Xiu Juan awoke to the sound of the birds chirping in her garden. Rising from her bed, she lowered her shoulders and sighed as she realized her wedding was just three days away. She got into her dark purple robe and slid open the paper screen door to let in the morning air. She stood by the screen door and crossed her arms while facing the rising sun, her long dark hair hanging loosely over her shoulders and her dark robe spreading far behind her.
As the sun rose, the light glimmered against the dew that hung lightly on each blade of grass and leaves all across the garden. The quietness was interrupted by a subtle noise and then Xiu Juan flinched when she heard a rather loud splash from her pond. She immediately turned her head toward the sound and saw a female heron emerge from the body of water with a fish in its beak. It stood so quietly with Xiu Juan, she didn’t even notice it was inside her garden with her all this time. As it spread its wing and gracefully leapt high into the red sky, a breeze seeped into her patio and swept against her cheek and sounded her wind chime. Catching her long hair floating in the breeze with her fingers, she tucked it behind her ears and continued to look at the female heron. Her heart ached as she watched it soar higher and higher.
Oh, heron. How lucky you are to drift according to your heart’s desire. If only you could lend me your wings so I can fly high away from here and to where my heart so calls for! Xiu Juan yearned.
Xiu Juan listened to the many servants in the palace move about and turned her head when she heard her own door slide open. Luli entered and bowed when she saw that Xiu Juan was already awake. She raised her eyes back unto Xiu Juan who smiled lightly at her. Beautiful and graceful, she looked like a painting sitting against the soft sunray. The only thing that did not sit right in the picture, though, was the immense sorrow she had in her eyes.
“Good morning, Xiu Juan,” Luli greeted softly, “I didn’t know you were up already.”
Xiu Juan smiled at Luli then returned her gaze to her garden. “I couldn’t sleep anymore.”
“Is the wedding stressing you?” Luli asked.
Xiu Juan paused. She took a deep breath and huffed. “It seems as though my brother is enjoying this more than I. It’s as if it’s his very own wedding.” Xiu Juan turned around and walked back into her room. “Well, I guess we could say it practically is.”
Luli lowered her head. Xiu Juan sat down on her chair and Luli began to comb through her long silky hair.
“Ah, one of Sir Guozhi’s servants came to me and told me to tell you that Sir Guozhi wanted to see you,” Luli informed Xiu Juan.
Xiu Juan raised her eyes. “Oh? I’ll go to him as soon as I get dressed.”
Luli nodded and pinned the upper half of Xiu Juan’s hair loosely with a golden barrette that had small tinkling jewels dangling long below it. Xiu Juan got up from her chair after tinting her lips pink and got dressed in her black attire with white and golden hems. Luli helped crease each fold of the dress in place and spread out the train of the robe so it lied neatly out behind Xiu Juan. Luli started to the door but when she turned around, she saw that Xiu Juan did not follow. She watched her walk to her desk and ever so gently pick up the charm Ying-tai had gifted her. Xiu Juan tied it tightly onto her sash and caressed it into place and covered it with her heavy robe.
“I’m ready,” Xiu Juan said as she raised her head up and looked at Luli.
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Luli felt a pang of hurt when she saw how much care Xiu Juan had for a mere object only because it once belonged to Ying-tai. “Xiu Juan,” she muttered softly, dropping her shoulders.
At Sir Guozhi’s door, Luli announced Xiu Juan’s arrival. Immediately, the door slid open and two servants led them in. Luli walked into the room first and bowed to Sir Guozhi.
“Sir Guozhi,” Luli greeted. “Grand Princess Xiu Juan is here, as you called for.”
“Ah, Luli,” Sir Guozhi greeted Luli with a warm smile and opened arms. “Look at how you’ve grown! You sure have become a decent young woman!”
Luli blushed, “Sir Guozhi is too kind.” She turned to the side and faced the door. “Grand Princess is waiting.”
“Ah, yes. Tell her to come in.”
Luli left and soon after, Xiu Juan walked in. He bowed as soon as he laid his eyes on her and she promptly returned the gesture.
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“Oh, child,” Sir Guozhi sighed while he looked at Xiu Juan who held such splendor that one would be afraid a wind would sweep it away for only such grace existed in a world of dreams. “To think that such exquisite beauty is to be thrown into a trench of wolves.”
Xiu Juan only smiled warmly, took Sir Guozhi’s old hands into hers and led him to sit down. After situating herself with the help of Luli spreading out the layers of her robe behind her, Xiu Juan poured them both a cup of freshly brewed tea.
“You called for me, Sir Guozhi?” Xiu Juan wondered about his reasonings for the summon as she handed Sir Guozhi his teacup. “On rare occasions would you ever want to see a meager person like myself. You are always too busy. What an exceptional day it is,” Xiu Juan smiled.
Sir Guozhi chuckled, “Your company is always a blessing to have. You know you are welcome here whenever you want to visit.” He sipped his tea then put it down lightly. “I just wanted to see you before your wedding. I know after tonight, you will be too busy for me to see you. And when you become Empress of Zhao, you might not even have tea with an insignificant person such as myself.”
Xiu Juan shook her head and placed her hand on top of his. “Please don’t say that. You were my father’s great friend. For that, I will forever be grateful. Near or far, I will always try to make my way to see you. Even if it’s just for one small cup of tea.”
Sir Guozhi smiled and patted Xiu Juan’s hand. “How are you feeling, child?”
“Restless,” Xiu Juan sighed, wrapping her hands around her warm cup.
“Oh? Why is that?” Sir Guozhi raised his cup to his lips.
Xiu Juan hesitated. “I have to admit…I am afraid,” she squeezed her cup. “But when I think of the opportunities that will lie in my hands once I become their Empress, I am able to gather the strength to proceed with this marriage once again.”
“Opportunities?” Sir Guozhi grew curious.
“Preventing Zhao from harming Qin,” Xiu Juan clarified. She looked out of the opened screen doors, “I want to protect the people I love that reside here…and the people out there that fight to keep this place standing.”
Sir Guozhi looked at Xiu Juan whose eyes were lost in thoughts.
“Zhao is a very strong empire, yes,” Sir Guozhi nodded as he poured himself another cup of tea. “People may speak ill of Zhao and give tales of terror about the Zhao Emperor, but do not tremble, child,” he paused to drink the fresh serving of tea in his teacup. “The Emperor of Zhao is very young but he is also very wise. If he is the man I perceive him to be, with your ways, you may be able to touch his heart with the thoughts of peace. I see potential in you.”
“Sir Guozhi,” Xiu Juan grew lightly confident and relaxed her posture, “thank you.”
Sir Guozhi nodded at her. “Ah, also, I received a letter from Ying-tai.”
Xiu Juan’s eyes instantly lit up. “What did he say?”
“He wrote to tell us that the conquer of Qinan was a success. They will soon head to Shouchun.”
Even though it was just a letter updating his conquests, Xiu Juan was still happy to hear words from Ying-tai.
“How wonderful,” she smiled.
“I will write to him soon,” Sir Guozhi said. “Let him know of what’s happening around the palace.”
Xiu Juan’s smile dimmed. “Ah, Sir Guozhi,” she began. “Perhaps you will want to write about how Qin and the people are. Being so far away from home for such a long amount of a time, surely a soldier who has been fighting so hard for his homeland would want to hear more about how it’s holding up. Tell him how the trees are greener, the way the sounds from mountains sing in the morning, how awaiting housewives are soon to harvest the rice from the rice patties, and how the children are growing up with the marvelous tales of their heroic fathers. Send words of comfort by telling them that they are not forgotten.”
Sir Guozhi thought and chuckled, pleased. “Perhaps you’re right, Princess.”
Sir Guozhi got up and walked to his desk. He pulled out paper, a brush, and ink and returned to the table. When he sat down and laid the paper out, he looked at Xiu Juan.
“Did you want to say anything to him?” He asked.
Xiu Juan raised her eyes to him. She only smiled and shook her head.
“Your words will suffice,” she said, hiding her longing heart in her sleeve.
While Sir Guozhi wrote his letter to Ying-tai, Xiu Juan sat quietly as she placed her eyes on each word on the rice paper. Sir Guozhi stopped midway in the silence and sighed.
“Princess Xiu Juan,” Sir Guozhi began. “I will never get to ask this of you again so I will take my chance now to ask.”
“Of course,” Xiu Juan replied.
“Sing for this old man one last time. The way you used to for your father and me, as a Grand Princess of Qin,” he requested.
Xiu Juan’s eyes welled up as she nodded her head. “Yes. Of course, Sir Guozhi. If you will play your erhu with me the way you used to for my father and me.”
Sir Guozhi nodded and signaled the servants to bring in his old erhu. Once he held the instrument in his hands, he got up and sat by the screen doors to tune it. He looked out unto the sky and as he played away, he closed his eyes.
Still kneeling by the table and wiping away the little tears that leaked out, Xiu Juan began to sing a song.
You gave my heart an impenetrable riddle
I could not play away with my little fiddle
Ah, but one thing is for certain though
You’re worth far more than silver and gold
An inevitable crimson day calls hither
The jovial spirits await as I wither
Ah, as I trace my hushed footsteps out
You’d gift me the sun and kept the clouds
The answer to the impenetrable riddle
Concealed in your sleeve, sounded by your dear fiddle
In my palanquin, I hear you intone
I’m worth far more than silver and gold
Xiu Juan finished singing and turned her head to Sir Guozhi who sat quietly. His eyes were still closed, but she saw a shimmer on his cheek. He had been weeping silently. Not daring to say a word to a weeping man, she kept quiet till the steam from the teapot diminished.
“The palace will be a lot less merry without you, Grand Princess Xiu Juan,” Sir Guozhi sighed.
Xiu Juan raised her head and watched Sir Guozhi put down his erhu and silently stare off into the distance.