Chapter 8

Nate slowly crumbled on her chair as the light in her eyes was snuffed out. No blood could be seen flowing out of the wound in her head and, when I pulled back Kael’s dagger, my hand still wrapped around his, no blood came out either.

On the dagger’s blade, tiny red drops were quickly disappearing, absorbed by the ominous black-red metal.

“Urgh…” Kael said weakly, but I didn’t react directly, I couldn’t.

I first took a deep breath, my hands shaking and my heart beating fast. It was the first time that I killed someone, not a monster, but a person, and if I readily did it under Nate’s own orders, and to save my brother, now that the dead body of our benefactor lay on the chair, devoid of life, I couldn’t help but be restless.

“Coff, coff!” Kael coughed violently as his hands tensed up on his weapons, bringing me back to here and now.

I quickly put him on his bed, using my pillows to help him sit, then took the food bowl and dragged a chair by his side. I tried not to think about the corpse at the table, still unsettling when I needed to focus.

“Here,” I said, moving a spoon to his mouth.

Weak as he was, he slightly nodded and took the food in.

For several tens of minutes afterward, I slowly fed him one spoon after the other, careful not to poison him with the mana, giving him time to swallow and absorb what I was giving him.

Honestly, I didn’t know if it was helpful or not, but I was so worried about seeing him in this state that I didn’t want to further stress him out.

By the end of it he looked better already. Some colors were coming back to his face, and his head wasn’t swaying left and right anymore.

“Thanks.” He said with a wry smile, and I looked at him with concern. “What’s on your mind?” I asked him.

“...I was a burden again…” He said in a whisper, and I clenched my fist.

“So what? Didn’t you hear a word that Nate said? This is not a competition, when you’re weak I’m here for you, and when I’m weak you’re here for me!” I said strongly, grabbing his shoulders and looking into his eyes.

“I-I know but I’ve never been here for you…” He said, dejected, looking away from me.

“What?! Do you remember when I didn’t eat for a week because I couldn’t learn Runes? Who taught me all night long, who helped me with that? You did!” I answered, trying to cheer him up.

“And when they tested our knowledge of adventuring? When they made us learn the base of magic? How to take care of beasts? It was you each time! Maybe I’m showier when I help you, but you’re always here for me too!” I added, then hugged him.

It took a second, but soon enough he hugged me back. I could feel my shoulder getting wet, he was crying.

“If you hadn’t been here, I would have given up long ago,” I said, tears swelling in my own eyes. “Please, stop demeaning yourself.” I started crying too.

The last few hours, days even, had been too full of twists and dramas, of emotions. We really needed to let off some steam.

***

I don’t know how long we cried in each other’s arms but, in the end, Kael literally fell asleep on my shoulder.

I gently tucked him away in his bed, putting a kiss on my dear brother’s forehead. After eating a bit more than half the bowl of food, and venting some emotions, he looked a lot better.

I felt better too, if only on the emotional plane. I was still fucking hungry.

In fact, as time passed, I was getting hungrier, and that was only the start of it.

I wanted to move, I wanted to run. I wanted to feel that rush of power again, when I cut down those Hobgoblins. I was bored out of my mind: as soon as Kael fell asleep, I felt boredom swallow me.

I was restless. I couldn’t cook, we had no ingredients or furniture, I couldn’t train, there was not enough space, I couldn’t play, there was no game, I couldn’t fight, there was no…

Suddenly, I struck my fist against one of the stone walls, which hurt pretty bad. The pain helped me snap out of that endless discontent mood and, once I was free of it, at least partially, I felt it.

A tug, like a string, a rope, a flood of… hunger.

I turned my eyes, following the tug and, at the end of it, I found Terrenacht.

The sword was currently placed against a wall. The massive blade of black and gold was as tall as it was unmoving, unchanged, yet to my eyes, it was… strange.

I could hear faint whispers coming from it, like an ominous shroud of thoughts blanketing the blade and its vicinity.

It wanted me to kill, to feed. It wanted me to play, to cook, to do something that I liked, that I wanted to do. It didn’t care what it was, but just staying here, passive, not doing anything, was making me crazy.

I didn’t know if that emotion was mine or the blade’s, but I could feel it nonetheless, getting mad at doing nothing.

So that’s what Nate meant about the curse of craving. You’ll want to do things you love, more, larger, all the time. You’ll want to eat at all hours, to kill whenever you can, to play and entertain yourself as often and as long as possible. Your wants, your needs, your cravings will be blown out of proportion.

Well, that’s now how she said it, but that’s how I remembered it.

That’s why I was restless, why I couldn’t help but be bored. Oh, I already knew that I had a hard time staying put, my parents loved to tease me about it, but with Terrenacht’s influence…

I shuddered. I had accepted the blade to fight and survive, because I needed it, but now I was afraid of how it would affect me.

How it could change me.

But I wasn’t consumed by this fear. Kael would be my beacon, as always.

We would protect each other, and if anything happened because of this cursed sword, he would save me, just as I would save him if Azurfall corrupted him.

We were the last family the other had. This bond would never break.

***

It was a dream. I knew it because no castle could be this big.

Or fly.

The last thing I remembered was my sister holding me…

I must have fallen asleep.

The castle was floating between the mountains, but that was all I could see. Everything was… inky, like ink that was washed away by water, blurry and ethereal.

There was a road in front of me. I looked back, but only saw darkness.

I shrugged and started walking forward. One second I was on the path, the next one I was facing the massive doors of the castle.

I tilted my head and pushed. The doors, which I was sure wouldn’t move, started opening.

The thing should have needed a group of STR-specialized classes to open, but it didn’t overly surprise me. It was a dream after all.

The insides of the castle were cold, abandoned. There was no tapestry, no candelabra or furniture whatsoever, only dust and dry stone corridors. The windows were empty, without any glass, simple dark holes doting the walls.

At one point I arrived at another big door, opening it like the first one. Its leaves swung silently, letting me inside a gigantic room.

It looked a bit like the drawing of the Gods’ cathedrals I had seen in some books, but being inside of it, not simply looking at an image, was something else entirely. Here the curves and objects were sharper, less blurry. It felt more solid than the rest of the dream, in a sense.

At the end of the room, a throne was standing and, on the throne, a shadow.

“Come closer.” The shadow said with a mysterious voice. I obeyed and, as I came closer, I realized It must have been twice or thrice my size.

Darkness seemed to leak from it, floating towards the ceiling like an inversed waterfall of black fumes, and even as I walked closer, the silhouette's traits stayed inky and unclear.

“Who are you.” It asked, its voice full of… sadness? Melancholy? I wasn’t sure exactly, but it didn’t feel good.

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

Oh. It felt empty, like the castle. Yes, that was it. Empty.

“I’m Kael.” I answered, waving at it. I didn’t like the desolation surrounding me, excluding from the form, so I chose to be cheerful.

“And who are you?” I asked back. Even if it was a shadow, I could see it was surprised.

It bent forward on its throne and looked down at me.

“Don’t you know of me, child? My name is feared across the land, around the mountains and under the oceans! Every ruler quake in fear of my appearance, every man and woman lust after my grace! I could erase you with a wave of my hand, yet you don’t know of me?!” The form said, outraged.

“I AM-!” It said, then frowned. “I am…” It mumbled weakly. “Who am I?” It finally asked, falling back on its throne.

At this point, strength seemed to leave its shadowy body, and it sighed. “I am tired, child.” It waved, and I was gently blown away.

“Come back when I’m awake again.” It added as I floated towards the ceiling of the room, before being swallowed by the waterfall of darkness.

I didn’t know why, but I was feeling bad for the shadow. No name, nothing but an empty castle and an old throne. Even during its speech, I hadn’t felt any bloodlust, any aggressivity, the form never wanted to hurt me.

As I sunk into the blackness, I took one last look at the form. It was falling asleep on its throne, holding something in its hands. A locket.

***

I slowly opened my eyes to a strange scene. Lana was sitting in front of the soup bowl, eyes closed, taking deep, rhythmed breaths.

Not wanting to break her focus, I watched silently. Every sixty breaths or so, she would take a spoon of soup, then go back to slow breathing.

She was slightly pale, and maybe a bit in pain, but she didn’t seem distressed either.

I would have let her keep going but, at one point, my stomach gurgled, which made her look at me.

“Kael? How long have you been awake?” She suddenly said, realizing I was watching her.

“I’ve watched you eat ten spoons, so a handful of minutes at best,” I answered matter-of-factly. “Also, before you ask, I feel… not bad. I’m not in pain or anything. I’m hungry, but I guess that’s a feeling we won’t get rid off for some more time. What were you doing?” I finally asked.

“Trying to eat. Hunger and boredom are making me crazy!” She said, pounding the table with her fist. She then quickly looked at me and looked away. “Sorry. Nate explained that I would crave a lot more things, but I didn’t know it would feel like that. It’s like I’m empty and I can’t fill myself.”

Touched by her frustrated face, I tried to get out of bed, but tripped.

“Kael?!” Lana exclaimed, rushing by my side. “Are you sure you’re alright?” She asked, worried.

“Y-yeah, sorry, maybe I’m still a bit weak. Since, you know, I lost a lot of blood.” She helped me go back to the bed, and sat beside me.

“...Now what?” She asked, already getting restless. “Now we wait for our benefactor to… wake up? Come back to life? Well, you get it.” I answered, and she frowned, starting to fidget with her hair.

“Hey, let’s play a game…” I said, hitting her lightly with my shoulder to grab her attention.

***

The sun was bright in the sky, and warm, but not overly so. It was just the right amount of warmth and brightness, to give this afternoon a perfect vibe.

Green, fat grass extended endlessly over rolling hills, dotted by many tulips, pink, purple, red and white mixed all around.

On top of a hill, a large parasol had been planted in the ground, giving shade to a sprawling blanket where food baskets lay, full of many different dishes and drinks fit for a picnic.

Smiling, I climbed the hill and met with the person currently lazing, her torso and head under the shade while her legs were bathed by the sun, her back against a pile of luxurious frilly pillows.

“Hey.” She said without opening her eyes. Today she appeared as a younger red-headed woman, her body slender, clothed in an elegant yet light summer attire.

“Sunbathing are we?” I asked with a smile.

“I thought you could use some…” She waved her hand, “some air and space, after being confined in that tiny caves.” She looked at me and smiled. “A fresh sight. You never changed before, but I do love this new look. It fits you well.” She commented, and I looked at myself.

A black cat's tail was swinging on my back, and I could feel cat ears on my head. I was still in my catfolk form.

“It seems like I took quite a liking to it. Not to boast, but I think I did a pretty good job, I’m getting quite fond of this body.” I said, nodding at her before sitting at her side.

“Here…” She said, giving me some grapes to eat but, before I grabbed it, a headache assaulted me, and I gripped my head.

“...They did quite a number on you this time. Here.” She grabbed my head and gave me a lap pillow, massaging my temples for a while, until the pain recessed.

“Yes, the pain had been quite starker than usual,” I answered, sitting back at her side and eating some of the grapes she fed me.

“That vampiric weapon not only draws the blood of its owner but also of its targets.” She commented.

“I wasn’t aware. The descriptions of those cursed items are always so unclear…” I said with frustration.

“Not unlike other legendary items. These objects simply have too much history, they can’t be properly summarized through Identify.”

“I just hope I didn’t fuck up by giving them those cursed weapons…” I said, concerned. “They’ll be a great boost to their growth and battle prowess, and only you know how much they’ll need that, but I don’t want to ruin their lives.” I voiced my worries.

I had to be confident in front of the twins, to project a dependable image, but behind the scene I was still fumbling in the dark, trying things, testing options without knowing what they’ll bring in the long run.

“You’re making the best out of what you’ve got, and those children should count themselves lucky. Had they not encountered you, they would be hobgoblins' feed now, or worse, breeding stocks.” She said to reassure me. I shuddered at her last sentence and nodded.

“You’ve grown quite attached to those two kittens.” She then added, putting an arm around my shoulders.

“They remind me of my little brother,” I explained, snuggling against her while she kept feeding me. “I don’t want them to die or suffer like me. They’re just children, it’s not fair.”

“Life isn’t fair. That’s what I’m for.” She said jokingly, and I laughed lightly.

“It’s true, and yet here you are, spoiling me,” I commented as she scratched my cat ears. “H-hey, easy, that’s sensitive…” I exclaimed, blushing slightly.

“Ah!” She laughed before kissing me, then dragged me a bit further on the blanket where we kissed some more, just not always on the lips…

***

“Look, she’s waking up!” Lana exclaimed.

“Urgh, fuck’s sake,” I said, massaging my head to try and lessen the pain.

Why is it so painful? I asked my other minds.

Azurfall seems to inflict cursed wounds.

We’ve been dead for quite a while this time around.

Cursed wounds?

Yes vampirism and regen block.

That’s pretty powerful.

I hate when I can’t get a full readout of an item. Analysis mind said.

It had always bothered her but even more so when those kinds of things

blew up to our faces like that.

However, I quickly composed myself and focused back on the present moment.

“I’m back,” I said to the twins as they both looked at me with tired faces. “How long was I gone this time?”

“We… are not sure.” Kael started answering.

"We slept through a part of it," Lana added.

"Most likely half a day then. Pretty long for a simple stab in the brain..." I commented, massaging the temple that had been pierced.

"It seems like Azurfall is a pretty nasty weapon, it drained me of my blood as it killed me," I added, and Kael looked away.

"Sorry." He said, but I shook my head.

"You couldn't know and, besides, I'm the one who gave you the weapon and asked you to kill me, so you're not at fault here, at all." I stretched a bit, pain from Azurfall's wound recessing slowly but surely.

I then spotted the empty soup bowl. "I guess that, after killing me, you were finally able to eat properly, Kael?" I asked the boy.

"I could only eat half the bowl, and Lana fed me." He said, frowning.

"Half the bowl is pretty good. I still think you'll need to learn Mana Poisoning Resistance, but at least now it's less a matter of imminent survival and more a long-term investment to avoid dying." I nodded and added. "You really needed that food. I didn't expect Azurfall to be so aggressive during its bonding, we were lucky your sister was there to take care of you, otherwise it would have been a lot harder since I would have had to be the one to do it, and you wouldn't have been able to level up from killing me." I then looked into his eyes.

"And don't you dare think that you had to rely on your sister once more. If anything, I was the one who fucked up and had to ask her for help, okay?" My voice may have lacked emotions but that didn't mean I didn't try to cheer him up. It was just harder for me to be empathetic or expressive with all the pain ravaging my mind.

"...Okay. Yes." He slowly started nodding and grabbed his sister's hand, smiling a little. You could see they were glad to have each other, even though they stayed silent.

"Anyway," I turned my gaze toward Lana. "I guess you were the one eating the rest of the food?" I asked, a bit curious and worried, but not overly so since she seemed to be healthy right now.

"Y-yes, well. I was just too hungry, so I eat it very slowly, to avoid poisoning." She answered, troubled, taking a quick glance at Terrenacht.

"Oh. You already feel it, right? The Craving." I said, and she nodded.

"I'm hungry and bored all the time. It's only thanks to Kael that I didn't become mad. We played games and he kept talking to me all the time, so it wasn't too bad, but I'm not sure what I would have done if he wasn't here. Maybe I would have gone outside, just to stop being bored." She answered, crossing her arms, disturbed.

"...That started sooner than expected, and I didn't think it would be that strong, too, not yet at least. Next time one of you kills me, I'll leave you books and maybe a training area so you can move around and do something. It must be torture to be confined in this tiny stone box without anything to do, when you have such a curse. I apologize."

She shook her head, however, and threw a sharp gaze at her cursed sword. "Terrenacht will make me stronger, I can't complain. I just have to endure it." She turned her eyes back at me. "Don't worry, Nate."

"Good. You twins' spirits are strong, that's a good sign for your survival around those parts. So, how do you feel right now? Are you still hungry or anything?"

"...Yes." Kael said, eagerly followed by Lana's nods. "And thirsty, too. We had soup but we haven't really drank since we arrive here."

"I'm feeling parched!" Lana added, and I frowned.

"...Even the water is mana-dense around here. I can give you something to drink, but if you drink enough water to alleviate your thirst you'll most likely get Mana Poisoning..." I slowly caressed my lips, thinking.

"Lana, how did it feel the first time around when I trained your Mana Poisoning Resistance?" I suddenly asked, and she grimaced.

"It felt really bad." She answered honestly. "But the hunger is nearly as horrible, so I think I prefer to build my resistance than keep being famished."

Sadly, right now, the only thing they could really do was choose their suffering, and I didn't like it at all, but it's not like I could do anything about it either. Sometimes, in life, you just have to do it the hard way.

"Then I think it's a good time for your second round of resistance training, Lana, and your first one, Kael. I'll make you eat some solid food to start, then you'll drink your share of water to be as poisoned by mana as possible, and I'll keep you alive and help your train your resistance just like I did before." I looked at them sharply as I proposed that idea.

Lana grimaced again and clenched her fist, but kept her gaze locked with mine. At the same time, Kael was looking at his sister and, sighing deeply, nodded along.

"Okay, I will do it." He finally said, dejected and resigned.

"Yes, let's do that," Lana added, determined.

"Understood. And afterward, I'll have a small gift for you, okay?" I added and they looked at me curiously, but soon enough any curiosity was wiped from their mind as they started screaming and squirming in pain on their bed, Mana Poisoning ravaging their bodies as I kept them alive, once again at the lowest threshold possible, to fasten the process of gaining Mana Poisoning Resistance proficiency.