Dear Stupid Diary,

I think this is stupid and as such you will forever be named Stupid Diary or SD for short. You only exist because Linda threatened to stab me in the hippocampus if I didn't start one(are your reading this Linda? I'm writing in this stupid thing).

As far as Witch doctors Linda isn't too bad. Far better than the assholes at the VA. She hasn't threatened to send me to the nut house. Not yet anyways. She didn't slap a bunch of labels on me either. Though she did agree with the VA's diagnosis of PTSD. She says we are going to start CBT(to my relief it doesn't stand for cock and ball torture). For now she wants me to “settle in to civilian life.” Whatever that is suppose to mean. With a full pension and disability pay it isn't like I have to work or anything. Linda wants me to seriously consider using my GI bill and going back to school. I'm not a brainiac though. I was just a 0311, a grunt.

Linda says watching e-sports and hooch are not the only joys in life(spoiler: they are). I never really had plans to leave the corps. I never really made a plan beyond my next deployment. Now that plan is FUBAR and I haven't really thought of what to do next.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

I bought a condo in the upper-west side of NYC. It's not a bad neighborhood but the city just feels...empty? I guess? Not that I mind too much, big crowds still make me itchy. Still it seems like the only time the city comes to life is at night. I always planned on moving here because the backwater town I grew up in was always just a little too slow. Yet, some days that little town seems more alive than this place. I don't think I've seen a manual driven car since I arrived. Hell most days the streets and sidewalks are just empty.

I don't know DS maybe I should take up painting or something? I'm use to keeping my hands busy, boots on the ground and always moving. Having nothing to do just feels wrong. Most days I just read or surf the net. I don't know how many wiki pages I've scrolled through(did you know the mitochondria is the power house of the cell?).

I have an appointment with Linda tomorrow. I'll ask her about it then maybe she'll have some good ideas. I still have that fantasy novel to finish and a few shows to catch up on. Though can you believe after next month they won't be digital broadcasting anymore!? Everything is going to net-cast. Which means I have to pay just to watch basic shows! Talk about a load of crap.

I know V-gear is cheap now but still. Doesn't anyone remember the old manga's? Knowing my luck the thing would short circuit and cook what little is left of my brain. All the guys on base use to play Call to Duty and Ret-warfare. It seems like that's all anyone does anymore is play video games or hang in virtual space. They were always too expensive when I was younger and I never really liked video games. I sure as hell don't want to play any war games. I experienced enough of that in real life.

Well DS I'm signing off for the night.

I still hate you.