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Joie de Vivre
Chapter 14: Accouterments

Chapter 14: Accouterments

Chapter 14: Accouterments

If I had thought I knew what “busy” and “hard-working” were before, I had been totally wrong. The four months leading to my departure were a whirlwind of activity.

First off, two days after my investiture, or one day after the disease was cured (and Tsunade left in a bit of a snit due to our not sharing how exactly we did so – suck it, Konoha), I was called into a meeting with my grandparents. And not Hikaru jii-san, but rather Tou-san's parents Ojii-sama and Obaa-sama.

As you may have guessed from their names, or rather the honorifics I had to call them by, they were pretty formal. They were part of the Noble Uzumakis, and were among the higher-titles that weren't directly part of the village top leadership. Most of their income, like that of many of the other nobles, was from ships and docking or warehouse space on Wave.

They pretty much lived in “ye olde days” in their small compound, practicing a samurai lifestyle. They trained in the sword and archery, and had a number of servants and an even greater number of retainers (some of whom were from ninja families). Tou-san was the second youngest of six children, and something of a black sheep. He had made his parents rather happy by joining the guard, and performing well, but had scandalized them when he insisted on going through ninja-training. That, after all, was the position for the help.

Tou-san ended up married to Kaa-san, and since Kaa-san had higher rank within the village, his parents were fairly happy for him to marry into her family rather than vice versa as it fulfilled their social expectations. My being invested as a minor noble, and being appointed to an honorable position, especially at such a young age, had them totally tickled pink. I normally saw them on some ceremonial dates, where I would be one among many of their grandchildren. We’d attend a banquet or ceremony, and I'd typically be located in a middling-honorable seating position due to my achievements as a sealer balanced against Tou-san's actions and my own interest in the ninja arts. For them to summon me for ceremonial tea was… unexpected. Well, not even something I'd considered, really, though in retrospect it made sense.

So I prepared formally, in my new regalia and wearing my swords as was proper, and went to my grandparents for a ceremonial tea. I loved the tea in Uzushio. We had a lot of trade, and all the best tea in the Nations ended up coming through Whirlpool's ports. I hated tea ceremonies though. The damned things could last literally hours. Oh, the tea was quite good, and the whole thing was typically in very nice settings. But even with chakra reinforcement, and flexible as I was, sitting in seiza for hours was a fucking misery. I would sit in misery for what felt like forever, then eventually, finally, be allowed to drink the damned tea which could have been made in a tenth the time, cursing the rules of etiquette in my mind all the while.

We had the tea. I sat right, made the right motions, the right sounds, the right compliments. I was sure this formal tea was only meant to see if they can make me sweat while I waited until Ojii-sama revealed the purpose of my visit. Eventually proprieties had been served, and Ojii-sama said the first meaningful thing of the whole visit.

“Your father has raised an excellent son. You are truly a credit to your blood.” God, but I wanted to say something sarcastic. But I just nodded stoically. He seemed approving.

“You now need the proper accouterments that go with your station.” I was thinking that I might be getting a gift of money to help me uphold the expectations of my new station. That would be in keeping, at least, with our general history; I tended to get a carefully calculated gift of money on all the socially expected occasions, but little else. Maybe I'd get some property, I thought, or a stake in some ships to provide an income. If he was being overly samurai, possibly an armor. But what happened next broke every expectation I had, even the most ridiculous.

“Sachiko, come!” he commanded in a slightly raised voice. The screen door on the side of the room slid open, and a teenager in a functional but sharp looking uniform was revealed kneeling behind it.

She was, at a guess, about 14 years old, with dark hair pulled into a ponytail behind her. She seemed fairly fit, with toned muscles and lithe movements that spoke to training rather than merely an active lifestyle. I surmised she was likely a combat-trained retainer.

She bowed from her kneeling position to Ojii-sama, and then shuffled into the room, settling off to the side in a respectful seiza that managed to indicate a degree of submission. Her movements were smooth, showing her familiarity with this sort of formality, but didn't have that “stick in uncomfortable places” stiffness endemic to the samurai retainers, so I guessed she was likely a retainer from a ninja family.

“Sachiko, my grandson has recently been invested as a Junior Baron Courtier of the Fifth Rank and appointed Assistant to the Ambassador to the Fire Daimyo's court.” That was actually pretty damned impressive. My title was new enough that even I didn't know it, at least not without looking at the scroll that served as my Patent of Nobility, and here's Ojii-sama rattling it off like nothing. This whole thing clearly meant more to him than I had realized.

While Ojii-sama paused in his usual way after saying something for it to sink in, my mind was spinning into all sorts of strange directions. I was really worried for a moment that he was going to try and have me sleep with her or something crazy like that; the old man was about a hundred, and could easily have forgotten when kids went through puberty. I was mercifully spared the embarrassment of explaining, in this hyper-formal setting, that I wasn't actually capable of sex yet, or deciding to disappear with her and have an awkward conversation until enough time had passed. Honestly, all that might have been easier.

“I wish for you to become my grandson's first retainer, Sachiko.” Holy shit.

No, seriously. This was super fucked up. Dear old gramps had just basically given me someone as a cross between my slave and my bodyguard and minion-in-chief (pro tempore). Of course, calling her a slave would be a massive insult, to the point she might kill herself, so I would never do that. But in effect, it's what she was.

She would have been raised literally from birth to serve; Danzo had nothing on a good traditional samurai conditioning regime. I could probably have her do just about anything; as a ninja retainer, she didn't really have honor of her own beyond what I gave her. Basically, she could do anything ordered, no matter how dishonorable it might normally be, because her honor came not from her actions but by fulfilling my commands.

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If you want an example of how fucked up people could become under such a regime, well the White Fang, Hatake Kakashi's father in the original canon, was probably once from a retainer family and held those morals, with the Third Hokage as his master. As a full grown man, with a kid, he finally managed to break programming to save people as close to him as younger brothers from certain death; the shame, the moral misery he experienced because of the failure to complete his orders from his surrogate lord, the Hokage, led to his suicide.

This was probably my grandfather's antiquated way of showing approval and apologizing for the distance between us; it was also likely, in retrospect, to be an outreach to Tou-san. By showing me such a conspicuous honor - and being given a retainer valuable enough to have sworn direct oaths of fealty at such a young age was a real honor – it would also show honor to Tou-san. Basically, Ojii-sama was trying to repair the rifts that his honor originally demanded, and doing so in a way commensurate with his honor.

If this had been happening to anyone other than me, I'd have loved it; this is what the damned theatre should have been about, if mocking such an ancient and revered tradition wasn't likely to end in an honor-duel. On that level, this was really nice.

On another level, it's about a hundred times worse than giving a seven-almost-eight year old kid a puppy right before he leaves for summer camp, and expecting the kid to look after the puppy during summer camp.

It was only shock and the combination of British (first life), and then (partially) Samurai upbringings that let me keep my shit and my straight face. And that was important; while I was biologically a kid, I had been appointed a title by the Daimyo, our Clan-leader, and would thus be dishonoring him, my grandfather, and myself if I behaved inappropriately.

But I really felt for this girl. Here she was, just entering her teenage years. She had likely worked herself to the bone to gain scraps of attention and approval. And she had excelled. And then the reward for that excellence? Being given literally as an accoutrement, a trapping, an accessory to my station. Of course, this station would be in a foreign city about 400 miles away as the crow flies. And her poor parents. Her very name, Sachiko, meant happiness (sachi) and child (ko). So I was taking their “child of happiness”, possibly their first child, maybe after a trying time to give birth, and I was going to take her to the snake's pit of Konohagakure. She might be their only child; their line might end because of this, Ojii-sama's gift.

I tried the gentle dance of refusal, but knew Ojii-sama would not do this without being sure. I had a greater chance of holding back the tide.

“I am greatly honored, Ojii-sama. But, I would not wish to deprive you of a retainer with such skills as Sachiko,” I tried as my opening gambit.

“I insist. I assure you our family has sufficient retainers that one can be spared to your service,” the old bastard replied with a faint hint of amusement in his eye. He already knew how this would end, but found my efforts at this dance amusing.

“I meant no insult, no such insinuation, Ojii-sama,” I returned quickly.

“Oh, then do you question Sachiko's skills? If you prefer, you may give her a test yourself, or would you prefer another?” Sachiko managed to keep her cool appearance, but that was cruel.

“Not at all Ojii-sama. After all, any that has your personal recommendation must be very highly skilled.” I could sense Sachiko's well controlled chakra lighten a bit at that.

“Good. Then it is settled.” And it was.

With her previous oath released, and a new one sworn to me in blood, I had my first retainer, Hisakawa Sachiko. And these oaths aren't like the western ones, promising loyalty for fealty, protection for service; no, not at all. She promised her obedience, her skills, her blood to me, taking no other honor but what I gave her. I was suitably somber; this was one of the most important moments of her life. After the ceremony of fealty, I turned to her.

“Sachiko-san.”

“Yes, Uzumaki-dono.”

“I would have you address me as Daichi-sama, Sachiko.” That was about as informal as I could try with her; baby steps, I thought, would be the way to go. She gave a brief bow of her understanding, and I decided to explain my reasoning. The sooner I could get her treating me as human rather than some sort of minor god, the better.

“After all, things will doubtless be confusing otherwise, and you are my first retainer and head of my Retinue Guard and household.” This was something of a sop to her; she may no longer be in direct service to my grandfather, a greater lord than I, but at least she was the head of the Retinue and household for a lord. A position as in my Retinue was actually a fairly high honor, even with a lord as young as I, mostly due to my prowess with seals. And there were some thousand or so Uzumaki on the island, all told, so calling me “Uzumaki” anything would get old fast.

“But what I meant to say, Sachiko-san, is that we will be leaving in just over 4 months, after my eighth birthday, so I might take up my post in Konohagakure. Until then, I will be practicing every morning from dawn until three hours after with my father; I expect you to join me so we might become accustomed to fighting together.” Though I was facing Sachiko, I could tell that my grandfather, the old warrior, clearly approved of my preparations.

“Very good, Daichi-san. Your talent continues to impress me. Sachiko will, with your approval, have the rest of the day and night to herself, and move into your household tomorrow.” Shit. I'd have to warn my parents; Tou-san would definitely understand, but Kaa-san saw all this as antiquated (which it was). She'd totally make fun of me; I'd have to make sure she treated poor Sachiko well. Oh god. Kushina. I just knew she'd be a total brat about the whole thing. I'd just have to make sure Sachiko understood that as my retainer, all she had to care about was my approval. And I could start then.

“Thank you, Ojii-sama for your consideration for my retainer. I am deeply appreciative.” I bowed to my grandfather; he nodded back having clearly understood the subtext, and approved.

Some more meaningless pleasantries and a small, partially eaten snack later, and I was on my way out of Ojii-sama's home with Sachiko a step behind and to the left. She had certainly mastered silent movement; if I wasn't able to sense chakra, I would never have known she was there, and even her chakra was reasonably well controlled and concealed.

“Sachiko-san,” I began, then gave a small pause to make emphasize what followed. “Thank you for giving me your oath. Know that I will cherish it, and value you. From this day forward, disregard any displeasure but my own, and believe no censure that does not come directly from me in person. Hopefully, in time, you can find it in yourself to be my friend, as well as my vassal. Is this understood?”

“Yes, Daichi-sama.” And to this day, I am in awe of her; her composure in being given to a callow youth, and her ability to take the pompous pronouncements of a seven year old seriously. To my credit though, she was somewhat more relaxed.

That night, when I explained the situation to my parents and asked their forbearance towards her, especially from Kaa-san, I got hugged tightly by a woman slightly teary at “how quickly her little boy is becoming a man” while my Tou-san looked on approvingly. It was worth it though; Kaa-san promised to treat Sachiko with all due caution towards her feelings, and even offered to give her some sealing training when she was too exhausted from Tou-san's training.

And Tou-san was doubtless going to train her into the ground; as a heavy combat specialist with both Samurai and Ninja training, he was well suited and motivated to prepare Sachiko for a life of protecting his only son. That said, it was unlikely I'd remain his only son for long; apparently my parents were under pressure to have more children to see if any would be geniuses like me. Someone had even broached the topic of Tou-san taking concubines, though it was generally agreed that Kaa-san was responsible for my inclination to sealing.

It was a bittersweet idea. I was glad for my parents, and happy both that our family would grow and that I was being seen as such a valuable person. But the idea of missing my to-be siblings’ childhoods just made me more pissed off with Konohagakure.