It was the best meal I ever had, even with only the jerky from my backpack. But the small fire I stoked lazily with a stick made it so much better. It was peaceful, the stars were bright and wonderful and reminded me of my Demesne. I was content for the first time since I had lost my home. Hope blossomed like a delicate flower in my heart. Hope that my life could truly be more than a desperate struggle full of hatred and violence.
"Nurture that feeling, young Raven. Hold on to it. Fight for it, if you must. It could be your anchor to this world.“
A man in worn boots and a well-used travel cloak sat beside me, poking the fire as I was doing - with a stick. His eyes sparkled with mischievous intelligence and a reflection of the cool light of the stars above. I was startled of course, but one look into these eyes calmed me immediately. It was like coming home. And for a part of me, the supernatural part, it even was true.
"I will, Wanderer,“ I said, greeting him with a timid nod. "It was dearly missed. I had even forgotten my desire for it.“
"I judged you correctly then, it seems. You surpassed my expectations greatly. I feared you would emerge a beast, if at all. A creature of hate and rage. Only breathing to get vengeance and survive. I am glad that you found the strength to hope.“
"It is inside me.“ I sighed. "The beast. The part of me that did everything it could to survive. I fear its strength. I feel like I used it and left it behind in the dark, but I can never be sure. Your gift saved me in more ways than once. Lily, the wisp you send me, saved my sanity.“
Again he studied me with an amused expression, the fire painting wild shadows on his beard and face.
"Lily, huh?“ He dropped the subject, his gaze wandering about the hills in the distance.
"Do you feel it yet, young Raven? Do you feel the urge to see what is beyond the next horizon?“
"I guess I do. But more than anything I feel lost. I don't know what to do, I don't know where to go. There is a part of me that wants to go back to the empire. To help and fight.“
"I can't tell you what to do. The very thought is anathema to a creature of freedom such as I. But today you pleased me greatly, unshackling yourself from the depths of the earth itself. Gods of freedom far and wide noticed your victory. I will answer a few questions of yours as a reward if you are inclined to ask them. Maybe that can help you shape your future.“
"Is the Empire of the Sun truly lost?“ The question shot out before I could even think about it. I had to know. I just could not walk away from a fight. It burned in my soul.
"The Empire is dead, truly. A thing of dust and history. Some still fight, but it is futile. Change has come and swept the old ways away. People still live there. People died there. New order will arise or chaos will reign. Time will ever move on, but the Empire is left behind. As are the gods that looked upon the land as theirs.“
"How? How is that possible?“ Something caught in my throat. Something burned in my eyes.
"The Wyld came and destroyed. Both here and in Limbo. Or to be more clear: Not the Wyld but some who found a way to harness the power of the Wyld. Survival of the fittest. A story as old as time.“
I went silent for a moment, thinking about my questions. What did I want? I was not used to thinking beyond the survival of each given moment. I never had made any plans. I tried to remember that desperate rage, that drove me to jump that fateful day, a last attempt to rob my enemies of their satisfaction. I could not find it. Only the angry whispers of the souls around me still reminded me of that feeling. Maybe it would return one day. Maybe it was fatigue. Because I had neither forgotten the crimes of the Wyld nor the fall of Ravenrock.
"What can you tell me of the demons of the Wyld?“ I finally asked.
"I can tell you that you are, this very moment, under the influence of the Wyld. You were swept south and east, many miles. In fact, the very army you fought against came through these hills, gathering warriors for their campaign.“
I gritted my teeth but fought the feelings. I had known that I was in their territory. "But what about the demons? They were so different and strong. They smashed our defenses with eldritch powers. None of it was fair or made sense! There must be something going on!“
Now it was his turn to sigh and look at me with sadness in his eyes. "I know it is not what you want to hear. But they are just people. They may be touched and changed by the chaotic nature of the Wyld itself, but they are just people. With their own struggles, history, hopes, and dreams. And they have their own rituals and organizations and secrets.“
He was right. I did not want to hear this. Anger finally flared up in me. Just people? I had seen a horned giant of a man sweep knights in full armor off their mounts. I had seen multi-armed creatures jump over the spears in our shield walls, wreaking havoc in the back. I had seen with my very own eyes how crimson tendrils of chaotic energy ripped our walls apart like paper. The walls had fallen, burying the Bulwark, my father, under them.
"People?“ I almost spat, still disbelieving. "I saw no people when the Ravenrock fell. I saw monsters, without honor or empathy.“
"And yet there is a monster in everyone. And sometimes there is not much man left. The chaotic energy of the Wyld changes their most formidable warriors, but they are people. With the freedom to make even the most despicable of choices. As everyone else.“
We sat in silence for a while, just listening to the crackle of the fire. I knew that the Wanderer was saying the truth. They were evil, as far as I was concerned. But people often chose to be cruel or monstrous. It was nothing new. The fact that they had made the choice to be that way made it worse for me. I had expected an alien danger, consuming the living. But no. Everything I had ever known was dead because...because of politics?
"What can one man do? What can one man do against the hordes and magic of the Wyld?“ I whispered now.
"A man can do exactly as much as he is able to. He can care and he can act on it.“
"But what is a war worth, if there is no goal to it?“
He chuckled. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing, young Raven. Do not become a ghost in the stories the demons tell their children to get them to go to bed. Don't roam the country seeking vengeance in the name of the dead and dying. Be a light of hope. Bring the chained ones to safety. Build something new.“
"But how?“
"I don't know. How could I know? I am the Wanderer. You make your own destiny. I can only answer questions, not guide your every step. That is not who I am. Or you, for that matter.“
I threw my stick in the fire and leaned back, feeling the tree between my shoulders, listening to the wind rustling through the leaves.
"I want to act. And I do care. But I don't know how. I am young still and know nothing of the world. I know how to survive, but I am alone in enemy territory many miles away from lands I am familiar with. I don't want to look behind me every few seconds to see if there are dangers at my back. I need to feel safe again.“
"It seems you need the acquaintance of like-minded people. My time here is short and expensive, and potential allies are scarce in the heartland of the Wyld. But I can show you a way.“
"A dangerous one?“
"Most of them are, even if the danger lies only in getting lost along the way. But what I can show you has you traveling through the Wyld, where it is strangest and strongest. And what you will find is only worth the price you are willing to pay, if you can find it in your heart to change, to accept the new and to let go of prejudices of the past.“
"Demons then?“
"Very much so. More than you think. Ah well, I did not mean to confuse you with even more riddles. It is something that comes with age. But I do not guide you wrong, I would lead you true.“
"I trust you.“ And to my surprise, I felt that it was the truth. I trusted this ancient and quirky being, as removed from mortal struggles as he might have been. He was a spirit of freedom, above all else, and with that came the expectations he had of me. He wanted me to be free. He would not hold my hand. But just knowing that he cared, that there was someone out there who cared, was a lot. I had changed, but I was still a human at my core. A human appreciating human connections and affections, even to gods. He was human enough in my book.
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Before I could say anything else, he clapped his hands enthusiastically. "My time is cut short again, I fear. I can't linger in one place for long. This is my curse and burden and my dream as well. We will speak next when you find a way to do so.“ There was this mischievous grin of his again. "But I will reward you because you have done well. I give you a coin. Whenever you are truly lost, throw it and let it guide you. It is not the end of all wisdom, but if you have truly no idea where to go, it will lead you somewhere."
He snipped a silver coin in the air, which I caught over the fire. Looking at it, I saw the grinning face of the bearded man before me, pointing in one direction. The other side was blank. A hole had been punched right in the middle of it.
I attempted to stand up, but he stopped me with a laugh.
"You are the weary traveler today and it is custom to be equal around campfires in the wilderness. I happen to be the god of that situation. The coin will guide you to the goal we just spoke about first. Don't use it until you really need it after you have found it. And one last parting gift from me: Rest safely under this oak. No harm will find you, as long as you stay under its crown. And rest you shall, you truly deserve it."
He, and his voice, faded away into nothing before I could mutter a thanks or farewell. I said it anyway. I was safe. I had not known how relieved that would make me feel. How much stress and anxiety I still had in me, slowly washing away. Humans were truly extraordinary when it came to lying to oneself. I would sleep today and meditate tomorrow, Now I had time. I cut a small string of leather from a bag and hung the coin of the Wanderer around my neck, soon falling asleep.
The next morning greeted me again with joyful sunshine and singing birds. And though I did not want to lose even a second of this feeling, I made myself comfortable and started meditating. I opened my eyes to the calm coolness of my Demesne. Immediately the light of Lily's body fluttered around my head, bombarding me with words.
"Oh, spirits! What have you done? What am I talking about, you did it! How dare you scare me like that with the mists, and that creature and the fights and the escape! I screamed and almost died of a metaphysical heart attack! But then - wooosh - you were in the boat! And then you fought that ink - snake. And you have a companion now! So cute! A chain golem! Can I hold him? And then you talked to the Wanderer! How was he? Was he magnificent? And you told him my name! My name! How did he react? Did he smile? Does he even remember me? Does he hate me? Tell me everything! Did I do something wrong?“
I caught her gently between the fingers of both of my hands, forming a loose cage, and settled her on my knee, chuckling under the assault.
"Slow down! I missed you too! And I am sure the Wanderer would love you, were he to get to know you.“
"You really think that? Are you playing with me?“
"No! He smirked rather...amused when I told him your name.“
"He smirked?“ she gasped. "Like ...like mischievously? Or condescending? Or contend? Gaah! That doesn't mean anything!“
"I will introduce you next time.“
She screamed: "Don't you dare! Or...maybe.“
"He is nice enough, Lily.“
"He is a god, Hannibal. Gods are never just nice.“
"Well, He was nice enough to me.“
"I guess so.“ She began hovering over the chain that I had still wrapped around my torso. But it was lifeless, just an image in my head and thus an image in my Demesne. "This is a curious thing.“
"I am not so sure what to make of it myself.“
"Well, he is a sentient Chain Golem, and you bound him to yourself.“
"Huh. Yeah, I figured.“
"He will passively gain essence from you. As well as from his own battles and moments. He will grow alongside you. Such bonds are not to be given out lightly.“
"Thanks for the heads up.“ I murmured.
"Ah, don't you come at me like that now. You were in no state to receive any message from me. Or if you mean it...thanks. No problem.“ Then she murmured exasperated: "Humans...“
There was a moment of silence, but Lily broke it first. Once again fluttering excitedly around me: "Oh dear, Oh dear. You have been gone too long. There is so much to do! I don't even know where to start!“
"Like what?“
"Like the sword, you found and carry. Or the soul of the betrayer you claimed. There is all this essence you collected just sitting there in the lake. Or what of the Skills of that snake thing or the gifts of the Wanderer, and the paradigms you received...“
I cut her short. "We have time now. Lily, listen to me. I am free. No more danger. We have time.“
"But...but...you are behind enemy lines! The mist of the deeps on your heels! You have nowhere to go! You must be stronger to survive.“
"And I will be, once I had a few days of respite. The Wanderer made sure of that.“
"Huh. He did, did he? He gifted you an item, a paradigm choice, and performed a miracle? You must have made quite the impression.“
"He seemed quite pleased with me, yes.“
"You go, Raven!“ She cheered. "Good job. Our path is long and thorny but a benefactor and mentor on our side will go a long way.“
"Ahh. I needed that warm bath of praise. That feels good. Go on. Don't stop now.“
"Well don't get complacent. We will work hard. Our days of peace shall not be wasted!“
"See Lily? Now you understand. That is why I am here in the first place. So hit me. First things first. What is a paradigm?“
As usual, a blue box appeared in front of me:
[Congratulations! The entity known as the Wanderer has granted you access to three of his starter paradigms! Please choose: Pathfinder (Dogma: exploration); Ranger (Dogma: travel); Freeman (Dogma: Freedom)]
I studied the lines while Lily continued.
"Paradigms are specific progression paths along the idea of one Dogma of a god. They cost a set amount of essence to purchase and progress through its stages and give you Gifts, Skills, and sometimes other abilities at a discount. You are essentially buying a class packet, tailor-made by the god who granted it. Oftentimes the paradigms reflect the paths the god itself has taken in his past. Hence: Paradigm. Let the god guide you on your journey for a bit by following in his footsteps. It is expensive but every paradigm includes the first level of the Dogma it belongs to. And remember, Dogmata are, amongst other things, a source of passive income of essence, making paradigms always a great deal, essence wise. Even if a Gift or Skill is something you would not have chosen for yourself.“
"So that is a must-have?“
"Well, it is a gods solution to the fact that Twice - Born are having a damn hard time to level up their classes. So they kind of made their own. If I may be frank, you would be an idiot if you were to refuse such generosity.“
"Well, ok then. Any other notifications?“
"Yeah. 45 of them. Here is one!“
[New Title! Set free by yourself!
You emerged from the deepest darkness with nothing but your own strength and cunning to rely on. You are a new man! It's acts like these the aeons, heaven and hells recognize and reward.
Reward: 100 EP and 50 shards.]
There were many other notifications. Things like: You claimed the soul of the Regicide! You bound Zero, the Chain Golem! .... and others. I read them quickly, but I would not act on anything quite yet.
"Give me my total amount of essence and shards, please.“ I was somewhat giddy. Even now the horrors of the past faded away, leaving me with joy and pride over the gains I had made.
Lily listed the notifications out in a way for me to understand it easily. Then she read it out: "You killed 97 Betrayers of the Ravenguard, 4 Giant Spiders, 7 Shadow-Ink Chaser, 4 Shadow-Ink lurkers and something called shadow-touched leviathan (juvenile). The total essence, everything combined including minor rewards for smaller notifications you got along the way for several milestones down there, like the treasure chest of the golem maker, your successful retreat through the silent city, or your escape via waterways plus the huge rewards I have already shown you: 2329 raw essence and 275 essence shards. The difference is the reward the Wanderer gave you as part of his paradigms to get you started on them. Most gods do it this way, it is meant to be a gift after all You really had a few productive days, Hannibal.“