The sun was setting into twilight as I made my back into the Devil’s Solace to start my shift for the day.

Without a doubt I knew Tiran would be there, at the very least some of the mysteries behind that kid should be cleared up today.

Why he was so intent on becoming a fixture of this small seedy bar.

Just what he appeared to be hiding from, or rather what he was desperately fleeing.

Since yesterday when I’d resolved myself to try and at the very least do something for him those thoughts had been swirling about in my head. If I could be permitted to state the obvious, those two things would more than likely be the greatest obstacles for me.

And yet.

And yet try as I might I just couldn’t fathom what could be troubling this kid. A wise man once said that a fight is won before it’s started, in the same sense I tend to prefer to at least mentally prepare myself for what’s to come.

However, this time it looked like all I could do was enter into this blind.

Just the thought of it got my heart beating faster with anticipation.

A kind of heightened state of senses, I couldn’t help but feel acutely sensitive to things like the loud noise of the bus as it started up after dropping me off.

At times in the past this mentality has served me quite well, yet as of now I probably looked more neurotic than prepared for a fight.

Well, I hadn’t exactly slept all that well last night either…

The muted, dim light that filled the bar was a welcome relief from the harsh reds and oranges that had shone down on me outside.

For the first time in three months I was grateful for the dim lighting and earthy color of the wood, in honesty it was almost relaxing.

Tiran was there sitting in his corner sipping a glass of water, compared to the last time I’d seen him at the very least he seemed better.

This time I guess I was the one who was a mess.

“Oy Mei, you feelin okay?”

Boss asked from his usual stool glancing sideways at me.

Did I really look that terrible? When I’d checked the mirror before I left I didn’t think anything showed too much. Then again Boss was strangely perceptive about some things.

“I’m fine, why?” I asked cautiously.

“You’re on time for once. You’re usually about five minutes late to the point where I could set my watch to it!”

Relief and indignation at the panic I’d felt due to his stupid joke came flooding in all at once.

“Fine, how about next time I’ll be ten minutes late to make up for it?” I muttered back at him.

“Hey hey, that’s now it works, if anything shouldn’t you just walk out and wait five minutes before coming back?”

“You make it sound like it’s some kind of rule that I’m always late Boss.”

“What was it you said about the Scientific Method? The sun sets and Mei is late for work?” He had one of his cocky smirks on his face, the kind where you look at him and think he’d look better with a fist upside his jaw.

“What’s with you Boss, did something good happen to you today or something?”

“Ha ha ha, what kind of final Boss doesn’t level as the player gets stronger?” Boss leaned back and gave an exaggerated laugh at me.

Well, at least he was in a good mood.

“Most from my understanding. Or rather if the final boss leveled with you wouldn’t that set a terrible precedent as far as player leveling?”

“Oy oy when did you learn about video games, I didn’t take you for much of a gamer.” Boss said looking at me with one of his faces that signaled the start of a giant tangent.

“I’m not, or rather I can’t afford them.”

“Geez, what kind of tyrant isn’t paying you enough to afford the luxuries in life?” Boss gave a mock sigh and threw his hands to his side in distress.

That’d be you.

Well I suppose it’s more I have other priorities.

Ignoring Boss as he started off on one of his ramblings about how things were back when he started working I made my way to the employee break room.

Thanks to Boss’ distraction my nerves that had been tensed and bunched into one giant knot had finally relaxed.

I couldn’t feel the beat of my heart in my chest, and I didn’t feel like I was about to break into a cold sweat anymore.

That was one good thing at least.

The main event was still starting soon, and I couldn’t afford to let my guard down. Since I was flat out of ideas, I’d have to think on the fly.

Taking a deep breath to psych myself up I put on my black apron and made my way back into the main bar.

“Alright kid, let’s pick up where we left off.” I said, placing myself across the table from him once more.

This time I didn’t have to do anything to get his attention, Tiran had been quietly waiting for me, it seems like both of us had been anticipating this.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Boss put his newspaper down and swivel in his stool to face us while Jirard quietly put down the mug he was cleaning and turned his eyes this way.

“We left off last time, where I said that I could see all possibilities ten years from now, correct?” Tiran said meeting my eyes for the first time since we’d met.

“Yeah yeah, let’s get on with it.” Boss chimed in from behind me.

Thanks Boss, you’re great listener.

“Well, to begin with if I could correct that statement, it’s not every possibility but more the most likely ones.”

“I’m not sure if there’s a meaningful difference there.” I replied. “Regardless of what you see you still are looking into the future right?”

“Well yes, but there is a big difference. At any time a meteor could get pulled off course and kill one of us. Or rather out of all the world lines I can see it seems I can only see the ones that are born from ones that possess a percentage of occurring above a certain margin.”

Did that really matter?

It seemed like kind of an odd thing to append, though I suppose it assures him of a certain amount of validity.

“So stuff like getting struck by lightning under an otherwise clear blue sky isn’t factored in I suppose?”

“Uh Miss Mei… rather than unlikely I think that’s impossible.” this was met by “ha you tell her!” from Boss.

I muttered under my breath, I thought he was here to listen to the kid not make fun of me.

“So, what’s this got to do with us? You’ve been dancing around all the issues till now. Spill it.” I said letting my annoyance at Boss show a little.

“Well… I just wanted to explain it a little better, so you’d understand things easier. See...”

While he rambled on about certain small details and discrepancies I took the time to scrutinize Tiran.

I’d barely paid him any mind before, I’d let him sink into the background like he’d wanted. If I was going to do anything I should start by dissecting the existence known as Tiran.

To start with, it was a little hard to tell from his clothes but his physique seemed about average. He was lean but it didn’t seem like he was starving himself at all.

That being said I also doubt he had much muscle definition either.

Also, despite the recent stretch of sunny days his skin seemed neither burned nor tan. Both of those facts led me to the conclusion that he wasn’t all too physically active.

From memory, the past seven days he’d entered the bar he’d done so wearing his hoodie. I wear my overcoat while I commute to work because when my shift ends the nights have usually developed a chill and during the majority of my commute to the bar I was in a bus that usually blasted air conditioning.

The chilly ocean breeze at night and frigid air conditioning on the bus made those few minutes baking in the sun worth it.

However, Tiran was different.

If we assume he left his house in the morning before the day heated up, and stayed in a space that was air conditioned during the day.

Common sense would say to remove one’s jacket when it came time to walk outside in the heat, even if he didn’t have his backpack with him he could tie it around his waist.

Yet he’d walked through the evening sun to this bar with it on, that act alone left me with the impression that he’d kept it on throughout the day regardless of heat.

So if I could combine what I gathered I’d paint him as such.

A young boy who wasn’t involved in sports or more than likely any after school activity.

A young boy who wears a hoodie in summer, regardless of heat.

A young boy who whiles away his Summer somewhere, who stays out till the last bus home.

Those were the three truths I could discern from thinking about his current appearance and his past behaviors.

Small but obvious traits.

It’s not like I was some great detective. There was no way I could hope to simply glance him up and down and pull the problem he’s having out of my ass.

But there was one thing my mind jumped to given his actions here and his personality.

Truth be told, it was more of a guess. An inference at best.

Well, worst comes to worst he could always just correct me. It didn’t seem as though he was trying to hide anything from me.

Rather due to circumstances he was being overly cautious about laying the groundwork for things. Or simply stalling for time.

Either way now was the time go for broke!

“Tiran, does this have to do with why you’re isolating yourself from everyone around you?”

He froze mid sentence.

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

I could hear Boss give an short whistle behind me, and Jirard was nodding approvingly at me.

From his reaction it seemed I’d at least guessed right.

A hood to narrow his sight, and make him harder to be approached. Spending as much of his time away from home, reducing the chances of parents or acquaintances checking up on him. An avoidance of clubs or team sports, a separation from his peers.

That was the light in which I viewed those three simple, normal sounding facts.

His quiet and curt yet courteous speech.

His habit of putting himself out of the way of others.

All these facts pointed to a young boy who was isolating himself from the world around him.

Rather than a background actor it was more as if he were trying to slowly slip away from a conversation he was neither involved in nor had an interest in.

“I… yeah I suppose you could say it’s related to that.” Tiran said attempting to get another foothold in this conversation.

However he’d affirmed my suspicion, rather than give him time to recover it was my turn to push him. I had the momentum, it was time to make use of it.

“What does having future sight have to do with you isolating yourself.”

Yes, he’d admitted to isolating himself.

In other words,

He was actively isolating himself. It wasn’t that it happened as a side effect of anything, it was an active decision on his part.

At the very least I was starting to get a clearer idea of why he was so stubborn about coming to this bar. If I had to guess, wherever he spent his time during the day was closing around this time, and so this was the next best isolated area.

A small bar with only three employees.

An irresponsible owner that didn’t want to deal with the hassle of kicking someone out.

A kind hearted old bartender who couldn’t turn him away.

An awkward waitress who would rather go about her job than deal with him.

And to top it off barely any customers, this coupled with him only having to deal with the same employees at the bar meant that the chances of him being disturbed by a stranger while here was exponentially lower than sitting around outside.

If I had to take a guess, that would be how he probably saw this place.

It had become more than his solace from the problems that plagued a normal highschool kid but rather, a solace from the world.

“I uh..”

“Out with it.” I pushed.

He was already teetering, it was time to push him until he fell.

“Alright.” He acquiesced.

“Think of what it’s like, seeing yourself ten years into the future. Seeing the life you live, the person you’re dating, the people you know. It’s like looking into a dream.”

He paused, chances are he never thought he’d have to tell anyone this. Chances are he never wanted to tell anyone this. Still, I couldn’t afford to feel sorry for him.

“In one small piece I’m a doctor finishing up medical school with a young girlfriend I keep in touch with via email and visit on weekends. In another my first child has been born and I’m cradling her with her mother in the delivery room. In another I’ve moved out of town and am working a side job at a fast food joint while I try to make a living off the music I play at night. When I look into the future my vision is flooded with all of these things together, fit perfectly like a stained glass window.”

Rather than blather about the world lines and probability wouldn’t it have been better to start here? I couldn’t help but think that.

“For as long as I can remember, I’ve been able to withdraw into myself and look at that giant mass of probability as easily as if I were holding a kaleidoscope to my eye. So I’ve had plenty of time to observe it change over time.”

He wasn’t cowering before me anymore, as meek as he was Tiran wasn’t breaking eye contact with me. It seemed like I’d given him just the push he needed.

“Yeah, I’ve seen it change. I’ve seen a possibility completely black out to be replaced by a new more likely probability. An entire world line gone because of my actions… At first I didn’t notice but the more time passed the more I saw the possibilities I’d come to be familiar with die before me.”

He laced both his fingers together and clenched them to his palms, a look of stress and regret was plastered across his usual unnoteworthy face.

“What about the me that was living in that world line? What about that possibility? Each one of them is living his life happily, each one of them is doing far more than I’m doing now and yet with just one little action of mine their lives are snuffed out as though they were never meant to be. I just… I can’t take it anymore.”

My mind blanked a little as he paused again, taking in a deep breath.

It wasn’t that I couldn’t understand the logic behind it, given the system that he described it was the natural thing to happen.

But then, what exactly could I do about that? Or rather what could be done about that?

Given his phrasing I didn’t think he could see exactly what actions would lead to one of his possibilities being erased. Rather if it was that simple then he wouldn’t have to resort to drastic actions like these…

“Just… no more.” He repeated, one small tear had begun winding its way down his distraught features.

“If any action I take could lead to the erasure of a happier me, if any chance meeting could lead to the death of a me that was just living his life and following his dreams, If that’s how things are then I’d rather completely cut myself off from this world.”

More tears were silently flowing, following the path of the first one. He’d paused to take a breath but it ended up mixing with a sob to come out sounding more like a gasp.

“I’d rather meet no one, I’d rather do nothing. I’d rather preserve them than waste both their lives and mine with frivolity.”

Yes,

Rather than see the wonderful possibilities he’d come to grow attached to and look to with hope die off and be replaced with others that were destined for the same fate, rather than see his bouquet of dreams that was laid before him whither he would rather do nothing.

He would rather become stagnant.

He would rather waste away for the sake of protecting them.

I could feel goosebumps snake their way down my spine, this was something I’d never imagined. Stealthily I snuck a peak behind me, if Boss or Jirard had an assist maybe I could use that to buy myself some time to think.

Boss had a grim expression on his face, he seemed to have caught onto my glance and just simply closed his eyes and reclined back comfortably.

Jirard seemed concerned for Tiran, and for a second I thought he’d pop in with one of his nuggets of wisdom.

But Tiran had muffled himself down to a quiet whimper and the seconds were dragging on. The time with which he’d usually insert a well timed quip had come and gone.

I was on my own in this.

What was I thinking of course I was. Boss had made it plenty clear that he was staying out of this mess and as for Jirard? He seemed to be following Boss on this one.

By no means was it them being cold, I understood that.

Boss had implied it earlier, the line between helping and harming was a fine one. It was akin to the difference between medicine and poison, the slightest bit to either side could save or end a life.

When you don’t know whether the actions you are about to take would take the effect of help or harm it was common sense to withhold your action until you knew more.

Such a simple piece of common knowledge, and yet as much as I found myself cornered by Tiran’s predicament I couldn’t bring myself to bow out and let this take its course.

A person couldn’t survive in complete isolation, no matter for what kind of noble reason he thought he was carrying out this self imposed exile something eventually would have to give.

Who’s to say if we let this run its course Tiran would still be safe in the end?

Looking back on the things that seemed so major at the time and laughing about them can only be done if you’re alive to do it.

I don’t think I could let something like this play out that way, I couldn’t bear it. Regardless of how slim the chance was if I could snap Tiran out of this dark place then I had to take it.

I tried to swallow, but my throat felt like something was caught in it. A hard lump that physically hurt as it slowly made its way down my trachea.

My thoughts were interrupted by Tiran’s plea, “So please, just ignore me! Leave me be, just let me have this… if you can find it in your heart… please.”

I had to say something.

I had to do something.

Even as I tried to urge myself forward I could feel fear and anxiety gripping at my heart.

The thought of failing, the overwhelming feeling of despair knowing that someone was suffering before me and the best I could do was leave them be.

Those feelings had become a noose that ever so slowly tightened around my throat, constricting my breath little by little.

“You always said, I was the kind of person who thrived in adversity.” That wistful line from some far off epigraph was the one thing that floated to the surface of my mind amid all the chaos and panic.

If there was a wall between me and my destination I’d go through it.

If my only way forward was off the edge of a waterfall I’d dive straight off it.

Yes, for me those feelings of hesitation were nothing more than shackles.

Those feelings of helplessness and anxiety were slowly burned away, seared clean off by those familiar feelings of frustration and anger.

It was all a familiar process.

The fact that even for a moment I allowed myself to be distracted by those pathetic insecurities frustrated me to no end.

That no matter how far I’ve come there are still things tying me to the past.

Just the thought of falling back into how things used to be brought pure bile up from the pit of my stomach. It was enough for my vision to flash red.

Not the healthiest thing I know, but it was enough to snap me out of those vague tepid insecurities.

“Tiran, just from listening to you earlier I know you’re a smart kid.”

Yes, that is one thing I’ll say about him, to have comprehended and come up with the amount of details about his future sight that he has by himself.

And it was exactly because he was smart, that this would work. I’m sure he’d known this all along and just refused to look at it.

“That’s why you should know a plan like this will absolutely never work.”

“What are you talking about… were you listening to me? I-”

“Of course I was, what do you think the three of us have been doing this whole time?” I interrupted him, making a gesture at Boss and Jirard who had each fallen in with our conversation.

“Then tell me, how can you say that with such certainty!” Those quiet tears were gone, his face had taken a slightly rosey color as he lashed out at me.

Then again, of course he was mad. I was about to deny that tiny bit of salvation he’d thought he’d forged for himself.

“You said it yourself, it’s your actions are what cause your future sight to change.”

“Exactly that’s wh-”

I slammed my fist down on the table with a loud crash that cut him off. The glass he’d been nursing wobbled before toppling over, creating a small frigid stream with chunks of ice in it that quietly flowed off the table.

As if it were drawing a line between the two of us.

“You can’t put a moratorium on life Tiran, even choosing to take no action is still in the end a choice!”

I let that burning sensation that’d started in my stomach begin to seep into my words. I knew he would rather not hear this, but it was something he’d have to confront anyway.

“You isolating yourself from everyone is still an action. The only difference this makes is instead of spending your days finding happiness you’re wallowing in paranoia and despair.”

I paused, waiting for him to reply. Daring him to bring up another argument for me to shoot down.

But he had none.

I see, I guess it was time to deal the final blow.

“Tiran, no matter what you do your choices will still destroy the possibilities before you. Even if you isolate yourself from society, even if you cut yourself off from the world in the end they will still be erased.”

I looked him in the eyes, even if I had to force these words down his ears I’d get them across.

“This exercise in solitude you’re playing at, in the end it’s more an exercise in futility.”

Whether he wanted to or not these were the words he needed to hear and since he couldn’t say them himself the duty had fallen to me.

However now, now that he’s finally acknowledged his mistake.

Now that he wasn’t blinding himself with lies anymore, surely he could find a solution to this. He was a smart kid he probably already had some other idea in his mind.

I’d punched holes in his theory, shown him that the ship he thought to be safe was taking on water fast.

It was basic self preservation to make that leap of logic, from one way of living to another.

If anyone could do this he could, at least that’s what I thought as I let myself start to calm down.

This boy who had foresight beyond anyone I’d ever met, this smart high school kid, all he needs to do is take all that stress and worry he’d funneled into his life and turn them into motivation.

If anyone could eek out a proper life it was him.

What a fool i was.

The look on his face was one of pure horror, as if I’d taken something precious from deep inside him and snapped it right before his eyes.

That rosey color he’d mustered into his face had drained leaving his already pale skin to resemble a cadaver’s.

His mouth hung open and as he sat in silence.

The only sound in the entire bar was the spilled water dripping onto the floor one at a time, if it were trying to cry for him.

Finally he seemed to try to lean back, as if he were trying to get away from me, in the end he shifted his weight too far and clumsily ended up on the floor, still staring into my eyes with his wide eyed panicked gaze.

Slowly but surely I could feel a weight in my stomach.

I felt sick.

“Sorry, I’ve bothered you all.” Tiran said his voice sounded like it was all he could do to force the air out of his lUgg’s.

“I’ll be going now.” And with that he left.

He neither turned around or made eye contact with either of us.

That just made me feel worse.

Boss gave a noncommittal “Well, glad that’s done with.” Before opening his paper with a snap.

“Mei, come here a second would you?” Jirard called to me. I trudged my way to the counter like an obedient child, it felt as if there was sand instead of blood sifting around in my heart with each beat.

“Come now.” Jirard said giving a good natured smile as he took a kerchief from his vest pocket and dabbed at my eyes.

“He had to hear that some time, better now before he’d wasted his life away.”

I expected him to chide me,

‘Maybe you should have said it a bit gentler’

‘Maybe you should have said it a bit better’

‘You should have thought out your actions more’

But they never came. Of course they wouldn’t, that wasn’t the kind of person Jirard was.

It was just my wish to be scolded for what I’d done.

It was one thing to say something hurtful, but it was another thing entirely to see the naked pain and despair caused by your actions plastered across your victims face.

When I closed my eyes it was as if his expression had burned itself into my memories.

Even by the end of the night, I didn’t feel much better. If anything I felt worse. Worse and worse.

In the end I didn’t even say goodbye to Boss or Jirard as I left Devil’s Solace and trudged my lonely route home.