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(ISSTH Contest) Misadventures of Lord Fifth
Chapter 1: The misadventure begins

Chapter 1: The misadventure begins

Thousands of years ago… “Shut up!!!” a loud voice resounded on the whole 9th mountain followed by a loud chatter and a squawk, “Damn it! Silence Bitch! Because of your annoying ranting look what happened he died!” a colorful looking bird said while circling on a peculiar meat jelly, “What my fault? It’s yours! You suggested conning an Immortal anyways and it failed so how is it my fault? And stop swearing that’s immoral!” “Why your fault? Because of your endless ranting we were caught bitch! Why the hell did you tell him that we were conning him now our owner is dead!” The body of the two is slowly turning into transparent “When I meet you again I’ll convert you even if it means preaching to you for full…1..2..3.. uhmm…” “See you can’t even count pass to three bitch!” “Who cares! Ill convert you! CONVERT YOU PEVERTED PARROT!”

The parrot was sealed within a copper mirror while the meat jelly vanished without a trace, for thousands of years the copper mirror drifted from one person to another until a scholarly looking young man in a green robe took ownership of it, found the meat jelly and finally released the parrot sealed in the mirror.

“GO AWAY!!” the young man in the green robes shouted, “What’s his problem? Hey perverted parrot what’s his problem? I was just telling him about the rain many years ago and he exploded? Hey parrot listen to me you must live with virtue stop being perverted already and live properly, stop swearing and conning people! Hey parrot are you listen here when one tends to do bad things bad things comes back to them this is called karma, hey parrot are you listening?” “SHUT UP BITCH! That’s the reason why he exploded your endless ranting is annoying bitch! And when did you have the right to preach at me did you remember the time when you help me con that Golden Peng in the 4th mountain? And the time when we stole all the spirit stones of some sect in the 5th mountain?” “You COERCED me you perverted parrot!” “I have a name bitch! Call me Lord fifth! Not perverted parrot you bitch who can’t count even pass 3!”.

Endless banter and chattering were heard in the western dessert, cultivators were curious because wherever the sound goes the beast are either scared or running as if their lives are on the stake, so tribe tried to investigate the matters the chief sent 5 level 8 qi condensation disciples and 3 early foundation establishment cultivators, they discovered a colorful parrot with a bell on its feet.

“Zhu Hang is that bird the cause of all of this mess?” inquired by a foundation establishment cultivator “Yes sir when we found it, it was doing some despicable thing to a wolf”, Zhu Hang is an 8th level qi condensation disciple, when he found the parrot he saw something that he should have not saw, “What despicable thing speak it out!” said by the foundation establishment cultivator, “Sir the parrot did…” Zhu Hang went and told him every detail of what he saw when all of the search party heard it their faces turned sour and one of the foundation establishment cultivator said “Capture that parrot no matter what it takes, looking at everything that happened such as all of the beast fleeing it must be a powerful beast itself but be careful we still don’t know anything about it” “Yes sir Hao Shun” replied by the qi cultivators.

The 5 cultivators surrounded the parrot when suddenly a loud scream erupted within their ranks; someone’s behind was wretchedly mutilated, “BITCH! YOU DARED TO TRY TO CAPTURE LORD FIFTH? DREAM ON!” the parrot repeatedly entered every hole it could find, ears, mouth, nose and others. In the span of 10 breaths four of the qi condensations were mutilated some have lost their eyes some has their behind in an awful state.

When Zhu Hang saw all of his companions dead he tried to run hoping his superiors will come and save him, this was his first time seeing such despicable and dreadful parrot, “Dear honorable beast please calm your anger! I was ordered to capture you honorable sir please spare me!” “Humph!” a cold harrumph was heard when two of the late foundation establishment cultivator attacked the perverted parrot, to them capturing this trifling beast is as easy as trampling an ant, Hao Shun however was silent pondering and observing, because for some reason there is something amiss in this parrot.

“Hey bitch! Try to at least help me here, some fools are trying to capture us both” The parrot muttered “Not my problem you immoral parrot their target is you not me” “If in anyways I get captured you’ll suffer a lot bitch! You hypocritical bastard don’t you remember the time when I saved you when a giant tried to eat you alive? Or when the time when a nascent soul cultivator tried to refine you to become pills?” “IT WAS YOUR FAULT THE GIANT TRIED TO EAT ME! YOU DID SOMETHING IMMORAL TO IT SO I WAS TARGETED YOU STUPID PARROT! Urghhh… ill help you just this once ok”

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

Suddenly a bright light flashed, Zhu Hang, Hao Shun and the others were blinded by the sudden bright light so they were on the highest alert ready to defend themselves in case of anything happening, but when the bright light disappeared they saw something surprising.

“Who are you?! Give us the beast you thief! We found it first!” said by a foundation establishment cultivator, “I’ll KILL YOU BITCH!” The unknown man shouted, he suddenly appeared behind one of the foundation establishment cultivator and attacked his behind with a pointy finger

A loud scream suddenly erupted “Despicable brat!”, the remaining people were dumbfounded such despicable technique, such humiliation and pain they could never imagine how it feels like to be attacked by that “technique”.

“It’s that parrot! He transformed into a cultivator!” Shouted Hao Shun, “So this is why I felt that something is amiss but still how did it transformed into a cultivator? Is it magic treasures or skill?” Hao Shun was in deep thought when suddenly a loud explosion happened, when he looked again he saw his companion in the ground whose behind became bloodied and a number five was written on his chest

They were dumbstruck on what they saw, suddenly Hao Shun’s companion attacked bellowing with all his might, his hands flash into some complicated gestures this magic is used to tame wild beast, Hao Shun’s companion is trying to spellbound the beast with this magic when suddenly a large shield erupted, the shields color is somewhat brownish but has a tint of iron color and the texture was not solid but jelly like

“That’s the treasure seize it!” shouted Hao Shun but before he could even act his companion met the same fate as the previous, his behind is bloodied while there’s a number 5 on his chest

“Please wait exalted sir please spare us we will do anything for you please calm your anger and spare us” when Hao Shun saw that there is no way for them to defeat the parrot he decided to just surrender and see what happens, Zhu Hang also kneeled behind Hao Shun having a tinge of fear in his eyes, what he just saw terrified him to death, he doesn’t want to be killed that way, having your behind bloodied and face mutilated, he hoped that the creature will have mercy on them

“Ok since I’m merciful enough I’ll spare your life but you must become my followers!” “What your followers it’s OUR FOLLOWERS!” “Shut up BITCH! You just destroyed the mood with your annoying ranting again!” when Zhu Hang and Hao Shun saw the two they were flabbergasted because of the condition of surrender and the circumstances of the two

How could both of them become followers with this beast? When their tribe will ever hear that they betrayed their tribe they will be hunted down and killed, they will have no future following this two so Hao Shun said that “Honorable beast we can’t become your followers because it still needs the acceptance of our tribe, so may we ask you to follow us first to our tribe so that we may ask for permission to become your follower?” he’s planning to trap the beast in their tribe, with so many experts within their tribe it is impossible for this beast to escape “When this damnable beast is captured ill force it to give me all of its treasure”

“I accept so lead the way, but don’t do anything fishy or you’ll lose your lives” said the parrot, Hao Shun was overjoyed because the beast has taken the bait while Zhu Hang is just happy to be spared from death. “Why did you accept stupid parrot it’s obvious that it’s a trap” said by the meat jelly in a hush tone “FOOL! Not just a bitch but also a fool I accepted because the more the people the more the profit!” the parrot is thinking on just how many spirit stones he can take in the tribe of these two idiots when suddenly they saw some dark smoke rising into the sky, all of them rushed immediately, dark premonition is looming on Hao Shun’s mind

When they finally arrived they saw a great battle of beast versus man some of the human cultivators are fighting with their all against different kinds of beast of many levels, some cultivators are protecting the mortals the old, women, and children are protected by them no matter how injured they become they still defended them with their lives, Hao Shun and Zhu Hang rushed immediately to help their tribes man.

“Hahaha! Look it’s your karma perverted parrot Hahaha!” “SHUT UP YOU DAMN BITCH!! DAMNATION! Eh? Wait… they’re all fluffy the beasts are ALL FLUFFY! HAHAHAHAHA! IT’S MY LUCKY DAY BITCH! MY LUCKY DAY I TELL YOU! With many to choose from, this is somewhat the same with eat all you can! Wait my fluffies Lord Fifth is coming HAHAHAHA!”

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