"I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR DAYS! START THE DAMN JOUST BEFORE I PISS MYSELF!!!" The king of the seven kingdoms yelled, displaying himself as a paragon of nobility and the lavatory. I was currently waiting in the reserves for my turn to joust.

It was the last day of the hands tournament, and my childish joy at participating had mostly worn off, leaving only the harsh realities of broken dreams. The only other memory similar was in my first life where I was subjected to a school play and got my first taste of the adult world. It's very fun and exciting to watch, but absolute torture memorizing, dancing, and stage positions as a kid with other kids spreading their cooties everywhere, while teachers let power go to their heads and demanded perfection.

Without thinking more about that, let's instead flashback to notable points in the tournament before my name is called.

I was currently standing quite handsomely as the crowds of small folk chanted "white knight." On the ground were several bruised men, mostly from my beatings, some from losing earlier fights among each other. This was the group melee, an event that, if not for my superhuman enhancements, would likely have killed me. Looking at the fallen men from various houses that were by now getting up again, I couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed; my movements were a bit too fast to feel the thrill of fighting. Luckily, all the somewhat good-looking ladies in the crowd looking at me with hungry eyes significantly improved my mood.

I didn't participate in the archery competition, as my ego was content with knowing I could win easily and as such should let the others have their wins. I instead chose to focus on winning my way into the hearts of some rather attractive minor noble ladies with food from Britannia and the promise of a great night before their fathers sent them to marry. Safe to say, the tournament was just as enjoyable at night as it was during the day.

Getting out of my tent, I found my maid; unfortunately, before I could say anything, she spoke: "It's strange, why are you interested in those women when I'm far more attractive? Also, aren't you supposed to be going after Lady Sansa?"

Breathing a sigh of relief I didn't know I was holding, I replied.

"Yeah, you are a top-class beauty and they really aren't that great in comparison, but that doesn't change the fact that you see me as king of Britannia first and as your superior second. There is a large power dynamic that can't be broken. Those girls, on the other hand, see me as a strange but charming knight from a distant land, not too different from their station, and as such, it does feel like there's a wall between us, even if I'm only with them for a short time."

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

I chuckled a bit. "As for Sansa, she is still lovesick and too inexperienced to cure it." My maid nodded, considering my words seriously, as she also understood the differences and as such didn't press on. I was, however, subjected to a more forceful scrubbing in the bath and slightly burnt food to vent her dissatisfaction.

This takes us right up to the final day. I mostly skipped the other games that were set up for the small folk and the nobility to show their skills; things like log tossing and one-on-one fights obviously not to the death but still entertaining.

I watched as Peter was explaining himself and the tournament to the Stark siblings as the first riders went up; lots of minor nobles also took their turns. I also climbed the tournament ladder that was most certainly tampered with, but with my enhanced body, it was no challenge. Around mid-day, I recognized the mountain but not the other guy; the poor fool was, as they say in the east, courting death. This was proven when on their second pass, he died from a splinter to the throat. A lunchtime break was called, so everyone retreated into tents or to the city for a few hours.

King Robert's tent.

"God's too fat for my armor. That boy's no help; unfortunately, Cersei insisted.

God's how I have to thank Jon Arryn for her. He insisted we needed her father's money and influence. I thought being king meant I could do whatever I wanted." King Robert shook his head and left the tent with his last friend inside, not before being reminded of his opinion on clothing.

Jousting field.

Sansa was quite excited to see the next match as the handsome Knight of Flowers was fighting what everyone called the White Knight without banners. Petyr Baelish had said that the White Knight came from Britannia, but even he wasn't certain as none of their ships had been to King's Landing for a few months.

Her heart nearly exploded when Ser Loras gave her a flower and proclaimed her the most beautiful. She didn't notice the side-eye he was giving Renly Baratheon, but Baelish did and bet on the White Knight's victory with Lord Renly. Sansa had no doubts about Ser Loras winning as both knights traded hits. That was until the third pass when the White Knight hit Ser Loras so hard he went flying off his saddle and tumbling to the ground.

The final match was between the White Knight and the Mountain. While the Mountain wasn't sent flying, he also lost as the White Knight evaded the Mountain's lance during the numerous exchanges between them. Finally, when the prizes were given to the champions, Sansa was shocked to see the boy from her closet as the White Knight. She had almost forgotten his words and the box since coming to King's Landing, but now it all came back to her.

She couldn't help but stare at his white hair and sky-blue eyes in a bit of a trance. That was until he proclaimed Princess Myrcella as his Queen of Love and Beauty, giving her a small golden crown without even sparing a look at her. This, of course, left her quite angry; after all, even Ser Loras recognized her beauty, and when they first met, he said he wanted to court her.

After the tournament Above Westeros,

Serra and I were flying the cloaked puddle jumper to our next destination. I was internally smiling at the look on Sansa's face when I crowned Myrcella the Queen of Love and Beauty. Truth be told, most of the reason was because I wanted to show Sansa that she had lost my interest because she hadn't listened to my warnings; the rest was because grown-up Myrcella was indeed gorgeous.