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Is it Reincarnation if I'm Still Dead?
Arc 3, Chapter 108: Rolled Bones

Arc 3, Chapter 108: Rolled Bones

Before dawn, Maximillian mobilized the closest branch on the Church’s network to scout the suspected area. By noon, he received the news he had been dying to hear. My deductions were proven correct; there was a hidden settlement at the base of Rever Point, with an undisclosed life fall and several convoys of disguised cultists en route to the location. The expedition immediately departed, but even with Maximillian acting like a wannabe taskmaster, we were still two days away. Two days to structure our forces and plan our assault. Two days to hone my skills and prepare everything I have.

Although I’ve fulfilled my obligations, my ability to actively track the core may prove necessary. I’m sure Maximillian would rather have me on a short leash, but he recognises my strength and cannot afford to backbench anybody in the coming conflict. As such…

! !”

I’m practising my swordplay late into the night in the company of myself. I’ve moved the table to the edge of the tent and trapped myself in a to muffle all my actions. With my breastplate strapped to my chest, I’ve already acclimatised to its weight and my new sense of momentum. Again and again, I swing at the imaginary opponent in my mind’s eye… although honestly, I’m just fantasising about carving up Tascus in a thousand ways.

Name Enbos Race Undead Class Dark Acolyte Level 10 HP 178/178 MP 162/162

Base Modifiers Total Max HP 178 178 Max MP 162 162 Attack 46 +20 66 Defence 33 +25 58 Magic 134 134 Resilience 64 +2 66 Agility 67 -4 63 Integrity 368 368

Unique Skills Ruler of One | Equip Soul Innate Skills Dark Vision (High) | Create Status (High) | Soul Core (Greater) | Soul Eater (Greater) | Enhance Mind (High) | Parallel Thought (High) | Magic Perception (High) | Horrify (High) | Spectral Sense (High) | Decay (Greater) Extra Skills Heavy Strike (Greater) | Great Throw (Greater) | Shadow Step (High) | Project Voice (High) | Sneak (Greater) | Analyse Soul (High) | Reveal Magic (Basic) | Precise Memory (Greater) | Burrowing Strike (Basic) | Fortify (Basic) Magic Skills Fireball (Greater) | Lightning (Greater) | Storm Cloak (Greater) | Conjure Flame (Greater) | Reanimate Dead (Greater) | Conjure Water (High) | Command Water (High) | Shadow Stake (Basic) | Spell Shield (Greater) | Perception Link (Greater) | Command Undead (Greater) | Dark Cloak (Greater) | Shadow Spear (Greater) | Control Oxygen (Greater) | Kinetic Barrier (Greater) | Oxy Fuel (Greater) | Gravity Field (Greater) | Reconnect Spirit Arts Life Tap (Greater) | Rising Dragon Fist (Basic) | Phantom Edge (Greater) Custom Skills Control Oxygen (Greater) | Kinetic Barrier (Greater) | Oxy Fuel (Greater) | Gravity Field (Greater) | Reconnect Soul (Greater) | Phantom Edge (Greater) Stored Skills [Winter Troll] Pounce (Basic) | Enhanced Strength (Basic)

[Winged One] Enhanced Hearing (Basic) | Arcane Wings (Basic) | Shadow Orb (Greater) | Piercing Blow (Basic)

[Forest Drake] Wind Blast (Basic) | Wind Boost (Greater) | Rending Claw (Greater) | Diving Strike (Greater)

[Mellivorath] Burrowing Strike (High) | Command Soil (High) | Enhanced Defence (Greater) | Crushing Jaw (Greater) | Earth Fall (High)

[Cultists (consolidated)] Shadow Step (Greater) | Quick Step (Basic) | High Jump (Greater) | Piercing Blow (Greater)

[Cultist A] Flying Blade Dance (Greater) | Great Throw (Greater) | Shadow Bind (Greater)

[Cultist B] Enhanced Sight (Greater) | Assassin's Mark (Greater) | Snipe (Greater)

[Cultist C] Quick Step (Greater) | Heavy Strike (Greater) | Afterimage (Greater) Skill Points 70 out of 1020

Affinities Spirit | Dark Resistances Nullify Manipulation | Nullify Mental Impairment | Nullify Pain | Nullify Metabolism | Nullify Fatigue | Nullify Ailment | Temperature Resistance | Decay Resistance | High Dark Resistance | Spirit Resistance | Fire Resistance Weaknesses Holy Weakness | Blunt Weakness Titles Worldfarer | Hunter | Adept Mage | Spellcrafter | Suspicious Being | Fearsome One | Lord of the Pub | Hero of Kasseus | Scourge of Cultists | Mass Murderer Blessings Maleosis' Pact of Power (460 Skill Points reserved) Equipment Bloodletter (Cursed) | Deer Mask | Cloak of Self Repair | Rakertus Gloves | Standard Clothing | Staff of Enbos | Underground Guild Ring | Travelling Pack | Waterskin Stomach Items Necronomicon (Original) | Necronomicon (Alan) | Necronomicon (Terry) | Lili's Spellbook | Takashi's Notebook | Envelope | Certificate | Lock of Hair | Handkerchief | Province Permit | Memento of Yuki | Adventurer Crest | Sincerity Contract | Novuseus Emblem (fake) | Letter of Approval | Wood Carving Set | Death Row Collar | Novel (The Bondoc Murderer) Currency [Reinsol] 24 Penz | 10 Fablars

It’s no use. Even with my expanded repertoire, I can’t think of a way to match Tascus without relying on my hateful blessing. All it would take is one punch, one tap of his mana-infused finger, to push me to the brink of oblivion, and that's assuming he hasn't fused with the core. God, I hope he hasn't 'ascended' yet, otherwise it really will be impossible. Instead of swinging my sword, it would be far more productive if I practise my magic or test my handmade staff, but now is hardly the time or place. Well, even if I could, it would be impossible to develop a master-rank skill on such short notice. I have an idea for a composite spell using and , but I simply don’t have the magic stat to pull it off. At this point, I’ll have to hope for a class change if I ever want to stand a chance against…

“Really, why am I assuming I will have to fight that monster again?”

Maximillian and his knights already have him marked. They’re experts in dealing with fiends like him so there shouldn’t be a need for me to step in. Heck, even if I offer my help, he would most certainly shoot me down. Am I worried something will go awry?

No, I’m almost hoping it will.

The core is close. So very, very close. If Tascus falls to Maximillian’s blade, I will have to put all my hopes in Lili to reappropriate the core. But if the knights get blindsided during the assault… should I take it? Would I seize the core for myself? I don’t want to break my word, but if I were holding the core in my very hand… I-I don’t know if I will have the resolve to return it to the Church’s custody again.

… unless, of course, there is nobody to return it to. Best-case scenario would be the Holy Knights get wiped out first, but not before leaving a gravely wounded hierarch for me to…

“*Sigh* What the hell am I thinking?”

(You know Enbos, I would very much like to know myself.)

Barely picking up her voice, I turn to find Lili and Hachirou watching me from the other side of my barrier. They’re both dressed differently from their usual attire, although Hachirou is still wearing his canine mask. For a moment, their eyes seem to hover over my armour and repaired mask before breaking into warm smiles. I can feel my anxiety fade away as I rescind my spell and welcome the pair.

“I was wondering when you two might visit. It’s good to see you, Lili, Hachirou.”

“Likewise, Enbos.”

“I’m truly glad we could reunite once again. Given Mister Iudico’s suspicions, I-I had begun to fear the worst.”

“Indeed. We’ve been worried about you since Maximillian took you away for another session. Thank the heavens you seem to be doing well.”

“It was pretty hairy. Maximilian found Mr Kell’s communication orb which had a recording of my conversation with Tascus. It was implicating but not damning. Long story short, my amnesty is riding on the success of this mission.”

“I-is that so?” says Lili.

“Yeah. By the way, what happened to the guard?”

“I’m the guard now.”

“*Chuckle* In that case, Private Iranor, let me fetch a few seats. I’ve already established a perimeter and taken care of Maximillian’s bugs, so it should be safe to talk for a while.”

I depart to fetch my chair and bedroll to fold into a makeshift cushion. However, as I return, I can’t help but notice their rather solemn mood. It’s like they’re reluctant to tell me some piece of bad news.

“Here you go, you two. Don’t worry about me. I can just kneel. It’s not like I’ll get tired from it.”

This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

“Thank you, Enbos.”

“So, how have you two been? Did Maximillian do anything?”

“N-no Enbos, nothing of the sort occurred. He only confined us to a furnished room with a guard at all hours. I think there was magic involved as well, but Lili’s abilities proved to be superior.”

“I won’t deny that. It’s ridiculous how broken your magic is, even so far as hiding Hachirou in plain sight,” I say toward Lili. “That being said, what do you plan on doing now? I guess once this blows over, we can rendezvous in another town and-”

“I cannot.”

“… Lili?”

“No. Before that, we have a more pressing issue. Enbos, could you tell me of your bargain with Maximillian?”

“I made a deal to find the location of the core, and in return, he’ll drop all charges. I’ve got it in print if you’d like.”

“I understand you’ve entered a contract of cooperation, but I’m astounded he hasn’t prepared more to bind you. Are you certain he hasn’t done anything else?”

“Well, he was holding “my apprentice” hostage, but now that you are here, that is no longer a concern,” I say to Lili then to Hachirou. “Aside from that, he also got me to wear a magical collar around my neck.”

“A-a collar?”

“Yeah. Supposedly, if I try to unfasten it or fail to report to him before an unspecified date, it will detonate with enough force to vaporize an undine.”

“N-no!”

“Oh my God, that’s horrible! How could he… huh?”

After their initial bout of collective shock, their expressions slowly shift to one of straight-faced clarity. Meanwhile, I’m twirling a metal hoop in my hand, with the catch still intact.

“So, Maximillian has nothing on you?” asks Lili.

“Nope.”

“Y-you could leave right now if you wanted?” stammers Hachirou.

“Yep.”

“You’re here completely of your own volition?” follows Lili.

“Always have been.”

“I see… then, it’s not too late.”

“I’ve been discussing with Lili over the past few days a-and we’ve come to implore something of you.”

“Yes?”

“Enbos, with all our hearts we beg of you. For your own sake…”

“… please abandon all designs for the core and leave the camp with us.”

I fall silent as I look at their determined faces. Needless to say, I’m more shocked than swayed by their sudden request.

“The cultists have been found and our forces have rallied. There is no longer a reason for you to participate in the coming battle.”

“Hachirou is right. The operation is far too dangerous, and quite honestly, for all your strength it will matter little to Maximillian’s endeavours. Believe me, the priory is more than equipped to deal with even a villain like Tascus.”

“Still, I can’t just up and leave in the middle of the expedition, especially when our companions are involved. I need to clear my name and see the core recovered. It’s a longshot and Maximillian will probably blacklist my name for a hundred years, but I’m willing to go that far for that small hope.”

“No, you don’t understand, Enbos,” rebuts Lili. “Maximillian will not clear anything. He will do everything in his power to see you put to death. Although the New Dawn cult is his current priority, he will not overlook you once he is done.”

“We will convince Sen, Minna and Norf to join us as well. I’m sure they will understand if we explain, but it all depends on your decision.”

“Still, I don’t see why you are all so worried. Maximillian can’t try me unless he uncovers something serious. Even the “evidence” he has against me is up for interpretation, and with your family’s support-”

“I can no longer offer it.”

“…”

“Maximillian, he… he sent a letter to my father. And as per his recommendation… all my privileges have been suspended for the sake of my “safety”. I-I can no longer act as your guardian. I can no longer sponsor your endeavours. And…”

“… you can no longer travel as Lili the Adventurer, for your father has formally outed you.”

“Yes.”

“Damn it, that son of a troll! I can’t believe he would do that to you and-”

“P-please Enbos, this isn’t about me. I’m telling you this because I want you to know how uncompromising Maximillian truly is.”

Or so she says, but weakness in her voice and the pain in her eyes betray her actual feelings. Her dream of exploring the world, discovering hidden races and preaching the compassionate side of the Word are now in peril, and it’s all because Maximillian is trying to corner… me.

“Iudico… is not a malevolent man, but he sees the world in black and white and lives only to purge the former. I know the face he wears whenever he watches you unawares. It’s the same face as when he speaks of Tascus, and the same face as six years prior. He has already deemed you to be Enbos the “Black”, and he will stop at nothing until his justice is meted out.”

“So you’re saying that if I go through with this, not only will I not get to research the core, he will cut me down on another flimsy charge?”

“Yes. Rather, he will likely convict you then impede your defence until he gathers indisputable “proof”. For better or worse, he has become conscious of his public image over the past six years. H-however, if he finds anything that lends even a shred of more credence to his suspicion… he will kill you on the spot.”

“I see…”

So that’s why she is so desperate to save me. In her eyes, the path I’m on is just a one-way trip to the gallows… but honestly, deep down I already knew what Iudico was scheming, which is why I was seriously considering a snatch and run. Still, is that really the only reason? While I admit I’m still eager for an opportunity to claim the core for myself…

“I’m sorry, you two. I have to see this journey through.”

“Why?”

“Because Lili, there is more at stake than just the core. Even if you manage to convince the others, I would still have a reason to go. Let me be perfectly clear: I’m not doing this because I want to protect the world from an undead Tascus. I just want to know what the world has in store for an undead me.”

“What do you- My God. Don’t tell me… You’re planning on facing Tascus again, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know, Lili.”

“Y-you’re not even denying the possibility. Please Enbos, I’m telling you now that your life is not worth this gamble! The core is all but lost and you will learn nothing of yourself in that den of inhumanity. Listen, even without my house, I can still arrange something to fund your research. You just need to come with us a-and-”

“I-it’s no use, Lili. He has made up his mind,” interrupts Hachirou. We both look to him in shock, neither expecting his abrupt reversal.

“Hachirou?”

“W-while I also wish for him to reconsider, he has already taken our concerns to heart. T-that… is all we can do.”

“Thank you Hachirou. Lili, I’ll disappear before the battle’s end and wait then for you in Uradale. From there, we can discuss what the three of us will do from then on. Will that be okay?”

“… Truly Enbos, I wish you weren’t like this. I really, really do.”

“I’m sorry, Lili.”

“No matter what you swear to me, you’ll push yourself to the very brink. I know it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Again and again, you risk your life for a “truth” you do not need. W-why Enbos… why can’t you just love yourself as everyone loves you?”

Without so much as a sound, tears begin flowing down Lili’s face. There is nothing more I can say. All I can do is watch her cry, each drop sincere and searing. Hachirou places a hand on her knee, to which she becomes conscious of her own weeping.

“Please excuse me. I… I need to step outside for a moment.”

Wracked with remorse, I almost call out to her as she departs the tent, eyes still red. For an instant, she looks over her shoulder only to nod cryptically towards Hachirou. He returns the gesture just as she leaves, before turning to me to stare intensely like an owl. I can’t tell whether he’s sad or annoyed beneath that wooden mask, but it’s obvious what he’s expecting. After a few agonising seconds, I finally break the silence.

“Hachirou, you and your father have always said that no life is a coincidence, and that the World Stream guides all souls with intent.”

“That is so. We have always said that all life is connected, past, present and future. However, you have always been a sceptic. Why are you mentioning this now?”

“On the night of the Primera Carro, when I gave chase to Tascus’ cultists, one of them recited a part of their prophecy. It spoke of a champion “bearing a soul with clear intent” that will bring about Maleosis’ return… and I think it might be me.”

“B-by the spirits.”

“I really hope I’m only being overly self-conscious, but Tascus seems convinced I have some part to play. That’s why he let me go at Tiel Plains, and why his men sacrificed an entire amphitheatre in an attempt to catch me. I doubt it’s the work of an evil god, but I can’t help but feel that once-disparate things are inexplicably falling into place. That something inevitable is fast approaching.

I hate it. I despise the fact that after all the world has taken from me, it would even try to take away my free will. Am I doomed to became an unparalleled monster? Is my love for Helena all just a scenario to set me on this path? I swear, if I ever got a hold of my “script”, I would tear it to shreds then tear off the damn hand that wrote it!

And yet… Helena. If the prophecy really exists, I will have Helena. My wish is mine and mine alone, but did I ever have a choice? If fate is allowing me to have these thoughts, or has the damage already been done? Or will a cruel, invisible hand shepherd- no, beat me back onto this thorny path? Tell me Hachirou… can I really call myself the “Ruler of One”?”

“I see. So this is what has truly been haunting you ever since Tiel Plains.”

“I-I’m sorry, Hachirou. I was unloading on you a bit. You don’t need to understand.”

“No, I’m relieved that you did. Moreover, I understand your concerns completely.”

“Huh?”

Hachirou doesn’t say anything immediately. He seems to be composing himself, and for a moment, I’m reminded of his former self. Seconds later, he looks back with a steady gaze.

“Enbos, back when we first met, I always thought our encounter had some greater meaning. I grew to believe you were the second coming of my dear departed brother. As you continued to reach out to me, I became convinced you were sent by fate to remind me of my irredeemable sin, and what little I can offer to this world will finally be fulfilled. B-by bringing you to my clan… I thought my life no longer had value.”

“…”

“Fortunately, I now think differently, but I don’t believe every aspect of our lives is preordained. After all, where I once saw you as fate’s handcrafted phantom of Hayate, I now see you are your own person. My father says all life is drawn to one another, and I believe certain souls are fated to encounter, fated to clash, fated to be trialled, b-but not for some higher purpose… but to help them find their place in the great cycle. I realise you have been disappointed in yourself and I haven’t been able to support you when it mattered most… but life is not defined by any singular moment. It is shaped by what we learn from those destined experiences, and I believe you have come far.”

“… Do you really think I’m changing for the better, Hachirou?”

“Umu. For one, I’m glad you listened to Lili and surrendered the core to Maximillian. It truly shows how much you value the newfound bonds you have forged.”

“I see…”

“M-moreover, if you hadn’t… you would have also lost me.”

“Eh?”

I immediately snap my head up in shock, but Hachirou casts his eyes down. Although masked, his deep disappointment is unmistakable.

“I see you overlooked the possibility,” says Hachirou in a disheartened tone. “Enbos, I swore I would support you every step of the way, to make sure you would never become the monster you fear you may be. However, I’m also doing this to discover myself, t-to become something more than I once was. If you had bound yourself to the Novuseus House, locked within a lab, I… I think I would have returned to the Nomura Clan. No, I would have even ventured on my own. This journey means much to me, Enbos, so please tell me… d-does this journey truly mean nothing more to you?”

Taken completely aback by Hachirou’s words, I walk over to the chair and slump against the rest. Looking up at the roof, I reflect on everything before this entire debacle. Back to my time with the clan. Back to the Dellmore Forest. Back to the moment I parted ways with Si…

“… I don’t know, Si. Helena was afraid I would ruin myself for her sake, so I won’t do that. I will live a wholesome life, befriend a lot of people and leave my mark on Garea. Once I revive Helena, I will take her around the world and let her experience my journey firsthand. You realised it too, right? She deserves to enjoy life just as much as me…”

“I had forgotten. It feels so, so long ago. I was supposed to live life in her stead. The life she was supposed to have. The adventure I was supposed to take her on… and I’m spending it preparing to kill for the sake of my desires. Heh, hard to believe the same person uttered those naïve words.”

“Have you changed your mind, Enbos?”

“… No. If anything, I now have more reason to press on and salvage what I can. My goals, my values, the mark I will leave upon this world, I need to come to terms with them all in this next battle. If I run away now then “Enbos” would have been nothing more an illusion.”

“I see. If you truly feel this coming battle is destined, t-then I won’t stop you. But please remember that no matter how terrible or true the Prophecy may be, it cannot create you. Only you can make yourself.”

“I’m still not sure, but I’ll take your word over an evil god’s any day. Thank you, Hachirou. I’m indebted to you in more ways than you know.”

“It’s fine, Enbos. We are nakama... S-speaking of which, there is something I must request.”

I return a quizzical look but Hachirou begins clearing the bedroll and chair from the centre of the tent. He takes off his mask and places it on the table before keeping five paces from me, assuming a stance with his sheathed katana. I note his controlled breathing and accelerated spiritual energy which have markedly improved. That said, the most striking thing are not his abilities but his clear, unwavering eyes. Just how much has he matured while I wasn’t looking? No… When was the last time I actually looked at him?

“Enbos, I have been devising a new technique and I wish to refine it. Will you spar with me, in earnest?”

“… You know Hachirou, this is the first time you have asked such a thing of me. I accept,” I say as I envelope our surrounding in another and face him straight on. “I’ll be in your care. Here I come.”

“Hai!”

!”

----------------------------------------

“An illusion he says.

… Is “Lili” the lie, or my ideal?”