"Does the plaintiff wish to cross-examine the witness?"
"Yes, Your Honor."
**
"The Great Cleanser has remained inactive since the Śūnyatā Fragmentation Era," boomed Dolores, surveying the jurors' perturbed aspects. Whirling toward Daoist Li, she continued, "What galls you, a peak Earthly Monarch, to posit His return?"
Daoist Li donned a mechanical facade. "Inquiries concerning internal scrying methodologies should be directed to the Celtic Tao Tribunal."
"I'll rephrase: What circumstances led you to the assumption that the man in the green robes is the Great Cleanser?"
"I'm not at liberty to say."
"Did your superiors notify you?"
"I am bound by strict oaths barring the divulgence of all classified communications. I can neither confirm nor deny your assertion."
Dolores hummed. "Yet you answered the bunny's—dare I say—intrusive inquiries without censure. Why the favoritism?"
"I answered in accordance with my and the Courts' oaths, Venerable. The defendant navigated my rights to privacy with precision and tact—there was no need for censorship."
"So you deny your reluctance in naming the Great Cleanser?"
"No."
"Then you—"
"I was reluctant," interjected Daoist Li, tone rife with solemnity, "because I feared. Memorialists—many of eminent renown—place the Great Cleanser's genesis at the Limitless realm. I denounced the terminus—publicly!—likely sowing my own terminus in the process."
Mindful of Supreme Judiciary Lugh's warning, the Courts lapsed into dread silence.
Knees quivered, glands perspired, bowels roiled.
Silently.
Snorting, Dolores brusquely reaved the wary stillness: "Compelling performance, you nearly had me fooled ... However! You seemed perfectly content claiming Him as your student, did you not? Or, was that another lie?"
"He was a diligent and studious disciple. Why wouldn't I take pride in having taught Him?"
"You take pride in aiding history's most decorated butcher?"
"I take pride in teaching all my students, Venerable, especially those brilliant few. And, make no mistake, the Great Cleanser is brilliant."
"Of course, He is. Such is the privilege of all who bear the mantle 'Limitless.' So I'll ask you again: What inspires your belief? Why, among the myriad myriad beings, is he the Great Cleanser?"
"Objection! Badgering."
"Sustained."
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"Fine," grumbled Dolores, taking a breath. "Daoist Li, in the absence of proof, why should the jury take you at your word?"
"Which word, exactly? Apologies, my memory isn't what it used to be. My wife oft jokes, 'the longer the beard, the shorter the—what was I saying?'"
Hah—mmph!
Daoist Li beamed as the bailiff yanked a red-faced Daoist from their seat, winking at them in passing.
"You identified the Great Cleanser," bellowed Dolores, fuming. "Why should the jury believe you?"
"That is their prerogative," said Daoist Li, pointing to Exhibit A's deadened expanse. "What inspires my belief, you ask? I do not believe—I know."
Hmph!—"Disgraceful, a teacher who refuses to elaborate—or, have you forgotten that as well? How convenient."
"Objectio—"
"I retract my previous statement. No more questions, Your Honor."
"Does the defendant wish to submit further evidence?"
"No, Your Honor."
Supreme Judiciary Lugh nodded. "Plaintiff, you may proceed with closing arguments."
Placid, Dolores turned to the jury gallery and began her oratory.
"Daoists of the jury, I urge you to re-examine the evidence presented to the Courts. In doing so, you will find a dissonance between my and the defendant's entries: Reliability.
"Recall that I submitted two tangible effects, both of critical import: Exhibits A and B.
"The former, a depiction of my planet's dismal carcass, proved the annihilation of all life spare three. Of those three, one was off-planet, and the other indisposed.
"The latter, a still-frame of the defendant's thwarted folly, established a clear motive—a motive that is yet uncontested.
"On the contrary, the defendant failed to produce an iota of physical evidence, instead resorting to the unaccredited testimony of a doomsayer.
"I'll remind the defendant that the Courts are not a venue for theater but gospels of truth. Esteemed Daoists of the jury, my opponent has made a theater of these Courts; it is up to you to correct their mistake. Thank you."
"Defendant, the floor is yours."
Karma Bunny greeted the jurors with a cordial smile. "Daoists of the jury, today's case has bombarded you with complex legal jargon long enough. My closing argument, like me, is the humble tale of a bunny most simple."
His voice trailed into an ethereal timbre, ferrying the onlookers into a realm of words.
"In a cage of heron height and condor width, there lay a sleeping bunny. They dream through years of solitude, for dreams are all they have. They dream of food and freedom, of a happiness they do not know.
"Then, one fateful eve, they awaken, knowing their dream will end.
"But it doesn't. And, just maybe, it never would.
"The bunny, whose tears it could not stop, chased a future it dared not dream. A future beside a great cleanser who, to it, seemed an even greater man.
"Together, they fled. Together, they dreamed.
"Hiding behind a midnight cowl, a woman chased them down. Her name was Nightmare, and soon, so was the bunny's.
"Caged and helpless, the bunny cried, whimpered, begged. Tears had blessed it once; why not again? And bless they did, for the bunny's jail cell melted to the light of rapture.
"The bunny ran. Nightmare followed.
"Now that bunny stands before you." Crystal teardrops pattered atop Karma Bunny's podium, inking sodden tracks. "I pray to you as I prayed to fate: Please, save me from Nightmare. I—I don't want to go back."
**
Thump.
Karma Bunny, sprawling on a burgundy table, startled awake. Opposite him, a swarthy, mustached man in iron-grey robes straightened a sheaf of parchment.
"Good evening, Daoist Death Bunny. Congratulations on your triumph in court—it's not often we see civil juries vote as a cohort."
"Good evening, Daoist ..."
"Please, call me Prosecutor Jimmie Cochsprint. I haven't gone by Daoist Cochsprint since my buddy Simpson's manic stint."
"Okay, Prosecutor Jimmie Cochsprint, what brings you to my holding room?"
"I'll keep this short; here's my report: I've come to offer a plea deal, one that has great appeal."
"You want me to plead guilty?"
"That is correct, my fluffy-tailed suspect. We have you recorded eating in a manner most sordid. Then, you grew colossal, turning a planet into a fossil."
"... What are your terms? Of course, this is contingent on the alleged recordings' verification."
"If you do not agree, the Courts will execute thee. In our arrangement, you will issue a statement. You'll say that you saw the Great Cleanser's life withdraw. Only then can you—confidentially—enter A'Zor'El Penitentiary."
Prosecutor Jimmie Cochsprint fished a document from his sheaf, sliding it toward Karma.
"To preserve your spine, spiritually sign on the dotted line. Note the Sovereign's emblem, emboldened on the contract's vellum. If it's not a good fit, know the Courts will not acquit."