Knowing what I know now about spell stretching and alchemy, I searched the spider’s corpse for valuable parts. They were burned, but I took what I thought were the poison glands and fangs along with the spinnerets from the abdomen. Stored the grizzly trophies in my sack and started off.

As I began walking, the smell of burnt hair faded a bit, leaving the crispy spider smelling something like overdone friend chicken. I wonder how that would taste? Circling back to the spider corpse, I tore off a leg.

THIS WAS AMAZING! I need some drawn butter in the worst way, but it tasted like grilled crab. I stored the legs in my sack and walked off gnawing on one of them. Imagine crab legs as long as your arm. I’m living the dream! I started trying to creep off, to sneak up on the next monster, but kept crunching on spider leg. That made it even harder than normal for me to sneak. I finally finished it up and wiped my hands on my trousers. Popping my neck and it was go time!

I moved over to the right wall. The logic was something could only approach me from the left if I was over here. Creeping along, I listened intently. Until you’re in a high threat environment, you don’t realize you are capable of listening intently, but you are. People say, “Oh, I couldn’t do the thing if my life depended on it.” You’d be amazed what you can do if your life actually depends on it.

Enough philosophizing. I need to concentrate. I’d take a step, listen and look around, then take another step. It’s exhausting being so alert, but much better than being eaten.

At the edge of my vision, I see an opening for what may be a cave or possibly just a cubby. Edging up to it, I got out my new mirror. The bronze shaded reflection was warped but good enough. There were bones and offal scattered around but the cave, for cave it was, extended back into darkness.

I put the hand mirror back into its place in my bandolier. Getting a firm grip on my shield with axe in right hand, I rounded the turn. Something gnawed the bones, so I most likely wasn’t walking into a spider’s den. Just to be certain I opened the pouch the rabbit’s horn was stored in, so I could easily access it.

Walk a couple of steps, stop and listen. After a few minutes, I heard something, a repeated dull slurping sound. The cave twisted so I couldn’t see that far down it, but there wasn’t anything to the limit of my vision. Walk a couple of steps, stop and listen.

There was definitely something there. I could hear what sounded like licking an ice cream cone, but was really sloppy up ahead. The cave fish hooked around so I couldn’t see. It was more a glurph noise than chewing, but had the same repetitive vibe and seemed to warn me off. I came up to the edge of the cavern wall before it turned and got out my mirror. I put the leather handle around my left hand and reached forward.

Holding it out… SOMETHING HIT MY HAND! The mirror went flying. My fingers felt like they were burning. I stumbled back, getting a grip on my shield and readying my axe.

-1 hp

A jello-like pseudopod extended around the corner. I cut at it with my axe and it fell into two parts. The rear portion withdrew, the cut off part dropped to the floor and formed a ball, scooting back around out of sight. What the hell was that?

I pulled back another few feet and sat, ready. The main body came around the edge of the stone wall. It was a green bean bag looking thing that was slightly translucent. It extended a forest of pseudopods, blindly questing for something to touch.

I backed off again. One of the formless arms leaned out towards me and I hacked it off. The severed end dropped off and got incorporated back into the main body of the slime. More of the arms reached out. I skipped back, getting a few more feet of separation.

Looking back over my shoulder, it was clearly there, so I jogged backwards. Once I’d created ten or fifteen feet of space, I dropped my axe back into its belt loop and leaned my shield on the cave wall. I poured water on my hand from the bota on my belt and started twisting my fingers while saying the chant.

The snowball appeared in my hand. I held it up to my chin, supported by my right hand with my left holding that wrist. Stepping forward and letting the ball’s weight bring my hand down, I underhand flung it at the slime.

The icy ball rolled forward and impacted. Several of the pseudopods around the strike zone froze. I grabbed my axe and ran forward, breaking them off with quick hits and kicking the icy chunks away. Other jelly-like arms reached for me and I ran off again, grabbing my shield as I went.

Okay, I could damage it. It didn’t seem like a lot, but it felt that. Falling back around twenty feet this time, I again set my shield down. Poured the water into my hand and did the chant with gestures.

I bowled the Snowball. Against a more together target, I probably would have missed as it scooted off to the side, but I hit a glancing blow. Again, flailing pseudopods froze in place, some breaking off from their own weight. I grabbed my shield and ran forward, laying about the impact point with the big hide and wood disk.

Stolen story; please report.

The frozen arms broke off. Some shattered when hit by the shield’s weight. I kicked the frosted chunks out into the cave. Then I ran.

The slime looked smaller. I’d scattered a fair amount of its body mass off into the cave. Running down the cavern again, I dipped my hand into the pocket that had the sulphur dust.

I could see something floating in the center of the slime now. Back in the game, these things always had a core. That was the part of it that’s vulnerable to normal weapons. I took a deep breath, watching the hide on my shield sizzle and crisp.

If I’m going to get to that core, magical damage is my only shot. Summoning horned rabbits would just feed the thing. I’d have to get in close and Candleflame it. I chanted, walking forward with shield held at the ready.

The inch long jet of flame sparked out from my right hand and I curled those fingers into a fist. I jumped. Short dwarven legs weren’t made for jumping. You’d never see one of my people in the Olympics. We were heavy though, and those few inches up in the air meant I came down like a ton of bricks.

I curled up behind my shield, trying to tuck legs and arms into it. IMPACT. Slime splashed everywhere. My shield was sizzling for real now, sounding like one of the fajitas they serve at Chilis. Man, I miss Chilis. FOCUS.

I punched, and it caught on fire. It didn’t erupt like Zeke’s pee. He should really see a doctor about that, but it burned away. I punched again.

A spot of slime got on my leg. It burned, sizzling the flesh.

-1 hp

I punched again and again. More of its mass splashed up on me.

-2 hp

It was gathering itself back up, spread out under my weight and the disk of my shield. I punched again, and the Candleflame guttered out. The orb was in sight, oozing around just under the surface. I drew my axe and sliced.

-1 hp

It burned. The blade dug into the mass of the thing and some splashed up onto my fingers. I chopped again. HIT! When I pulled the blade free, the orb, looking like the overcooked yellow of a hen’s egg, came out with it.

The pseudopods dropped to the cavern floor. I fell, still on the shield as it clattered to the ground. It was dead.

I lay there for a moment in surprise, then jumped up. Standing on the shield, I was protected from the puddle of acidic ooze all around me. I leapt, the shield shooting off behind me into the gloom.

If I stepped in the acid, it was too brief to do more than scour my boots. I’d won. I leaned against the wall of the cave and slowly sank to the ground, breathing hard.

I looked at the thing on the end of my axe. If this was a single celled being, I’d have punched through to the nucleus. Wild what you remember from biology class so long ago.

Putting the core into my sack, I got up. The shield was destroyed. The hide layer was eaten all the way, and the wood was left brittle by the acid. That sucked. Three more trophies to get.

Creeping back to the entrance of the side cave, I didn’t see any beasties. Take a few steps, stop and listen. Step, listen. There it was, a rat.

It was around seventy feet away and chewing on a mushroom. I gathered some stones and threw one, which clattered off into the darkness too far away to do more than spook the thing. I rolled my eyes. This agility score has got to come up.

On my fourth throw, I hit it in the flank. It looked up, and I roared. The thing started running towards me.

I had the horn in my hand and fingers were already twisting through the somatic component of Summon Lesser Beast. Chanting the words, the black-eared bunny appeared just beside the rat.

I backed off, axe in my right-hand bag of caltrops in my left. I dumped the bag, scattering the metal things all over the place.

The beastie stepped on the sharp bits and squealed. That was about the time my horned bunny speared it. It died, and the rabbit popped out of existence. That seemed anticlimactic. I gathered up as many of the caltrops as I could find and refilled the bag. Two more trophies to get and I have a single spell along with seven hit points.

I crept along the cavern, hard against the left wall. My axe was carried in my right hand and a bag of caltrops in my left. Walk a few steps, listen. Walk, listen.

I heard it, a squeaking in the cave ahead. Nothing could be seen yet, so I kept moving forward, slowly, so very slowly. Trying to zero in on the sound.

It was near, but I still couldn’t see anything. The cavern floor was wavy here and as I got up on a little hillock, there they were. Two rats gathered around something.

Could I take two? Let’s do it. I gathered rocks again and carefully scattered both bags of caltrops, making a relatively solid band in front of me. Rabbit horn in my left hand, I tossed a rock with my right. Hit on the first time! Red letter day indeed.

The beady eyed rodents turned towards me. Their enlarged front teeth gleaming in my darkvision. They charged.

I started chanting frantically. Fingers twisting through the runic patterns and singing the words. The two giant rodents were getting closer. Fifteen yards, then ten, five. Finally, the horned rabbit popped into existence on my side of the caltrop barrier.

The first rat stepped on it and stopped, squeaking. The second ran into the barrier, making it quite a bit further before it stopped, honking in rage and pain. I could see blood on the floor. I drew a knife and threw it at the nearer rat.

The damned thing lunged at me. My rabbit leapt at the rodent and missed. It was on my leg, biting me!

-3 hp

I chopped down with my axe, cleaving its back two legs off. The rat kept biting down. I cleaved again, chopping it away.

My horned rabbit was duelling with the remaining rodent. The rat crawled forward, having mass and sharp teeth. My bunny had speed and that horn. It stabbed forward, impaling the rat, then popped out of existence.

I gripped my axe with both hands. It dashed forward, leaving bloody paw prints on the stone floor. I chopped and missed. It didn’t.

-3 hp

I chopped again, hit! A glancing blow. It lunged at me and I kicked it. While it was on its back, my axe fell, pinning it to the sandy floor. I drew a knife and stabbed. VICTORY! I had my second priority point.