell, I whipped my head around only to see Nor. Then, I blacked out.

I had a dream. It almost felt like an ethereal experience. Someone called out for help from a faint distance. I followed the voice to…

“Sol! Sol! Are you ok!? Nor! You hit him to hard” *squeeze*

“Ow, OW!! I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I just had to knock that cockiness right out of ‘im!

I opened my eyes and saw Rosa, who had turned her head over to look at Nor. They were arguing with each other about what had just occurred. I had acted out of arrogance in the moment and I would reflect on my actions, but in the meantime, I wanted to feel safe in the warmth of Rosa’s protection. I don’t ever remember having had a positive interaction with another person and this was perhaps the only one in recent memories.

I was stupidly happy with my predicament and had the naive thought that this could last forever. I saw that the others were busy working in the mine and felt guilty for bothering their work. We had a quote to fill, and if it wasn’t met… no one wanted to think about what happened after that. Rosa noticed I had woken up and I decided to get up from her lap to go help out. Rosa thought that I should rest a little more before doing any manual labor, but I decided against it. Nor probably wouldn’t let me anyway. I hadn’t even been able to put up a battle, so I ultimately did not end up as the leader of the group, however, when I told them the circumstances with the guards, they agreed that they would pretend that he was the leader, while Nor would secretly give out the orders - I didn’t know much about leading anyway.

A few minutes or hours passed - I can’t tell how much time has passed - and I decided to apologize to Nor. The group was split up into smaller groups and each was assigned to a specific area of the mine in order to achieve the greatest efficiency in mining. Nor was on the other side of the mine and I decided that I would apologize to him after this session of mining.

The enslaved miners would work for 18 hours a day, with a break every 5 hours for about an hour - the length of break depended on how the guard felt. Outside breaktime, there was no stopping and if anyone were to show any signs of weakness or fragility, they would be taken away, never to be seen again - that was not a risk anyone was willing to take.

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Time passed and it was now break time. I had decided to look for Nor quickly. I spotted him walking over from the opposite direction. We were all headed towards the shabby door, barely attached to the cave’s wall, that led to a small room where we were allowed to take care of business. Every break, food was given out in varying amounts. Sometimes, the food included only a small loaf of bread and water in a dirty clay bowl. Other times the water had to be licked up from the ground or collected from the ceiling. I ate the bread with some gratitude and thought that it had been worse than the one I had stolen from the rats. It was food nonetheless and dying from starvation sounded pathetic too. After I finished my meal, if it could even be called one, I headed over to Nor, who was not with Rosa, and asked if I could talk with him.

“Whaddya want kid?”

He answered without even looking back at me. As if I wasn’t worth his time. I was nervous but I responded quickly.

“I, I wanted to apologize for earlier. I was acting out,... b, but if you had just listened to me from the start then neither one of us would have had to fight! I probably could’ve beat you if you didn’t catch me off guard!”

Perhaps out of worthless pride or plain stupidity, I talked to him as if I was blaming him for the duel earlier. I realized what I had said and instantly regretted it. I had gone and done something stupid and Rosa wasn’t here to stop the situation from escalating.

“Ya bastard, ya wanna get a beating again, huh?! I went easier on ya earlier, but I guess ya still haven’t learned your lesson!”

Nor closed the distance and punched me in the solar plexus and the air got knocked out of me. I was shocked: was this my fault or his? Did I deserve all of this? Everyone looked over at the commotion and I cowered in fear once again. Perhaps that was all I could ever do. At that moment, something snapped inside of me. I didn’t know what it was caused by - Nor, the stress, or perhaps myself?. Regardless, I couldn’t hold back my anger and I lost myself in the moment - I lost all restraint.

“It’s not like I wanted to be taken here in the first place! I would’ve been satisfied living my life out in the slums of the city than be slaved away to work the rest of my life. I’m learning things I didn’t even want to know, why couldn’t I have just died on the wagons! Then I wouldn’t have to deal with this nonsense, this, this nonsense in this starving hellhole! Hell, I’d probably be HAPPIER DEAD!

I was causing such a commotion and saw Rosa coming over here. I believed that she could help me out of this situation, But for some reason I saw tears welling up in her eyes. She stared at me for a little bit, on the verge spilling tears, and turned back around. The guards were heading over because of the clamor and everyone else had dispersed to their areas. Nor took Rosa away and I was left there, standing alone, unable to grasp the situation. Then, the half, who began the duel earlier, came up to me; he was a part of my mining group and I had learned that his name was Sho. He told me something that made me regret my actions again.

“Rosa’s child died on the way here.”