I left the Storysmith for the marketplace, perusing the stalls and vendors there for a chance of finding a Skill that would help me...navigate the unknown waters of the Shattered Sea. I had to do it, it was half the reason I had come to the Fulcrum, but it was also a welcome distraction from the truth that I had just learned of.
There had been a good reason.
There was so much wrong with this that I needed to think about that for a good long second. And I was glad that I had something else to do, to keep my mind off it.
I found a couple of Skills in the rows of Skillbooks that would roughly fit the description of what I was looking for. [Jet], [Reserving Breath Technique], [Environmental Protection]...There was a lot that would help me stay underwater and move underwater. But I had hoped for a cleaner and more complete solution.
I just imagined myself going overboard in a life and death situation, having to activate a dozen Skills in a hurry while being disoriented and drowning...I wanted a quick and reliable way to survive. All those Skills seemed to be very limited in what they would do.
I finally asked one of the vendors, the one with the biggest collection, if he had any recommendations for me, concerning good Skills that would allow me to ‘explore the ocean‘, as I formulated it.
”Hmm, as you can see I have a couple of good Skills to sell.“ He was a man in colorful silken robes, stroking his long and thin beard as he mulled over my question. ”But maybe your case is one for a Skillsmith. An experienced one would be able to combine, say, my [Control Water] with [Hold Breath] for example, creating a more useful, combined Skill that would be able to use the exact elements you want of both Skills.“
”And do you know where I can find a Skillsmith such as this?“
”Your best bet would be to announce your needs at a notice board. Their services are highly sought after, it is a difficult trade to learn and to master. And fairly expensive, as I might add.“
I nodded. Of course, it was. I bought [Hold Breath], though. It was the bare minimum I wanted. Everything else was luxury and luxury was something I could not afford. Well, I had a lot of Shards and Essence, but I wanted to spend it wisely. Not in a panic just because I did not trust the ocean and found its murky depths unsettling.
----------------------------------------
Good reason. There had been a good reason for the Regicide.
That went against not only everything I had learned in countless hours with different tutors, but against …everything. What a blasphemous idea. I snorted. Blasphemy, what a joke.
There could be no good reason to kill your own king, could there? Kings and queens had been chosen by the gods. They had the right of kings, the divinely anointed authority to rule. To attack them meant to spite the gods. To attack a king was as grave as a direct attack on the gods. It had been the crime most harshly punished in the Empire of the Sun.
But there had been bad kings.
Even then, killing them was just not done. Because a poorly led society was better than the alternative. Chaos and anarchy, the strong would rule and do as they please.
And yet…
And yet…
No one had chosen me to rule. I had taken the right with my own hands. No divine authority had anointed me. If I never had said that I was a noble descendant of a line of kings…I would have ruled, nonetheless. I would have lost the service of the navy, maybe, but the rest would have followed me. Because the strong rule.
There had been a good reason for a regicide. That meant that Kings could fail. And that meant that gods could fail. If I trusted the judgment of the Storysmith. Which I did not, not completely. The alternative was…that everything had been a lie.
Why did I have such a hard time accepting this? I knew gods could fail. Ours had. The totems of the Wyldlings had. I knew the Empire had fallen. I knew it to be right. It had been a lie. A lie I had been born into, as part of the nobility. A lie I had lived. Believed in.
I could shake that belief. I had died and looked behind the curtain. I could accept that kings were not chosen by the gods. I could believe they were just mortals, born into the biggest swindle of history. I could believe that.
But could I entertain the idea that the Betrayer had a reason good enough to commit regicide? Sure. Of course, he had a reason good enough. Who would kill a king and endure the consequences without a damn good reason? But was it a reason good enough to forgive him? I did not know. How could I? The history books were written by the judges, not the executed. How had he murdered the King? He had used Kingsbane, that much I knew. It had been him that dealt the killing blow.
If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.
I sat on top of the cliff in my Demesne, staring down at the fog. Thinking, ripping off the grass and mindlessly throwing it down the precipice.
I felt the burning in my heart. The knowledge that I had made a grave mistake. I had known all along. I just had not been able to shake the beliefs of my upbringing. Treason was to be punished. And as the last one standing it had been on me to see it through. I had thought the Betrayer to have escaped his punishment by cheating death.
I had been wrong. Dead wrong.
They all had suffered, the Lord Commander and his men. And for a good cause, no less. Guarding and imprisoning the tide of darkness that followed the Dragon of Darkness himself. Who was I to judge them?
”I have made a mistake“. I murmured absent-minded, rolling another blade of grass between my fingers.
”What did you do?“ Lily asked, floating beside me in the air, hovering just above the edge to the sea of fog.
I sighed deeply. ”Have you ever made a mistake in the heat of the moment and instead of correcting it made it worse and worse over time until just resolving the situation seemed to be impossible and you kept on lying to yourself and kept carrying on with your mistake?“
Lily hesitated a second. “No. I am a wisp and only exist since you were reborn.“
I threw the ball of grass I had rolled out, watching it tumble down. “I know it is a mistake. I can feel it. The Regicide and his men…I should not have taken them.“
”Yeah. You seemed so righteous, that’s why I didn‘t say anything. But I am a spirit of freedom, much like the Wanderer, as I am wrought of his being as much as yours. Imprisoning them seemed wrong. But there was more going on, wasn’t there? They were murderers and traitors.“
"That they were. And still are, as far as I am concerned. And yet, they have received their punishment. All the gods that could be interested are dead. And the kingdom they committed treason to is dead. Who am I to judge them once more?“
”As far as I can tell, you are the only one left with any right to judge them. It is your family and your history.“
”I know. It is why I...overreacted.“
”Well you have made up your mind, don‘t you?“
”I know that claiming and imprisoning them had been wrong, even if they are guilty. But...our gods are dead. There will be no one collecting their souls after they are freed. What happens to them?“
”Who knows for sure. I recommend not letting them out into the sanctuary you try to build. They might be too far gone to be anything else but raging ghosts. Remember that happening in the Abyss?“
”Barely. I was not quite there, those days in darkness.“ I just did not move, lost in thought.
”Hannibal. Stop stalling. Is there a problem? Did you make a mistake? Then stand up and solve it. Do what you can, accept the things you cannot change, and move on. Never dwell. Never stand still. Upwards and onwards, as the Wanderer used to say.“ Lily chided me. ”You have to live with yourself for a long time, I hope. Don’t carry guilt with you, you don't have to. Life will do that to you without you sabotaging yourself.“
“You are right. This has to end. Now.“
I got up and stepped over the edge, landing hard in front of the fog gate to the prison of the souls. I shuddered under the cold that emanated out of the fog. I had not made it this way. The nature of the place had changed with its inhabitants.
"Regicide!“ I shouted as I looked into the chaos of the raging souls, looking for the calm and cool center.
There he was, slowly walking through the storm, fixating me with his cold stare as he approached.
I did not let him speak. His abrasive personality would lead me to say and do things I later would regret. It did not matter that he was unbearable. It did not matter that he was a murderer. A kingslayer. He had nothing to do with the mistakes I had made.
”I would release all of your men. All the souls that followed you into the dark. They are free. Free to go. They have suffered enough.“ I hastily said before anything could change my mind. ”But our gods are dead. And no one waits at the other side to collect the dead, but the scavengers and opportunists.“
”Is that so?“ He sneered. ”You will hold them no longer, no matter how much honey you drip from your words. I will not accept a prison wrought of lies and words.“
”I will release your men if you wish. I swear it on the dead of Ravenrock. I just have to find a place to let them go. It will be done in a matter of days if that is your decision.“
”It is. They followed me far beyond any oath they had spoken. They deserve peace, but will take freedom if it is all I can get for them.“ He came closer to the gate, our heads close enough to touch, were it not for the gate. "And what about me?“
”I will let you go.“ I took a deep breath, steeling myself, forcefully swallowing my distaste for the man and my pride. ”I never should have taken you. I ask but one thing in return. One little thing and you are free to follow your men.“
”And what would that be, Ravenspawn?“ He spat, annoyed.
”Your story. I need to know what happened.“
He threw his head back and laughed. A dry, cold, and bitter laugh.
”Always one more thing. It is always the same with the Raven. Just one more thing. You are just like him.“
”Like who?“
”My brother. The man I murdered in cold blood.“
Silence reigned, but for the wailing of the souls behind him. The Betrayer stared at me with a challenge in his eyes. I tried to not falter under his gaze. Was this not the time for him to right his wrongs? To say anything he could, to make me release him? I did not understand. Why did he confess to his crime so blatantly? To make it harder for me?
He grinned, a sly and evil little grin, and turned away.
”You get your story, once I see my men freed of your damnation, Ravenspawn. Not a second sooner. I do not trust the words of any Raven, yours least of all.“ He said as he walked away.
And that was that. Mistakes over mistakes. Had I just made a new one? It felt like it. It always felt like it after a conversation with the Regicide.
No more half-measures. No more guilt. I would right this wrong. The Regicide be damned.