The blue-skinned deity snorted. "Can't harbor the sniveling roach now, eh?"
"Acala," bellowed a raspy timbre from the Dharmachakra, "return at once!"
"Yes, Vice Abbot." Acala lumbered eastward, trailed by mountainous quakes.
"I'm sorry, did I say you could leave?" dully enunciated Elder Li, pausing the giant's gait.
Its mammoth head veered back—a portrait of bemused disdain. "You lack the credentials to keep me here. Read the damn mandates, will you?"
It turned, resuming its departure. "Senile old coot."
"Oh, but I have read them," Elder Li chortled. "'Beyond our designated headquarters'—yes? Where do you, fellow Daoist, think you are standing right now?"
"Run, Acala!" abruptly screeched Vice Abbot Protigha, his panic on full display.
Elder Li smilingly shook his head. "Morrígan, eat."
OHRMN.
A parabolic crevice split open at the abyssal sea's midpoint, revealing hillocks of chittering skulls drawn in a winding brook.
It almost resembled ...
Shit! Is that a tongue!? Karma shouted inwardly in equal parts awe and incredulity.
Acala cut a hapless figure, hurriedly lunging to flee. Its monolithic legs bounded forward, but its body—
Its body traveled in reverse.
"No, please! Mercy! Merccyyy!"
Shwoomp!
Morrígan's maw snapped shut, Acala's frantic pleas still audible from within.
Though.
Crunch.
Not.
Crunch.
For.
Crunch.
Long.
...
Karma stymied a whistle. Definitely a tongue, alright.
Elder Li peered unto the western monasteries, his shoulders lax and his tone droll. "Henceforth, you would do well to keep your pet on a leash."
No response.
**
Refocusing his attention on the lecture square, Elder Li began, "Apologies for the interruption; there was a noisy fellow outside. Let's continue where we left off."
The disciples regarded Elder Li with pious devotion.
"My ensuing instruction is, unfortunately, meant for those who had successfully achieved Attunement. If that does not describe you, kindly exit the premises."
Approximately 2/3 of the crowd tactfully shuffled out of the courtyard—not one whined nor grumbled.
A god had asked them, and they had answered.
"Wonderful!" Elder Li addressed the remainder. "It may be hard to believe, but the events prior portend more boon than catastrophe. This is especially the case for you all."
Elder Li surveyed a bevy of dubious frowns.
"The rationale—your skeptical minds are no doubt begging for—is but one: ascension."
Heavy breathing.
"To stand here is to stand on the precipice of the Embryonic Inquisitor realm. An honor, truly!
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
"However, the road ahead is not without its tolls. Namely, there exist two impetuses barring the gates of providence."
An illusory duo wove into being: an opal-reminiscent bean and an amethyst husk.
"First," he pointed to the husk, "we have the Diametric Chrysalis—the stimulant that kickstarts Avatar Inception."
"Second," then the bean," we have the Coalescent Legume—the stabilizing agent used in Avatar Molding."
Elder Li's volume peaked.
"Inception and Molding—burn these imperatives into memory. They are the rungs of your ladder, the mortar to your bricks. Have you done so?"
"Yes!"
"Good! As for their usage, that will become obvious upon swallowing them. Now, can anyone venture why I declared the Fourth Culling more boon than catastrophe?"
I probably shouldn't ...
Karma raised his hand.
He didn't get mad last time, right?
Elder Li gestured toward him.
"Because the sects are stingy until their coffers are shaken down?"
Silence.
Deafening, outraged, silence.
Elder Li squinted. "You, disciple, ought to be one of—if not—the most idiotic—"
Karma flinched.
"—brilliant students I've yet to encounter. Yes, the sects are frugal in their handling of strategic resources. That paradigm shifts, however, when plied of 45% of their treasury.
"Fight well, young ones. An opportunity gift-wrapped in blood lays before you. Will you receive it, or will it receive you?"
Poof!
And then he was gone.
**
Bang!
"I'm homeee. Lornce, Lazenzö, did you miss me?" blared Karma, waltzing past his inn suite's doorway.
Two sets of eyes honed in on him.
And promptly lost interest.
"No."—"Not really."
Karma, cocking his head, muttered, "Oh, okay. Good luck with fielding all those backorders. Pre-eminent clans—like the Mahāyāna Order—are famously forgiving, after all."
"Yes."—"Welcome back!"
Sigh—"Where I go, the masses' adoration follows. Woe is a man, and that man is me."
More like Disaster, thought Anlîthëma.
More like Ruin, thought Lance.
More like Death, thought Lorenzö.
"One month without pay for each of you."
You don't pay us!
"So we're in agreement! Onto my master plan," said Karma, tossing a sheaf of parchments onto Lance and Lorenzö's mahogany work station. "Here are the replies to all your outstanding orders."
Their eyes bulged from their sockets.
"I know, I know. I had some downtime during Schrödinger's Crucible, so I decided to check-in. Aren't I awesome?"
Monst—
"Don't answer that. Here's what we'll do next: submissions will be limited to once a week. Furthermore, they'll be auctioned off to the highest bidder. Go ahead, praise me."
Lance, having collected his disbelief, scratched his auburn stubble. "That's actually not that awful an idea."
Lorenzö nodded. "My father once told me a broken incense stick is only wrong 99.99% of the time. I finally understand his wisdom."
**
Days passed like the honeyed song of a nightingale, ushering the dawn of war and sunrise hand-in-hand.
After settling his economic affairs, Karma had retired to a newly-rented single, pondering the make and model of his Embryonic Avatar.
...
But will that work? The variables involved are too abstruse for my current abilities.
...
Interesting, the Dao's absolute abstraction deflects my absolute divination? Maybe there's something I can learn from that?
...
Perhaps the Dao is immune to augury because there isn't one but infinite correct interpretations. In that case, the Dao is not a tome of laws but a measure of Truth. And Truth is satisfied by many: Authenticity, Realism, Honesty...
...
I digress. In summary, I need not worry whether my theory aligns with a single set of rules, only that some set of rules aligns with my theory.
...
Wait! What if—what if I purposefully induce a contradictory ruleset?
...
That's it! My Embryonic Avatar will be Contradiction! I don't know what that entails, nor what it would look like, but that doesn't matter.
All I need is what I have: Truth.
My idea is my Truth, and the Dao can do nothing but agree.
Anything else would be contradictory.
And contradictions often have a way of turning False.
To Truth.
**
Anlîthëma spent those three days cursing, banging its sphere on spatial pouch walls, and more cursing.
Three days! He had three days of potential boredom in front of him and responded, "No, thank you," in the most absurd absurdity to ever absurd.
Come. The. Fuck. On! Natural enlightenment in an inn!? I had palaces—plural!—rife with Dao treasures, and not once did I achieve natural enlightenment.
**
Karma's preternatural state faded just in time to witness an artifact bracelet fasten around his left wrist. Similar to the sect's informational Jade Slips, a bit of spiritual energy and a dossier slipped into consciousness.
----------------------------------------
Fourth Culling Tabulator [Bound]
----------------------------------------
Personal
----------------------------------------
Name: ???
Culling Merit: 0
----------------------------------------
Upcoming Event
----------------------------------------
Time: Hour of the Rooster
Location: Mu Piao Woodlands
Opponent: Cittamātra Sect
Format: Banner Capture/Protection
Teleportation(Y/N): Y
----------------------------------------
**
Snip!
Glaring at the now-severed golden thread extending from the Tabulator, Karma scolded, "Annoying little shit. Trying to report me, eh, Mr. Bracelet? I think not."
Wagging a recriminating finger, he skimmed over the provided details.
"Hm, Rooster is—what—half a day later? Honestly, this reads more like an exciting game than a ruthless purge."
"I imagine that, to a select few, it falls under both parcels."
"Me being one of them?"
"That depends: can you defeat a peak-stage Embryonic Inquisitor?"
"No clue!"
"Given your propensity for deceit—I'll guess that you already are, or will be upon ascension."
"Woot!"
"To the chagrin of all that is holy and just."
"Double woot!"