Chapter 17: Enter the Hokage

The journey was long and uninteresting. For someone leaving their village for the first time in their memory, it might have been more significant; I, however, had traveled fairly diversely back on Earth, and had long since come to the belief that the best part of travel was finally arriving where you wanted to be. Travelling by boat and foot was far less pleasant than plane and car, and just reinforced that belief.

I had suggested using Pelicans to drop off a summoning seal linked to a circle in Uzushiogakure; it was deemed an unnecessary expenditure of energy, unnecessary exposure of strategic capability, and an unnecessary departure from tradition. All of these but the last seemed reasonable, and so I endured the trip as well as I could.

Admittedly, the first leg, while on a Medium Naval Escort ship was quite enjoyable. I had always loved sailing and the water, and the weather and currents weren't so bad as to make me sea-sick. While some of the other members of the party were not so copacetic, Sachiko too was lucky enough to have a strong stomach. Unfortunately, Uzushiogakure was close to Fire's landmass, and so we were soon on a road headed to the national capital and the Fire Daimyo's palace.

Of my presentation at court I'll say little; it was highly formalized, and something of an afterthought when compared with introducing our new Ambassador, (one of) my theoretical boss(es), who was replacing the previous representative. We traded eight of the party for eight of the ambassadorial staff who were headed to home after our short detour to Konohagakure, and continued on our way.

Konohagakure was somewhat more interesting, if only because I was going to be living there for a while (though it would not be, would never be, home). We were escorted by an honor guard to our new Consulate and washed and dressed for our visit to the Hokage's Tower, the center of their bureaucracy.

I was, once again, in full regalia. On my Haori's (formal jacket-like robe's) lapels were displayed the device of Whirlpool; beneath, slightly smaller, was my personal device, a stylized Hawk's head (which I inherited from my family) with the kanji for “seal” on its forehead. I wore swords which were slightly comically oversized compared to my frame, and I couldn't help but chuckle at my image.

I looked like a brat wearing the most expensive Halloween costume ever. I sobered when Sachiko looked at me inquisitively and shook my head. Hidden out of sight behind a sash were the remnants of Kushina's tear-stains.

Sachiko too was looking sharp. She had foregone her hidden weapons, though not those accessories that could be used as improvised ones (seriously, I think the only reason these women had hair like that was to make weapons of the spikes they used to style it). She was in a female dress-uniform remarkably similar to what she wore under Ojii-sama, though bearing my device rather than his. I knew her well enough by now to tell she was slightly nervous.

We were joined by my nominal deputy, Minami Ichirou, and his assistant. Ichirou-san was, at least in theory, a samurai. In reality, while he might have been the match for some peasant bandits, Ichirou hardly qualified to be compared to the death-dealing human blenders that truly earned their title. Instead, he was well experienced in trade, and slightly less in politics.

I had Sachiko investigate him during the journey; she found he was a moderate Progressive, one who would likely focus on creating trade and mutual profit, but not increase any military dependencies on Uzushiogakure's part. Ichirou would take care of the day-to-day business, and much of the more formal events too. Our consulate also had a trio of servants attached to it whom I had been assured were discrete and efficient (read Uzushiogakure ninja), though I did not interact much with them.

While we would all be living on Consulate grounds, Sachiko and I had our residence in a different building, a bit more removed from the public and closer to the attached training ground and dojo. It was actually a pretty good deal for me. I had free lodging, and was being paid a fairly generous stipend by Kazuo-kaka as an appointed official, as well as a different small stipend as an activated militia member by Kazuo-sama; I suspected this allowance was another way of his showing appreciation for my stepping up to live in this foreign land.

To make my financial situation even better, I would still keep whatever pay Konoha owed for my service. It wasn't quite as much money as I had been making through the work on my inventions with Hikaru jii-san, but I wasn't precluded from continuing that remotely, at least part-time. On the expenses side, I had myself and Sachiko to support, keeping us clothed appropriately (which could get a bit expensive with formal wear for growing boys), supplied with gear, and of course fed.

The walk to the Hokage was reasonably short; I wasn't sure whether Konohagakure or Uzushiogakure had paid for the land, but whoever had definitely didn't stint. Such a decently sized tract so close to the center of the village was definitely expensive. The villagers were somewhat taken by our procession; that kind of pomp and circumstance was rarely seen in ninja spaces unless the day was a major festival, in which case it was expected.

The ceremony where we were official greeted and welcomed by the Hokage was emotionally delicious. Mito, Danzo, a gaggle of clan heads and several other important Konoha figures were there. It was a good thing that Sachiko had been training my sensing skills towards ninja while on the trip; she would do this thing where if she had a joke or comment, she'd hold it in unless I ordered her to speak. The trick was detecting these moments; I'm not sure if she knew I'd caught on yet, but she was basically trading sensing progress in return for her lightening up a bit.

Still, if I hadn't been watching their chakra carefully for their reaction, I never would have caught it. When I was introduced as the Consul, they were shocked.

It only took me a moment to realize why. See, Kazuo-kaka had played a bit of a joke on them; this wasn't it, though the reaction was what I was looking for. When Kazuo-kaka sent the missive of our agreement to their terms, he further negotiated this consulship. In the letter, he somewhat ambiguously stated that Uzumaki Daichi, his retainer, Minami Ichirou, his assistant, and three servants would be sent when he sent “the best candidate to host the Kyubi” and the sealing team to ensure the transfer went well. It never actually mentioned that I was the best host candidate.

What caught up the Konohagakure dignitaries though, and a mistake I never would have suspected such a powerful ninja village to make, was my identity. I had a very distant cousin, about as distant as an Uzumaki could get, who was also called Daichi. He was a somewhat aged veteran of the Uzushiogakure Guard who had achieved a decent rank with a good reputation as a ship captain. The only reason I knew about him was that occasionally messages meant for one of us would find the other. Konohagakure must have read Uzumaki Daichi, and assumed that the other Daichi was getting the post as a kind of retirement posting.

Instead, they got me in all of my eight year old, 4'4” glory.

When they realized that Kushina wasn't there, there were even mutters in the less important ranks of dignitaries. I very carefully, and very pointedly, did not give a glance of superiority to Sachiko at our superior breeding and manners, but I sure as hell emoted it enough that any decent sensor, and most Jonin, would have picked up on it.

I wasn’t sure how many there had the diplomatic training necessary to see what kind of a win we had just had, but I was paying attention to the Fire Daimyo's representative to Konohagakure, and he definitely did. I was still filled with a slightly warm feeling when we (myself and Ichirou-san, as well as the Head Sealing Priest and the previous Ambassador to the Fire Daimyo, accompanied by our assistants) were invited to an “intimate” tea with the Hokage and his three chief advisers (and their own attendants), presided over by the Fire Daimyo's representative. Mito was apparently too poorly for much more exertion, else she'd have been attending as well as a “family member”.

I grinned, and thought 'let the games begin'.

We met in a room near the Hokage's office. Seating us was a bit interesting. On the one hand, I was the chief of the diplomatic mission, and so I was senior. On the other hand, the Head Priest was the second most senior figure in Uzushiogakure's Sealing Department, my own senior, and hugely influential within the Clan and village.

But, he gave the signal in Sealing Priest Cant, a set of signals used to communicate when doing complicated sealing chants and hand-chains that I should lead, and so I took the seat at the head, facing across from the Hokage. The assistants, of course, sat at the edges of the room looking like painted statues. Sarutobi just looked at me for a moment, taking stock of me.

I'll admit, it was a bit nervous-making. Sarutobi was already something of a legend, and a much bigger bad-ass than I. But I had stared Death in the face (the concept, not personification), and it would take far more than a stern look to phase me.

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“It seems you were expecting my cousin, Hokage-sama. I would have thought that Konohagakure's intelligence apparatus would have warned you when I was presented to the Fire Daimyo. I apologize for any confusion.” I swear Danzo, Mr. “No Emotions Danzo,” twitched. It's not common that you could get one over on the Hokage like this, and I wanted to show that I refused to be cowed.

A moment later, the prototype of Sarutobi's eventual “lovable-grandfather” mask, in this case the “friendly-uncle” mask, slipped into action. Or perhaps his business mask slipped off. I was unsure, and I suspected even Sarutobi didn’t know; truly, ninja prodigies and multiple personality disorder were uncomfortably similar.

“There's no need to apologize for anything, my boy. I assume your Uzumaki blood is particularly strong?” Urgh. I hated being called anyone's anything (unless I was sleeping with them, that's a bit different, then they could call me their dear or lover or whatever), let alone their “boy”. It was a calculated parry that didn't answer to the (possible) failure of their intelligence, and insulted me at the same time. But he made a mistake asking so obliquely about my age.

“If I were a boy, Hokage-sama, I would have to be recalled to Uzushiogakure. It is against our law for children to fill such positions.” Let's see you backpedal now, motherfucker. If you don't and your statement stands, I have legitimate cause to claim dismissal under our Alliance, and the whole Kyubi thing falls apart.

“It was merely a figure of speech, I meant no commentary on your adulthood, Daichi-san.” That was a point to me, bringing us back to even. Now to poke again…

“And as for my blood, it is strong.” There was an almost visible relaxation that I wasn't as young as I looked that I allowed before crushing it. “That said, I don't believe I look any younger than I am; I recently turned eight. Do I look younger, Hokage-sama?”

The Hokage at this point was about forty years old, a little younger than my cumulative age. He may have been more experienced with diplomatic matters, but I was running a pretty hefty mental reinforcement giving me comparatively greater brain-power, and was likely a fair bit more intelligent than he was to begin with. Most importantly, I wasn't behaving how he expected and it had been keeping him on his back foot for the most part.

If he thought this would be easy, he was dead wrong. I felt like the Daimyo's representative wanted to cradle his face in his hands at the absolute mess this was becoming, but the Hokage recovered fairly well.

“You must be very impressive then, to have been appointed.”

“Thank you, Hokage-sama, for your judgment of my abilities. I hardly need say the same of you; you must know how skilled you are, as you would not be Hokage else-wise.” That was a lovely turn of phrase. Just confused enough that it could be a legitimate compliment awkwardly worded because of my young age and the formal language, but at the same time vaguely hinting that the Hokage was less skilled than he appeared.

Deciding to interject and give time for people to re-evaluate the circumstances, our mediator redirected the conversation to meaningless platitudes about the trip here, the local vegetation and flowers and such. Eventually it turned back towards business and the advisers joined into the conversation; we fenced a bit more, less aggressively, and with far more advantage to Sarutobi. I carefully avoided any openings that led to Kushina's absence until eventually Danzo lost patience.

“And what of Kushina-sama? Was her arrival delayed?”

“Kushina-sama? Why would she be coming? Did you receive another faulty informant's report?” I could see the annoyance in his eyes.

“The agreement we signed during the Uzushiogakure Epidemic was for Tsunade to go with all speed and do what she could as a medic; in return, Uzushiogakure would send us Kushina-sama to become the next host of the Kyubi.” He managed to say it without grinding his teeth in annoyance, I was impressed. But I was definitely going to turn up the heat.

“Ah yes. The Uzushiogakure Epidemic. A true tragedy, but you already knew that, didn't you Danzo-san?” Let's see what pigeons that cat manages to catch, I thought as the Hokage's chakra pulsed in what I thought was interest. “And such a shame that though Tsunade arrived, she was too late to add to the efforts of our own doctors.” No reason not to make them seem like petty contract-lawyers (which they were, the bastards). “But, as for Kushina-sama, I remember no such agreement.”

By this point, everyone's attention was solidly on our back-and-forth. Danzo's irritation was apparent; he must have been seriously pissed.

“Do you deny that Uzushiogakure promised us a host for the Kyubi?”

“Ah, I see the problem now. I suppose you have not had a chance to read the documents we presented you with yet. Fortunately, I prepared and have brought copies. Sachiko.” At the command, Sachiko passed me copies of two documents. “The first is the agreement between Konohagakure and Uzushiogakure for support. The second is Kazuo-dono and Kazuo-kaka's missives as to how Uzushiogakure is resolving its agreement. Perhaps you should review them.”

I bowed, and presented the documents to a silent Hokage. In fact, the whole room was silent and still. When I mentioned Kazuo-dono and Kazuo-kaka as two separate individuals, I like the think that Sarutobi, Danzo, and their other lickspittles arseholes clenched in knowledge of the reaming they were about to receive.

Ok, granted, not such a great reaming, but they thought they were getting sweet, naive Kushina and got her rather spikier, sharper cousin instead, the same person who had at least held his own at the adult's table. Let them have their minor victory; may they choke on it and on me.

The Hokage read the documents, going over the provisions of my secondment several times before passing it to Danzo and looking up at me.

“So you're to be the next host.” It wasn't quite a question, more a statement, but I nodded and answered anyways.

“Exactly. I was originally intending to report tomorrow morning in my person of Whirlpool Reserve Militia, Recruit-Sergeant Uzumaki Daichi. Would that still be agreeable?” I asked with the faintest hint of amusement in my tone.

“Of course. Nine o'clock?”

“I'll be here, Hokage-sama.”

By this point Danzo had finished and demonstrated that he really hadn't quite recovered his calm yet.

“So you're the candidate? Do you have the Adamantine Chains?” That, that was over the line, especially in this diplomatic setting where I represented the Daimyo of Whirlpool and our meeting was mediated by the Fire Daimyo's representative. If this weren't informal, I might have had to call him out in an honor duel or demand punishment from the Hokage; I wasn't quite sure which. So, of course, I capitalized.

“Are you seriously challenging the word of the Daimyo of Whirlpool in front of me, his official representative to Konohagakure? You forget your place, ninja.”

See, socially speaking, only the Hokage out-ranked me as he was lord of a Great Village. Normally I, as a lesser appointee of a Daimyo and Danzo, as a greater adviser to the Hokage, would have equal-ish rank. It depended somewhat on circumstance; when acting in some of my duties, I was considered Kazuo-kaka's direct representative, in which case I ranked higher.

But, in another sense, ninja ranked below any samurai, even so poor an example as Ichirou, save for perhaps the Kage who was recognized as an independent city-lord by his Daimyo, and some ninja clans which had their own patents of nobility. I ranked, as did many Uzumaki, as a samurai. As soon as Danzo questioned my Daimyo's signed documents to my face, I was able to rebuke him.

And now the bastard would have to bow his head or face censure; if he insulted me or the Daimyo at all at this point I could claim insult and break the agreement on my Lord's behalf. If we were somewhere like the Land of Iron, I could request, and would have to be granted, his head. Unfortunately for this instance at least, the Land of Fire was somewhat less permissive towards the samurai class.

He bowed in dogeza.

“I apologize for my thoughtless words. Please forgive me.” He stayed down, as was proper until I acknowledged him.

“I think that's both of our problem, Danzo.” I purposefully left out the honorific here. “We speak, and act, without thinking of the potential consequences. You know, the infiltrators who spread the plague to Uzushiogakure were similar, acting without thinking. Had they thought, they would have known that had that disease spread, it would have spread throughout all the Elemental Nations. It might have even killed them, the ones that spread it. So, either they trusted our quarantine measures, or they already had a cure, or they were foolish. Not to mention the kind of damage that Uzushiogakure's sealers might have done were they made mad with grief. But I digress. I should not blame you for the same fault I have, neh? Raise your head, Danzo-san, your misspoken words are forgotten.”

By the variation in people's chakra, that warning was well understood. Let's see you wiggle out of this one, Danzo.

“Now, I think we are all tired. It has been a long trip, and an eventful day. I will come calling at nine in the morning, as we discussed, Hokage-sama.” And so after a series of goodbyes, we left and went back to the Consulate.

Along the way, the Head Priest came up next to me and after activating a privacy seal spoke.

“You're playing a dangerous game.”

“I know, Master. But, in this town, it's the only game to play, I fear.”

“Are you properly prepared?”

“They need me. And I've already taken measures.”

“And these measures are sufficient?”

“I would say more than. And have no fear, they breach no Laws.”

“Good. I'm glad you're prepared. It would be a shame to lose such a promising Sealer. Good night.”

“Good night, Master.”

I had taken measures too. I had used up the majority of the chakra I had been hoarding over the previous years after the failure of Operation: Hammer of God. Just before leaving Uzushiogakure, I initiated Project Thor: The Sequel.

It was an upgraded version of Hammer of God, using the strongest anti-laser shields I could come up with, a slightly customized visual distortion seal that would hopefully throw off radar targeting, illusion seals for spoof-targets, heat-sink seals designed to deal with volcanoes to reduce the damage from laser fire that did get through, and twice as many rods as necessary. Honestly, with the seals already designed or stock seals available with my greater knowledge level, the thing was almost embarrassingly simple to prepare, and only took me a couple days to design and build.

The trigger was a seal on my body; as soon as I died, or failed to renew the signal on a monthly basis, the bombardment would activate, with the payload seal already in an optimal firing position above Konohagakure. I included a chakra transfer seal to maintain the anti-void shield around the payload; it was barely noticeable against my reserves. I was still scared shitless at the idea of pissing off the Orbital Fortress, but figured if I was dead or being tortured it was worth it.

Sachiko had spotted me launching the seal the night before arriving in Konohagakure. I had warned her that if I died, or was taken, to be out of the village within 10 minutes and activate her emergency recall seal if possible. If being the Jinchuriki ever failed to protect me, I figured that this would.

As I went to sleep, I had a single thought: I may have gone a bit overboard with Danzo.