The sludge that made up the creature’s body constantly shifted and bubbled like a hag’s potion. It was unpleasant to look at.

“I am willing to listen to you since Elandris requested it. But that doesn’t mean that you are safe. You are still dangerous and did horrible stuff. Also if you try something funny, I’ll send you back to the ice age so don’t.”

Gökbörü growled and released waves of cold air to emphasize my point. Honestly, I should have just killed it and get it over with. That thing was too far gone from his elven origin. Its body was made out of sludge barely resembling the shape of Nidhogg. I was sure that its mind was also as twisted as its body.

“Why?”

Parts of its body fell to the ground. I expected it to rejoin to main body but it stood motionless. Perhaps its ability to divide and rejoin was nearing its limit.

“I absorbed countless elementals. I trained tirelessly. I sacrificed my honor and dignity as an elf! Why? Why? How are you stronger than me? Why can’t I be as strong as you?”

Cyclara looked at the shouting creature with a mix of disgust and hatred. Nereida on the other hand was hiding behind guilty and ashamed-looking Elandris. Lily and Methild didn’t seem to share his feelings as they looked ready to attack if it tried something funny.

“Why do you seek strength?”

I asked to understand its question better. It made a noise similar to laughing.

“Because I wasn’t born with it! When every other kid called their elementals, I couldn’t! I had nearly no mana! I couldn’t land a target even though I trained until my hands were torn!”

The creature's desperate pleas echoed through the battlefield, its voice filled with anguish and frustration. It was clear that its path to darkness had been paved with envy and resentment, fueled by a desire for power that ultimately led to its downfall. How sad.

I felt no pity for the son of a bitch.

“You already have the answer then.”

The creature's form quivered, its sludgy mass shifting uneasily as if it was surprised. I stabbed my spear to the ground and raised my hand high. My body was itching probably because of the scars healing.

“The power you want is nothing but the flesh and skin. Tell me, can you have strong flesh and skin without a proper skeleton? Heart?”

The creature remained silent, its form trembling with uncertainty though I wasn’t sure if it was because my words had struck a chord within it or if it was just confused.

“Morals. Ideals. Dreams. Why we do things.”

I winced, not because of pain or exhaustion but because I realized that my words were basically the same as Bolverk’s. I was sure he would be laughing his ass off if he heard me.

“They make the skeleton of our power. Fighting for money. Fighting for survival. Fighting for the weak. Same motions, same killing yet they are so different from each other.”

I sighed deeply.

“You seek power for yourself out of envy and inferiority. That’s probably the weakest and shallowest reason you could ever fight for.”

The creature's form seemed to sag even further, its sludgy mass quivering with what I hoped was shame and resignation.

“I saw countless tragedies. I saw my own family get eaten as I got dragged away to safety by soldiers. I saw life leave a man’s eyes as he looked at a letter from his wife. I saw kids no older than my late sister chase and catch bugs so they could fill their stomachs. The world is a place filled with sorrow and misery.”

A lump started to form in my throat as the countless things flashed in my mind. I took a deep breath and loosened my grip on my sword as my hand was whitened due to how hard I was gripping it.

“I don’t think that I can just end all the suffering. But I can lessen it. It is something that’s bigger than me, much much greater. That’s why I can’t stop. It doesn’t matter if I am afraid, hurt, or tired. I will fight.”

I cleared my throat. Lily looked at me with an expression that clearly conveyed that he wasn’t really a fan of my declaration. I shrugged and continued.

“You only fought for yourself. That’s why when you reach your limit, you couldn't overcome it. You couldn’t get stronger. You had no reason greater than yourself to push yourself more.”

A part of me felt like a hypocrite speaking high and mighty like this since I also fought for myself but that was natural, right? One had to take of their own needs too, I guess.

“No. No. NO!”

The creature started to roar, its form shaking.

“I had to fight for those brats that bullied me for years? I had to take care of this damn tree that didn’t bless me?”

Its mass smashed the ground beneath it, sending chunks of splinters everywhere.

“I knew it was stupid to talk to it!”

Cyclara shouted as she blocked the splinters using her wind.

“You are just like everyone else! You are just making up excuses to stop me from growing stronger!”

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

The creature's words reverberated through the air, its voice filled with bitterness and resentment. It seemed unwilling to accept the truth of its own shortcomings, just as I expected from a power-crazed maniac.

“Okay, calm down, and don’t do something stupid.”

I shouted loudly to make myself heard from its roaring. I pulled my spear free from the ground just in case it attacked. Thankfully, it seemed like it calmed down as its roaring died down slowly.

“Okay, are you ready to continue?”

I asked with a calm and firm voice.

“No.”

It replied with a cold voice. I slowly channeled mana into my weapons, ready to strike if it attacked. Yet I couldn’t move fast enough as its form liquified rapidly, losing what resemblance it had to a solid shape. It covered my entire body while others tried unsuccessfully to intervene. It filled my nose, ears, and mouth. I gagged as the taste and smell of rotten fruit and meat threatened to overwhelm my entire being.

“I will have your power. After that, I will have enough strength to absorb this tree!”

I heard its voice in my head. I felt my consciousness retreat back to my mind as my five senses became muffled more and more. That horrid smell and taste were gone, which I was thankful for. I could say the same for the slimy sensation covering my body. What I wasn’t thankful for was the fact that I couldn’t hear my companion’s worried shouting. It was very worrying.

I opened my eyes and gasped audibly. The scene in front of me was quite familiar. I was under the shadow of a great oak tree. I wasn’t sure how old it was though I faintly remembered my father talking about how my great-grandfather used to set swings on it for him to play. A gentle breeze carried the smell of grass and pollens, causing me to scratch my nose. That same breeze caused the old oak’s branches to slowly sway, making a pleasant sound. The sun was bright and warm despite the thin cotton clouds resembling various animals. I turned back to see hazelnut trees. Shivering about the days I had to work with them, I turned forward. What was in front of me was much more comforting.

“Hello, girl. Long time no see.”

A black cow with a white marking on her forehead rose her head from the grass she was munching and let out a loud moo, causing the massive dog beside me to wake up from his nap and shoot her an annoying look. I walked to her, reaching my hand to her hornless head. My hand sunk into her soft fur as I scratched behind her ears. She pushed her head to me, nearly causing me to fall on my but. I stumbled back and hit the dog, causing him to shoot me an angry look. But he didn’t attack or growl. Of course, he didn’t. He would never do that. Even when I pulled his fur or tried to get on top of him he would only let out a sigh or look annoyed.

“This is my mind. My memories.”

I looked at my body. How could I exist if the space surrounding me was my mind? Was I a separate being from my mind?

“This is quite complicated.”

Was the body I inhabited in this mind space an avatar made to interact with it? I sighed. Well, that kind of question could wait for now. I have to find out why I am here.

“Do you guys have an idea why I am here?”

Both of them kept doing what they were previously doing instead of answering my question. Maybe it was for the better. If they suddenly spoke I probably would have lost my shit.

“It is trying to absorb me. Or something. That doesn’t really explain why I am here but it is something.”

I stretched. Relieving these memories was nice but in the end pointless. I had to move.

“Are you guys coming?”

They looked at me with blank expressions. I left them behind and started to walk. As I walked forward the scenery started to change and become more nonsensical. It snowed while it got hotter and hotter. I went up an elevator only to find myself in a basement. The sky was replaced with concrete and buildings.

I did recognize them though. Or at least some of them. But I felt a sense of familiarity even with the ones I couldn’t recognize. Soon I would also come across people I knew. I mostly avoided them as I couldn’t trust myself to lose focus if I spoke with them again. It was better to not open old wounds. Of course, people weren’t the only things I came across. Bugs were also here. For some reason, they were even more numerous than humans. I wasn’t sure what that meant for my mental state.

“Why it is so vast?”

The place where I finally met the monster was a battlefield. Corpses of enemies and allies were littered on the ground. Blood, guts, and machine oil painted the battlefield. Screams and begging were drowned out by gunfire and explosions. Just seeing this kind of thing was probably traumatizing to a normal person. I wasn’t a normal person. The fact that I already lived through this particular battle also helped. I stepped on the corpses to get to the creature.

“Why it is so vast?”

It asked once again. The creature's voice echoed through the battlefield, its words filled with confusion and desperation. As I approached, I could see its sludgy form quivering with uncertainty, its once-menacing presence now diminished by its vulnerability.