From a young age, Simon had been throwing himself in front of trucks.

No, he wasn’t suicidal. The reason was simple. Like every disillusioned teenage boy on the planet, he wanted to be isekaied.

And yet. His luck was so shit that he hasn’t even died yet.

He had tried. Oh, he had tried. He had so many bruises. But every time, they slowed down just before impact. Goddamn truckers. They couldn’t even run people over like the good old days.

And so it was that pleasant spring day that all the boys and girls in his class were going on a field trip. They were going to the museum, to inspire themselves to create their own exhibits. Meanwhile, all their teachers could yap about how it was an amazing activity that they couldn’t do back in their day.

Yet all Simon could think while riding the bus was that it was a waste of his time. He could be throwing himself in front of trucks using this time, goddamn it!

Starting out the window and tuning out his “friend” Oscar, he wished he could be isekaied, and he prayed to the isekai gods.

Of course they didn’t hear him. He was a puny mortal, why would any God care about him? I bet you know where this story is going though, you sneaky reader.

In the middle of an intersection, Simon’s eyes widened as he saw a truck barreling straight towards the bus. It was impossible. Could it really be true?

Which is why he said nothing about the impending death of everyone in the bus.

“Welcome heroes, to the land of Emraldia. We have called you to this world because you are the only ones who can stop the destruction of this world caused by the demon king.” A beautiful princess pleaded the class of freshman.

Simon pumped his fist. “Fuck yes,” he hissed.

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The princess frowned at him. “What was that?”

“Nothing,” he said innocently.

The princess was a perfect sculpture, like some kind of Snow White. Pale skin and golden locks made her the standard isekai princess.

She brought out a crystal globe, perfectly round and shiny. “This is an examiner’s crystal. It will show me your attributes.”

Another student raised his hand. Simon knew this one, he was the one who was popular and stuff… oh yeah, his name was Arthur. “Uh, what are attributes?”

She smiled kindly. “They’re the skills and abilities the goddess gave you, as well as your natural capabilities. To view them, simply say it think ‘system-‘“

At this point, Simon tuned her out. This was standard isekai shit. He knew this! “System,” he whispered.

[Simon]

Lvl: 1

Str: 4

Agl: 6

Con: 3

Wis: 6

Int: 12

Wil: 2

Skills:

[Point Preservation]

Ooh. Simon liked. Having a floating screen in front of him was pretty cool. He wasn’t sure how to feel about the point distribution, but maybe he just didn’t know enough yet!

The princess cleared her throat. “When I call your name, please come up here to get your stats scanned.” She continued to list dozens of Simon’s classmates. To his dismay, Arthur went directly before him.

“Wha-what is this?!” The princess cried. “Above twenty in each stat?! The average is ten!”

The average is ten?

“Furthermore, you have the [Hero] skill, which allows complete mastery over the light element?!”

Hmm, but I’m sure mine will be even better!

“Not only that, but your level cap is off the charts!”

Arthur frowned. “Level cap?” He asked.

“Every person is born with an innate limit to their power. The average person’s cap is about 200-300, but yours is in the millions! There’s nearly no limit to your power!”

Silently praying that [Point Preservation] was a cheat skill, Simon stepped up to touch the ball.

Unlike when the others had touched it, there was no bright shine. Instead there was a dim glow, and the princess stared mutely at it.

“Well?” He prompted. “What about it?”

“This is impossible. Your stats are ridiculously low except your intelligence. How do you even get a two in willpower? And your level cap is…”

“It is?”

“Two.”

“200? 2000?”

“No, just two. You can only level up one fucking time.”

A silence descended in the room. No one else had failed so spectacularly.

“But surely my skill-“

“Your skill is a useless one that makes it so your stats can’t get stolen. It’s useless if you don’t have any stats to steal.”

Silence.

Oh fuuuuuuuuuu