I was about to reply to his threat but I see someone coming up behind the would-be mugger. So I just stare blankly at him. “Are you slow in the head give me the tails or I will kill you!" Mr mugger yells at me.
“But I want to die” I replied while smiling. “What? Ok then, hand over the tails and I will kill you?” Instead of replying this time I stare at him with a mischievous smile on my face as Mr mugger gets hit on the head from behind.
“Oh thank you, my hero, whatever would I have done without you,” I say trying to act serious, and failing miserably.
“Oh shut up. I am not blind you know, I can see your bag, anyone who can kill that many rats could easily take this guy. So why didn't you? And what's up with wanting to die? You clearly don't or you would be long dead down here” The newcomer asks.
“Both of those questions have the same answer, I will tell you if I can ask my own question,” I say looking at the newcomer. “Sure why not” my ‘hero’ agrees.
“Well you see I was bored and wanted to see what you would do.”
“That's it?” ‘Hero’ asks confused “ yup now for my question, you want to be friends?” [I may not act like it but I was still just an 8-year old who lost his home after being tormented by my father figure, and a friend may be nice, he could also be a good source of information. If worse comes to worst I could just eat him.]
“ Um sure, my names Dave, and I am the son of a tailor. What’s your name?”[Yay new friend well really it's my first friend, so yay first friend.] “Jacob, so Dave you want to grab that guys tails so we can leave?”
“You don't want any?” he asks as he is emptying the guys bag into his own [a little late to be asking that mate] “ Nah I got like 60 of the things, bag can't hold anymore let's go I want to get some sunshine” without looking back I change back to my human eyes and increased my sense of smell while reducing my hearing, as I change the rest of my senses back to my normal 0.5 more than normal humans.
“60! You must be joking, I only got 28 and that's adding the other guys to my bag. How did you find so many rats?”
“Trade secret,” I reply.
“Oh come on man I thought we were friends!”
“We have been friends for less than an hour you are not allowed to pull that card.”
Our good-natured bickering lasted until we reached the adventure guild desk to hand in the job. The Lady at the desk is different this time. This one is far more beautiful and friendly-looking. Dave reaches the desk first but when he looks at the lady his eyes glaze over and his mouth hangs open. I stand there looking at him expectantly, and then I smell a sweet smell coming from the lady that seems to be trying to make me sexually attracted to her.
“Oh for fuck sake Dave” I take his bag and hand it over to the lady along with my own. “He has 28 rat tails from the sewer job for midgets and I have 60 give us our money and stop trying to seduce 12-year-olds it is fucking weird.”
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She looks at me in surprise as she stops the smell that is coming off of her. “Hahaha sorry about that it is sort of my right of passage for new people who turn up at the guild even if they are not part of it. Teaches them not to mess with me you know?”
“Yeah sure it is lady, now if we could have our money it would greatly be appreciated.” But she continues like I didn't even open my mouth. “But you are the first not to be affected and you killed 60 rats in less than a day at such a young age. You are interesting, I will make you my mission.”
“You fucking what? Your mission? Yeah no thank you, but that money would be great though”
“I wonder what I could do with you? What will you accomplish in the future?”
“Not much if I don't get paid. Wait what do you mean ‘do with me’? Can I talk to the guild master please?”
“You are. Now get closer I want to get a better look at you”
“Shit. Who put you a crazy lady in charge? And there is no way I am getting closer to you. Can I talk to the other lady she was way nicer and easier to deal with”
“Another lady? Are you cheating on me already? How could you break my maiden heart?”
Losing my temper I may or may not have gone a little too far. “ A maiden my ass, I can hear you whoring your pitiful body out to any man, woman and everything in between for a single copper. And that's not even mentioning what you do to the stray cats and dogs you find on the streets.”
The Guildhall goes completely silent as a cold and dark aura bust from the desk lady making my body freeze in primal terror, but I remain eye contact with her and plaster a smile on my face.
“HAHAHAHAHAHA” she lets out a very unladylike laugh as the aura disappears “You are an interesting kid, here's your money and for the love, all, go to a bathhouse. But don’t forget to come back anytime. ”
“Thank you,” I say as I catch my and David’s money [what is a bathhouse?] I turn to hand it to him but the bastard was still completely spaced out with drool coming out his mouth even without the lady’s pheromones. “ Seriously Dave?” I wave my hand in front of his face, “ You are such a ladies man I bet you have a different one warming your bed each night with your skill of staring at them blankly for 5 minutes straight.” I say as I slap his money bag into his hands while I laugh.
“Wait, what? Oh, money, that's good” Continuing to laugh I walk out of the guildhall dragging Dave behind me. “Come on lover boy, I got a date with a bathhouse and you are introducing me.”
“Loverboy? But yeah we need a long hot bath after going in the sewers for most of the day. It was a good thing I did though, I got 7S!”
“Yes we differently need a bath, you may need a cold one to help you with your little friend there,” I say as I nod to Dave as he shows a horrified expression as he adjusts his pants [what is a bath!]. Trying to change the subject he says “But you have to be happy you got a whole 15S. Your family is going to be proud when you show them.”
My steps falter a step as the smile temporary falls off my face [Family huh?] But in a heartbeat, I am back to normal but Dave catches my expression. “Oh shit, I am sorry Jacob…” Before he can continue our path is blocked by a group of boys around Dave’s age. [This should be fun, new friends or new playthings?]
“Oh look Davey got himself a boyfriend. But that's odd, thought that the whole reason you went to roll around in the City's shit was to impress Rebecca” [Play things it is. yay]
“Oh, what a clever and unique insult, you must be the local genius it is a pleasure to meet you. I am Jacob Dave's new boy toy.” I say while holding out my hand for the ringleader to shake. Meanwhile, Dave looks equally amused and afraid.
The ringleader looks confused for a moment as he looks at my hand and then at me, then seemingly recovering “ so you are a sword swallower then? Haha then you should be used to getting on your hands and knees, so why don't you just that and beg me not to break your little boyfriend” He says as he puts a hand on my shoulder and tries to push me down.
Not one to like being forced on to my hands and knees I step up to him and punch him in the gut with about 25% of my strength but he still gets lifted off the ground by a foot. As I punch him I make him aroused so when he falls to the floor is moaning with a hard-on as he is coughing and sputtering blood, which is quite the impressive feat on his part.
Looking down on him a laugh "Well your weird fetishes aside it was nice meeting you, toodles."
Stepping past the other two boys as they back away from me I gesture and Dave follows me. “Well that was dramatic he says while laughing”. “Well, I got to put on a show if it lets us get to the bathhouse faster. By the way, what is a bathhouse?”
“Well, it is a house. With bathes in it,” he says while looking at me like I am stupid. [But I can't help it, we never had a ‘bathe’ in the church and Pauls memories are pretty random.] “Well I should have seen that coming”
“How do you not know what a bath is? You know never mind you will find out when we get there, it will be a surprise.”
“Speaking of the bathhouse here we are.”