And so it was that I found myself sitting near the docks as the day officially came to an end and a new one began. In my hand I held the long thin umbrella Boss had given me before we parted ways.

“Oh yeah, there’s a storm that’s supposed to be blowin in from the sea. We’re supposed to get some decent rain finally, take this in case you need it.”

Or something to that effect was his parting words.

That kind of vague hand waving was just like him, rather than express worry or faith in me he simply sent me on my way with a bit of warning about the weather. Then again the state I’m in now he could’ve tried to physically stop me and I would’ve gone straight through him, such was my frame of mind.

He was a nosey obnoxious man who in the end was far too kind for his own good.

As I waited patiently for my company whom I knew would arrive sooner or later, I allowed myself the luxury of looking back on that day we’d first met.

I’d punched him twice and sent him sprawling each time, and each time he’d sprung back up. He had the tenacity of a telemarketer, no rather the tenacity of an autodial machine.

“Jeez kid, if you aren’t careful you’ll break this pair too! What’s with you, is this how you greet all employers interested in hiring you?”

“Oy, don’t just shrug that off like it’s some new kind of interview technique, I’m not interested in whatever the fuck it is you want me for. Just looking at you it’s probably some kind of sketchy illegal shit too.”

“Ha ha ha, you’re so defensive it’s adorable.” With blood trickling from both his nostrils and a black and blue mark on his swollen cheek he laughed like he was dealing with some precocious child.

“But you should be more careful Ms.Disaster. If I were a con artist you’d already have fallen into my clutches.”

“Oh really?”

“Do you know how much these sunglasses cost per pair?” He took out a smartphone, from the light of the street lamp I could just barely make out a sticker of a cartoon samurai with white hair and white clothes on the back of it. It even had a cheap plastic charm hanging off of it with a katana and some kanji engraved on a plaque attached.

Eventually he held it out and on the screen there was the exact pair of sunglasses I’d shattered earlier, underneath the price tag was….

“Four hundred dollars!?”

“I know right, I can’t even just buy these things off the street. Gotta order them off the maker’s website, it’s a real hassle I’ll tell ya.”

He said that, but didn’t he just pull a spare pair from that vest pocket of his? How often did the situation happen in which he had to carry around spares or rather why not just buy a cheaper pair?

What an incomprehensible guy.

“See if I was a scammer I’d’ve immediately demanded you pay me back whatever the means necessary, organs, the fillings in your teeth…. Honestly I shudder to think about it heh.”

“Oy, what was that ‘heh’ at the end there?”

“But you see young missy it’s your lucky day! I’m a law abiding citizen and as such I shall simply refer you to the local authorities, after all that was a splendid case of assault and battery, destruction of property too.”

“If you ask me you sound more like a scammer now than ever!”

“Oh yea? Well we can always work something out under the table…”

“How about you fuck off?”

“Hey hey, it’s not that bad a deal. I’ll get you a place to stay, even pay you minimum wage. You just gotta work off the cost of these sunglasses, easy yea?”

“No.”

“Oh? Just what else do you have planned, if you have any pressing matters by all means go on your way. Hell I’m a nice guy, if you have a particular dream you’re gunning for I’ll even count that.”

It would have been easy to lie, to make up some dream like starting a family, traveling the world, any of those typical hallmark card esque fantasies. But as much as he seemed like your typical sleezebag I had a feeling he’d see right through any lie I gave him at this moment, or rather the act of lying right now would merely be proving his point.

“See? It’s like you’re a fall leaf just floating from place to place, if that’s all you got goin for you why not just kill some time here? It won’t take that long, and you’re free to leave whenever you want after.”

That offer sounded far too good to be true, just what did he expect to come from following a stranger in the middle of the night and chatting them up like this.

“What kind of job is it?” I said, averting my eyes from his grinning visage before me. It was a little humiliating to end up falling for his tricks, like a cat being drawn in by a toy. It was truly the simplest of ploys, just hang on and persevere until the person you’re chatting up gives in. But I suppose that’s just how weak I was back then. A pathetic stray with nowhere to go but some dumpster somewhere.

In the end that was how my long aimless years of wandering came to a close, I always used to leave towns within a few days. Either by bus or by train or by foot, I’d sever whatever connections I’d formed in the time there and disappear without a goodbye. However I couldn’t bring myself to do that this time, like a leech I’ve been clinging to Boss’ kindness these past three months.

Honestly, that man truly was a troublesome guy. In the end I just can’t bring myself to hate him.

Slipping out of those embarrassing past memories, I scanned my dark surroundings. There was neither human nor animal moving about me, but that was fine. He’d be here eventually.

I’d wait here as long as it took.

And so it was that I wasn’t kept waiting long. It couldn’t have been a half hour after I’d gone back to scanning my surroundings that movement in the dark caught my eye. I concentrated on it, stared unblinkingly until a familiar figure made its way into the into the light of the street lamp.

“You really kept me waiting didn’t you, Tiran?”

The lighting and stage were superb if I did say so myself. The dock was lit by nothing but a few floodlights and there was nothing but street lamps creating splotches of illumination down the road leading to where I sat. Whoever decided on the lighting for this area must have had a thing for stage plays.

The shadows were cast in a way that the tiniest movement would create a huge flash of darkness, in this way even the tiniest change of expression was emphasized almost to exaggeration.

“...What are you doing here Ms.Mei?”

“Do me a favor and drop the Ms. part, do I look like some kind of calendar girl to you?”

“Fine… Mei.”

Rather than the stubborn meekness he’d so desperately cloaked himself with this time his voice was filled with caution. Rather than rolling over and exposing his belly he was lowering his stance and trying to feel out my motivations and intentions.

“Why are you here? Or rather… how did you know I was coming here tonight?”

“To be honest I didn’t know you were coming here tonight, but if you didn’t show up I’d simply have to camp out the next night. Pretty simple really.”

“You didn’t answer my question, why did you know I was here!” He seemed to feel a little threatened by me at the very least, his voice was raising with stress and alarm. More and more he was beginning to resemble a cornered animal.

“Oh that? I had a hunch you’d be thinking of doing something stupid right about now so I went out of my way wait for you here.”

Exactly, how did I know he’d come to this dock? Because I’d contemplated the same thing time and time again. Every time I stepped off the bus I contemplated coming down here and just disappearing like I’d never been born.

Boss had helped me see things from a better perspective. In the end my hostility and my confrontational actions towards him had been out of fear. I recognized the things I’d seen in him, I recognized the kind of place he was in and I was rejecting them. Even now looking into Tiran’s face was like looking into an old cracked mirror.

Rather than two terminally different entities we were two terminally similar ones, we each reflected the weakness we saw in ourselves.

And that is why we had to clash here and now, neither of us could stand the sight of the other.

That is why he had emphasized for me to not forget why I’m going through with this in the first place, for an idiot who wears sunglasses in the middle of the night his insight was frightening.

“Fine, I can see you aren’t willing to tell me.” Tiran said keeping his eyes locked on me where I sat comfortably.

“Nope, a lady has her secrets after all.”

Of course there was more to it than that, Tiran himself had an obsession with isolating himself. Given his perspective he’s been acutely sensitive to how his actions would affect his own future, as such most of the usual methods are out. Rather than burden another person with discovery, or risk being found and saved, he had reached the conclusion that it was best for Tiran to disappear.

All that was left was how. Wandering off into the nearby countryside was a poor choice, starvation took days and there was always the chance of encountering others. Therefore he had turned his attention to the sea, the open ocean during a storm was a very dangerous place. He could easily take one of the small rental boats and head out into that azure abyss never to be seen again.

As if reenacting some ancient greek tragedy he was readying to throw himself into the raging broil of the sea, never to be seen again.

And through a more roundabout method he had reached the conclusion I had long ago.

“Don’t try and stop me Mei, this is for the best.”

“Oh really? Kid, you’re being awfully melodramatic aren’t you?” I twisted my mouth into a smile, giving my best impression of Boss’ lackadaisical manners.

“Shut up.”

Ah, this conversation was already bringing me a sense of deja vu.

“I don’t like you one bit Mei, leave me alone!”

‘I don’t like you’ I had been hoping to hear those words since he’d finally decided to show up. He was finally placing himself in opposition to me, rather than employee and customer, rather than adult and teenager, rather than stranger and stranger we are now enemies.

Finally we were on equal terms.

Just as I was rejecting him he was doing the same, this had turned from one sided enmity to a proper conflict. This was the kind of thing I’d wanted, this was the only way I could properly confront him.

“You ‘don’t like me’? Please kid, I’ve got better things to do than worry about how popular I am with minors.” I smirked, standing up from my comfortable seat and walking until I was directly under the nearest street light, it shone down on the two of us like spotlights. Under the brightness the scenery seemed to fade into obscurity, it was just me and him surrounded by darkness.

“Then why are you here? Why are you always so opposed to everything I do?! You made it clear I couldn’t stay at the bar and now you’re stopping me here. Just leave me alone!”

“I told you before, I’m here to stop you from doing something stupid. Kid, everything seems like such a big damn deal right now but when you’re older you’ll look back and feel embarrassed at it all. Everyone looks back to their high school years and hates themselves, one day you’ll be doing the same thinking about this whole mess.”

“Don’t you fucking pretend like you understand what it’s like.”

“Oh? Enlighten me.”

“I did! I told you just by existing I’m killing off the happiness of others. If that’s the case it’d be better if I disappeared…”

Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

His voice seemed to catch in his throat and he seemed to gasp about for a second like a fish flopping around on the ground.

“It’d be better if I were dead.”

“Like I said kid, you’re being way too dramatic for this shit.”

“You don’t know how it feels! No one does! I’m the only one with this burden! I’m the only one dealing with this! Me! All by myself, so stop talking down to me like I’m just some stupid kid!”

I did know.

However I wasn’t going to bring it up with him, there was no point. He was all caught up in his own problems, he’d kept running and running, spinning his wheels and spinning his wheels, and now finally all that pent up stress and frustration was exploding to the surface.

Until now he’d had no one but himself to blame, some unseen force was opposing him and causing him misery and there was nothing he could do. But now, now there was someone standing in his way, someone obstructing his path.

Yes, rather than someone who understood him he was looking for someone to vilify; and I was more than happy to play the part.

His face was flushing red with anger, and he had this pathetic look on his face it was honestly all too comical. To me he looked just like a child, so I couldn’t help but laugh. A truly wonderful villain’s laugh if I do say so myself.

“You… what’s so funny…”

“You, kid! Damn, with all that talk do you think you’re some kind of chosen one? Some kind of special existence? I mean seriously how conceited can you get!”

I flashed him my best “Boss smirk” curling my lip back a bit to show off a bit of my teeth.

“I am! I must be! After all who else has this power!? Who else is going through this!?”

“Lots of people kid, most people go through this shit. Most just handle this a lot better than you.”

“Shut up! How can that be true?”

I gave another mocking laugh, “Kid, I hate to break it to you but you’re nothing special. You put on all these airs and hold yourself above everyone else but in the end you’re just a stupid teenager trying to solve everything himself. In the end you’re just like everyone else.”

The first thing to do was break down the degrees of separation Tiran had set up. From the start his ability had caused him to set himself above everyone else. From the start he had in some form or another looked down on everyone else.

“You talk some good shit about science and world lines. About alternate futures, about endless possibilities but really everything is embarrassingly simple.”

“You…! Then how would you solve it!? How would you protect those in the future, how would you save those world lines!?”

“Did you look those up online or something? Cause you just seem to go on and on about shit that doesn’t even matter.”

“What…!?”

“Rather than all of that complex metaphysical bullshit, you’re simply paralyzed with indecision.”

“What are you talking about…?”

“You see all these possibility and all those choices before you and you’re afraid to choose one. That’s what all this boils down to isn’t it?”

Naturally as you grow up your horizons begin to broaden, and with it so does your awareness of your surroundings. Slowly but surely you become aware of the staggering amount of options available for you in your life, all the different paths that diverge from the very point you’re standing at.

Most people don’t notice that until they’ve left compulsory education, however Tiran was forcibly made aware of these options at a young age. Whether he fully grasped what they were or not his eyes were forcibly opened to the myriad paths that stood before him, and after seeing where each one lead and the happiness that awaited him down them he was paralyzed.

What if he chose one and ended up not happy? What if in the end there was a better path to choose? Which one should he even choose? Rather than a simple question with a binary right and wrong answer for the first time in his life Tiran was confronted for a question with no “right” answer. Not only that, but as he froze up with indecision options that were becoming less likely or were on a time schedule were slowly disappearing before his very eyes.

That was the true problem facing Tiran Ulrich. Not any silly thing like killing his future self or killing his own future happiness, after all…

“After all, all those future yous you’re trying to protect ultimately are still you. Without a doubt they are Tiran Ulrich, each and every one of them.”

“Of course they are… but…”

“And since indeed they are, the only way you could kill them is if you were to kill yourself right here and now. As long as you are alive they will continue to live on alongside you.”

Small dark splotches began to spatter the sidewalk we were standing on as large streaks of rain began to fall from the sky and far off in the distance thunder echoed over the vast sea.

The soft patter of rain began to fill the air, like white noise as the two of us maintained our distance from each other.

I could tell from the quiet Tiran’s mind was racing, from the very depths of his being he wanted to disagree. From sheer stubbornness born of opposition he wanted to rail against me, to throw my words back in my face. But he couldn’t, they all made too much sense.

As much of an emotional trainwreck the kid was, he was by no means stupid. Cold logic cuts through emotion rather easily, and even if it didn’t take effect now once he was calm he’d realize it. Until then I just needed to mercilessly cut down each and every one of his actions, to make him flail about like a spoiled child until he wore himself out.

“But...but there has to be meaning in it… there has to be meaning in me seeing the future like this! Otherwise why would it exist? Why would I have it!?”

“Sorry to break it to you kid but there is none. In life things happen for no reason other than because they can happen. No one is born with a destined goal or talent, everything we are given by life is from our own efforts or from pure blind chance.”

“But that… It HAS to have been to see this! To see something!? To choose the best option…”

“In life there is no best option, everything has a price. Everything has a negative side, we just don’t often see it until much later.”

“But I…”

“Tiran, can you consciously affect what you see? Can you alter the outcomes of your visions?”

“No but I-”

“Then we’re the same, you and me. If things did work out the way you said, then in this world everyone is a murderer. Everyone is guilty of the sin you claim to carry on your back, everyone bears that cross, and in the end you’re still the same as everyone else.”

“No that’s not…”

“What’s wrong? No need to be shy, we’re both murderers here.”

“No! You’re not…”

“Nothing changes regardless, in the end you’re only alone because you chose to be. In the end the only distinction between yourself and everyone else is the one you chose to see. In the end this problem was born from you and your own perception of the world around you.”

With the spotlight shining down upon him even with the obscuring rain I could see the confliction on his face. That unseen force that had been sabotaging him had turned out to be nothing more than himself. Even if he hadn’t realized it yet he was on the right track.

We stood in silence as the rain started to pick up creating a curtain of white streaks, both of us must’ve been feeling frozen to our very cores but neither of us bothered to move.

Finally I could see the fight and opposition start to slowly drain out of his figure and he slowly sank to the ground as all the tension began to leave his body.

Heaving a sigh I slowly closed the distance between us, stepping out of my own spotlight and crossing the darkened stage until I was sharing his.

“So what should I do?”

HIs voice was barely audible over the sound of the rain and the grumble of the ocean waves. Heaving another sigh I leaned down to where he was kneeling “What was that kid?”

“I said what should I do? I don’t know where to go what path I should choose or what I want… I don’t want to waste all these other options laid out before me…”

“Do whatever you want, pick whatever strikes your fancy and merrily skip down that path like it’s some kind of yellow brick road.”

“But what if I don’t want to do that? What if it would’ve been better if I’d chosen a different path, what if I’d really been happier doing something else?”

“Then do something else. If you have the power to make a ‘life changing decision’ once, nothing says you can’t just make another one if that last one didn’t work out and another one of that one doesn’t suit your fancy either.”

“But what if I fail.”

“Kid, the only time you fail is if you admit it. As long as you continue pursuing the path you want one way or another you’ll end up there.”

It all felt profoundly hypocritical of me to say, all this talk of not giving up and finding your way in life. But I suppose it wasn’t something someone else could say and mean. Rather these words I was so hypocritically bestowing upon him were born from the sincerest wish that in the end they’d be true for both of us.

“But I… I don’t think I can live up to that standard. I look and see how dazzling things can be and how everything is now… and I just don’t think I can live up to that…”

“Tiran, what was the reason you chose our bar?”

“I told you.”

“I mean the real reason. I refuse to believe you’re stupid enough to think just staying there would solve all your problems.”

“...”

Another silence, we were both soaked to the bone and the rain and wind were only getting stronger.

“Because it sounded fun.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Every time I’d walk by I’d hear you and Boss, at first I was worried since it seemed like you two were always fighting but... in the end it looked like so much fun. I… I wanted something like that… I wanted to become a part of that.”

Even as Tiran had told himself it was for the greater good to isolate himself, even as he told himself it was better for everyone that he was alone, even so he still yearned for a place to belong. Although that loneliness was a product of his own actions he still couldn’t help but yearn for people to spend his days with.

In the end under this pouring rain, the both of us must’ve looked pretty pathetic.

“Then just do that.”

“Huh?” Finally he looked up, meeting my eyes for the first time since he’d sunken to the ground.

“Do whatever seems like fun.”

“But what about this power…? I have a responsibility to-”

“Fuck responsibilities. Fuck the future. It doesn’t matter what you could be, just do what you think is fun, what you think is interesting, as long as in the end you’re happy. Focus on shaping who you are now, so that when the time comes you’ll be ready to take those steps into the future.”

“Is that anything to say to a kid…” A small smile had crossed Tiran’s face as he began wiping at his eyes, “Mei you’re a terrible role model.”

Well, he had me there.

“Hey Mei?”

“Yeah?”

“What if I still can’t think of anything. I’ve never had many friends and I’m a stupid shy boring person… what if things never change.”

“Here.” I held out the umbrella Boss had given me.

“Take this and go home and think on that. I’ll be expecting you to return it tomorrow so at the very least you can’t go disappearing on me until you’ve done that. I’ll be expecting you at the bar at your usual time.”

Slowly he he reached up and wrapped both of his arms around the umbrella, almost gently like he were hugging a child.

“Is it really okay?”

“Of course, as long as you return it it should be fine.”

“No, I mean to live for a reason as insignificant as that.”

“Of course it is.Obligations between friends are important after all. Just keep thinking of small things you want to do, or small things you have to do, keep those in mind until eventually you find the thing that you’ve been waiting for.”

In the end this was the best I could do, my situation was far more complicated compared to his. Even if I couldn’t embody those words I’d parroted at him, even if I couldn’t use this encounter to find a bit of my own salvation, I could still pass on the words he had told me that night.

I could still impart to Tiran the words I had been given to put me on the path I was walking today.

Honestly, what a sly man. Even as much as he talked about his own selfish sense of justice he still had undeniably saddled me with a debt I’d never be able to repay.

“Let’s go home, Tiran.”

So with everything tied up into a neat bow we left the stage. The play was over, our fierce conflict resolved. There was nothing left to add to this short tale, but as with most things the best laid plans of men often go awry in the dead of night.

As we were returning to the main road it happened,

I guess you could call it irony or karma, or even fate. Whatever it was it took the form of a speeding truck heading right for us as we crossed a particularly dark side road.

It was like an epiphany, one moment we were cutting our way through heavy rain and pitch blackness the next we were bathed in heavenly lights growing ever brighter.

Those orbs of pure white bleached the darkness from our vision until we were surrounded by nothingness.

Tiran had a look of surprise that was slowly becoming one of abject terror. For such a smart kid I guess he never really thought this whole thing through, whether it be your own, a friend, or a family member, death is a universally terrifying thing.

Even me who has resigned herself to rotting away, even I can’t help but find the idea terrifying enough to make myself sick. That is why it is what I deserve. For what I`ve done nothing less than the worst is appropriate.

Maybe this was fate, finally come to collect its’ due.

For a second I could feel myself falling down that familiar negative path.

But…

Well…

Tiran certainly didn’t deserve this, and I’m personally not a fan of dying with someone else, I’d promised boss that honor after all. Who knows what kind of crap he’d give me if reneged on our deal.

Admittedly though, all of that was petty justification. Deep down I think I was scared too.

Just like him.

So what was there left to do about this situation?

Jump out of the way? Push Tiran to safety? Pray to God?

Any of those might have been a smarter choice but well, I guess you could say my instincts were taking over.

That familiar feeling from my youth, that burning sensation that was radiating from my core.

It really was a nostalgic feeling.

It’s like I always say,

if there’s a wall in my way I’d sooner tear it down with my own two fists than go around. If there’s a sea in my path I’d rather swim across it even if I might drown. If there’s a person whose existence is tantamount to the word “chosen” that crosses my path then I’ll drag them down to my level if I have to.

And if there’s a truck barreling down a narrow street at me well…

The resulting sound was loud enough to eclipse the wind and thunder of the storm.

The curtain of rain was forced outward from where the two of us were, creating a brief dry pocket before once again rain filled that void.

Tiran had fallen flat on his butt, eyes wide as saucers.

And that fate that had come barreling out of nowhere? Well it’s nose was buried deep into the concrete, dented body, shattered glass, it was standing almost perpendicularly to the ground.

What I’d done was simple. The simplest thing you could do.

I planted my left foot, and swung my right foot up in a circular motion over my head, then brought my heel down directly onto the hood of that truck.

Simple, easy, effective.

The rain returned to drenching our beleaguered forms, and a few moments passed before Tiran finally spoke.

“Mei you’re…”

“I told you didn’t I kid? You’re not that special, lots of people can do lots of things.”

He stared at me in shocked awe.

“Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t really have the money to cover this kind of crash…”

I grabbed his hand, snapping him out of his stupor.

“Time to go!”

And as the two of us ran like criminals in the night, whether from relief or adrenaline Tiran couldn’t help but laugh. Red faced and out of breath he laughed as the wind carried away his voice.

Almost like that thing that had lain stagnant within him was forcing its way out of him to join the storm that wrapped itself around us.

As for the question of whether this did any good, well...

I suppose only time will tell.