The sound of swans squawking in the morning sky made Xiu Juan open her eyes. She rubbed them and sat up in her bed. Slowly slipping onto the cold floor, her gown swayed behind her as she shuffled across the room to dress in plain clothes and pin her long hair up. Soon after, Luli slid the door to her room and walked in.
“Bo is waiting outside for us,” she reported when she saw Xiu Juan already up.
“Wonderful,” Xiu Juan nodded as she got up and smoothed the hair at the sides of her head.
Luli observed her and chuckled, “Don’t you think you’re dressed a little too masculine?”
Xiu Juan looked at Luli and then down at herself. “No?”
“Really?”
“I think I look alright,” Xiu Juan stood up for herself. “Besides, I want to know how the people of Zhao truly are. I won’t get that by dressing up and showing them that I’m obviously the Empress,” she explained.
“Oh,” Luli nodded.
“Things will be more interesting this way,” Xiu Juan smiled as she walked out of her chamber.
In the hallway, Xiu Juan took a sudden turn and confused Luli.
“Where are you going? I thought the way to outside was this way,” she scurried after Xiu Juan.
“Yes, but I just have one more thing I need to do before we leave,” she responded as she rushed her way toward the kitchen.
Luli watched her as she scurried for herbs.
“Luli, bring me water and a pot,” Xiu Juan ordered.
Luli nodded, “Yes, yes!”
Xiu Juan ground the tea leaves slightly and brewed them with the hot water Luli prepared. She poured them into a kettle, grabbed a cup, and hurried to Jinhai’s side of the palace. When Xiu Juan neared the study she heard the concubines stirring in the hallway opposite to theirs and grabbed Luli, quickly running past their path to avoid them. Xiu Juan did not want to stop for any meaningless small talk.
Inside Jinhai’s study, she placed the hot kettle on top of his table like she did every morning before.
Luli watched and lowered her shoulders, not understanding why Xiu Juan even bothered.
“Xiu Juan,” she said softly, “why do you keep doing this when you know he’ll just let it go cold?”
“In hopes of doing it enough that he will give in to me,” Xiu Juan smiled.
Outside, Bo had their horses ready and laughed when he saw Xiu Juan.
“I never thought I’d see you in plain clothes again! This is a surprise!”
“I told her she looked masculine. Doesn’t she, though?” Luli pointed toward Xiu Juan.
Bo examined Xiu Juan and nodded. “I have to say, yes. But you are still lovely as always, Xiu Juan.”
Xiu Juan smiled at this while Luli yelled at him to lower his voice and reminded him to address her as ‘Empress’.
“Oh, stop it guys. I’m comfortable,” Xiu Juan shrugged them off and grinned while she mounted her white horse. “I suppose you already know Zhao like the back of your hand, Bo? Can I trust you to lead us today?”
Bo smiled from ear to ear. “Yes, you can place your trust me, Empress!” He beamed proudly. He climbed onto his horse and yanked the reins to lead them down to the village. “We’ll take a path in the back I discovered. That way people won’t see you leave the palace and it avoids the city folks, Xiu Juan,” Bo grinned at her and she nodded and smiled in return.
As they rode down from the palace and the wind brushed through their faces, Xiu Juan turned her head in every direction and watched the mountains grow taller as they descended from them. She smiled at the cranes that emerged from the clouds that draped around the mountains and then into the sunlight that kissed them. The clouds seemed to dust away at the side and bowed to them when they swept their wings against it.
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At the lake, she saw fish jumping and seagulls swarming around boats. Children were already awake and giggling with their parents who were washing laundry while they smashed spheres of water they threw into the air. As they dove down into the steep part of the mountain, they picked up in pace and Shan’s mane brushed against Xiu Juan’s chest as she lowered herself into a proper position for the speed. Closely above them, white birds flew and piped at their sight. Xiu Juan lifted her head and watched them fly near over their heads as they were also diving down from the mountain. She lifted one hand up and attempted to touch one of them by her but all was interrupted by a bird with such large wingspan that burst from behind her.
She caught her breath at the sight of a magnificent female heron. It soared effortlessly by her and this time Xiu Juan felt as though she was flying with it. Before reaching the bottom of the mountain and into the grassy hills, the heron flew fast ahead and above all of the white birds as if it were leading them and soon disappeared into the glowing sky. Touched by such divine experience her heart was unable to contain the enchantment and, with her eyes still locked onto the sky, her tears drew their way when they reached the grassy bottom.
Dropping their horses off by a shaded area by a stream, Bo led them through a little forest that was a short cut to the village. After walking though a trench, they arrived to children that sped past them and almost ran into Xiu Juan.
“Hey, watch it!” Bo yelled after them.
Xiu Juan only smiled at them and continued on. Walking along the long pathway that went through the village, Xiu Juan watched each person do their daily duties and nodded her head at them, smiling warmly. Just up ahead, approaching them was an elderly woman carrying a large load of lumber on her back. Struggling with the heavy weight, Xiu Juan rushed to her.
“Ma’am, let me help you,” Xiu Juan said kindly. “Bo, come here!”
The little old lady observed Bo’s uniform and looked at him nervously. He and Luli came around behind her and took the heavy load off of her shoulders. Bo, himself, struggled with it.
“Please, don’t mind me! I can do it. I can!” She insisted.
“It’s alright, ma’am,” Bo smiled at her.
She looked back at Xiu Juan who touched her shoulder and spoke to her.
“Where’s your house, ma’am? We can help you take this there,” Xiu Juan looked at her warmly.
“Um, it’s over there,” she pointed, still shy of them.
Xiu Juan looked and then nodded at Bo. When they reached her house, the old lady bowed again and again to Bo knowing he was from the palace. She turned to Xiu Juan and Luli and thanked them dearly.
Xiu Juan glanced inside the little house and noticed it was quiet and empty.
“No children?” Xiu Juan asked.
“Oh, no,” she chuckled. “Just me and my old man.”
“Oh? Your husband is here?” Xiu Juan returned her eyes to the old lady.
She smiled and shook her head. “Oh no. He’s at the battlefield. It’s just me now.”
“Oh, I see,” Xiu Juan said softly. She looked at the pile of lumber she was carrying. “Seems an awful lot to be carrying just for yourself,” Xiu Juan smiled at her.
The old lady shook her head again, “Oh they’re not for me, child!” She giggled at the thought. “I sell these to support myself and my husband.”
Xiu Juan dropped her shoulders. “You sell firewood to help your husband?”
“I do what I can. I don’t grow enough crops to sell in order to make money,” she looked down. “You know how taxes are here. It’s very heavy. But it is only to help with the war.”
“Oh…I did not know,” Xiu Juan lowered her eyes at the discovery.
“Oh, are you a traveler?” she asked.
“Something like that,” Xiu Juan tucked a stray hair behind her ears.
Bo’s eyes were wide looking at the firewood. “You do this every day?”
“Eh, I don’t think much of it,” she said. She shuffled through her pockets and pulled out three small fruits. “It’s not much, but I wanted to thank you in some way that I could. I would’ve paid you but I’m afraid I didn’t make much money today.”
Xiu Juan stopped her and gently held her hands. “No. Keep it. We did this out of courtesy, not to gain something out of it.”
The old lady looked at Xiu Juan and her eyes grew big. “Miss, I don’t understand.”
“You keep your fruits. You need it more than we do,” Xiu Juan said, her eyes kind.
“How will I thank you?” She asked.
“Let me help you,” Xiu Juan proposed. “I have access to a horse and a wagon. They will help you with your lumber business. And with my connections, you can sell your lumber in the market for more use than just firewood.”
The old lady trembled, “A horse? A wagon?” She looked at Bo and Luli. “Who are you?”
“Well,” Xiu Juan paused, “my close friends call me Xiu Juan,” she simply smiled.
“Xiu Juan,” she began to weep. “You come to me like a goddess from heaven,” she fell onto her knees and bowed to her, her worn hands pressed against each other as she praised Xiu Juan.
Xiu Juan wrapped her arm around her. “May I ask your name, ma’am?”
“Lin,” she replied, wiping her nose.
“Ms Lin,” Xiu Juan repeated. “You are very brave to be so strong for your husband. That’s admirable.”
Ms Lin smiled, “You are very kind Xiu Juan. Is everyone from where you came from like you?”
Xiu Juan thought about her home, Qin. “I would love to say so, Ms Lin. I would very much love to say so.”
When they left her house, Ms Lin waved at them till they were too far from her sight.
“So we are bringing her a horse and a wagon. First person you meet and you’re already helping them, Xiu Juan,” Bo said as he jotted down the note on his pad.
“No one should be taxed so heavily when they cannot even make a living for themselves,” Xiu Juan frowned.
Bo and Luli nodded, recalling Ms Lin’s little empty house that no one helped her clean up.
“Why did you not tell her who you were?” Bo asked.
“She didn’t need to know. All she needed to know was that there is still someone in this world looking out to help her,” Xiu Juan responded.
They continued on into the village and anything they saw that needed help with, they went out of their way to aid. The children seemed to really know Bo as they saw him often. When meeting Xiu Juan, they became shy until she sang their rhyme songs with them.
“You have a very beautiful voice, Miss Xiu Juan,” a little girl pulled on her sleeve and said softly to her. The other children nodded in agreement.
“Thank you,” Xiu Juan smiled.
“Can you come sing with us every day?” A little boy asked.
Bo and Luli turned to Xiu Juan.
“Yes, of course I can!” Xiu Juan smiled cheerfully.
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They all cheered and asked for more songs.
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“I haven’t heard you sing since we arrived in Zhao,” Luli smiled happily. “It’s nice to hear your voice again.”
Xiu Juan beamed with joy and sang happily.
“Miss Xiu Juan has the most beautiful voice in all of Zhao!” A boy shouted.
“No! In all of China!” A girl chimed.
They cheered together in agreement.
“And the most beautiful!” Another girl yelled.
All of the girls clapped and cheered but the boys were too embarrassed to say anything so instead they grinned from ear to ear shyly. Except for Bo. He cheered the loudest at the statement. Everyone turned their eyes to him and he froze in his steps. Xiu Juan looked at him, surprised.
Bo blushed and rubbed his head. “I…well…I always thought so,” Bo stammered, “there’s no deny in that.”
Luli smiled while trying to hold in her giggles with the children.
“Your beauty grows on people and it does not cease. It’s possessing. I would know,” he confessed. “You have something about you, Xiu Juan.”
Xiu Juan exhaled. She didn’t know what to say. She nudged the kids to run on and Luli left with them, leaving Xiu Juan alone with Bo.
Standing at the top of the hill with the wind combing through the tall grass, Bo stood silently before Xiu Juan.
“I…I’m sorry I didn’t know,” Xiu Juan managed to say. “I’m not sure what to say in these kinds of situations.”
Bo chuckled and Xiu Juan smiled nervously, tucking her hair behind her ear again.
“Whatever may happen in the future, I will never regret the day I got caught by you,” Bo looked at Xiu Juan. “Never.”
Xiu Juan raised her eyes to Bo. “I’m happy to hear that.”
Bo nodded. “I wish nothing but happiness for you. I hope you achieve your wishes in the end and soar away from all of this.”
Xiu Juan’s eyes grew slightly bigger. “Thank you, Bo.” She went over and gave him a hug. “Thank you for being here with me.”
Bo was stunned being so near Xiu Juan but soon returned her hug and held her tightly. He smelled plum blossoms in the air and opened his eyes.
“Ying-tai is a blessed man,” Bo spoke suddenly.
Xiu Juan opened her eyes. She pulled back and looked at Bo. He grinned and continued on toward the children and Luli. Before getting too far to be heard, he mentioned out loud to Xiu Juan, “You carry that thing with you every day and it does not look a day worn. That says a lot about your feelings for that man.”
Xiu Juan looked down at Ying-tai’s charm that peeked through her layers. She smiled at the thought and tucked it back in and hurried after everyone else.
It was getting extremely hot as the sun was at its highest when they arrived at the lakeside. There, Xiu Juan, Luli, and Bo met with many fishermen. They borrowed a boat and sailed off. Xiu Juan stared at the calm lake and breathed evenly. As Bo rowed the boat, Xiu Juan dipped her fingers in the still lake that mirrored everything above its surface and caused a trail of ripples; making it appear as though it were a silk cloth wavering in the breeze. They floated through coves and looked up at the tall rocks above them. They passed by other fishermen and nodded at them. When they reached a spot they could fish at, they fished in tranquility under the coves. The water was so clear, fish could be seen swimming along the trenches underwater.
“This is definitely a beautiful place,” Xiu Juan sighed.
Luli nodded, “Indeed.”
Back at the shore, they unloaded their fish and handed them out to the villagers who did not catch much for the market. Their faces were full of astonishment when they saw how big the fish they caught were.
“Why do you give us your fish?” A fisherman asked.
“We just wanted to help,” Bo replied.
“What of yourself?” Another one asked, worried.
Xiu Juan only smiled at them. “Do you need help carrying these to the market?”
“Oh no,” they smiled. “You’ve done enough for us already!”
“Oh, I insist,” Xiu Juan said as she gathered her things. “I would love to see the market here.”
They looked at her. “So where did you say you were from?”
Xiu Juan paused in her steps.
Luli jumped in and beamed to them, “From the west of here.”
Xiu Juan nodded, “Yes.”
“Ah,” they nodded in return.
Entering the market, Xiu Juan was almost overwhelmed by the crowded city. They recognized some of the people they helped earlier that morning and waved at them as they nodded in return. After they helped the fishermen set up their stand, they went to visit other booths and sampled some of their products. One lady they helped earlier called them over to look at her collection of jewelry and silk. She introduced herself as Mei; was lovely and petite and seemed to jump at every little thing. She was around Luli’s age.
“You have a beautiful selection here,” Xiu Juan complimented.
Mei blushed. “Why, thank you! My husband used to help me with my embroidery and help me make jewelry but now that he’s gone I do this all by myself. So, I thank you for the praise!”
Xiu Juan looked at her. “How long has he been gone to battle?”
“Oh, 3 years, 5 months, and 21 days,” Mei sighed but still tried to sound cheery in front of them.
“You’ve been counting?” Xiu Juan smiled sympathetically.
“Yeah. When you love someone it’s like that,” Mei grinned and blushed. “Have you ever loved someone so much?” She giggled bashfully.
Xiu Juan lowered her eyes and thought to herself. She swerved Mei’s question, “I admire women like you.”
Mei shook her head while she laid out her silk, “No. There’s nothing admirable about me. I’m just here sitting in a booth while he’s fighting out there. He faces death every minute just so I can have a day of peace.”
“But us women are admirable too,” Xiu Juan walked up to her. “Just because we aren’t out there watching blood spill doesn’t mean we aren’t doing anything brave! We have our own battles we are fighting. Maintaining the home they love takes diligence. Praying for them takes a great amount of faith. Loyally waiting for them takes strength. Only strong people can have that kind of perseverance.”
Mei stared at her wide-eyed, “Yes, you’re right!” She agreed. “I never thought of it that way.” She smiled widely and took Xiu Juan’s hands in hers. “You are the only person besides my husband that gives me courage. Thank you!”
Xiu Juan smiled at her warmly and let her start her day of work. She entered Mei’s small shop and looked around to marvel at the fabrics.
“You like them, huh?” She beamed.
“The weaving is so precise and so delicately done. It feels so light on my skin,” Xiu Juan touched them. It felt familiar.
Mei proudly grinned, “My silk is actually used in the palace!”
Xiu Juan spun around, “Really? Mei, that’s amazing!”
“Yes! People from the palace actually come by here and purchase my silk for the clothes that will be made for the royal family.”
“You are very talented,” Xiu Juan praised.
There were voices outside that Xiu Juan recognized and she turned her head to them. As she guessed, they were the concubines being escorted by imperial guards. She quickly hid her face. Ngo Kwang noticed a person inside the shop other than Mei but ignored it.
“Good afternoon, my lady!” Mei greeted her. She seemed to know Ngo Kwang well.
“I’ve come as I promised,” Ngo Kwang said, looking down at Mei. “I trust you have the silk I wanted?”
“Yes, yes! I do!” Mei replied nervously. She pulled out a box and opened it for Ngo Kwang to observe. It was a red fabric that shimmered in the light.
“Spectacular,” Ngo Kwang gaped as she ran her slender fingers through the woven threads. “I’m glad to see that some peasants can still do some things right.”
Xiu Juan frowned at the statement.
“I want the piece completed three days before the palace’s gala.”
The gala? Xiu Juan wondered.
“Of course,” Mei bowed her head.
“Good,” Ngo Kwang said while the other concubines purchased several pieces of gold jewelry and jade. “You will get your pay when the gown is completed.”
Mei looked up, “But you said you would pay me half the price today. The tax collectors come tomorrow.”
Ngo Kwang glared at her. “I said when the gown is completed! Do you crave another lesson from my left hand?”
Mei sealed her lips and lowered her head cowardly.
“If you care about your husband, who’s in a dirty battlefield as we speak, you will find a way to work something out, won’t you?” Ngo Kwang talked to Mei like she was a child while she bent down to her.
Mei only nodded. After they did their business, Ngo Kwang called the ladies and went elsewhere to spend the emperor’s money.
Xiu Juan immediately stepped out and glared after Ngo Kwang. “That was very rude of her. She shouldn’t feel so entitled to put people down like that. She’s nothing but a mere concubine!” Xiu Juan spat.
Mei raised her eyes to Xiu Juan. “You know Ngo Kwang?”
Xiu Juan caught herself. “Ah, well her name is widely known around here, isn’t it?”
Mei shrugged. “I guess. I mean she is titled as the most beautiful in Zhao. That’s why she was first in line to marry the emperor. But after the new empress arrived, all of that changed for her. That’s why there are rumors saying she hates the new Empress.”
Xiu Juan turned to Mei. “People say that?”
Mei nodded.
“Huh,” Xiu Juan placed a hand on her waist and leaned on a table by her.
“You’re right though. She isn’t so kind,” Mei said softly.
“You can add in that she is quite vain. Her and the emperor would have went so well together,” Xiu Juan scoffed lightly.
Mei giggled. “I hope the new empress is lovely and unlike the late empress dowager.”
Xiu Juan raised her head.
“A person like me may never get the chance to meet her, but I’ll die happy knowing she was a kindhearted person.”
Xiu Juan smiled warmly. “She’ll be happy to know that.”
“Yeah?” Mei turned to Xiu Juan.
“I’m sure of it,” Xiu Juan assured. “So, what is this gala she was talking about?”
Mei’s eyes lit up. “Oh, it’s this beautiful and luxurious festival the palace holds annually. It’s a celebration of tribute for our beloved state: Zhao.” Mei sighed, “If only I could see it just one time.”
“Why can’t you go?” Xiu Juan asked.
Mei laughed. “Only the rich can afford to attend, silly!”
“Oh.” Xiu Juan furrowed her brows. This meant she had to be around a lot of people she did not know.
“So Ngo Kwang wants her gown to be made by you?”
“Yeah. Only me because apparently my work is famous and I’m usually booked by this time of season because of the gala,” Mei said as she folded her displays.
“Well, she better be more respectful, shouldn’t she?” Xiu Juan raised her eyebrow.
“It’s okay. If I talk out of line, she’ll strike me,” she rubbed her face.
Xiu Juan huffed. “Mei, you are the sweetest person and I don’t want you to become bitter because some person can’t show the decency of a human being. Do not let people like that abuse their power over you. They are not gods. You are a human being just like they are. Respect yourself or you will forever be trampled on. You are worthy. Know this.”
Mei widened her eyes and tears welled up. “You sound just like my husband!” She cried. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for your advice. Yes, I will remember your words.” She wiped her face with her handkerchief. “You are very kind, Xiu Juan. You have something about you. You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?”
“I’m no different from you,” Xiu Juan grinned kindly. She turned her face to the front of the shop when Luli and Bo brought her tea, grilled fish, and some dumplings for both her and Mei.
“The fishermen grilled some fresh fish just for you!” Luli’s face was bright.
Xiu Juan smiled and poured herself a cup of tea and grabbed the skewered fish. She then faced the fishermen at the other end of the marketplace and raised her cup to them to thank them. They raised their cup in return and smiled brightly at her.
That evening they returned to the palace. After sliding past people undetected, Xiu Juan and Luli slumped onto the hardwood floor when they finally reached Xiu Juan’s chamber.
“Ahhh, what a day,” Xiu Juan stretched. “I definitely need a bath.”
“You definitely did a lot today. What do you think?” Luli yawned.
“We did a lot today. It was fulfilling for the first day. The people of Zhao are very welcoming when you give the effort to show them you care,” Xiu Juan thought of the people she met.
“The country people at least,” Luli corrected.
Xiu Juan turned her head to Luli and laughed, “Yes, the country people at the least.”
Luli laughed along. “Ahhh, well I’m going to turn in. We have another big day tomorrow. I’ll see you in the morning,” Luli yawned again.
“Yes, see you in the morning, Luli. Good night,” Xiu Juan turned her head to Luli as she waved and slid the door shut behind her.
Xiu Juan, too, got up and took a hot bath. Sitting in her tub with her eyes closed, she recalled every face she met that day and a little something inside of her lit up.
There are kind people everywhere. Even in the most treacherous of places, if you look you’ll find them. She opened her eyes. How do we just burn places down to the ground with some of the innocent that are only trying to make a living inside? This is home to them just how Qin is home to me. And some people are deathly afraid of Qin. Xiu Juan raised her hand up and rubbed between her eyes. Am I getting myself in too deep?
She got out of the tub, dried her hair, and got dressed in her long white robe. Before heading to her bed, she walked out of her chamber to do one last thing. She lit a lamp and made her way to Jinhai’s study to collect the tea set she placed inside that morning. When she arrived inside the study and picked the kettle up, she wasn’t even surprised to find it still full. On her way out, she saw Ngo Kwang with her fellow concubines.
Ugh. She thought. Here we go with the small talk.
One of the ladies saw Xiu Juan and stopped. Ngo Kwang noticed and turned her head to her. They looked at her from the corner of their eyes, examining her.
“Empress,” the ladies bowed to her only to be polite. Ngo Kwang bowed too.
“Well I almost didn’t recognize who it was lurking around Jinhai’s sanctuary,” Ngo Kwang commented. “You actually look like a woman with your hair down and long white robe dragging behind you,” she observed Xiu Juan’s hair that was far longer than her own.
“Why, thank you, Ngo Kwang,” Xiu Juan said while wondering why Ngo Kwang addressed Jinhai by his first name. “And this is his sanctuary?” Xiu Juan asked, looking back at his study area.
“Yes. He likes to be there alone and finds a peace of mind there. I would know,” Ngo Kwang said in a prideful tone.
“Huh,” Xiu Juan replied.
Jinhai was walking to his chamber and heard the ladies talking. Not wanting to join in with them, he stood in the white corridor and blew out his lamp so he wouldn’t be noticed. He was going to slip past them swiftly into his chamber unnoticed.
“You stay with him often during his studies, I assume?” Xiu Juan looked at Ngo Kwang.
“Is there something wrong with that?” Ngo Kwang tilted her head.
“She has the right to just as you do,” one of the concubines stood up for Ngo Kwang.
“Of course,” Xiu Juan said. “And being with him all the time while he studies, do you learn anything?”
“What?” Ngo Kwang raises her eyebrow.
“I’m just curious,” Xiu Juan stepped toward them. “Staying with him with any chance you get during the day and especially when he is in his studies because that is the longest time you get with him since he never invites you to bed…” Xiu Juan continued.
“How dare you,” Ngo Kwang furrowed her brows at Xiu Juan.
“…you should be able to know the basic studies: Classic Poetry, art…”
“Well of course,” Ngo Kwang raised her head high.
“Doctrine of the Mean, Analects, Book of Rites,” Xiu Juan ignored Ngo Kwang's scorn. She wasn’t going to let her rude act toward Mei go easily. “These are the great teachings that educate us to be self-disciplined, sincere, lenient, and respectful. Knowing this, you will be more tolerant to others: honoring those higher than you and caring for those lower than you. You will see people as the priceless foundation of your country and not just pawns.”
Xiu Juan remembered these teachings from reading over Ying-tai’s shoulder when they were children. Sometimes he read it out loud while he studied and she laid on the porch listening to his voice.
Jinhai was surprised to learn of Xiu Juan’s familiarity with culture and was pleased by this. He smiled lightly.
Ngo Kwang looked away from Xiu Juan. The other concubines glared at her and rubbed Ngo Kwang's back to calm her.
“Huh,” Ngo Kwang scoffed. “Despite being a know-it-all you still can’t manage to communicate with your spouse like civilized people.”
Xiu Juan exhaled and gripped her lamp tighter.
“You may know your books but empty is a person’s life who cannot achieve love. Or maybe I would rather say: achieve something as simple as not being able to have someone drink from a kettle you specially prepare for them every morning?”
The concubines burst out in laughter and Ngo Kwang walked off with the last words.
Oh, a petal-less flower I am for I cannot even contain
a small simple thing like love.
Oh, Humanity casts a pity stare and puts me into shame!
Such pity is heard above!
Ngo Kwang sang as she trailed away and her friends laughed as they followed her, applauding her for her act of shameless mockery.
Xiu Juan looked at her kettle and felt humiliation. Jinhai lowered his eyes and, for the first time in his life, felt sorry for someone. He listened to Xiu Juan’s footsteps and to the lid of the kettle open. She poured the cold tea out onto a pot of flowers and placed the lid back onto the kettle. With her head lowered, she walked toward the direction of Jinhai to her chamber and he continued to listen to each of her footsteps proceed forward and the silk of her weightless white gown brush against the floor.
The glow from her lamp pressed itself against the white walls in the corridor he was standing in and stretched out to touch him. He raised his eyes and watched Xiu Juan flow past him like a petal in the wind. As she fluttered away, she pulled the light that almost touched Jinhai’s face away into the darkness while it continued to hold out its warm hand to him as it descended from his presence. When the glow of Xiu Juan’s lamp could no longer be seen, Jinhai walked out of the white corridor and turned his eyes toward the direction she disappeared into. He lifted his head to the night sky that glittered down unto him and took in a deep breath. Something sweet was in the air. He closed his eyes at the pleasant fragrance.
Plum blossoms, he thought to himself.