God is compassionate.
God is just.
God watches over us at all times. And through love and benevolence…
… valour and righteousness, we pave the way to an eternal Eden. To each, our own path…
… To each, our own wish to reach the promised land. And only in reverence to Him shall our efforts clear the one, true Path…
… for there is but one, true Word.
Once, I believed this with all my heart. That one need only stay faithful to His teachings to better the herd, and allow the splendour of our efforts draw every other lost lamb.
However, that all changed on that fateful night. My faith was shaken. My eyes opened. My entire life changed because of…
… him.
… her.
----------------------------------------
Six years ago, my father and I were invited to a party held by another of the Great Saintlines. Although it was for one night, our stay persisted for a month and a half as my father attended other obligations. In that time, I would disguise myself as a visiting cleric and volunteer at a small church. While it allowed me to evade the curious noblemen who came looking since the ball, I also felt a profound sense of fulfilment. My father had never involved me in statecraft, and back home, our mansion rested outside the city walls. Every morning, I would help feed the city’s homeless, and every evening, I will preach to the resident orphans. I will forever cherish those peaceful days, moonlighting as an ordinary follower, although my entire stay will eventually be coloured by a very unexpected event.
One day, as I was navigating the city’s alleys, I happened upon a collapsed man. He looked half a century old with long, unkempt hair and a black eyepatch over his left eye. One could mistake him for a common drunkard, except he was bleeding heavily from his abdomen. Without hesitation, I closed his wound and brought him straight to the church. The head priest was all too happy to shelter him, and for the following fortnight, he stayed in the back room. I checked up on him every day without fail. However, for the first week or so, he would always respond in the same manner.
“Hmph, you again?”
“Good day, Mr Turner. I’m here with your meal and change of clothes.”
“Just leave it there then get out. I need to rest.”
“Please don’t be like that, Mr Turner. The father has told me you still haven’t stepped outside after all this time. Are you sure you wouldn’t like some conversation to help pass the time?”
“Hah! I won’t fall for your flimsy proselytising, young lass. Now get out before I decide to crawl my way out of here.”
He was stubborn and ungracious, but looking back, I realise now he was simply anxious. Despite his demeanour, I pressed on, sometimes asking, sometimes sitting quietly by his side while peeling an apple. He grew quieter with every visit, until one day…
“… Why do you keep coming to see me? Do you feel responsible after saving my pathetic hide?”
“It’s because I want to help you, Mr Turner. You still need regular care.”
“Hmph, don’t look down on this old man. I ain’t as soft as a slime.”
“That’s not what I meant. While I admit I would like to see your recovery through… I can tell. That you have wounds beyond your injuries. As one on the Path, I can’t simply turn a blind eye.”
“The father seems to be doing a good job, and even if I had a problem, I wouldn’t share it with the likes of you.”
“That is fine. I won’t force your breath, but at the very least, I sincerely hope your time here will be a soothing one, and not of isolation. Even if I cannot help, I pray you will find the strength to prevail.”
“You’re a weird one, miss. Most clerics would thrust the Word in my face and tell me to miraculously find salvation there.”
“I can do so right now, if you would like?”
“*Chuckle* Just leave me be for today.”
It was the first time he had laughed, and over the coming week, he would occasionally venture from his room and wander about the church. Later, he would mingle with the city’s vulnerable and tell stories to the children. Although he never changed his gruff demeanour, he was undoubtedly more relaxed and I felt reassured by the fact.
… I wonder where he would be if he had left sooner. I wonder what would happen if I never peered beneath his bed, wondering about an unpleasant smell. While regretful, I could not have foreseen what would transpire when I decided to wash his bloodstained cloak. At the time, I did not recognise the foreign runes embedded in its seams, but he did, and I just so happened to reacquaint with him four days prior. In the end, that incident was fated to be.
“Huh? Liliana, is that you?”
----------------------------------------
I wonder what came over me that day. It began like any other, with a prayer before dawn and training for the morning. Yet in the end, our paths crossed before veering in completely directions. I suppose our fates remained entwined since that night at the ball, your horrified expression fresh in my mind. However, it took God’s intervention on that fateful day for me to realise the true meaning of our encounter. And it all began because of a simple observation in the study.
“By the way Agnes, are you wearing your coming-of-age bracelet?”
“… Pardon, prior?”
“Ah, my apologies. Was I mistaken?”
“No, you’re not, brother. Today is the anniversary of when I left my hometown. I suppose it’s more of a parting gift considering I was only eight at the time.”
“I see. How nice.”
“… Brother Maximillian, is something the matter? You rarely initiate such menial dialogue.”
“It’s nothing. Has the latest report arrived from Brother Moore and the others?”
“Indeed, and regrettably, it is unchanged from the last. They have nothing more to report.”
“I see. Then the operation is a failure.”
“I do not agree with that assessment, brother. All reports of disappearing women and children have since ceased, and 99 percent of our objectives are complete. By any metric, that is an outstanding result.”
“It depends on that remaining percent.”
“I understand your misgivings all too well, but we are one priory. We will smite evil where it is seen, but for now, it is not. The other knights will deal with it. At the very most, I would take this experience as an early lesson on my path as prior, if I were you.”
“I… suppose.”
“… Something else is on your mind, isn’t it?”
“…”
“No, don’t tell me… you’re still thinking about the ball?”
“No, I-”
“*Sigh* Focus yourself, brother. It’s one thing that you tarnished our public image with your embarrassing attempt at courtship, it's another to allow it to directly affect your work. Go walk around the city and clear your head.”
“You do remember I’m your prior, yes? Nevertheless, I will take up your recommendation, Sister Gregoria.”
----------------------------------------
“So, it really was about her after all.”
Wearing plain clothes with a cloth wrapped over my silver hair, I wandered about the city with no particular bearing. Nonetheless, I found myself walking past the Ascleson residence. I could not forget her aghast expression. On that night, I told her of my exploits with seeming zeal when in truth I was just desperate to find something to say. “She must think I’m a bloodthirsty murderer,” I thought, and as much as I wanted to explain, I did not have the heart to face her. So, I continued my aimless walk. However, fate had a different idea.
“Huh? L-Liliana, is that you?”
Without my knowing, my legs had carried me to a holy domain, and off to the side was Lili, carrying a basket of bread. At first, I thought I was imagining her likeness, but her equally shocked expression and haste to pull up her hood undid all doubt. We gawked at each other for what felt like a minute, and in my silent panic, I recalled something from a play I attended out of obligation. Thus, I stammered.
“T-today is a beautiful day. O-of course, not as beautiful as you.”
“…”
“Y-you are even more stunning under the sunlight. Truly, you are, erm, l-like a golden flower? N-no, a golden lily, or-”
“… Pfft! *Giggle*.”
“L-Liliana?”
“Do you truly speak like that to every lady? I had thought you vain at first, but now I understand that you are simply awkward, Sir Iudico.”
“I… I guess so, Lady Ascleson.”
“Please, call me Sister Lili.”
“I see. In that case, call me Max. A-anyway, I must confess I did not expect to see you here, especially for a lady of your standing.”
“O-one must be diligent in their service to God. And you?”
“Oh, I-I was… looking for a place to attend mass. Yes.”
“For a knight of your standing? Why not the cathedral?”
“Honestly, if I were to visit the cathedral as I am, there would be plenty of… disquiet.”
“I see. I certainly empathise with that sentiment.”
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“But for entirely different reasons, I’m sure. Honestly, I’m surprised nobody else here can see you for the high-class lady you are.”
“I suppose… Would you like to join us for lunch?”
“N-no, I’ve already kept my lieutenant waiting. However… will you be here tomorrow?”
“Indeed. Can you promise not to tell anyone else?”
“I swear to our Lord, so please, do the same for me.”
And so, over the next three days, I would take time to leave the barracks and visit Lili at the small church. Although aware of my feelings, and being openly irritated by it, she always welcomed me nonetheless. Our talks were brief, but seeing her reach out to the vulnerable was more than enough reason for me. She was more graceful and pure than I could ever imagine.
Ah, even now I think you are incredible, Lili. Despite leaving such a bad first impression twice over, you did not let it colour your perception of me… which made what came after all the more depressing.
On the fourth day, we crossed paths while I was en route and while you were carrying a bucket from the nearby well. Naturally, I called out.
“Ah, good day, my ever-resplendent flower. How fortuitous for us to cross paths so early. Truly we share a common fate.”
“*Sigh* Good day, Brother Max. Although your mannerisms were amusingly hopeless at first, I now find your words simply hopeless. Actually, are you not getting worse?”
“On the contrary Lili, I tried talking to more women like you suggested, and for the most part, I believe it’s rather well received.”
“Well, given your appearance, I can imagine why a young maiden would swoon. Rather, aren’t you using your inherent features to compensate for your lacking dialogue?”
“Y-you know Lili, you’re starting to sound like Agnes. But I suppose that proves your sincerity, and I appreciate it. Here, let me carry that bucket for you.”
“I thank you, Max. You know, you could speak more of your interests instead of thinking up shallow analogies.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t know what to say.”
“Then what of your spearmanship? Even before we met, I had heard rumour of how you could pierce a dragon’s hide or deflect an entire volley of archers.”
“… I hold no particular attachment toward the mastery of my weapon. It is but a means to an end for my sacred duty.”
“…”
“Ah, I-I’m sorry, Lili. I know you despise what I do but…”
I know nothing else, I had thought. It was at that moment I began to sense what truly separated me from Lili. And yet still, she…
“I do not despise you, brother.”
“Huh?”
“I-I think my first impression of you was unfair, and I apologise. Although it was appalling to hear how you supposedly cut down hundreds of men, I now know that you do not take pride in the number of lives you’ve taken, but in how you were doing God’s work. I may never understand, but we are all followers of the Word, and in our own ways, we are all working towards an Eden for all.”
“… Thank you, Lili. Indeed, we walk different paths, and I know that you will eventually lead the Ascleson territory to greater prosperity. A great realm that will draw thousands from across Garea. A place where any pure soul can live together in harmony.”
“Again, you’re resorting to flattery, brother.”
“But I’m not. If it’s you, I’m sure you will one day govern the steps of Eden.”
“Maximillian…”
“We’re here, Lili.”
“… I’ll go fetch the laundry. May you bring the water to the back?”
“Of course.”
I wonder... Do I regret not telling her sooner? Do I regret not convincing her before the incident occurred? No, it was necessary, and as God’s steel made manifest, everything was as He willed it. The instant I saw Lili bring out that foul robe was the moment everything became set in stone.
“… Lili, does that robe belong to a man?”
“Is something the matter Max, or are you feeling a hint of jealousy?”
“That is no ordinary tear, or cloth. It looks as if he was pierced”
“Oh, please don’t worry, brother. This belongs to someone we found injured on the streets about a fortnight ago, but he has largely recovered. Sadly, even under the domain of the Great Saintlines such crimes can still occur.”
“Indeed… I’m sorry, Lili. I must depart for work. I recommend you don’t stay here too late.”
“*Giggle* I appreciate your concern, Max. I’ll be careful tonight.”
“I pray for you, Lili. With all my heart.”
----------------------------------------
Knock, Knock.
“Mr Turner, I’ve come with your medicine.”
“Pipe down! I’m not deaf, you know! Just leave it there as usual.”
“Excuse me then.”
It was four hours past noon. I had just taught the children some basic arithmetic and fetched the robe from the clothesline. It was barely dry, but I wanted to patch the tear and surprise Mr Turner before he noticed it was gone. Of course, I was expecting him to complain, but I believed he would be thankful nonetheless. However, to my own dismay, the reaction I elicited was of equal parts dread and concern.
“Y-you…”
“I-I’m sorry for taking it without asking, Mr Turner. I was only meaning-”
“Burn it and forget you ever saw it! Damn it, I should have disposed of it sooner.”
“Why? Do you hold no attachment to this robe?”
“Lass, y-you… Did you think nothing else of it? Of who I may be?”
“While I’m intrigued by these strange symbols and how it came into your possession, it is not my place to ask. I’ve said it before, but I will not compel you to tell me your past.”
“So you know that much… *Sigh* Lili, you truly are a fool. Anyone else would have thought to check. After all this time, you refuse to believe I am anything else than an injured old man. Did it not occur that I might be less than honourable?”
“You have never given me reason to believe you will harm us, and neither have we done anything to you. I can tell, Mr Turner, that you still have a heart that can care for others, and that’s all that matters.”
“Is that so.”
At that moment, Mr Turner reached for his eyepatch and revealed what lay beneath: a light-blue eye, whereas his right is a dark brown.
“… You’re not going to say I’m possessed?”
“No. Of course not.”
“*Sigh* I figured as much. I was born with these eyes, Lili, and my childhood was miserable because of it. I was called monster, demon-spawn, and my folks also suffered for it. Still, if it were just words and rocks, I would have been fine. I wouldn’t have turned out the way I am… but then the Word came to my village.”
“Huh?”
“No, to be more accurate, the Word was coming, in the form of a fancy new church and plenty of money. However, the village elder couldn’t risk rumours of a demon-spawn unravelling the project… so they burnt down our home and drove us out. Even my tolerant father came to curse my existence.”
“Oh my God, that’s horrible.”
“Not for everybody else. They became a prosperous town, and to this day, everyone one of those arsonists are living full lives. Can you guess where they decided to build that holy building? It’s been almost forty years, and yet I still find it repulsive… and I more so to them. I guess if you leave all the undesirables to rot, eventually “everybody” will be in paradise.”
“No, you’re wrong! That’s not the way of the Path, Mr Turner. Eden has no walls and welcomes all paths of life. That is the future I believe in, and I and everyone else of the Word shall not stand for anything less. If the church had known, I’m sure we would have accommodated your family.”
“You are far too naïve. You think I should have gone back to that wretched town and hoped for the best? You think those dastards would suddenly accept us if the Church wills it? Hmph! Utterly preposterous. If that were true, none of your usual patrons would be sleeping on the streets.”
“I-I see.”
“… Still, I wonder why? You’re so unaware of the world, and yet I feel like entertaining your stupidity. After all these years of acting on malice and frustration, the shelter I found, my efforts dedicated to keeping it… gone. I have nothing left, and yet, I don’t think I’ll miss it. Maybe I’m too old and too tired to care, but now that I look back...”
“Mr Turner?”
“If only… If only somebody like you had reached out to me sooner… But now-”
At that moment, I clasped his hand between my palms, and without a single word, he understood. I will never forget the tears in his eyes, or in mine. While I was oblivious to his past, I knew with all heart that I had turned him onto the right path.
“… I’ll tell you, Lili. About everything. Could… Could you come here tonight and hear this old man out?”
“Of course, Mr Turner. I swear to Him.”
And without my knowing, I sealed his fate.
That night, I snuck out of my estate and returned to the church… only to find holy knights setting a perimeter around the building. I was shocked, but deep down, I already discerned everything. Without bothering to inquire, I snuck past the knights through the back, all whilst praying that I still had time to reach them.
Alas, all I managed to find were the father and children huddled by the wall, and Mr Turner on his knees with open hands… and a spear impaled through his heart. I don’t remember his final expression, but in my darkest dreams, I always imagine a shocked look of betrayal. However, what I do remember vividly is Maximillian lording over his body in silver armour. And with a look devoid of any emotion, he turned to me as I felt weak in my legs.
“M-Max… Why?”
“Liliana… this man is a cultist. A surviving member of a cult I recently crushed.”
“A-a… cultist?”
“Yes, Liliana. A cultist. God has found him guilty of partaking in the most heinous of sins, and as penance, He has sentenced him to death. May his next life be a more benevolent one.”
“N-no… that isn’t true, brother! Regardless of his crimes, I spoke with Mr Turner and he still had humanity! H-he even asked me to hear his sins.”
“He was lying to you, Liliana. Moreover, he’s not just a cultist but a Dark Acolyte, a senior member of a cult’s inner circle. Given another month, once disparate heretical elements would congregate under his accursed title and raise him to hierarch.”
“No, you’re wrong, Max! He was committed to changing himself for the better. Under the guidance of the Word, he could have been teaching children or supporting the vulnerable as a new man, b-but now…
“That is irrelevant.”
“H-huh?”
“Sister, God sees the world through me. The only reason I executed him was not because of my own judgement, but because God willed it. And if it is His will… then redemption was never an option.”
“T-that reasoning… That is not the way of the Path, brother! We are shepherds, not hunters, and any stray flock can be-”
“In neglect, the undergrowth shall encroach on your Path. What is road and what are stones amongst the green? Such is no Path to Eden, nor to Him. Be diligent… and reap the tangled sprigs.”
Those were the last words I remember him exchanging. Indeed, they were from the one Word and even my mother of the old ways once preached the same phrase. Nevertheless, the interpretations couldn’t be more different. It was one thing if Maximillian slew him in haste, but what truly unsettled me was his confessed ruthlessness, and the way he passed his pale eyes over the other residents… All ingrained in him by the Path itself. Although time has separated the human and elven teachings, even now I cannot fathom how an entire branch of the Church could walk such a path.
I never attended Mr Turner’s funeral. Rather, I prayed one was held at all. In the wake of the incident, I was whisked by my father back to our territory to avoid scrutiny. I kept in touch with the head priest, who informed me of subsequent events. According to his letters, the holy knights rounded the surrounding homeless and took them in for questioning. The orphans who listened to Mr Turner’s stories were relocated to another church for more pious education. Thankfully, the church’s followers were spared, and everybody who was detained was eventually released. However, two years after incident, I returned to the church… and found the domain far quieter than when I first opened its door.
On that day, I prayed for Mr Turner’s soul… and left as Lili.
----------------------------------------
“By the heavens, why did I have to remember that?”
It is an hour from midnight, and I’m still drawing plans for the assault on the New Dawn cult. Although I do not feel a shred of fatigue, I find my concentration slipping for seconds at a time. More vexing, I keep thinking back to that incident, or rather, Lili’s horrified expression at that moment. Her sorrow, her despair, her conviction and her revulsion, all combined in a single look and yet all directed at different subjects. For a while, I kept seeing her face in others, particularly those we were supposed to save. Why am I recalling now? Is it some sign?
“Or maybe I just need a break,” I say as I take my spear.
Under the pretence of an impromptu patrol, I wander about the tents and greet the few guards along the way. The moonlight does little to ease me, and eventually I find myself sitting alone at the centre of the camp. My melancholy grows and with nothing else in hand I begin practicing my spearmanship. Every swing was another stroke on the whetstone, and I could feel my mind become clearer and clearer. However, in the flashes of polished steel, I notice a familiar figure.
“Lili?”
I quickly snap around, and for a fleeting instant, I spy a shadow walk behind a distant tent. I dash to the spot in a second, however, upon turning the corner…
“What?”
Nothing. Did I imagine her likeness? No, even if it wasn’t Lili, there was definitely someone here.
“
Launching myself seventy feet into the air, I quickly survey the entire area beneath me. My eyes lock onto every shadow and hint of movement, but again…
“Nothing.”
“Prior! There you are.”
“Agnes.”
“I saw you take to the air. Did you apprehend the suspect?”
“No, I was too slow. They managed to evade me as well.”
“Then did you see them?”
“… I was unable to get a good look.”
“How unfortunate. Still, if they can evade even you, they must have used teleportation magic. It’s possible they’ve already left the perimeter.”
“If they did, then I’m amazed they managed to hide all traces of magic. It’s more likely they slipped into one of the tents, but without knowing their true form, we cannot pursue. For now, ask two of our brothers to investigate this area. It may be too late, but perhaps they left a clue to their identity.”
“Understood. Nevertheless, although you say you were slow, I must admit I’m impressed you moved as soon as you did.”
“Pardon?”
“Was I mistaken? Were you not investigating the intrusion at the central tent?”
“No, this is the first I’ve heard. Debrief me, lieutenant.”
“Yes, prior. Several minutes ago, despite the presence of two guards, there was an intruder at the central tent. They triggered the alarm when they interacted with one of our evidence chests. Namely, the chest containing the communication orb recovered from Tiel Plains. They failed to undo the enchanted lock or remove the affixation spell, which triggered the alarm.”
“… Nothing else was disturbed?”
“No, brother.”
“Where is Enbos?”
“According to his collar, he is in his tent and has been for the entire night. Our brothers also confirmed his companions did not leave their tents either.”
“I see. Nonetheless, it’s hard to believe it could be anybody but one of his associates. The cultists have no knowledge nor reason to take the orb.”
“Perhaps, but it could have also been the work of some unscrupulous adventurer, looking to steal the chest of fablars you showed off.”
“I won’t deny the possibility. I’ll increase our patrols tomorrow night, but for now, get some rest. The New Dawn cult’s reckoning is nigh.”
“Understood, prior.”
“By the way, Nessa. I just noticed but… is that your commemorative bracelet?”
Nessa doesn’t respond. Instead, she approaches me with a deadpan face before placing her hand over my head and casting
“I’m sorry brother, but curing your addled mind is beyond my abilities. Might I recommend you retire after this expedition?”
“You’re still at it with the prior jokes!?”
“I’m only ever as serious as you are. Last time you asked that question, you become absentminded for days on end, and soon after you took the priory on this grand revolution.”
“I-I don’t remember it being that bad. Besides-”
“Were you reminiscing about Lady Ascleson?”
“Errr…”
“*Sigh* You never change, Maximillian.”
“… No Agnes, I think we all have. Carry on, sister.”
I see Nessa off and wait patiently for her to leave my line of sight. I continue to loiter, and as expected, not a single soul enters my field of view. Nonetheless…
“To this day, you are still the most radiant, caring and hopeful soul I have ever met. I wished so dearly for our paths to align, for me to be a part of your beautiful world. By reaching for you, I rediscovered my heart and rekindled the fervour of my brethren, and for that, I am eternally grateful. You… were the only person to ever make me dream of another life.”
“…”
“I disappoint you, and yet, I know you’d still welcome me if I were to accept your ways in earnest. That’s what makes you so resplendent.
But I can’t. If I turn away from the priory now, I would be renouncing my God-given role as a shepherd to become one of your flock. All the lives I have saved, all that I dedicated to Him, all that my brothers, both past and present, have entrusted to me… would mean all the less. I cannot follow you. I mustn’t follow you. We may never walk side-by-side… but I know that one day the stones we lay will converge. That’s why I’ll keep to my convictions, just as you.”
“…”
“Thank you, my moonlit daffodil… and farewell.”